dual personalities

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November 2, 2012

Seven Secrets of a Confident Woman

by chuckofish

Please indulge me in a little end-of-the-week preaching. This is from Joyce Meyer, who always calls it like she sees it, and I usually see it the same way. Read the whole thing. And, yes, it’s good advice for men as well.

Seven Secrets of a Confident Woman
by Joyce Meyer

Secret #1—A Confident Woman Knows That She Is Loved
The first and most important secret to being a confident woman is to know that you are loved by God unconditionally. Romans 5:8 says, …God shows and clearly proves His [own] love for us by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One) died for us. Even if your natural father did not really love you properly, you can still get the love and acceptance you missed in your childhood from God.

Secret #2—A Confident Woman Refuses To Live In Fear
I think you will agree that refusing to be led by our feelings can be a challenge, especially when it comes to fear. But we must remember that fear is not from God. It is the devil’s tool to keep us from enjoying our lives and moving forward with what God has for us. When we attempt to walk in faith, Satan immediately tries to hinder us through many things, including fear. Fear of failure, judgment or criticism will cause us to bury our talents. It will make us draw back and live in misery and torment. Unless we make a firm decision to “fear not,” we will never be free from its power.

Secret #3—A Confident Woman Is Positive
Being negative and being confident do not go together. Like oil and water, they just don’t mix. Being negative opens the door to a lot of problems and disappointments, which fuels the fire for more negativity. Fear is the “dark room” where all your negatives are developed. So why not look at the brighter side of life and believe something good is going to happen to you?

Secret #4—A Confident Woman Recovers From Setbacks
In this life you and I are inevitably going to experience setbacks. The important thing is that we not see them as failures. We are not a failure just because we try something that doesn’t work. It’s only when we stop trying that we fail. The truth is, many people get confused when they’re trying to figure out what they’re supposed to do with their lives. This was definitely true in my life. I discovered my destiny by trial and error.

Secret #5—A Confident Woman Avoids Comparison
It is impossible to walk in confidence and compare ourselves with others at the same time. No matter how good we look or how talented, smart and successful we are, there is always someone who is better than us. I believe that confidence is found in doing the best we can with what we have. God wants us to find joy in being the best we can be, not in competing or comparing ourselves with others.

Secret #6—A Confident Woman Does Not Live In “If Only” And “What If”
One of the worst things you and I can do is to focus on what we don’t have or have lost and fail to take an inventory of what we do have. I call it living in a state of “if only.” Does this sound familiar: “If only I had more education…more money…more opportunity. If only I were taller, shorter, older, younger…” and the list goes on.

Secret #7—A Confident Woman Takes Action
I have heard it said that there are two types of people in the world: those who wait for something to happen and those who make something happen. It’s true that we need to be careful not to get ahead of God, but we also must be mindful not to be lagging behind. I believe we need to step out into things and find out what God has for us. As I said earlier, if we make a mistake it is not the end of the world.

Have a great weekend!

3 Comments
November 1, 2012

What to watch

by chuckofish

Ralphie: Hey Curly, what all happens in a hurricane?
Curly: The wind blows so hard the ocean gets up on its hind legs and walks right across the land.
Toots: And singin’ this song: Rain rain, go away, little Ralphie wants to play.

I don’t know about you, but all this non-stop weather talk has put me in the mood for Key Largo (1948).

It is a humdinger of a good movie, based on a play by Maxwell Anderson, the screenplay written by Richard Brooks and John Huston. You just can’t do much better than that. It is a classic Warner Brothers production of the 1940s, featuring some of its greatest stars: Humphrey Bogart, Edward G. Robinson, Lauren Bacall, Lionel Barrymore, Claire Trevor (in her Academy Award-winning performance), and a host of character actors. The music is by Max Steiner. The full Warner Brothers treatment.

(On a personal note: I have a fondness for Warner Brothers movies, because my mother did also. When she was growing up in Worcester, Massachusetts she had a friend whose brother went to Worcester Academy where there was the Lewis J. Warner ’28 Memorial Theater. Built in 1932, it was a gift from Warner Brothers Studio President Harry Warner, who donated the building to honor the memory of his only son. Lewis died within three years of graduating from the academy. They showed Warner Brothers movies there on Saturdays and Mary would go there with her friend to see all her favorites: Errol Flynn, Bette Davis, Humphrey Bogart et al.)

Key Largo tells the story of Frank McCloud, disillusioned WWII veteran, who visits the hotel of his deceased friend’s father in the Florida Keys and falls in love with the man’s widow. When mobster Johnny Rocco arrives on the scene with his crew of henchmen just as a hurricane bears down on them, drama ensues.

I think it is my favorite Humphrey Bogart movie (except for The Petrified Forest, of course). And Claire Trevor was never better (even in Stagecoach where she was also terrific.).

What does a girl have to do for a drink around here?

Her Academy-Award winning big scene is a classic. You can imagine a lesser actress really over-playing it. She gets it just right.

I wish this clip included what happens after she sings, because it’s the best. The timing is perfect: Bogart-Robinson-Bogart. Thank you. Hats off to the director, John Huston, as well.

The special effects are not great, but who cares? You get the idea just fine. It was adapted from a play, so it has that stage-y quality. But I don’t mind. And I don’t mind the flag-waving aspects either. Not at all. They’re kind of refreshing.

9 Comments
October 31, 2012

Reposez en paix

by chuckofish

Twenty years ago today our father ANC III died. He was seventy years old.

We like to think of him as the happy three-year old on an Italian beach in 1925 (pictured here) where he lived with his ex-patriot parents, although to be honest, he looks nervous and contemplative.

According to family legend, the A.A. Milnes lived nearby and he and Christopher Robin were friends/acquaintances.

To be sure, Ernest Shepard’s illustrations of Christopher Robin look more like little ANC than the Milne’s boy. Well, whatever, our father was always a big fan of Winnie-the-Pooh and friends and enjoyed reading the stories and poems to his children. The first present he bought for his first grandchild was a hardback copy of When We Were Young.

And, yes, it is Halloween today, so I leave you with this:

Holy flurking schnit!

5 Comments
October 30, 2012

Tout va bien

by chuckofish

Well, the sky is blue, blue, blue in our flyover state.

I feel almost guilty with all the talk about Sandy, and both daughters # 1 and #2 now living on the east coast. They are both hunkering down with the essentials.

Photo from daughter #1’s blog

We’re hoping for the best.

Here is an appropriate prayer from the 1789 U.S. Book of Common Prayer:

ALMIGHTY and most merciful Father, we humbly beseech thee, of thy great goodness, to restrain those immoderate rains, wherewith, for our sins, thou hast afflicted us. And we pray thee to send us such seasonable weather, that the earth may, in due time, yield her increase for our use and benefit. And give us grace, that we may learn by thy punishments to amend our lives, and for thy clemency to give thee thanks and praise; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Not surprisingly the Episcopal Church, when revising the BCP in 1976, left out this prayer. How the editors must have cringed at the idea of God punishing us! In fact, there is now no prayer for restraining immoderate weather, only a prayer For Rain. Here it is:

O God, heavenly Father, who by thy Son Jesus Christ hast promised to all those who seek thy kingdom and its righteousness all things necessary to sustain their life: Send us, we entreat thee, in this time of need, such moderate rain and showers, that we may receive the fruits of the earth, to our comfort and to they honor; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

All very well and good, but what shall we pray today? Anne Lamott once wrote: “’Help’ is a prayer that is always answered. It doesn’t matter how you pray–with your head bowed in silence, or crying out in grief, or dancing. Churches are good for prayer, but so are garages and cars and mountains and showers and dance floors.” (Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith) And here’s a good word from Ralph Waldo Emerson: “The wise man in the storm prays to God not for safety from danger but for deliverance from fear.”

Anyway, keep praying.

9 Comments
October 28, 2012

The wild and crazy 18th century English

by chuckofish

This dual personality’s darling husband recently started a blog concerning his research on Joshua Kirby, an interesting (if minor) English artist. You can visit it here.You might wonder what a mathematician is doing studying an artist, but Kirby was famous for his treatise on perspective (see there is a math connection) and finagled a career at court out of it. William Hogarth’s famous false perspective engraving was the frontispiece for the book.

The subscription lists for the volume and its reprints also tell a fascinating story. Prosopography is so interesting! Being an excellent historian (in addition to being a brilliant mathematician), my spouse has immersed himself in the world of 18th century London and is sharing his discoveries via his blog. It’s good reading — go see for yourself!

4 Comments
October 27, 2012

Halloween Horror

by chuckofish

Halloween has always been big in my household. The candy had appeal, of course, but for my boys the fun was all in the costume. The discussion of what to be for Halloween started so early that I had to institute the “not before October” rule to save my sanity — because everyone knows that Halloween costumes have to be HOME-MADE! I never could have survived had I not had friends who were handy with a needle. I can make capes, but that’s about all.

Sometimes friends who lived out of the village would come in to trick-or-treat and the children agreed on a theme. There was a Star Wars year and a Lord of the Rings year and once everyone went as a Harry Potter character.

Here we have the Weasleys — the twins, Ron (Chris) and Ginny — Dumbledore, Mad-eye-moody, Harry (James), and our very own Dobby the House Elf (Tim) complete with tea cozy hat and pillow case top. Poor Tim was in Kindergarten and when he wore the costume to school everyone thought he was some kind of weird frog because five-year-olds don’t read Harry Potter. Oh, well. He had a better time in other years.

Sometimes we opted for classic movie monsters like the Wolf Man

Lon Chaney eat your heart out

or the Phantom of the Opera. The mask was a real challenge.

Sometimes we went literary. Meet Edgar Allan Poe with his very own raven and black cat. The mustache is a little Charlie Chaplin but the cravat works.

Occasionally things have gotten really elaborate. Can you name the beast?

Hint: red is the bad color

And last but not least (at least for this year), here’s a very simple favorite:

Death (English style) takes a holiday. Note the hat, pipe, and sandals with socks.

What are you going to be this year?

5 Comments
October 26, 2012

Friday movie pick: a matter of cosmic history

by chuckofish

The other day the boy happened to mention to me that the Star Trek movies are now available on Netflix to watch instantly. He had watched Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan (1982), one of our favorites.

Later that evening when challenged with the persistent “What to watch” question, I thought, “Wrath of Khan!” (Have I mentioned how much I love Watch Instantly?)

I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed this outing of the Starship Enterprise. In reality it is the best of a very mediocre series, but we always make allowances for the campy/cheesy Star Trek franchise, because why not admit it, we love James T. Kirk as portrayed by the one and only William Shatner. It reminds me of my childhood, watching the original show with my older brother. I think even as a fourth grader I knew it was cheesy–the cardboard sets, the plaster of Paris planets, the ridiculous hair and makeup on all the busty women on the show, the pajama-like uniforms. But there were characters, real characters. They were not cardboard.

The Wrath of Khan includes all our favorite characters, played by the original (albeit aging and not very attractive) actors. It also boasts Ricardo Montalban in his best role, the Melville-quoting and Ahab-channeling Khan. The film also introduces a trim Kirstie Alley as a Vulcan. The plot is engaging: “It is the twenty-third century. Admiral James T. Kirk is feeling old; the prospect of accompanying his old ship, the Enterprise–now a Starfleet Academy training ship–on a two-week cadet cruise is not making him feel any younger. But the training cruise becomes a deadly serious mission when Khan Noonien Singh appears after years of exile–and holding the power of creation itself.” (IMDB.com)

Following up on an episode from the original series which dealt with Khan (also played by Matalban in a wig)–a product of late-20th century genetic engineering. Fifteen years later, Khan, now sporting a graying fright wig and prosthetic chest, is bent on revenge.

This is a perfect set-up for all the Star Trek bells and whistles. But unlike more current movies, it is not totally focused on computer-generated battles (although there is some of that), but rather on the thought processes of our dueling brainiacs. This is good stuff. Plus there is good dialogue, including the usual repartee between McCoy and Spock:

McCoy: Dear Lord. You think we’re intelligent enough to… suppose… what if this thing were used where life already exists?
Spock: It would destroy such life in favor of its new matrix.
McCoy: Its “new matrix”? Do you have any idea what you’re saying?
Spock: I was not attempting to evaluate its moral implications, Doctor. As a matter of cosmic history, it has always been easier to destroy than to create.
McCoy: Not anymore; now we can do both at the same time! According to myth, the Earth was created in six days. Now, watch out! Here comes Genesis! We’ll do it for you in six minutes!
Spock: Really, Dr. McCoy. You must learn to govern your passions; they will be your undoing. Logic suggests…
McCoy: Logic? My God, the man’s talking about logic; we’re talking about universal Armageddon! You green-blooded, inhuman…

And there is, of course, Khan quoting Melville:

To the last, I will grapple with thee… from Hell’s heart, I stab at thee! For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee!

There is also the underlying theme of Kirk’s feeling old. Dr. McCoy chides him about it: “Damn it Jim, what the hell is the matter with you? Other people have birthdays, why are we treating yours like a funeral?” Perhaps watching this movie now with the perspective of a fifty-something-year-old, I can relate more now than ever with our hero. He is struggling and kind of sad and this makes him, I think, all the more appealing.

Anyway, Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan is my pick for a Friday funfest. I will admit that I also watched Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984) this week, which is pretty darn bad–but also enjoyable on a certain level. And, you know, sometimes, you are just in the mood for Star Trek and not Citizen Kane. Am I not right?

And as if I could do a blog post about this movie without including THIS:

6 Comments
October 25, 2012

A laurel and hardy handshake

by chuckofish

Earlier in the week my students surprised me with a party celebrating my 10 years at my flyover university. I was completely taken by surprise, which considering there were nearly 700 people keeping the secret, is pretty amazing. They gave me a lovely corsage, flowers and a very large cake (which quickly disappeared).

Thankfully I did not cry. But I was reminded of how grateful I am to have my job and how blessed I am to work with such wonderful and kind people. It is easy in this world to feel taken for granted and under appreciated, isn’t it? It is a good thing to tell people thank you and well done and I love you.

So your assignment today is to smile at your colleagues and your students and the checker in the grocery store. Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.

6 Comments
October 24, 2012

My little gypsy sweetheart(s)

by chuckofish

Today’s fond look backward at Halloween costumes of yore: the re-cycled witch costume worn for the umpteenth time on daughter #2 and the first appearance of the “Gypsy” costume on daughter #1 circa 1996.

Daughter #1 does not look too happy to be channeling Lucille Ball! I am the Queen of the Gypsies! Gyp-gyp-gyp-gyp-gyp-gypsies! I ride along in my Gypsy caravan in the finest Gypsy band in the land. There are no kings in the Gypsies.

Now here is daughter #2 (pre-orthodontia) a few years later in the Gypsy costume.

Gyp-gyp-gyp-gyp-gyp-gypsies! You know what they mean when they shake their tambourine and I’m their Gypsy Queen!

P.S. Those dangling purple (wooden) earrings worn by both gypsies were worn by our conservative mother for real in the mod 1960s.

And here’s a bonus! Chico Marx plays “Gypsy Love Song” in Cocoanuts (1929)!

10 Comments
October 23, 2012

Who would you choose?

by chuckofish

If you read a variety of blogs, you have certainly come across more than one of those posts where the writer asks the question: Who would you choose if you could have lunch with anyone? Usually they go on to tell you how they would love to get together with Audrey Hepburn, Princess Diana, Thomas Jefferson, Mother Theresa, Steven Spielberg and so on. Blah, blah, blah, boring celebrities. And, yes, I include Thomas Jefferson in that company. He would probably choose to have lunch with Marilyn Monroe.

Not that I’m judging anyone for their choices. Everyone is free to choose whom they want to choose. This is America after all! Come on.

Anyway, I’m sure you can guess who I would choose. Just in the last few days I’ve talked about Bob Dylan and Hilary Mantel and Marty Stuart–all would be charming companions at a meal. And you know how I feel about Frederick Buechner and Raymond Chandler. A conversation with them–to die for! As for movie stars, we’d need a big table to accommodate all my favorites.

But if we’re really talking about conversation, let’s invite:


Thomas Cranmer. He wrote the book.


General Sherman. He had Grant’s back.


U.S. Grant. He epitomized humility and courage. He had Lincoln’s back. And he was a really good writer.


Dorothy Rabinowitz. She tells it like it is in the WSJ.


T.E. Lawrence. He would be awesome, but we’d need someone to come along with us who could make him feel comfortable and draw him out of his shell–like Mrs. George Bernard Shaw.


Mary Prowers Hough, my great-great grandmother and the classiest lady to ever set foot in Colorado. I’d have a million questions for her.


J.D. Salinger. We could talk about Jesus over a glass of ginger ale in the kitchen.


Eudora Welty. We’d talk about stories and the art of writing them. I think I would like to invite


Shirley Jackson to come along too. The three of us would get along famously.


Saint Timothy. He received letters from Saint Paul containing personal advice which I take very personally: God did not give you a spirit of timidity!

Well, I’m sure I’ve left out some obvious choices. Who would you want to share a meal with? Alexander? Sargon the Great? Thomas Cromwell? Oliver Cromwell? Johnny Depp?

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