dual personalities

Tag: spirituality

September 20, 2022

A holy rest

by chuckofish

My lunch date was canceled yesterday so I was able to tune into the committal service at St. George’s Chapel at Windsor for Queen Elizabeth on the BBC.

It was remarkably humble and solemn.

As soon as the choir of men and boys began to sing, although I am no royalist, the tears came and I sobbed, surprising myself. Sitting alone, I had a good cry.

And the solitary piper doing the slow walk…

Well, this old (former) Episcopalian was quite moved.

And I have to say that I was mighty impressed to read that David Beckham had stood in line for thirteen hours waiting with his fellow countrymen to pay his respects to his queen. Isn’t it surprising when a celebrity acts well?

As a father shows compassion to his children,
    so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
14 For he knows our frame;[a]
    he remembers that we are dust.

15 As for man, his days are like grass;
    he flourishes like a flower of the field;
16 for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
    and its place knows it no more.
17 But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
    and his righteousness to children’s children,
18 to those who keep his covenant
    and remember to do his commandments.
19 The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,
    and his kingdom rules over all.

20 Bless the Lord, O you his angels,
    you mighty ones who do his word,
    obeying the voice of his word!
21 Bless the Lord, all his hosts,
    his ministers, who do his will!
22 Bless the Lord, all his works,
    in all places of his dominion.
Bless the Lord, O my soul!

Psalm 103: 13-22

Into your hands, O merciful Savior, we commend your servant Elizabeth. Acknowledge, we humbly beseech you, a sheep of your own fold, a lamb of your own flock, a sinner of your own redeeming. Receive her into the arms of your mercy, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the glorious company of the saints in light. Amen.

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September 12, 2022

Lift up your heart, lift up your voice!*

by chuckofish

Well, how was your weekend?

We toasted the queen…

…whom I will miss especially because she always reminded me of my mother and now that connection is gone.

We toasted daughter #1 and celebrated her birthday yesterday…

And we toasted all those brave souls who died on September 11, 2001. Last year I included a video in a blogpost about a fine young man who died in one of the towers helping others and I encourage you to watch it again. Lest we forget.

Yes, there was a lot of toasting, but some events call for that. L’chaim! In the midst of life we are in death (BCP).

This reminder of the Budweiser ad that only aired once in honor of 9/11 is cool.

And I liked this article about taking up your cross daily. “If anyone wants to follow after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me,” Jesus says.

For when we cease to worship God, we do not worship nothing, we worship anything.

–G.K. Chesterton

What do you worship? Yourself? Science? Social Justice? It’s an important question.

*Charles Wesley, 1744

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August 1, 2022

“Footfalls echo in the memory Down the passage which we did not take”*

by chuckofish

It is August now and our summer has been a hot one. I am thinking how nice it would be to be floating in a lake in Maine with my Massachusetts cousins (see above). Alas, I am not. Sixty or so years have passed since that picture was taken–hard to believe.

Happily, the temperatures came down this weekend to a very respectable low eighties. It was overcast, but pleasant enough to sit outside on the patio and contemplate the passage of time. I was happy that daughter #1 could join me for happy hour.

I spent a good part of Saturday attending an online auction where I was glad to see some vigorous bidding on “brown furniture.” This meant that I didn’t get anything, but c’est la vie. I was glad to see that there is still a market for tall case clocks. The prices are still amazingly low compared to twenty years ago, but they are, nevertheless, more than I am willing to pay for a rescue. I did buy a nice wing chair for $25. I mean, nobody wants a wing chair these days. Nobody but me.

On Sunday we went to church and were joined by the boy and his two wild monkeys. They checked their depravity and behaved, but when we got home they let loose and wreaked some havoc. (Note that our wing chairs took quite a beating.)

At some point the havoc moved outside (thankfully).

I am out of breath just looking at these pictures! When the wee babes headed home, daughter #1 also headed back to Jeff City, and the OM and I crashed for awhile before heading back to church that evening to celebrate the assistant pastor who is leaving with his family for a new job in Tuscaloosa.

Sunrise, sunset.

And though this world, with devils filled, should threaten to undo us,
We will not fear, for God hath willed His truth to triumph through us;
The Prince of Darkness grim, we tremble not for him;
His rage we can endure, for lo, his doom is sure,
One little word shall fell him.

–Martin Luther, Ein Feste Burg

*T.S. Eliot, “Burnt Norton”

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July 6, 2022

“Where the air is full of sunlight and the flag is full of stars”*

by chuckofish

Almighty God, Who has given us this good land for our heritage; We humbly beseech Thee that we may always prove ourselves a people mindful of Thy favor and glad to do Thy will. Bless our land with honorable ministry, sound learning, and pure manners.

Save us from violence, discord, and confusion, from pride and arrogance, and from every evil way. Defend our liberties, and fashion into one united people the multitude brought hither out of many kindreds and tongues.

Endow with Thy spirit of wisdom those to whom in Thy Name we entrust the authority of government, that there may be justice and peace at home, and that through obedience to Thy law, we may show forth Thy praise among the nations of the earth.

In time of prosperity fill our hearts with thankfulness, and in the day of trouble, suffer not our trust in Thee to fail; all of which we ask through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen. (1928 BCP)

I hope you all had an uplifting Fourth of July and that you were able to celebrate with family and friends. We had the gang over for a barbecue and then we headed to the Kirkwood High School parking lot where we set up camp for the local fireworks display and waited for sundown.

We agreed that the display was not as good as the one in Jeff City, but the company was stellar and the boy had stocked the cooler in his truck with bevvies.

The wee laddie immediately made friends with the family in the next car over and was ready to depart with them at the close of the show, once again earning his title as the Friendliest Boy in Town.

By the way, he also won the prize for the best shooter in his age group at lacrosse camp last week, rocketing shots at 17 miles an hour. His father was pleased and proud. Not bad for our 30-pound (when wet) 5-year old wonder boy.

He has also advanced to off-roading in the Power Wheels Raptor.

Lottie, who is too timid to drive, is nevertheless a terrific backseat driver, as you can see. (“Slow down! Cramp it! Stop!”)

Meanwhile I have caught up with my Bible reading, on which I had fallen embarrassingly behind during my vacation. Phew. I am halfway through the year and halfway through the Bible.

I am really enjoying it and highly recommend it as a daily habit.

We all growl like bears,
And moan sadly like doves;
We look for justice, but there is none;
For salvation, but it is far from us.

Isaiah 59:11

Well, here are a few links to read if you feel like it.

I hear you. “I have been delighted to discover that the closer I draw to God, the less I want of the world.”

Don’t be a Jellyfish Christian. “Mark what I say. If you want to do good in these times, you must throw aside indecision, and take up a distinct, sharply-cut, doctrinal religion. . . . The victories of Christianity, wherever they have been won, have been won by distinct doctrinal theology; by telling men roundly of Christ’s vicarious death and sacrifice; by showing them Christ’s substitution on the cross, and his precious blood; by teaching them justification by faith, and bidding them believe on a crucified Savior; by preaching ruin by sin, redemption by Christ, regeneration by the Spirit; by lifting up the brazen serpent; by telling men to look and live — to believe, repent, and be converted.” (J.C. Ryle, Holiness, 328)

This is excellent.

*Henry Van Dyke

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June 13, 2022

“Tune my heart to sing thy grace”

by chuckofish

The heat has been turned up and they are forecasting that our flyover high will hit over 100 degrees today. Yippee.

Daughter #1 returned from her conference in San Antonio and I picked her up at the airport. She stayed for the weekend because she has a work thing today, so we were able to indulge in a good bit of patio sitting and a few estate sales over the weekend. We also attended the home and garden tour presented every June by Historic Saint Louis. There are 25 homes on the tour and this year we picked two we had never visited.

First we visited the Hawken House in Webster Groves. It was the home of Christopher Hawken, the great-grandson of Niclaus Hachen (Hawken) who came to America from Switzerland about 1750, settling in York County, Pennsylvania.  His father, Jacob, came to St. Louis in 1807, where he began crafting the famous Hawken Rifle in a shop on the Mississippi Riverfront. 

You will recall that the coveted Hawken Rifle was the “gun that settled the west,” since it was prized by so many famous westward explorers and trappers, including Daniel Boone, Davy Crockett, Kit Carson, John Fremont, Jim Bridger, and Robert Campbell, the famous St. Louis fur trader.

Anyway, Christopher’s wife, Mary Ann Kinkead Eads, was the eldest of three daughters of Granville O. Eads and Lucinda Sappington. Lucinda was the only child of Thomas Sappington (of the Sappington House) and his first wife Mary Ann Kinkead. They built the Hawken House in 1857.

The beautiful home was moved (intact) about half a mile to its present site when it was threatened with demolition in 1970. It was the first home in Missouri to receive federal funds for restoration, which matched the amount raised by the citizens of Webster Groves and is listed on the National Historic Register.

The informal parlor where (allegedly) Ulysses Grant played cards with Mr. Hawken.

Next we ventured to Overland to visit their historic circa 1850 Log House…

…which was likewise moved from another location (in Wildwood) under threat of demolition. This small group of local preservation enthusiasts, however, moved the cabin piece by piece and rebuilt it on the present site themselves! This project took eight years to complete. I was very impressed. The museum features exhibits of Overland and the Overland Trail, displays of antique toys, accessories, and firearms. As Overland is part of the Ritenour School District, the OHS displays memorabilia from the district.

The two historical societies with homes we visited could not be more different. Webster Groves is a large, prosperous town with a lot of privileged residents, while Overland in North County is a small, working class municipality. However, both have residents who are interested in history and actively work to promote its preservation. I find this heartening and I salute them!

In other news, I stayed after church again to help set up for VBS and to have a tour of the campus so I will know where I am going on Monday. There were over a hundred volunteers–men, women, teenagers! My dread was somewhat assuaged, but I tell you, I am kind of freaking out. At first I was just worried about being too old and decrepit to do this, but now I am wondering if I am even up to leading my eight ten-year olds in devotion time. I tell myself that until recently I was the director of an institute at a large university for many years, and I can handle this…but can I?

Well, we’ll find out.

*Hymn # 457, Robert Robinson, 1758

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May 17, 2022

“And the little hills rejoice on every side”*

by chuckofish

Truly this is the most beautiful time of year to be in flyover country. Everything is blooming.

And the grass is green. However, pollen is also at a peak, but what ho, who am I to complain?

During the Covid lockdown, I started to “worship” via Zoom at the Episcopal Church in Charlottesville, Virginia and to follow their rector’s daily devotional. Even though I have since left that denomination for good, I still read Paul Walker’s daily devotional. Yesterday he had something interesting to say:

Unfortunately, I don’t think everyone has two journals. There are a lot of people (even people I am fairly close to) who are only concerned with their Clark journal. But time’s a-wasting! The night is far spent…we need to attend to our Lewis journal. Who are you? What do you believe?

This is helpful from the late great David Powlison. “Your true identity is who God says you are. You will never discover who you are by looking inside yourself or listening to what others say. The Lord gets the first word because he made you. He gets the daily word because you live before his face. He gets the last word because he will administer your final ‘comprehensive life review.’”

*Psalms 65: 12

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March 22, 2022

“But my heart is always standing on its tripod, ready for the next arrow”*

by chuckofish

The Florida room is open for business! Come on over!

In the meantime, today we remember Jonathan Edwards who died on this day in 1758. His words resonate today.

Though Christian fortitude appears in withstanding and counteracting the enemies that are without us; yet it much more appears in resisting and suppressing the enemies that are within us; because they are our worst and strongest enemies and have greatest advantage against us. The strength of the good soldier of Jesus Christ appears in nothing more than in steadfastly maintaining the holy calm, meekness, sweetness, and benevolence of his mind, amidst all the storms, injuries, strange behavior, and surprising acts and events of this evil and unreasonable world.

Jonathan Edwards, The Religious Affections

Today also marks the 88th anniversary of the first Masters Tournament in 1934 (held March 22-25) at Augusta National Golf Club in Augusta, Georgia. The winner was Horton Smith who hailed originally from Springfield, Missouri. He won the event with a 20-foot birdie putt at the 17th hole (now the 8th hole), and finished at 284 (−4), one stroke ahead of runner-up Craig Wood. Smith served in the U.S. Army Air Forces during WWII. After the war, he became the golf pro at the Detroit Golf Club in Michigan, where he remained until his death. The Masters is coming up April 7, so stay tuned.

We also wish a happy birthday to William Shatner (1931), Orrin Hatch (1934) and Billy Collins (1941).

And a shout-out to daughter #2 and Baby Katie who are on spring break.

*Billy Collins, Aimless Love–read the poem here.

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March 10, 2022

When the morning stars sang together

by chuckofish

Recently I read a quote on Instagram that said something to the effect that you can’t believe in the sovereignty of God and be anxious every time you face something unexpected or that you can’t control.

This is true. Take a deep breath and pray, “I believe. Help thou mine unbelief.” (Mark 9:24)

This is also scary. And this. Mark Zuckerberg is not God, and “…when we try to deify ourselves, what pathetic creations we make!  What pathetic gods we turn out to be!” No kidding.

I am really trying to wean myself off of my computer. This means actually reading more actual books. Every morning I start my day by reading the Bible–if I can keep it up, I’ll read the whole Bible in 2022. Yesterday I read Job 38.

4 “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?
Tell Me, if you have understanding.

5 Who determined its measurements?
Surely you know!
Or who stretched the line upon it?

6 To what were its foundations fastened?
Or who laid its cornerstone,

7 When the morning stars sang together,
And all the sons of God shouted for joy?

8 “Or who shut in the sea with doors,
When it burst forth and issued from the womb;

9 When I made the clouds its garment,
And thick darkness its swaddling band;

10 When I fixed My limit for it,
And set bars and doors;

11 When I said, ‘This far you may come, but no farther,
And here your proud waves must stop!’

12 Have you commanded the morning since your days began,
And caused the dawn to know its place,

13 That it might take hold of the ends of the earth,
And the wicked be shaken out of it?

Read the whole chapter here. And relax–God is in control.

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March 3, 2022

For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen

by chuckofish

Well, the world is apparently going to hell in a hand-basket, but the weather has been nothing to complain about here in flyover country. Yesterday the temperature soared to over 80 degrees. In fact, we broke the record high on Wednesday of 79 from 1992. (Temperatures are expected to be about 30 degrees cooler today, but yesterday was beautiful.)

(Don’t you feel better after watching ol’ Gordon MacRae? Truly, I did.)

I felt moved to get out of the house and I walked around the pond at our local park. A breath of fresh air and the sun on your face does wonders for your spirit.

Yes, the ice is gone. The crocus (croci?) are blooming in Don’s yard…

…but they have just barely poked through in mine. However, the Christmas cactus is blooming anew. How about that?

Well, Ash Wednesday has come and gone. There were no pancakes for moi this year. No ashes. I did receive a letter from the Bishop of the diocese of Missouri asking for money. It was addressed to “Dear Siblings in Christ,” because, you know, we don’t have brothers and sisters in this diocese anymore. That would be too gender normative. The bishop needs money to “accomplish positive change.” Good luck with that.

I am very grateful for Anne Kennedy and her blog posts. She reads the New York Times so I don’t have to and she responds to their articles so I don’t have to. Here she is responding to their article about Ash Wednesday and Lent. “I’m so sorry, but I must say it once more with tears—you are not a Christian if you don’t believe in Jesus, and one of the markers of your belief, the fruit, if you will, is that you earnestly desire to be in church with other people who believe. There is no ‘unchurched Christian faithful.’ That is not a thing…” Read the whole post.

I watched a good movie (which I had never seen) on TCM–The Naked City (1948). It is an American film noir directed by Jules Dassin, starring Barry Fitzgerald and Don Taylor as police detectives in the 10th precinct of New York City. Shot entirely on location in NYC, it depicts the police investigation that follows the murder of a young model.

After years of devotion to NYPD Blue and Law and Order, it was fascinating to watch this movie, which certainly blazed the trail for later TV crime dramas. It won the Academy Award for black and white cinematography and for editing, and rightly so. It was very well done and the final scenes leading up to the denouement on the Williamsburg Bridge are very exciting. For anyone who has spent any time in NYC, it is a fascinating picture. Here’s a blog post that shows all the film locations and what they look like currently. It was also fun to notice several actors in uncredited parts who later came to prominence in movies and on TV: Paul Ford, James Gregory, Arthur O’Connell, David Opatoshu, John Randolph, as well as Yiddish icon Molly Picon.

Well, it’s back to Leviticus for me. Enjoy your Thursday!

For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us.

2 Cor. 1:20
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February 24, 2022

“I’m only a sinner saved by Grace”*

by chuckofish

In the past week I have had my annual follow-up appointments with my oncologist, surgeon and radiologist, along with an extra bonus dentist appointment. Add to that various tests and lab visits and you have a fun month. Ah, February. Needless to say, I will be happy to move on to March!

I watched the movie Something of Value (1957) on TCM the other night, which I had not seen in many years. I had read the book by Robert C. Ruark many years ago as well. The subject still resonates.

The poster misses the point as usual

The movie takes place in British colonial Kenya during the Mau Mau uprising (1952-1960) and centers on two friends, Peter (Rock Hudson) and Kimani (Sidney Poitier), who end up on opposite sides of the conflict. Written and directed by Richard Brooks, it tells a balanced story and does not take sides. For 1957, it is pretty stark and violent. My favorite character was Rock Hudson’s father, Henry MacKenzie, who says, when asked if he is afraid, “I fear nothing but the wrath of God.” To feel that in your heart and know it to be true is a great thing, whether you are facing marauding Mau Mau rebels or oncologists.

In other news, it is time for the annual Mardi Gras parade this weekend and once again, I could care less. But it is a Big Deal in our flyover city.

Literally my idea of Hell

I wish all those small businesses down in Soulard well, but oh mylanta.

This is an interesting article: “The information superhighway is a dead end, almost always leading us to rely more on itself than making us independent thinkers. It does not lead to wisdom.”

Sam Bush has some good ideas in this article: “There’s one catch to this furious attempt to be unique: trying not to be like everyone else has paradoxically become the definition of conformity. We may each be individual snowflakes, but, once we start to accumulate, we begin to look the same.”

I always thought that in order to survive childhood we need to think we’re special. That’s what good parents make us feel. But it is a sign of growing up when we figure out that we are not special. (Some people never figure that out.) Indeed, life is one long lesson in humility, right? And to be a Christian, one must be humble. “He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30)

Well, we are experiencing yet another “wintery mix” event. Time perhaps to listen to some Del McCoury, age 83, who has a new album! Here’s a link to listen to a couple of his new songs.

I guess Tuesday was Twins Day–I missed that–but our twins were twins-ing per usual…Aren’t they grown up?

*James M. Gray (1851-1935)

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