dual personalities

Tag: spirituality

August 8, 2025

Infinite serenity

by chuckofish

Well, it’s Friday again. The summer is winding down…Daughter #2 and her family are in Michigan…

…and the boy and his family are in Oklahoma.

I am looking forward to a quiet weekend after a very busy week. Tonight daughter #1 and I are venturing out to a special lecture by Mark Meynell, a Church of England priest, who is speaking at my church. I’m not sure what to expect, but we’ll see.

O GOD MOST HIGH, MOST GLORIOUS,

The thought of thine infinite serenity
      cheers me,
For I am toiling and moiling, troubled
    and distressed,
  but thou art for ever at perfect peace.
Thy designs cause thee no fear or care
    of unfulfilment,
  they stand fast as the eternal hills.
Thy power knows no bond,
  thy goodness no stint.
Thou bringest order out of confusion,
  and my defeats are thy victories:
The Lord God omnipotent reigneth.
I come to thee as a sinner with cares and sorrows,
  to leave every concern entirely to thee,
  every sin calling for Christ’s precious blood;
Revive deep spirituality in my heart;
Let me live near to the great Shepherd,
  hear his voice, know its tones, follow its calls.
Keep me from deception by causing me to abide
    in the truth,
  from harm by helping me to walk in the power
    of the Spirit.
Give me intenser faith in the eternal verities,
  burning into me by experience the things I know;
Let me never be ashamed of the truth of the gospel,
  that I may bear its reproach,
  vindicate it,
  see Jesus as its essence,
  know in it the power of the Spirit.
Lord, help me, for I am often lukewarm and chill;
  unbelief mars my confidence,
  sin makes me forget thee.
Let the weeds that grow in my soul be cut
    at their roots;
Grant me to know that I truly live only
    when I live to thee,
  that all else is trifling.
Thy presence alone can make me holy, devout,
    strong and happy.
Abide in me, gracious God.

–The Valley of Vision

Have a good weekend! Go to church!

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August 7, 2025

Thursday reflections

by chuckofish

Today we remember John Mason Neale (1818-1866), Anglican hymn writer, who is remembered on the Anglican and Episcopal Church calendars today. He wrote some really good hymns, including one of my favorites, Jerusalem the Golden:

Jerusalem the golden!
With milk and honey blest;
Beneath your contemplation
Sink heart and voice opprest.
I know not, oh! I know not,
What joys await us there,
What radiancy of glory,
What bliss beyond compare.

This is an interesting article about the time a famous photographer came to St. Louis in the summer of 1926 and took pictures. St. Louis hasn’t changed all that much and neither has the weather.

Also this video about spiders from the John 10:10 Project is fascinating.

My grandchildren are all horrified by spiders, but I tell them that most of them are our friends and help keep down the insect population. Their webs are amazing!

In other news, I continue to check things off my to-do list, including selling the OM’s car. 🎉🎉🎉 This is a load off my heavily laden mind.

“Then let us arise and go up to Bethel, so that I may make there an altar to the God who answers me in the day of my distress and has been with me wherever I have gone.” (Gen. 35:3)

Stop and reflect, our faith is strengthened by the difficult things God has brought us through. Trust God in the present as well as for the future. 

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July 28, 2025

They’ll be no quittin’ along the way

by chuckofish

How was your weekend? Mine was pretty quiet despite Mr. Smith visiting. I had dinner with the boy and his family on Friday (pizza night) and that was delightful. I went to one estate sale on Saturday but it was a depressing one–a beautiful old house that had fallen to wrack and ruin, a real Miss Havisham experience. Daughter #1 came by on her way home from Indiana to pick up Mr. Smith and we enjoyed Happy Hour and dinner together.

You may recall that Saturday was the National Day of the Cowboy, one of my favorite days–“recognizing the contributions of cowboys and cowgirls to American culture and heritage.”

I did not celebrate until Sunday when I watched Red River (1948) which is my traditional choice. John Wayne, Montgomery Clift and a slew of great cowboys–the best. “We’re goung to Missouri with 10,000 head…”

The boy dropped the twins off at church with me on Sunday so that he could open his store. They were as good as gold and earned an A+ for their behavior. In fact, the wee bud announced “A+!” at the end of the service. As usual, as we arrived and sat in our pew, I thought it seemed like there weren’t many people. But as soon as the first hymn began, I looked around and the church was full of congregants and their voices rang out. When will I learn that Presbyterians do not arrive early! We sang great hymns and heard a very good sermon on Psalm 21. I left refreshed and restored.

Today I am getting ready to drive up to visit daughter #2 and her prairie family for a few days. I am also babysitting for the twins tonight while their parents go out to celebrate their 13th wedding anniversary.

Bon anniversaire, you guys! L’chaim!

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July 18, 2025

“My last things will be first things”

by chuckofish

 Yesterday was the OM’s birthday. He would have been 70 years old, but he died on June 30th.

He started to get sick around Easter. There were ups and downs–three stays in the hospital and a couple of weeks in a rehab facility in between. By the grace of God all our children were home and were able to see him before he died. He was ready. Our pastor had been by to see him that night and had reminded him: “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.” (John 10:27–29)

I didn’t feel like blogging for a long time, but I am feeling the urge again.

One thing I wanted to comment on was the passing of the great John MacArthur on July 14. Here is John Piper’s tribute. Anne Kennedy’s husband Matt said this:

I am grateful to God for John MacArthur. I remember listening to his sermons in the darkness of an Episcopalian seminary in the late 90s. I’m a cradle Episcopalian. It felt subversive, like smuggling bibles into communist China. But it was light and truth in a hard place. MacArthur’s boldness and unwavering commitment to the scriptures became a model for me that I’ve tried to live up to. Sure, I’m Anglican, so the list of things I disagree with him about isn’t short but the sheer courage of the man and his willingness to speak when others held their tongues….not to mention his deep love for his people, a love that led him to pour himself out from the pulpit Sunday by Sunday until his health failed him, we should honor such men and revere their memories. The world isn’t worthy of them.

I, too, in the dark days of my search for a new church found John MacArthur, along with R.S. Sproul, John Piper, Tim Keller et al. They taught me the true meaning of the Gospel. (Of course, not everyone agrees and some thought of him as “the Wicked Warlock of the West” and didn’t hesitate to call him that. It has always been thus.)

Into paradise may the angels lead you.

And here’s a poem by Seamus Heaney, care of my friend Don:

Mint

It looked like a clump of small dusty nettles

Growing wild at the gable of the house
Beyond where we dumped our refuse and old bottles:
Unverdant ever, almost beneath notice.

But, to be fair, it also spelled promise
And newness in the back yard of our life
As if something callow yet tenacious
Sauntered in green alleys and grew rife.

The snip of scissor blades, the light of Sunday
Mornings when the mint was cut and loved:
My last things will be first things slipping from me.
Yet let all things go free that have survived.

Let the smells of mint go heady and defenceless
Like inmates liberated in that yard.
Like the disregarded ones we turned against
Because we’d failed them by our disregard. 

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May 22, 2025

OPQRSTU I believe God’s word is true*

by chuckofish

I haven’t been doing much besides taking the OM to doctor appointments and labs etc. (also my own doctor appointments and labs etc.) and trying to get him to eat. My second home is Missouri Baptist Hospital.

But I have read some helpful things. “The Bible is immensely practical. It explains life—and really, what other book can make that claim? It tells us about God and also about ourselves. It counsels us on how to live well, and gives perspective far below the surface of our troubles and struggles. It offers hope and the way to deep transformation.”

And when in doubt: Deuteronomy 29:29…

“The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things that are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.“

And here are some thoughts about comfort. “I long to be comforted, but where do I find comfort?”


*From Katie’s pre-school graduation:

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April 21, 2025

Postcards from the weekend

by chuckofish

Daughter #2 and famille made it to town in the driving rain on Saturday morning and then it was party central for the rest of the weekend. What fun! We didn’t get to do any driveway sittin’ or drive the miniature raptor, but the good times still rolled. We celebrated our birthdays…

We had lots of primo cousin time…The twins set a good example in church on Sunday and the prairie girls did great.

We went to the boy’s new house after church and had a fabulous time plus a gourmet lunch served up by daughter #3.

Is that a chocolate Westie?!!

An indoor Easter egg hunt was a big hit!

(Katie’s great-grandmother–after whom she is named–made this English smocked dress, which I wore c. 1964.)

It was a super fun weekend and I am super tired! It will take me a few days to recover!

I did watch the second half of Ben Hur on Sunday night–the perfect end to a perfect weekend.

Bonus: The ensemble at church sang this on Good Friday. I cried.

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April 18, 2025

What is good about Good Friday?

by chuckofish

As a child and, if I’m honest, long after, I always wondered why it wasn’t called Bad Friday. Because, as Randy Alcorn explains, “out of the appallingly bad came what was inexpressibly good. And the good trumps the bad, because though the bad was temporary, the good is eternal.”

So let us today contemplate the great love of Christ in facing the wrath of God for us. A good place to start is by reading Jonathan Edward’s sermon on Christ’s Agony. Originally preached sometime in 1739, Edwards’ sermon provides a deep analysis of Luke 22:44 and Christ’s agonizing prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane. It is really great, but takes a long time to read, so you better get started.

There are two things that render Christ’s love wonderful: 1. That he should be willing to endure sufferings that were so great; and 2. That he should be willing to endure them to make atonement for wickedness that was so great. 

…It was the corruption and wickedness of men that contrived and effected his death; it was the wickedness of men that agreed with Judas, it was the wickedness of men that betrayed him, and that apprehended him, and bound him, and led him away like a malefactor; it was by men’s corruption and wickedness that he was arraigned, and falsely accused, and unjustly judged. It was by men’s wickedness that he was reproached, mocked, buffeted, and spit upon. It was by men’s wickedness that Barabbas was preferred before him. It was men’s wickedness that laid the cross upon him to bear, and that nailed him to it, and put him to so cruel and ignominious a death. This tended to give Christ an extraordinary sense of the greatness and hatefulness of the depravity of mankind.

The picture at the top is “Dogma of the Redemption”; Trinity and Crucifix, Frieze of Angels by John Singer Sargent in the Boston Public Library. At the top of this large half-moon lunette, three crowned figures representing the Holy Trinity share a single red robe, the trim of which bears the Latin word Sanctus, or “Holy,” in repeated gild relief. At center in high plaster relief is the figure of Christ on the cross, flanked by Adam at left and Eve at right. At the base of the cross sits a pelican, considered the sacrificial bird in medieval depictions for its tendency to pluck its own skin in order to provide food for its young when no other nourishment is available. Running along the bottom of the lunette is the Frieze of Angels, figures in primary tones holding symbols of the Passion of Christ, including the spear, pincers, hammer, nails, pillar, scourge, reed, sponge, and crown of thorns.

Side note: the image of a pelican is carved into the front of the pulpit of our church.

Have a blessed Easter. Go to church!

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April 17, 2025

“Forty-one, why did he do that?”

by chuckofish

Well, we are in for some bad weather again–of course, the Easter weekend will be rainy and stormy. So much for egg hunts etc. C’est la vie.

But our zeal will not be dampened!

Beneath the cross of Jesus
I fain would take my stand;
The shadow of a mighty rock
Within a weary land;
A home within the wilderness,
A rest upon the way,
From burns beneath the noontide heat
And burdens of the day.

–Elizabeth Cecilia Douglas Clephane, 1868

We started watching Ben Hur (1959) last weekend and we will finish up this weekend. We are too old and go to bed too early to watch it all at once. But that’s okay. We have seen it so many times, we know it by heart.

“We keep you alive to serve this ship. So row well, and live.”

The familiarity of old films is one of the special pleasures in life. At least for oddballs like me and my family members who enjoy watching and re-watching old movies.

(The twins also got their first look at this classic movie.)

I know we are in a distinct minority here. I know this from the blank looks I receive when I mention an old movie no one else has seen. Sigh.

The other night watching the scene in the galley when Quintus Arrius orders Ben Hur’s shackles to be unlocked before the sea battle and the slave next to him asks him, “Forty-one, why did he do that?” and Judah says, “I don’t know. Once before, a man helped me. I didn’t know why then”…I thought of the times someone has helped me in a somewhat mysterious way. It is, of course, God working “10,000 things in your life every day” and we need to watch for those times. They may not be as obvious as Jesus giving you a drink of water when you are dying of thirst, but maybe they are. Keep watching for them.

In the meantime, watch a (good) old religious movie during Holy Week, check out the budding trees and plants in your yard, look up, pray.

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April 16, 2025

What are you reading?

by chuckofish

I am reading Matthew again in my daily Bible reading. I have just read through the beatitudes and the similitudes and a lot of talk about the law. Following after that, chapter six is all about how to do things right and not like the hypocrites and reminders that “your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” Humility is the watchword of the day. We can never read about that too much, can we?

I am also reading several other books…

…and I actually finished one: The Pale Horse written by Agatha Christie and published in 1961. I have never been much of a Christie fan, but I ran across a mention of this book and I thought, I’ll give it a whirl.

The plot involves a dying woman, Mrs Davis, who gives her last confession to Father Gorman, a Roman Catholic priest, but along with her confession she gives him a list of names and a terrible secret. Before he can take action, however, he is struck dead in the fog. As the police begin to investigate, the main character begins to piece together evidence which points to a dark, occult group. I was pleasantly surprised by the book–it is well written, moves right along and is peopled with likable characters who are well developed and realistic. I enjoyed it so perhaps I will attempt to read another Christie mystery.

I am also reading Tim Keller on the Christian Life by Matt Smethurst for my Community Group. We are going through it chapter by chapter, starting tomorrow. You may recall that Tim Keller has been very influential to me on my spiritual walk. I credit him, along with R.C. Sproul and John Piper, with explaining the gospel to me, with showing me that the Bible is the foundation of the Christian life and with urging me to find a new church.

Boy, am I grateful for his guidance.

Today we also remember Henry Mancini who was born on this day in 1924. Let’s all have a cocktail and toast him tonight.

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April 15, 2025

Olive shoots around your table

by chuckofish

Isn’t it nice to be home?

It is lovely to sit on my own patio…

…and contemplate the lush green grass–which won’t last, I know–

…but it sure is beautiful now! Even on an overcast and cloudy day.

I have a lot on my “to do” list this week what with getting the Review to the printer and the house ready for visitors this weekend. We are going over to the boy and daughter #3’s house for Easter, so at least I don’t have to prepare a big meal. Lottie has told me several times that it is a very special Big Deal that we are coming over for Easter. I am most appreciative. We are also going over to daughter #1’s house for my birthday/daughter #2’s birthday celebration. What a blessing to have my sweet family close at hand!

Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord,
    who walks in his ways!
2 You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands;
    you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you.

3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine
    within your house;
your children will be like olive shoots
    around your table.
4 Behold, thus shall the man be blessed
    who fears the Lord.

5 The Lord bless you from Zion!
    May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem
    all the days of your life!
6 May you see your children’s children!
    Peace be upon Israel!

–Psalm 128

I didn’t get a chance to watch any of the Masters this year, but I was happy that Rory McIlroy finally won. He has had a difficult few years and I’m glad he pulled it together! Golf is such a difficult mind-game. I got a big kick out of 4-year old Katie’s reaction to his win:

AP photo

Here are 40 random pieces of advice from Tim Challies which I like a lot. Such as: “Sing loud in church, especially if you are a man. Don’t be content with mumbling as if it’s somehow embarrassing to have a male voice.” I totally agree!

And remember:

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