I don’t know about you, but I’ve had just about enough of this. I was about to write that I’ve had a rough week and then I remembered that it is Tuesday. I’ve almost reached this level:

I know I’m not alone in this. You know the feeling when everything puts you irrationally on the brink of an outburst. Oh, the Rice Krispies aren’t on an eye level shelf so I passed them? AND OMG if another motorcycle or car with a thumping base drives by GRRRR. Things like that are really putting me close to the edge. You throw in some work stuff and kablamo Howard Beale is in the house.

I did have to laugh though because while walking to my car this afternoon (I’ve been parking my rental car in the garage at work since I only use it once a week), I passed one of my least favorite reporters in the Missouri press corps.  But I guess my leggings, lack of makeup, and big sunglasses threw him off because he didn’t recognize me. Small joys, am I right?

So, how to come down from the brink of an outburst? Well this song helped me this afternoon.

I was remarking to a co-worker this morning that I feel like all of my conversations with her end with me saying “I just need to accept that I can’t control it.” Of course, we were talking about media narrative, but that sentiment is the crux of this, right? We all feel very out of control. We can’t control where we go. We can’t control what will be on the shelves at the grocery store and what won’t. We can’t even control whether we go to work.

So what are we to do when the chaos in our minds starts taking control? Well, turn our eyes to Jesus. Play some music that brings you joy. Loudly. Do a little dancing. Have a glass of wine. Breathe. And pray about it.

I’m feeling better already.

Happy Birthday to one of our dual personalities, my dear mother! For the past several years, we have celebrated together as I got in the habit of flying home for an April visit. The baby shower in March had already prevented such a plan, but now with a full-blown quarantine, it turns out no one will be able to visit and celebrate together, which is too bad. Let’s at least all comment our happy wishes for the birthday lady, a superlative mother and someone who has had quite a year. Now let’s see if we can turn this one around, shall we?

I had a very low-key weekend. The lowest of keys, truly. I mostly lounged about, moving between bed and the couch (and at one point, a different bed for a change of scenery). I guess I need the rest. I am learning to be less hard on myself when this happens. I didn’t make a to do list this weekend, let alone complete one, and that is OK.

DN has sandwich skills

I did eat a delicious BLT, which is just about the most excitement I had all weekend.

We also watched Notting Hill, a movie I haven’t seen since 2007, right around the start of the last national panic. I can’t remember the exact circumstances, but for some reason, I got to choose a movie to rent, a rare occasion for the youngest child, and I believe my father was having a mental breakdown about the economy. Well, everyone knows that watching a romantic comedy with your father in your teens is horrifying enough. Imagine the horror when my sister and I later realized he had re-watched the DVD several more times over the course of the weekend. Apparently something struck a cord.

We streamed Notting Hill on HBO, where we came across it in a category HBO Go has newly created: the “Comfort Watch.” Remembering that it had clearly comforted the OM in 2007, we thought, well sure. Let’s see if this is pandemic-appropriate.

It was neither good nor bad. Julia Roberts wasn’t all that convincing as a bombshell movie star and Hugh Grant really wasn’t convincing as someone with whom a bombshell movie star would fall in love. (The floppy hair — ye gods!! Then again, DN will look like this in approximately 2 weeks, so I should get used to it.)

We did appreciate the surprise appearance of young Alec Baldwin playing (of course) the jerk-boyfriend for one scene. And in a way, the movie was well-written. It moved swiftly, it wasn’t overly indulgent, and it wrapped up nicely. Maybe there really isn’t anything more comforting than a nineties rom com?

Another week in lock-down has come and gone and I don’t have much to show for it. The DH and I reached the moving furniture phase (or at least I did. He is always accommodating). We moved the little-used stereo from our living room into our family room and took boxes of stuff to our UHaul storage unit. The newly improved house isn’t quite ready for photos, so that will have to wait. In the meantime, I can relate to this:

As usual, I attended several Zoom meetings, including a weekly department “Happy Hour” that I tolerated for about ten minutes. I loath Zoom. Recently, I came across a Zoom-meeting-reaction pie chart on the internet. It was amusing but did not apply to my situation, so I made one of my own:

What would your Zoom chart look like?

Meanwhile, my reading and watching seem to have reached a plateau, which is a nice way of saying that I’m in a rut. I can’t decide what to read and I’ve been binge-watching The Mentalist, a pleasantly average crime show that ran from 2008-2015.

In order to make peace with his tragic past, brilliantly quirky Patrick Jane (Simon Baker) acts as a consultant for the serious crimes unit of CBI (the California Bureau of Investigations). The Mentalist is rather old fashioned in that the main characters are decent people, the plots do not require a million twists, turns and betrayals, and the crimes are not meant to shock or titillate the audience but to show how clever Jane is. There is an overarching uber-plot that involves Jane’s search for Red John, the serial killer who murdered his (Jane’s) wife and child, but most episodes represent individual crime stories. So far — I’m only in season 2 — I have not found that Red John intrudes too much. The show asks very little of its viewers but it is not boring and I can usually manage two episodes before falling asleep.

Before I sign off, I’d like to point you to this week’s Melville Minute, in which son #2 and Vincent Price remind us of the importance of gratitude.  Though I certainly have much to be grateful for, I have to admit that life has taken a turn to the absurd, like something out of Alice and Wonderland:

 Mad Hatter: “Why is a raven like a writing-desk?”
“Have you guessed the riddle yet?” the Hatter said, turning to Alice again.
“No, I give it up,” Alice replied: “What’s the answer?”
“I haven’t the slightest idea,” said the Hatter.

Indeed, I haven’t the slightest idea what anything means, but I’m determined to enjoy it anyway.

Well, one tip is to have a birthday. It was lovely on Tuesday to receive messages from friends and family, open presents, and enjoy flower deliveries for my somewhat surreal 30th birthday. But of course we aren’t all so lucky to celebrate such milestones in quarantine…

So another thing to do is pull out your coffee table books!

DN compiled a huge stack of ours to make a tower for Zoom calls. (We all know that camera angle is very important if you are going to have to stare at your own face for several hours a week.) The stack inspired me to look through a bit of my collection.

Some of the birthday boxes have not yet been tidied…

Reading about the Missouri Botanical Garden

This book is about art and Walt Whitman — I’ve always loved portraits of him

But I never knew there was a bronze cast of his right hand at the Library of Congress!

Nor did I know much about Mondrian’s painting before the color blocking grid paintings

You see, there’s plenty to keep us entertained at home. Personally, I have found it a bit hard to focus on literature, even as I’ve suggested re-reading Moby-Dick and I started The Scarlet Letter in pre-quarantine days. Sheltering in place causes a bit of ADHD, I think. But even I can handle a coffee table book — and learn a thing or two in perusing it!

Well, here we are at Wednesday again. Week five of our social isolation. As my mother wrote yesterday, we had a lovely time over Easter. But, I will admit that my return to my apartment did send me into a downward spiral ending in doldrums.

The limit does not exist when it comes to Simpson screengrabs included in blog posts.

As always, I am trying to focus on finding joy. The advent of a new Lottie mood image (seen in yesterday’s post) got me thinking about earlier Lottie moods. They really cover the gamut of quarantine moods, am I right?

It’s so hard to pick a favorite. And they do make me laugh.

Other things that are making me laugh are funny internet memes like the ones below.

Honestly, if TJ Maxx offered that service I would 100% do it. I miss my trips to TJ Maxx and it makes me laugh that I am not alone in this.

I have found that my contribution to things is usually humor. I can’t really cook (although I can make a margarita). And I’m not great at planning a trip. But I can crack a joke. So unlike the other deep-thinkers who are contributors to this blog, I don’t have a thoughtful quote to add to this today. Hopefully I have brought some lightness into your day. And don’t forget to look around at the flowering trees. They really are incredible this year!

*Edna Krabapple

We have made it through FOUR full weeks of social distancing and teleworking. It feels like a nice round number and that this should be over. We did it! Right? Well, no. We’ve still got a long way to go, it seems. So we will keep on keeping on. As we dual multiple personalities have continued to emphasize, I will look for the little joys I can and focus on being grateful for my home, health, and security. But know that my most frequent emoji continues to be the upside-down-face.

So, a few bits of joy from the weekend…

We signed up for a fruit box, vegetable box, and dairy box (not pictured) from a distributer that normally provides food to restaurants but now allows for consumer orders. We arranged for the pick-up at a random street corner and very nice men placed the boxes in our truck for us! We made pasta with asparagus, lemon, and parmesan cheese for dinner on Saturday and it was delicious.

We moved this sisal rug from the “dining room,” where it never quite fit, to the patio. I think it’s perfect out here, and can’t wait until we can regularly sit outside! Still working on “styling” the empty bookshelf.

I also started a new Longmire mystery, collapsed and recycled a stack of cardboard boxes, vacuumed, and took long good naps. All good things. Throughout the weekend, I enjoyed listening to Kacey Musgraves:

Maybe not the usual fare for this blog, but something a little different. Here’s to a new week — “I ain’t wonder woman” but I’m doing my best!

Easter will be odd this year, what with online services and self-isolation. There won’t be any family get-togethers or shared ham dinners, and there probably won’t be many Easter baskets, but we’ll all make do. My goals involve getting outdoors to look for signs of spring,

and baking a yummy cake, albeit not one this elaborate.

It’s cute, but not very appetizing.

We will attend a short church service via Zoom (and maybe get hacked as a result), but aside from doing no work, I’m not sure how else I can make Easter different from the rest of the week. I guess that’s the point; we should remember Easter every day.

Above all, this self-isolation has made me realize what a cloistered life I lead and how little I miss contact with people outside my very small circle of family and friends. We live in a country where it is assumed that happiness requires a busy social life. The truth is that many of us prefer solitude and only feel comfortable among a select few. Limiting my social circle suits me fine. It may not make for many entertaining blog posts but it does make me happy. Here’s to puttering, thinking and cultivating repose!

Once this pandemic is over and we get back to ‘normal’ I’ll be channeling the comic book guy from the Simpsons (I think I’m beginning to look like him, too):

Have a Happy Easter and remember, solitude does not mean that you are alone in the world.

Come unto me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:20).