dual personalities

At least that way you’ll be armed if you meet a bear.

Son #2 made it to Kodiak Island after a long, arduous journey full of delays and bumpy rides. They arrived dramatically in a raging storm and without their luggage (naturally), but the skies soon cleared to a stunning blue, and voila — the view from their apartment.

Here is my son contemplating the view.

We note the long-sleeved flannel shirt with envy — I gather the highs on Kodiak barely broke 60 last week. Ah, for those rugged northern climes! Lest we give in to flights of fancy, let us remember what Jack London wrote:

“A vast silence reigned over the land. The land itself was a desolation, lifeless, without movement, so lone and cold that the spirit of it was not even that of sadness. There was a hint in it of laughter, but of laughter more terrible than any sadness-a laughter that was mirthless as the smile of the Sphinx, a laughter cold as the frost and partaking of the grimness of infallibility. It was the masterful and incommunicable wisdom of eternity laughing at the futility of life and the effort of life. It was the Wild, the savage, frozen-hearted Northland Wild.”

Nature is not friendly. In the 1950s a Kodiak hunting guide found a broken gun, a human skull, and a bear skull all next to each other.

There’s a story in those bones, but if you don’t want to write it yourself, you might dip into some arctic literature.

For those determined to get out there and hike the wilderness despite the risks, here are some basic rules of thumb:

1. Before you go, educate yourselves about the conditions: weather, terrain, bears, risks…
2. Be sure to sign in with park rangers.
3. Prepare for the unexpected. Weather can change rapidly, so wear layers and always carry a hat, gloves, and rain gear.
4. Carry a charged cell phone. Sure, you may get out of range, but better to have it than not to have it. Don’t use up your batteries taking too many photos.
5. Don’t forget matches, flints or other fire-starting equipment. If you get stranded, you may need to start a campfire to keep warm and signal rescuers.
6. Carry emergency rations: energy bars, nuts, fruit and water.
7. Carry a good hunting knife and/or a gun, especially if you are going into a really remote area (hey, I read that terrible story about the bear hunting a guy on a glacier where there was nowhere to hide. It would have been much shorter, and the bear’s death more humane, if the backpacker had packed a rifle).
8. Bug spray!
9. Proper footwear and blister treatment are essential.
10. Don’t forget a well-stocked first aide kit, including sunblock, butterfly bandages, antibiotic ointment, and a good emergency care manual. And don’t forget an Epipen if you need one!

Preparation may not save you from bad luck, but it will reduce the likelihood that you’ll have it. I am comforted by the sure knowledge that my experienced hikers take all the right precautions, have good equipment, and a healthy respect for their environment!

*Jack London

 Some rich people have no shame.

Owning a shark can be “a power thing,” said Joe Caparatta, owner of Manhattan Aquariums and Unique Corals, who has owned catsharks and epaulette sharks in the past. “The shark is the most feared animal in the waters. To have one as a pet kind of puts you above it.”

And here’s an article that epitomizes a lot of what’s wrong and mixed-up about 21st century America. I mean really:

Create a time-capsule altar

Gather objects that have symbolized your journey through 2017 — no matter how mundane or crazy you think they are — and place them in a position of prominence (on a vanity, by your front door, on your dashboard). Dress them up magically (go wild with sparkles, flower petals, candles), and as you pass by each day, think of how far you’ve journeyed, and how the pieces of this object story might shift in the coming year.

Ugh.

But there is hope. Do you visit this website: The Babylon Bee, your “trusted source for Christian Satire”? It makes me laugh and it is a good thing to be able to laugh at yourself.

I thought this piece, actually written by an Episcopal priest, was good:

The reason the message of Christ spread so rapidly among the poor and outcast of the first century (and every century) is not that it promised to fix all injustice or “speak truth to power,” but that it offered the hope of salvation. Even if this life involves unjust suffering, even if we cannot make your life better, we have confidence in a God who raises the dead, forgives sin, and transforms evil into good.

And remember:

We’ve had a warm, excessively muggy week, and I can’t find anything to read that doesn’t seem a letdown after Donna Tartt and Amor Towles. To top it off, I have managed to break the TV, although I can still watch DVDs and access Netflix and Amazon. Go figure. Anyway, I have found that when I’m feeling dull nothing is better for my mood than a good dose of baking. If I’m too lazy to do it myself — which is to say most of the time — I watch a few episodes of the Great British Baking Show with Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood (those names!).

The contestants (usually) produce the most impossibly beautiful baking, and they do it without being mean to each other or having loud meltdowns (quiet tears are acceptable). The tension all comes from the time-limits and the difficulty level.

On the GBBS they don’t need to yell; a simple “it’s massively under-proved” or “Oh look, it’s still raw” is enough to deflate the most confidant baker. Whenever I bake now, I find myself criticizing the result: the blueberries sank to the bottom of the cake; the pastry was soggy, or the dough too sticky. I’ve certainly never produced anything like this:

Though I fancy myself a better baker than cook, I’ve never been a great one for eating cakes and cookies, preferring to take my sugar in candy form. Not anymore. The show has given me a hankering for cake, and apparently I’m not alone. According to the New York Times, “In the six years it has been on the air, “The Great British Baking Show” has fundamentally changed the way the British regard baking, dessert-eating and even their own culture of sweets. The “Bake Off Effect,” as it is known, has manifested in a resurgence in home baking, a noticeable increase in the quality of baked goods sold all over the country, and a growing number of people pursuing careers as professional pastry chefs.” It was, after all, the most popular show on British TV (now that it has moved from the BBC to become the Great British Bake-off, and Mary Berry has left the show, I’m not sure how it ranks).

Yesterday I made this simple blueberry cake in honor of the fact that two sons are home this weekend.

This is the web site’s photo

I chose the recipe because I had all the ingredients at hand. My cake wouldn’t have won “best baker” on GBBS; the bottom was not soggy, but the blueberries were not evenly distributed and it was a slightly over-cooked. I covered the error by roasting the rest of the blueberries and using them as a sauce. A touch of whipped cream topped things off. I did not take photos, but the family gobbled it up, so I’ll count it as a success.

I am heading back to the kitchen to whip something up for a pot-luck we’re attending this afternoon. Don’t tell, but I’m going to use a boxed brownie mix!

*Mervyn Peake, Gormenghast

Photos of the Great British Baking Show recovered from Google Images.