spirituality | dual personalities

June 11, 2015

“A good man, full of the Holy Spirit and faith.” *

by chuckofish

Today the Episcopal Church observes the feast day of St. Barnabas, the early Christian fondly nicknamed Son of Encouragement (Acts 4:37). He befriended Saul of Tarsus after his conversion and introduced him to the skeptical leaders back in Jerusalem: “But Barnabas took him, brought him to the apostles, and described for them how on the road he had seen the Lord, who had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had spoken boldly in the name of Jesus.” (Acts 9:27)

After that he and Paul (formerly Saul) undertook several missionary journeys together.

Willem de Poorter’s “St. Paul and Barnabas in Lystra”

Eventually the two disagreed about whether to take Barnabas’ cousin/nephew John Mark, whom Paul thought was a quitter, on another trip. The dispute ended with Paul taking Silas as his companion and journeying through Syria and Cilicia, while Barnabas took John Mark to visit Cyprus.

You see, even back then, church people were arguing and separating and going off in a huff. Why should we be surprised when this happens today?

Acts 15:38

I always liked old Barnabas. I’m sure he had to put up with a lot from Paul, who wasn’t always the easiest person/apostle to get along with. I always thought it was sad that their friendship ended the way it did. I’m sure we can all take a lesson from it.

St. Barnabas, with John his sister’s son,
Set sail for Cyprus; leaving in their wake
That chosen Vessel, who for Jesus’ sake
Proclaimed the Gentiles and the Jews at one.
Divided while united, each must run
His mighty course not hell should overtake;
And pressing toward the mark must own the ache
Of love, and sigh for heaven not yet begun.
For saints in life-long exile yearn to touch
Warm human hands, and commune face to face;
But these we know not ever met again:
Yet once St. Paul at distance overmuch
Just sighted Cyprus; and once more in vain
Neared it and passed;–not there his landing-place.

–Christina Rossetti

*Acts 11:24

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June 8, 2015

The small joys

by chuckofish

“…Hilary enjoyed himself, just as he had enjoyed himself drinking the port. Increasingly, as he got older, he enjoyed things. As his personal humility deepened, so did his awareness of the amazing bounty of God…so many things…The mellow warmth of the port, the pleasure of the game, the sight of Lucilla’s lovely old face in the firelight, and David’s fine hands holding the cards, his awareness of Margaret’s endearing simplicity, and the contentment of the two old dogs dozing on the hearth…One by one the small joys fell. Only to Hilary no joy was small; each had its own mystery, aflame with the glory of God.”

—Pilgrim’s Inn

This weekend I finished re-reading Pilgrim’s Inn by Elizabeth Goudge, an old favorite written in 1948 about an English family after the war. It seems a bit dated now, but I found it quite satisfying and I recommend it. The fact that it and her other novels are still in print tells you something.

The boy and daughter #3 came over for dinner on Sunday night after returning from a week in South Carolina and we heard all about their adventures.

Summer has arrived here in flyover country–we topped 90 degrees on Sunday. But spring was long and lovely and the heat and humidity are inevitable. Why complain?

Here are some fun videos (and here) from the Total Lacrosse YouTube channel featuring the boy testing and touting Warrior equipment.

You going to the gun show?

Have a great Monday!

5 Comments

May 12, 2015

“Are you implying that I am unhinged?”*

by chuckofish

My days do have a certain similarity to them. Anyone with a nine-to-five job knows what that is like.

But they are never exactly the same.

It is a good idea to embrace that thought and to make note of the differences. To notice.

For instance, I saw these beauties while going to a meeting on my flyover campus.

And I watched Murder Ahoy (1964) starring the wonderful Dame Margaret Rutherford as Miss Marple.

She is just the best, isn’t she?

All this examining of my day got me thinking about the consciousness examen prayer “technique” which is a simple prayer that can “deepen our awareness of the presence of God and aid our spiritual growth as His disciples.”

1. Feel the stillness in the darkness and try to find God’s presence in it.

2. Gratefully review the events of the day–the good, the bad, and the ugly.

3. What emotions bubble up as you do this? Pay attention to them.

4. Pick out one event from your day and pray from it.

5. When you are finished praying, close silently with a few minute’s rest in God’s presence.

(Read more here.)

I would have to get a lot more disciplined to do this on a regular basis, but it’s not a bad idea. In the meantime, at least I’ll try to pay attention.

*Miss Marple–definitely not unhinged.

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April 30, 2015

Into your hands

by chuckofish

Here’s a morning prayer to get you going for the day:

I thank You, my heavenly Father, through Jesus Christ, Your dear Son, that You have kept me this night from all harm and danger; and I pray that You would keep me this day also from sin and every evil, that all my doings and life may please You. For into Your hands I commend myself, my body and soul, and all things. Let Your holy angel be with me, that the evil foe may have no power over me. Amen.

–Martin Luther

How do you like that Playmobil Martin Luther? The OM gave him to me for my birthday!

Have a good Thursday.

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April 24, 2015

Kickin’ up dust

by chuckofish

“I have come to believe that by and large the human family all has the same secrets, which are both very telling and very important to tell. They are telling in the sense that they tell what is perhaps the central paradox of our condition—that what we hunger for perhaps more than anything else is to be known in our full humanness, and yet that is often just what we also fear more than anything else. It is important to tell at least from time to time the secret of who we truly and fully are—even if we tell it only to ourselves—because otherwise we run the risk of losing track of who we truly and fully are and little by little come to accept instead the highly edited version which we put forth in hope that the world will find it more acceptable than the real thing. It is important to tell our secrets too because it makes it easier that way to see where we have been in our lives and where we are going. It also makes it easier for other people to tell us a secret or two of their own, and exchanges like that have a lot to do with what being a family is all about and what being human is all about.”

–Frederick Buechner, Telling Secrets

Have a good weekend. Try to find some time to be quiet and think. Turn off the computer. Take a break from social media.

Read some Buechner. Read this.

Watch A Thousand Clowns (1965): Remind yourself why you were “born a human being and not a chair.”

I plan to read some more old letters which I have unearthed in my ongoing basement reorganization/clean-up. Here’s a tidbit from a letter my mother wrote in 1979 when I was in graduate school and my dual personality was at Smith:

It’s around 5 o’clock and I wish you were here to share some sherry and nibblies with me and have a good chat. It’s times like this when I miss you the most. I haven’t had any sherry since you left–it’s the sort of thing I have to have with someone in order to enjoy it.

Some things never change! (Although I have no problem drinking by myself!) Ah, a toast to mothers everywhere who miss their daughters!

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April 16, 2015

Good grief, Charlie Brown

by chuckofish

One of the blogs I follow–Interesting Literature–had a post on 10 Rare But Useful Words Everyone Should Know. The first word is “UHTCEARE“ meaning ‘lying awake before dawn worrying’. I think this should be on my license plate or something. I mean, I do that all the time. All the time.

Do you?

I try to remember the “have no anxiety about anything” commandment:

Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6)

And Jesus was very clear when he said:

Therefore I say unto you, Be not anxious for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than the food, and the body than the raiment? (Matthew 6:25)

And, of course, there is my favorite:

“Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:34)

I know that if I just trust in the Lord, all will be well. But we puritan types have a hard time letting go of taking responsibility.

Well, I guess we can take some solace in the fact that old St. Paul probably had some sleepless nights too:

I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. ¹⁶Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷So then it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. ¹⁸For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. ¹⁹For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. ²⁰Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. (Romans 7: 15-20)

Sigh. In the early morning when I cannot go back to sleep, I sometimes just get up and read.

I am working on being more happy-go-lucky.

Any suggestions?

4 Comments

April 9, 2015

Just saying

by chuckofish

“It was like I was empty. Well, I’m not empty anymore. That’s what’s important, to feel useful in this old world, to hit a lick against what’s wrong for what’s right even though you get walloped for saying that word. Now I may sound like a Bible beater yelling up a revival at a river crossing camp meeting, but that don’t change the truth none. There’s right and there’s wrong. You got to do one or the other. You do the one and you’re living. You do the other and you may be walking around, but you’re dead as a beaver hat.”

– Davy Crockett (John Wayne) in The Alamo (1960)

I have an event-packed calendar today, so I need a little John Wayne to get me started. That and a little Philippians 4:13.

Have a great day! Tomorrow’s Friday!

3 Comments

March 31, 2015

Tuesday’s message

by chuckofish

“St. Paul Preaching in Athens” by Raphael

Wonderful words for Tuesday in Holy Week:

The message about the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written,

“I will destroy the wisdom of the wise,
and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart.”

Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, God decided, through the foolishness of our proclamation, to save those who believe. For Jews demand signs and Greeks desire wisdom, but we proclaim Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those who are the called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For God’s foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God’s weakness is stronger than human strength.

Consider your own call, brothers and sisters: not many of you were wise by human standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, things that are not, to reduce to nothing things that are, so that no one might boast in the presence of God. He is the source of your life in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification and redemption, in order that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”

(1 Corinthians 1:18-31

The Bible speaks to us in the 21st century. Selah.

2 Comments

March 19, 2015

Preaching to ourselves

by chuckofish

Then at last we see what hope is and where it comes from, hope as the driving power and outermost edge of faith. Hope stands up to its knees in the past and keeps its eyes on the future. There has never been a time past when God wasn’t with us as the strength beyond our strength, the wisdom beyond our wisdom, as whatever it is in our hearts–whether we believe in God or not–that keeps us human enough at least to get by despite everything in our lives that tends to wither the heart and make us less than human. To remember the past is to see that we are here today by grace, that we have survived as a gift.

–Frederick Buechner (A Room Called Remember)

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March 11, 2015

Way Back Wednesday

by chuckofish

Today is Johnny Appleseed Day! John Chapman was a real person,

Harper’s Weekly 1871

who became a legend through his travels as a pioneer nurseryman and missionary for the Swedenborgian Church.

Among other things, he is remembered for singing the Swedenborgian hymn: “Oooooh, the Lord is good to me, and so I thank the Lord, for giving me the things I need, the sun and the rain and the appleseed. The Lord is good to me. Amen.”

When I was a Sunday School teacher back in the day, we sang this as a grace before our snack. We sang it a lot at home as well, because it is pretty catchy.

I made this counted cross stitch sampler for my son when he was little and he has it hanging in his house.