dual personalities

Tag: spirituality

Like a tree planted by streams of water*

by chuckofish

My weekend was a quiet one, especially compared with last weekend. Since I was still recovering from a cold (or whatever), I didn’t do much. Daughter #1 came over while Mr. Smith was being groomed on Friday and we went to Hobby Lobby. After we picked him up we enjoyed Happy Hour at my house, which has become somewhat of a routine (a good one.)

I did very little on Saturday, but watched the PGA tour on TV. I’m so happy to see Scottie back on top. The OM and I watched The Boys in the Boat (2023) on Prime and enjoyed it. It is based on the fantastic (true) story of the University of Washington J.V. crew team that beat the Ivy League elite teams for a spot on the 1936 US Olympic team. I read the book back in 2015.

(The blond kid really reminded me of my nephew Foster throughout the movie.)

The film, directed by George Clooney, is well done, but lacks a certain spark that would have made it a great movie. I know I sound like a broken record but back in the day Michael Curtiz or Howard Hawks or John Ford would have known how to supply that spark. For one thing, you don’t learn much about any of the guys on the crew team except for the hero Joe Rantz (Callum Turner). In a sport where all eight members of the team must move in unison, it is a mistake to make them all invisible except for 2 or 3. Also, the coxswain was an integral part of the team and you don’t get to know that really until the end. It just fell a little flat to me. Too bad, because it is such a great story! Read the book!

It was good to be back in church after a week away when we were out of town. We had a guest preacher, a church member who is on the faculty at Covenant Theological Seminary up the road. Our pastor introduced him by reciting his impressive CV and also by mentioning that once in a meeting J.I. Packer had conceded a point to him. Everyone laughed–Presbyterian humor. Anyway, it was a good sermon on Psalm One.

After church there was a meeting for VBS volunteers–zut alors!

They had me with the first graders, and I was, like, no way, José ! They switched me to 4/5th graders. Okay, then. They can at least go to the bathroom by themselves.

Well, I have a week to get my head straight with this.

*Psalm 1

An habitation of dragons

by chuckofish

Last night as I awakened as usual at 4:15 a.m. (why?), I reached over to my bedside table and picked up The Mortification of Sin by the Puritan John Owen. (I am not ashamed to say the edition I have is abridged and “made easy to read” by Richard Rushing.) You may laugh and say, well, that must have put you back to sleep à toute vitesse, but actually I read for about an hour.

As you know, John Owen (1616 – 1683) was an English Noncorformist church leader, theologian, and academic administrator at the University of Oxford. He was also an aide and chaplain to Oliver Cromwell. The Mortification of Sin grew out of a series of sermons he preached while serving as Dean of Christ Church and Vice-Chancellor of Oxford. 

Let, then, thy soul by faith be exercised with such thoughts and apprehensions as these: “I am a poor, weak creature; unstable as water, I cannot excel. This corruption is too hard for me, and is at the very door of ruining my soul; and what to do I know not. My soul is become as parched ground, and an habitation of dragons. I have made promises and broken them; vows and engagements have been as a thing of nought. Many persuasions have I had that I had got the victory and should be delivered, but I am deceived; so that I plainly see, that without some eminent succour and assistance, I am lost, and shall be prevailed on to an utter relinquishment of God. But yet, though this be my state and condition, let the hands that hang down be lifted up, and the feeble knees be strengthened. Behold, the Lord Christ, that hath all fulness of grace in his heart, all fulness of power in his hand, he is able to slay all these his enemies. There is sufficient provision in him for my relief and assistance. He can take my drooping, dying soul and make me more than a conqueror.

Heady stuff, I know, but far superior to scrolling on your phone in the middle of the night. Sinclair Ferguson says, yes, read John Owen on the mortification of sin, but turn to your Scriptures first, and that is good advice. I am currently reading the Psalms in my reading-the-Bible-in-a-year plan. The Psalms never disappoint–especially in the dark recesses of the night.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me
    and delivered me from all my fears.

–Psalm 34:4

And here’s good news: Epic, Tim Challies’ video series about his round-the-world three-year journey, spanning multiple continents and some of the most unusual places in the world, is available and free to watch on YouTube. In it he searches for thirty-three carefully selected objects that help us understand the long and complicated history of Christianity. I watched the first episode where he travels to Jerusalem and Rome and the second where he goes to England. In that one he visits the cemetery where John Bunyan and John Owen are buried. I really enjoyed both episodes. I hope you do too.

Oh, and the cicadas have arrived. I had to sweep a lot of shells off the front porch!

Have a good day! If the weather allows, get outside and chuck a ball around.

Auld lang syne

by chuckofish

It was a rainy, busy weekend. I went to two of the five (!) scheduled reunion events and I enjoyed myself. However, I reached my level of introvert overload very quickly and baled pretty early both times.

The highlight of my weekend was when my two oldest friends…

…came over to my house for lunch on Saturday and we gabbed away for three hours and laughed til we cried. I’m not sure if we lived up to Saint Paul’s direction to “older women” to be “reverent in behavior” and “not slanderers”, but at least we were not drinking. (Titus 2:3) We did not talk about the distant past, but about other more important things. We agreed that it is, indeed, the small things that bring us joy. We are happy to be alive and kickin’ and do not worry about being skinny and wearing false eyelashes. We’re glad to have the same husbands we started out with and children that still talk to us.

At church on Sunday we had another really wonderful class on Stories as Apologetics–this week on J.R.R. Tolkien and the problem of evil in the LOTR trilogy. Our leader talked about Boethian’s view of Evil vs. The Manichaean (Gnostic) view of Evil and how Good seems to be to be absent in LOTR but isn’t. It is like being back in college for an hour a week. Our sermon was on Titus 2:1-10 and I felt convicted (see above) of my sin and lack of self control, which I readily admit is a good thing.

Daughter #1 came over on Sunday afternoon and we drank a margarita in honor of Cinco de Mayo and ate the guacamole that the OM had made for the church Pig Roast on Saturday. Unfortunately, the Pig Roast had to be moved inside because of rain. (We skipped it.)

I watched Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017) with the Rock, Kevin Hart and Jack Black. It is hilarious. No bad language, minimal vulgarity, a clever plot, and good lessons about teamwork and using your gifts–what more can you ask for?

Also, I love these pics of little Lottie playing against 10-year olds! You go, girl!

…and the bud too…

What a badass.

Have a good Monday!

And like Goliath they’ll be conquered

by chuckofish

In my daily Bible reading I have been working through 1 and 2 Samuel and the story of David who I don’t have to tell you is pretty great. Everyone knows the story of David, the shepherd boy who fought the giant Philistine, Goliath, who had been ridiculing the Israelites for forty days, daring one of them to fight him. Everyone thinks David is crazy when he says he’ll fight Goliath. But do you remember what David said to Saul?

But David said to Saul, “Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, 35 I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. 36 Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. 37 The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.”

–I Samuel 17: 34-37

This is David’s attitude throughout his life and it is a good attitude. Later in II Samuel 22 he spoke to the Lord the words of a song he wrote when the Lord delivered him from the hand of his enemies. He also wrote a Psalm about it: Psalm 18.

The Lord lives, and blessed be my rock, and exalted be my God, the rock of my salvation. (II Samuel 22:47)

I’m not sure where I was going with this except to say that daily Bible reading is quite an encouragement to me and I highly recommend it.

Along these same lines, this is a good article about Jesus as our shepherd and why he carries a rod. “Numbered by Jesus, we’re led by Jesus; led by Jesus, we’re protected by Jesus; and protected by Jesus, we’re comforted by Jesus.”

And God love him, here’s Bob:

And they’ll raise their hands
Sayin’, “We’ll meet all your demands”
But we’ll shout from the bow, “Your days are numbered”
And like Pharoah’s tribe
They’ll be drowned in the tide
And like Goliath, they’ll be conquered

P.S. I always liked the Bernini David best (see above).

A few postcards from the weekend

by chuckofish

The OM and I made it Mahomet and back again–an easy peasy drive across the Illinois prairie.

We had absolutely fabulous weather–beautiful blue skies and not too windy.

We celebrated a couple of birthdays and walked around the neighborhood. We drove through the lovely Lake of the Woods Forest Preserve along the corridor of the Sangamon River, which is practically next door to daughter #1’s house. I am looking forward to visiting the Museum of the Grand Prairie on a future visit. We had dinner in Champaign, but mostly we did a lot of sitting outside, soaking up and frolicking in the sun.

Say cheese! Photogenic ladies

Unfortunately the boy was not around to take wonderful blog photos, so this is the best I can do. I didn’t even get a picture of the birthday girl. C’est la vie.

We had a wonderful time, but you know I’m always happy to cross the river and see the Arch and come home.

I watched the Masters Sunday afternoon. Scottie won! (And Ida got a popsicle!)

And here’s this to start your week off right:

My Shepherd will supply my need:
Jehovah is His Name;
In pastures fresh He makes me feed,
Beside the living stream.
He brings my wandering spirit back
When I forsake His ways,
And leads me, for His mercy’s sake,
In paths of truth and grace.

When I walk through the shades of death
His presence is my stay;
One word of His supporting grace
Drives all my fears away.
His hand, in sight of all my foes,
Doth still my table spread;
My cup with blessings overflows,
His oil anoints my head.

The sure provisions of my God
Attend me all my days;
O may Thy house be my abode,
And all my work be praise.
There would I find a settled rest,
While others go and come;
No more a stranger, nor a guest,
But like a child at home.

Isaac Watts, 1719

He rose

by chuckofish

It is Good Friday and it is time to get serious.

Christmas has a large and colorful cast of characters including not only the three principals themselves, but the angel Gabriel, the innkeeper, the shepherds, the heavenly host, the three Wise Men, Herod, the star of Bethlehem, and even the animals kneeling in the straw. In one form or another we have seen them represented so often that we would recognize them anywhere. We know about the birth in all its detail as well as we know about the births of ourselves or our children, maybe more so. The manger is as familiar as home. We have made a major production of it, and as minor attractions we have added the carols, the tree, the presents, the cards. Santa Claus, Ebenezer Scrooge, and so on. With Easter it is entirely different.

The Gospels are far from clear as to just what happened. It began in the dark. The stone had been rolled aside. Matthew alone speaks of an earthquake. In the tomb there were two white-clad figures or possibly just one. Mary Magdalen seems to have gotten there before anybody else. There was a man she thought at first was the gardener. Perhaps Mary the mother of James was with her and another woman named Joanna. One account says Peter came too with one of the other disciples. Elsewhere the suggestion is that there were only the women and that the disciples, who were somewhere else, didn’t believe the women’s story when they heard it. There was the sound of people running, of voices. Matthew speaks of “fear and great joy.” Confusion was everywhere. There is no agreement even as to the role of Jesus himself. Did he appear at the tomb or only later? Where? To whom did he appear? What did he say? What did he do?

It is not a major production at all, and the minor attractions we have created around it — the bunnies and baskets and bonnets, the dyed eggs — have so little to do with what it’s all about that they neither add much nor subtract much. It’s not really even much of a story when you come right down to it, and that is of course the power of it. It doesn’t have the ring of great drama. It has the ring of truth. I f the Gospel writers had wanted to tell it in a way to convince the world that Jesus indeed rose from the dead, they would presumably have done it with all the skill and fanfare they could muster. Here there is no skill, no fanfare. They seem to be telling it simply the way it was. The narrative is as fragmented, shadowy, incomplete as life itself. When it comes to just what happened, there can be no certainty. That something unimaginable happened, there can be no doubt.

The symbol of Easter is the empty tomb. You can’t depict or domesticate emptiness. You can’t make it into pageants and string it with lights. It doesn’t move people to give presents to each other or sing old songs. It ebbs and flows all around us, the Eastertide. Even the great choruses of Handel’s Messiah sound a little like a handful of crickets chirping under the moon.

He rose. A few saw him briefly and talked to him. If it is true, there is nothing left to say. If it is not true, there is nothing left to say. For believers and unbelievers both, life has never been the same again. For some, neither has death. What is left now is the emptiness. There are those who, like Magdalen, will never stop searching it till they find his face.

~Frederick Buechner, originally published in Whistling in the Dark 

Hallelujah! Sure, we’ll get dressed up and go to church and cook a big brunch and set the table with the good china. But let’s just take a moment, shall we?

And this is interesting–C.S. Lewis admired this play by Dorothy Sayers so much that he re-read it every year during Holy Week. (He re-read things too.) I have never read it, but I think I will.

God was executed by people painfully like us, in a society very similar to our own…by a corrupt church, a timid politician, and a fickle proletariat led by professional agitators.

–Dorothy Sayers

Happy Easter. Christ is risen indeed.

(The painting is The Disciples Peter and John Running to the Sepulchre on the Morning of the Resurrection by the Swiss artist Eugène Burnand, 1898.)

Tuesday musings

by chuckofish

Yesterday I received my Williams College Alumni Magazine–the one with the class notes–and I took a look. I always used to enjoy reading the class notes of the really old guys, the WWII vets, but they are mostly all gone now. So I checked on the class notes with the people I know, who graduated in the 1970s, expecting the usual list of exotic travel destinations and ski and golf outings. Those were there but also quite a few quadruple by-pass operations and cancer diagnoses. Lots of grandchildren, but also news from those still waiting to be grandparents. I sensed the mood was not quite the usual upbeat drumbeat of the privileged 1%-ers.

And then there was one guy I knew back in the day who mused about why he is continuing to work full time:

Amongst my cohort of docs, retirement is the hot topic. I have pushed on; throttling back to a degree and adopting a little ‘fire me and make my day’ attitude…Tapering and keeping a little income flowing now seems right. Packing away my geriatrics skills, simply quitting work, makes me feel somewhat selfish. Am I rejecting the gift of work with selfish intent or battle fatigue? I await direction from God or physical incapacity. Will I miss out on the bucket-list life by keeping on? I don’t see it that way. If today is my last day, I’ll carry a heart of thanks.

Well, well. And well said, sir.

(This is not to say I don’t understand the desire to retire. I myself am retired and, yes, still feeling some battle fatigue. But I get what he’s saying.)

It seems appropriate to remind ourselves of this famous sermon by John Piper: Don’t waste your life!

May I hold forth the way of Jesus
  with my temper as well as my tongue,
  with my life as well as my lips.
May I say to all I meet,
  I am journeying towards the Lord’s given place,
  come with me for your good.

–Valley of Vision

The gentle ranks of the meek

by chuckofish

Signs of spring are everywhere. Soon it will be time to clean up the Florida room and move all my plants. Some of them are getting to be rather large.

But we mustn’t get ahead of ourselves. We’re bound to have some more cold temperatures and maybe some more snow. One thing I have managed to learn over the years is to take one day at a time and enjoy its blessings.

As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.

Genesis 8:22

We haven’t heard from Anne for awhile, so here’s this. She reads all the things and is on X, formerly twitter, so I don’t have to be. She is brilliant and I am grateful. “[Madi is] screwed because she was born into a world where breakdancing was a thing, and worse, people following their hearts was the highest and best good. Her wretched father should have been a plowman with no better options. Madi herself should have been allowed to have servants and write a hefty amount of poetry. And all the people who walk across my parking lot should have been allowed to go to a store that figured out the through line between the self-checkout line and the bottom line.”

A glowing coal at my heart

by chuckofish

We’re halfway through February and spring is in the air. But don’t be fooled–winter is still here and it will turn cold again. And that’s okay. The end of winter is in sight. Baseball season is just around the corner.

Tonight we finish Pilgrim’s Progress in our community group. I really cannot recommend this great book enough. You will recall that John Bunyan wrote the book while he was in prison–he was imprisoned for twelve years because he was a nonconformist preacher (meaning not licensed by the state church). That he knew his Bible throughly is evident on every page. Charles Spurgeon famously said that Bunyan “is a living Bible! Prick him anywhere; his blood is Bibline, the very essence of the Bible flows from him.”

Coming to the end of the book was very moving as several beloved characters come to the end of their journey and cross over the River of Death to the Celestial City.

The River has been a Terror to many, yea the thoughts of it also have oft frightened me. But now methinks I stand easie, my Foot is fixed upon that, upon which the Feet of the Priests that bare the Ark of the Covenant stood while Israel went over this Jordan. The Waters indeed are to the Palate bitter, and to the Stomack cold; yet the thoughts of what I am going to, and of the Conduct that waits for me on the other side, doth lie as a glowing Coal at my Heart.

I see my self now at the end of my Journey, my toilsome Days are ended. I am going now to see the Head that was Crowned with Thorns, and that Face that was spit upon, for me.

I have formerly lived by Hear-say, and Faith, but now I go where I shall live by sight, and shall be with him, in whose Company I delight my self.

I have loved to hear my Lord spoken of, and wherever I have seen the print of his Shoe in the Earth, there I have coveted to set my Foot too.

–Mr. Stand-fast

Here are ten things you should know about The Pilgrim’s Progress.

And here’s a Valentine bonus pic of Ida B. in a red jumper made by her great-grandmother.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

(Lamentations 3:22-23)

The earthly tent we live in*

by chuckofish

We are off to another unseasonably warm week and I am not complaining.

I am slowly putting my house back together. I keep finding baby dolls and plastic cups and packages of wet wipes in odd places that remind me of our sweet visitors. Luckily now I do not have to pack up a box of odds and ends to send back to them but can wait until they/we visit again.

Also note: the amaryllis is blooming again. They are truly amazing plants.

I also caught up on my daily Bible reading. I was a tad behind.

Q: How is the word to be read and heard, that it may become effectual to salvation? 

A: That the word may become effectual to salvation, we must attend thereunto with diligence, preparation, and prayer, receive it with faith and love, lay it up in your hearts, and practice it in your lives. 

Q: If the matter we read or hear be good, is not that enough for our salvation? 

A: No, God requires that the word be read and heard in a due manner, and the manner of hearing is of special regard with God; Luke 8:18. Take heed therefore how ye hear. 

–John Flavel (1627-91)

Here are a few good things to read…This is an interesting article about whether we should pray the “vengeance” psalms. The boy and I were just discussing the issue of vengeance and how it is right “to leave room for the wrath of God.” However, I am all for reading those psalms which some find offensive, especially Psalm 58. The Anglicans, no surprise, exiled the imprecatory prayers from the psalter after WWI.

Do you indeed speak righteousness, you silent ones?
Do you judge uprightly, you sons of men?
2 No, in your heart you work wickedness;
You weigh out the violence of your hands in the earth.

3 The wicked are estranged from the womb;
They go astray as soon as they are born, speaking lies.
4 Their poison is like the poison of a serpent;
They are like the deaf cobra that stops its ear,
5 Which will not heed the voice of charmers,
Charming ever so skillfully.

6 Break their teeth in their mouth, O God!
Break out the fangs of the young lions, O Lord!
7 Let them flow away as waters which run continually;
When he bends his bow,
Let his arrows be as if cut in pieces.
8 Let them be like a snail which melts away as it goes,
Like a stillborn child of a woman, that they may not see the sun.

9 Before your pots can feel the burning thorns,
He shall take them away as with a whirlwind,
As in His living and burning wrath.
10 The righteous shall rejoice when he sees the vengeance;
He shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked,
11 So that men will say,
“Surely there is a reward for the righteous;
Surely He is God who judges in the earth.”

–Psalm 58

Food for thought. Read the article!

And this is about President Lincoln, the almost-Presbyterian. Very interesting.

And the inimitable Joni Eareckson Tada writes about grumbling.

The Lord be with you and bless you today.

*I Corinthians 5:1