dual personalities

but only manages ¡Feliz cumpleaños! (that’s Happy Birthday, I believe”). The community giving tree card, which I chose at random, told me to buy either a “Disney princess” or “Dora” present for a three year old girl. With visions of the dreaded “pink aisle” dancing in my head, I braved Walmart on a Saturday afternoon to find the right gift. As the mother of three boys, I had hitherto managed to avoid the unspeakably awful pepto-bismol pink aisle — let alone the pre-Christmas orgy of pink plastic.

The Disney Princess stuff was completely unsuitable for a three year old. Not only was it all bosomy blonds and tacky shocking pink, but every toy had lots of tiny, swallowable parts. I sought advice from women with small children and was eventually shown the (not very cute, but much more suitable) Dora dolls.

“Aha!” though I. “I’m saved!” Feeling somewhat smug, I finished my shopping and went home. Imagine my chagrin when I discovered that I had purchased the “Happy Birthday” Dora doll, complete with bi-lingual singing! Oh, well, I guess a three year old won’t care, but her poor parent might be a little confused. Better luck next year…