dual personalities

Tag: prayer

“Let every heart prepare him room”

by chuckofish

Christmas draws nigh and if we aren’t ready now, we’ll never be. Relax. Everything will be fine.

Today would have been our  Aunt Susanne’s 97th birthday. She was our mother’s older sister and the Grand Dame of the family. 

She was very different from our mother…

…as you can see in this picture taken in about 1930 (with their older cousin Marjorie). But they loved each other very much. When she was dying, it was Susanne who “understood” her best. After all, they had the most history together. 

Of the three sisters, I think I am the most like Susanne, who also was a timid child. She played no varsity sports and she was not an intellectual like our mother. But she liked poetry and was a devoted church lady who endeavored to cultivate the fruits of the spirit (love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control). She also liked a glass of spirits at the end of the day. When she died, her house was in order. As her son wrote me a few years after her death in 2000:

My mother saved everything (well, almost everything), and when the time came to settle her estate and move her belongings, I thought, “Maybe it’s important to save the things she thought were important to save.” So, I packed almost every item I came across.

Our attic and my workshop are stacked full of identical boxes that are just the right size for moving–not too big, not too small. Each one is labeled with its contents.

Periodically, I open one and try to make a decision to keep, or pass on, the items inside.

He is still working on it, all these years later…So tonight I will toast these devoted sisters and also our dear Aunt Donna, the remaining Cameron girl, who is 88.

Xmas card circa 1936

In other news, I finally watched the 1938 version of A Christmas Carol, the one with Reginald Owen. Some people actually think this is the best version. I can’t imagine why. It was not good, especially when compared with the close-to-perfect 1951 Alistair Sim version. I could go into detail explaining why it is not good, but suffice it to say, do not waste your time watching it. Indeed, the Muppet version is much better.

To recap, besides the three versions of A Christmas Carol I have viewed this month, I have watched White Christmas (1951), Miracle on 34th Street (1947), The Bishop’s Wife (1947), The Santa Clause (1994). And I confess that I jumped the gun and watched 3 Godfathers (1946). I just couldn’t wait until Epiphany–mea culpa.

Can you blame me? I am holding off on a few Christmas favorites at the request of daughter #1 who will arrive home later today.

Speaking of movies, this was an interesting article about movies that were filmed in our flyover hometown. I found Harold Ramis’s back-pedaling about the scene he filmed in East St. Louis to be hilarious.

Merry Christmas!

O God, take me in spirit to the watchful shepherds, and enlarge my mind;

let me hear good tidings of great joy, and hearing, believe, rejoice, praise, adore, my conscience bathed in an ocean of repose, place me with ox, ass, camel, goat, to look with them upon my Redeemer’s face, and in him account myself delivered from sin;

let me with Simeon clasp the new-born child to my heart, embrace him with undying faith, exulting that he is mine and I am his.

In him thou hast given me so much that heaven can give no more.

From The Valley of Vision

“Frail as summer’s flow’r we flourish, blows the wind and it is gone”*

by chuckofish

How was your weekend? After a busy Friday with two social engagements and multiple phone calls with loved ones, the rest of my weekend was very quiet. But as the dog days of August wind down, we are looking forward to a busy September.

FaceTiming with Katiebelle

I did my homework for my Bible class, which meets on Thursdays. There are 40 or so women in the class, so it is divided in two and I am in the class with mostly old ladies. I was shocked to be so placed, but then I remembered that I am an old gray-haired lady. I do not feel like one, but it has been many years since my children were in middle school! There are a few women with college-aged kids in my group, so I don’t feel too bad. Anyway, we are reading Leviticus, which you will recall, is the third book of the Pentateuch, following Exodus. It is all about being holy.

We also put the patio umbrella on the new (old) table.

Here is a great prayer by Archibald Alexander (1772-1851) for us gray-haired oldsters. “Now, when I am old and grey-headed, forsake me not; but let Thy grace be sufficient for me; and enable me to bring forth fruit, even in old age. May my hoary head be found in the ways of righteousness!” Read the whole thing.

*Hymn #77, Henry Lyte, 1834

“I have perceiv’d that to be with those I like is enough”*

by chuckofish

It was a busy week at work, and I was still getting over that cold. I went to the dentist, which is always a joy and a half. And I went in to my office on Thursday for various reasons and met with my assistant whom I had not seen in almost a year. We commiserated about our COVID weight gain. It is a mad world.

But, what ho, it is a three-day weekend and that in itself is something to celebrate. And we have Memorial Day to consider. I plan to watch They Were Expendable (1945) which has become one of my favorite war movies.

There is nothing remotely sentimental about this movie and its depiction of war. John Ford is admirably restrained. The American war machine is in retreat, as one by one the islands of the Philippines are seized by the Japanese. No help is coming, no one will save them, they are on their own. But we know who will win.

I watched Wee Willie Winkie (1937) the other night. Shirley Temple, Victor McLaglan, Caesar Romero as Khoda Khan–and also directed by John Ford–pretty great.

Grown men cry and whales blubber.

This was an interesting article. A celebration and lament over science. I concur.

Daughter #1 is coming home today and we will find some roof deck or winery on/at which to hang out. (The other grandparents are back in town so the twins and their parents will be otherwise occupied at their weekend abode.) The weather should be conducive to hanging out. Maybe I can get some sun on a part of my body other than the tops of my feet.

Enjoy the long weekend! Look up! Pray for the day ahead. Pray that you might bring glory to God, in thought, word and deed. Thank God that his mercies are new every morning. Thank God that his grace is sufficient for all situations that you may encounter.

*I Sing the Body Electric, Walt Whitman, whose birthday is May 31

Tally ho!

by chuckofish

It’s Friday and I am very excited because daughter #2 and baby Katie are arriving tomorrow for a quick visit. How great is that? Thankfully we have gotten through all the snow and cold temps and we should be able to enjoy some nice sit-outside weather.

In other news, my DP gave me this book for my birthday and I have been flying through it.

Scary stuff, harrowing stuff, but we knew that about the Comanches already. (I had a hunch that Larry McMurtry wasn’t exaggerating. He must have read Rachel Plummer’s journal.) Read it, if you can take it. There is no sugar-coating and excuse-making for the Comanches’ behavior. There is plenty of context. I am enjoying it a lot.

I watched two Humphrey Bogart movies this week: The African Queen (1951) and The Oklahoma Kid (1939). I enjoyed them both a lot. The African Queen is a classic, of course, and I have seen it many times. I had not seen the latter in 50 or so years–not since the Humphrey Bogart Theater on channel 11 days of my childhood. It also stars James Cagney as the eponymous hero. He is a little weird (and short) in a western, but I have grown to appreciate him in my dotage. He had a style all his own, even in high-heeled cowboy boots.

This was a thought-provoking piece. “How does a person become a saint? By grace alone. To argue otherwise questions what the Bible has to say about people and about saints. A true saint is not someone we strive to imitate, but someone who shows us a clearer picture of what it means to be a sinner saved by God.”

This reminded me that The Selfish Giant was one of the boy’s favorite stories and deeply affected him as a child. “And the child smiled on the Giant, and said to him, ‘You let me play once in your garden, today you shall come with me to my garden, which is Paradise.”

O God, our heavenly Father, whose glory fills the whole creation, and whose presence we find wherever we go: Preserve those who travel; surround them with your loving care; protect them from every danger; and bring them in safety to their journey’s end; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

BCP

Enjoy your weekend! Make good choices!

Our daily bread

by chuckofish

Here’s hoping you are not dreading anything this week.

I gather that yesterday was National Margarita Day. Why didn’t someone inform me? If I didn’t read Instagram, I would never know. (Note to self: stop reading Instagram.)

Today we toast the handsome actor John Hall (1915-1979) on his birthday. Best known for nearly blowing away in The Hurricane (1937) with Dorothy Lamour…

…he also starred as the title character in Kit Carson (1940) with Dana Andrews as Captain Fremont, which I am going to try and find to watch. I’m sure it’s dreadful, but who knows. Ward Bond plays his sidekick–how bad could it be? And that coat looks almost authentic.

The gospel lesson for today is:

“And in praying do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Pray then like this:

Our Father who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
10 Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
    On earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread;[a]
12 And forgive us our debts,
    As we also have forgiven our debtors;
13 And lead us not into temptation,
    But deliver us from evil.[b]

14 For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you; 15 but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Matthew 6:7-15

Seems pretty straightforward. But forgiveness is a hard thing.

When we strive against all thoughts of revenge; when we will not do our enemies mischief, but wish well to them, grieve at their calamities, pray for them, seek reconciliation with them, and show ourselves ready on all occasions to relieve them. (Thomas Watson, Body of Divinity)

Hang in there. Dread not.

“The snows that are older than history”*

by chuckofish

This was the view out my “office” window yesterday.

And here’s the view out my front door. My work day was basically unchanged, because Zoom classes just carry on despite the weather. Zut alors! Quel monde!

I usually like to walk around in the snow, but when the high is 3 degrees, that’s too cold to mess around. I was happy to stay inside in my snug house and watch this:

I wanted the gold, and I sought it;
   I scrabbled and mucked like a slave.
Was it famine or scurvy—I fought it;
   I hurled my youth into a grave.
I wanted the gold, and I got it— 
   Came out with a fortune last fall,— 
Yet somehow life’s not what I thought it,
   And somehow the gold isn’t all.

(Read the whole poem here.)

Daughter #1 sensibly took the train back to mid-MO, rather than drive. (I’m sure you’ll hear more about that adventure tomorrow.)

In the meantime I’ll bundle up and count my blessings and contemplate the coming Lenten season, which commences tomorrow. No pancakes though, as in yesteryears, in Albright Hall tonight. And that’s okay. I certainly won’t be giving anything up this year. If anything, I will take something on.

Give me a heart to believe, that I may obey you, for you have commanded it. Give me a heart to believe, that I may please you, for you have said that is what you desire. Give me a heart to believe, that I may honor you, for you have declared that this gives glory to you.

It is enough to be yours. Just give me a heart to believe, since without faith I can have no part in you.

David Clarkson (1622-1686)

*Robert W. Service

What is your life?

by chuckofish

Brigham Young University Museum of Art

David Zahl used this Norman Rockwell painting “Lift Up Thine Eyes” (1957) as a sermon illustration this week and I thought I’d share it too. Rockwell depicts New Yorkers with hunched shoulders and downcast eyes passing St. Thomas Church on Fifth Avenue and 53rd Street. They are not looking up at the beauty around them or at the message on the church sign or at their fellow man. Nowadays he would no doubt illustrate people with eyes locked on their cell phones, oblivious to their surroundings and their fellow man. But the sign on the Episcopal Church wouldn’t quote scripture–it would probably say, “All are welcome here” and fly a rainbow flag. And the church would still be empty.

We didn’t get much snow, but the temperature plunged. It was 7 degrees when I checked on Sunday morning.

It was the kind of weekend where you were content to sit by the fire…

and/or cuddle under a blanket.

On Saturday I did venture out to an estate sale at a very modest house in my flyover town, a house which I would normally skip. However, the pictures online of the interior of the house revealed a lot of nice things, including a mysterious array of early 1960s high-end children’s clothing. There were Steiff animals, needlepoint canvases, worked and unworked, and other signs of cultural familiarity.

When I got there my interest was piqued…

and when I found these M.I. blazers, I knew the house had belonged to someone I knew long ago.

Indeed, it all came together and I remembered reading that this woman, who was in the class below me all during my growing up years at school, had died a month or so ago. Well, estate sales can become very creepy when you realize you knew the person(s) who lived there. This happens more than you might think, mostly because I know a lot of older people because of my work. However, a surprising number of my contemporaries have departed this mortal coil, and that does start one thinking.

“Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit’—yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” (James 4:13-14)

Well, I bought a book–I already have a copy, but I always pick up out-of-print treasures like this when I get the chance.

Sigh. All this has caused me to feel a certain nostalgia for the wretched 1970s!

In that spirit, I give you the Grateful Dead:

P.S. While looking on Youtube for the GD version of this song, I found this cover by some talented youngsters–I love these guys! Jack-A-Roe (or Jack Monroe) is a traditional English folksong which has been recorded by Bob Dylan and Joan Baez, among others. Time goes by, but things stay the same, right?

Have a great week, starting with today–Monday! Look up! Pray for the day ahead. Pray that you might bring glory to God, in thought, word and deed. Thank God that his mercies are new every morning. Thank God that his grace is sufficient for all situations that you may encounter.

What are you reading?

by chuckofish

Did you get a lot of good books for Christmas? Me too.

Yes it’s true. I contain multitudes.

Oh, for grace to acknowledge you, to obey you, to love you. And as the Father has set you upon your throne, may his grace also give you the throne of my heart! And while all your enemies must bow before you, may all your friends and followers rejoice in your service! Even so, Amen!

Robert Hawker, Puritan (1753-1827)

Now it is two days of work before the four-day weekend. Ugh and a million emails to catch up with. Even so, Amen.

“We have seen strange things today.”*

by chuckofish

It’s been a strange year, indeed. And stranger things are no doubt in store. However, today I choose to focus on the positive. At least two great things have happened this year.

The first is a no brainer: little Katie was born in the middle of the pandemic and she is truly a pearl beyond price.

What’s the story, Morning Glory?

However, another great thing happened a few weeks ago, which I haven’t mentioned, but it has made me smile every time I think about it.

Our neighbors across the street sold their giant RV! Yes, we no longer have to see it every time we look out our living room window and our cul de sac no longer looks like a trailer park.

Not the RV, but like the RV

Their driveway still looks like a used car lot and the unused trampoline in the side yard still gathers leaves more efficiently than their teenage son can keep up with the leaves in their yard, but, hey, I’m not quibbling.

No doubt, something equally heinous will take its place, but such is community life. I mean these are the same people who halted their home renovation halfway through and it stayed half done for over a year with numerous ladders leaning up against the house. They frequently have an industrial dumpster in their driveway for extended periods of time. But this was big. A major source of triggering for me has been removed and so I am grateful.

Of course, they haven’t put up their Christmas decorations yet…

Another home not far from our house…

(Check out more festively decorated homes around my flyover hometown here.)

Well, I wouldn’t want you to think I haven’t repented many times for criticizing my neighbors and hated my terrible sinful nature, so here’s a great prayer from an early English Puritan, David Clarkson:

Lord, I would be the most miserable person in the world if my hopes were only in this life. Why? Because I am hopeless without Christ’s righteousness. My life could never be comfortable, and there would be no hope at all of eternal life.

If you denied me that hope, I would be the most miserable one of all. I may be happy without worldly enjoyments, but all things in the world cannot make me happy without this.

So however you treat me in this world, whatever you deny me, Lord, deny me not this. I can be happy without riches and abundance, like Job and Lazarus were. I can be happy even if I am reviled and reproached, as was Christ and his disciples. I can be happy and comfortable in prison, as were Paul and Silas.

But I cannot be happy without the righteousness of Christ.

All the riches, places, or honors on earth will leave me miserable if I am without this. Even if I were rich and needed nothing, without this I would still be wretched and miserable, poor, blind, and naked.

If I had all things that a person could desire on earth, what good would it do me without Christ’s righteousness?

What would riches do for me, if they came with the wrath of God? What comfort would honor bring me, if I remained a son of perdition or a child of wrath?

What sweetness would there be in pleasure, if I were on the path to everlasting torments?

What miserable comforts and enjoyments are these, without Christ’s righteousness!

Lord, however you deal with me in outward things, whatever you take from me, whatever you deny me—do not deny me Christ! Do not deny me a share in his righteousness! Amen.

–David Clarkson (1622-1686)

Need a great Christmas present? Here you go.

P.S. In an effort to broaden my movie viewing and try some newer Christmas movies, I have watched/half watched some really bad movies. Case in point: Jingle All the Way (1996) starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad. Excruciating. And they made a sequel. It’s back to the classics for me.

Have a good week!

*Luke 5: 26

Faithless fears and worldly anxieties

by chuckofish

So yesterday I was allowed to go to my flyover university office on campus and retrieve my computer and other needful things that I have been doing without for six months (while using my personal laptop at home). Thinking I would be back in a couple of weeks, I left some plants in my office when I vacated the office back in March and they were (of course) all dead. I packed up a few files and such and brought everything home and lugged it inside and set it up.

And, oh boy, I had forgotten how great a big screen is! Anyway, I guess we are telecommuting for the long haul, i.e. the end of the year.

Sigh.

But here’s something to cheer you up if you need it:

Sigh. I’m sure we all need it.

Loving God,
you want us to give thanks for all things,
to fear nothing except losing you,
and to lay all our cares on you,
knowing that you care for us.
Protect us from faithless fears and worldly anxieties,
and grant that no clouds in this mortal life
may hide from us the light of your immortal love
shown to us in your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.

–William Bright (1824-1901)

(The painting is by Van Gogh.)