dual personalities

Tag: poetry

As lost as Carthage

by chuckofish

Of all the streets that blur in to the sunset,
There must be one (which, I am not sure)
That I by now have walked for the last time
Without guessing it, the pawn of that Someone
Who fixes in advance omnipotent laws,
Sets up a secret and unwavering scale
for all the shadows, dreams, and forms
Woven into the texture of this life.
If there is a limit to all things and a measure
And a last time and nothing more and forgetfulness,
Who will tell us to whom in this house
We without knowing it have said farewell?
Through the dawning window night withdraws
And among the stacked books which throw
Irregular shadows on the dim table,
There must be one which I will never read.
There is in the South more than one worn gate,
With its cement urns and planted cactus,
Which is already forbidden to my entry,
Inaccessible, as in a lithograph.
There is a door you have closed forever
And some mirror is expecting you in vain;
To you the crossroads seem wide open,
Yet watching you, four-faced, is a Janus.
There is among all your memories one
Which has now been lost beyond recall.
You will not be seen going down to that fountain
Neither by white sun nor by yellow moon.
You will never recapture what the Persian
Said in his language woven with birds and roses,
When, in the sunset, before the light disperses,
You wish to give words to unforgettable things.
And the steadily flowing Rhone and the lake,
All that vast yesterday over which today I bend?
They will be as lost as Carthage,
Scourged by the Romans with fire and salt.
At dawn I seem to hear the turbulent
Murmur of crowds milling and fading away;
They are all I have been loved by, forgotten by;
Space, time, and Borges now are leaving me.

–Jorge Luis Borges, “Limits”

A poem for Thursday. Have a good day!

The unshorn fields, boundless and beautiful

by chuckofish

I’ve been working hard this week. How about you?

And today I am packing a bag to travel up to see the prairie girls and DN tomorrow. Here’s a poem by William Cullen Bryant to get us all in the mood…”The Prairies”:

These are the gardens of the Desert, these

The unshorn fields, boundless and beautiful,

For which the speech of England has no name—

The Prairies. I behold them for the first,

And my heart swells, while the dilated sight

Takes in the encircling vastness. Lo! they stretch,

In airy undulations, far away,

As if the ocean, in his gentlest swell,

Stood still, with all his rounded billows fixed,

And motionless forever. —Motionless?—

No—they are all unchained again. The clouds

Sweep over with their shadows, and, beneath,

The surface rolls and fluctuates to the eye;

Dark hollows seem to glide along and chase

The sunny ridges. Breezes of the South!

Who toss the golden and the flame-like flowers,

And pass the prairie-hawk that, poised on high,

Flaps his broad wings, yet moves not—ye have played

Among the palms of Mexico and vines

Of Texas, and have crisped the limpid brooks

That from the fountains of Sonora glide

Into the calm Pacific—have ye fanned

A nobler or a lovelier scene than this?

Read the whole poem here.

A singular elegance

by chuckofish

I forgot to mention that Sunday was the birthday of Jorge Luis Borges, the great Argentine essayist, poet and translator. As you know, he is a favorite of mine.

I will toast him tonight and read some poetry.

I watched a good movie the other night, one recommended by my DP several years ago. The Professor and the Madman (2019) is the true story of professor James Murray, who in 1879 became director of an Oxford University Press project, The New English Dictionary on Historical Principles, and the man who became his friend and colleague, W.C. Minor, an American doctor who submitted more than 10,000 entries while he was confined at Broadmoor Criminal Lunatic Asylum at Crowthorne after being found not guilty of murder due to insanity.  

Mel Gibson plays the Professor and Sean Penn is the Madman. They are both excellent.

This is not a film that would appeal to a large audience, but I liked it. Despite the fact that it takes place in large part in an insane asylum and a university, it is full of interesting, intelligent and kindly people. The only real cruelty is perpetrated by well-meaning doctors trying to advance medical understanding. There is even a Christian message.

I also re-watched Seven Days in Utopia (2011) starring Robert Duval and Lucas Black, two more favorites of mine. It tells the story of Luke Chisholm, a young professional golfer, who, after melting down during a tournament and shooting 80 in the final round, crashes his car into a fence and finds himself stuck in Utopia, Texas while his car is repaired. He meets retired golfer Johnny Crawford and learns from him how to move on with his life and career. It also has a Christian message.

This movie is actually rated G!

I am currently re-reading Death Comes for the Archbishop by Willa Cather. It is a great book, so beautifully written.

“Under his buckskin riding-coat he wore a black vest and the cravat and collar of a churchman. A young priest, at his devotions; and a priest in a thousand, one knew at a glance. His bowed head was not that of an ordinary man,—it was built for the seat of a fine intelligence. His brow was open, generous, reflective, his features handsome and somewhat severe. There was a singular elegance about the hands below the fringed cuffs of the buckskin jacket. Everything showed him to be a man of gentle birth—brave, sensitive, courteous. His manners, even when he was alone in the desert, were distinguished. He had a kind of courtesy toward himself, toward his beasts, toward the juniper tree before which he knelt, and the God whom he was addressing.”

So read a poem, watch a good movie, re-read a favorite book, and praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Up to the stone wall

by chuckofish

It’s Friday again–do you have plans for the weekend?

Me neither. I have been reading some poetry. Here’s one:

A Time to Talk

When a friend calls to me from the road
And slows his horse to a meaning walk,
I don’t stand still and look around
On all the hills I haven’t hoed,
And shout from where I am, What is it?
No, not as there is a time to talk.
I thrust my hoe in the mellow ground,
Blade-end up and five feet tall,
And plod: I go up to the stone wall
For a friendly visit.

–Robert Frost (1974-1963)

And I thought this was actually funny…

Old and modern nooks

by chuckofish

It’s the last day of April! Spring has sprung! Buds on the peonies, buds on the iris…

Goodness gracious–weeds proliferating!

Here’s a poem for May by Leigh Hunt:

There is May in books forever;
May will part from Spenser never;
May’s in Milton, May’s in Prior,
May’s in Chaucer, Thomson, Dyer;
May’s in all the Italian books:—
She has old and modern nooks,
Where she sleeps with nymphs and elves,
In happy places they call shelves,
And will rise and dress your rooms
With a drapery thick with blooms.
Come, ye rains, then if ye will,
May’s at home, and with me still;
But come rather, thou, good weather,
And find us in the fields together.

And here’s a prayer daughter #1 sent me yesterday–it’s a good one:

“I think of the stark and puritanical sky”*

by chuckofish

The Easter weekend was a blur of activity, but I do remember that something fun happened on Good Friday. I went over to daughter #1’s house for an impromptu lunch after which we hopped over to an estate sale nearby at a Clayton penthouse. Normally condos are not worth going to because the people living in them have already down-sized, but this one was listed by our favorite estate sale company and there were a lot of books.

We did, indeed, find a few books, but I also found an antique loveseat that had been recovered in a fab fabric. (Like the Madcaps, no beige for me!) I started to fill out a bid card, but Lamar called us over and looked at it and gave it to me for my asking price (60%)! Plus he threw in everything else for the Lamar discount of free.

One of their guys delivered it to my house and he and his son got it upstairs and into my office easy peasy. I am thrilled.

And I made it to church by 6 o’clock!

With all the excitement I almost forgot it was my birthday. I received many lovely birthday gifts over the weekend…

My children know me so well.

My daughters also gave me fancy beauty treatments which I very much appreciate, because they are “in the know” and I am not. They know too to put the effort into fancy wrapping and ribbons, which they learned from me and I learned from my mother. They also know to go to the Dollar Tree for fab decorations! This warms my mothers heart.

All the rain, of course, has resulted in lush growth everywhere. Look at Don’s beautiful creek bed–fresh rainwater runoff over bedrock behind his house…

…and I love his beautiful dogwoods…

And here’s a poem by Jorge Luis Borges*:

April charms

by chuckofish

I am currently working on an article for the Kirkwood Historical Review about A.G. Edwards, an early “pioneer” of our adopted hometown. They weren’t fighting off Indians or anything, but those mid-19th century guys led very interesting lives nonetheless.

Edwards was a graduate of West Point (class of 1832) and was 45th in a class of 45–the goat. I should note here that the term “Goat” holds a special place in U.S. Army tradition. The term refers to the cadet graduating from West Point with the lowest Grade Point Average (GPA) or “the man who would have stood first if he had boned (i.e. studied)”. Rather than being a badge of shame, it recognizes the tenacity or foolhardiness it takes to be the last graduate of the best of the best. “It is definitely an honor; it is in no way a joke,” according to

James Robbins, author of “Last in their Class: Custer, Pickett and the Goats of West Point.” At West Point, where plenty of cadets “wash out” years before graduation, there’s a genuine respect for the cadet who faltered, but graduated. And, truly, General A.G. Edwards went on to great things.

In other news, this appeared on my Instagram feed on April Fool’s Day:

Well, to infinity and beyond!

Also, I really like John Piper’s answer to Jordan Peterson’s take on happiness–it is wonderful. “Jordan Peterson is negative about happiness as the aim of life because he defines happiness as fleeting, unpredictable, impulsive, and superficial rather than as deep, lasting, soul-satisfying, rooted in God, and expanding in love. He’s probably right that for most people, happiness is experienced as fleeting, superficial, unpredictable, and impulsive rather than as deep and lasting and soul-satisfying and rooted in God.” Read the whole thing.

And here’s a poem: Always Marry an April Girl by Ogden Nash

Praise the spells and bless the charms,
I found April in my arms.
April golden, April cloudy, Gracious, cruel, tender, rowdy; April soft in flowered languor, April cold with sudden anger, Ever changing, ever true -- I love April, I love you.

Embrace awkwardness

by chuckofish

How was your weekend? Mine was a quiet one mostly spent recovering from a stressful week full of trips to MoBap, semi-annual and annual checkups and infusions etc. It has been five years since I ended chemo/radiation, but once you’ve had cancer, dark thoughts are always at the back of your mind. All you can do is trust God and live your life.

I ran across this poem, In Case I Die Unexpectedly, and I think it is really good. We should all write our own version.

for Hildegaard

Always salt your pasta water.
Watch how he treats his mother.
Ask people how you can pray for them,
then stop and pray for them
right then and there,
in a crowded restaurant,
in the grocery aisle,
during donuts before or after church.
Embrace awkwardness, or else
you will miss out on so much.
Don’t chew your nails (like I do).
Don’t open everything with your teeth (like I do).
Don’t always fill the silence. It can be a gift.
Carry the pocket knife your dad will give you,
but don’t forget to take it out of your backpack
before you go to the airport.
Wash your darks and lights separately.
If you find a good peach, give thanks to God.
If you find a good mango, get down on your knees and worship.
Give things away as often as possible. Hold everything
with open hands. Nothing is our own.
Don’t fall for fad diets. Try to eat healthy, but
don’t feel guilty for going to McDonald’s.
There is no such thing as “get rich quick,”
there is only hard work. Go to bed tired.
Put your feet in the water as often as possible:
touch, taste, and see that God is good.
Wake up with hope. Jesus is the same
yesterday, today and forever. 

–Rachel Joy Welcher

Well, daughter #1 and Mr. Smith made it home after a fun-filled visit in Mahomet.

I gather that Mr. Smith was quite a hit with the young ladies. They have gotten over their fear and pet him freely now.

Onward and upward!

“The secret ministry of frost/ Shall hang them up in silent icicles”*

by chuckofish

FYI I decided to keep my blog at WordPress and I upgraded my site, meaning I pay more now, but I am back to posting photos. Yay! I know you have missed this little fella:

Well, January is almost over and the snow is finally starting to melt, although the ice mounds left by the snow plows will be with us until March probably.

Yesterday after school, while Lottie was in dance class, the boy and the bud came over to hang out. I heard all about the bud’s first drum lesson at The School of Rock. He is definitely cool enough to be in the band**.

In other news, my Bible Study starts up today. I am happy to return to this smart group of ladies as we delve into Exodus 1-18. Time to watch The Ten Commandments (1956) I guess.

I thought this about the release of the JFK files, conspiracy theories, and the “Deep State” was very interesting.

And this is funny!

**Remember this?

*From “Frost at Midnight” by Samuel Taylor Coleridge; read the poem here.

Some poetry (and a prayer)

by chuckofish

Today we toast George Gordon, Lord Byron, who was born on this day in 1788. As you know, he is one of the major figures of the Romantic Movement in English literature. He wrote lengthy narratives as well as shorter lyrics, and died at the age of 36. So for those of you who are feeling world-weary and disillusioned (a quintessential theme of Byron’s poetry) here’s “So, we’ll go no more a-roving”:

So, we’ll go no more a roving

   So late into the night,

Though the heart be still as loving,

   And the moon be still as bright.

For the sword outwears its sheath,

   And the soul wears out the breast,

And the heart must pause to breathe,

   And love itself have rest.

Though the night was made for loving,

   And the day returns too soon,

Yet we’ll go no more a roving

   By the light of the moon.

And here’s the poem read by John Gielgud.

I will also say that I thought Rev. Franklin Graham did a masterful job praying at the Inauguration on Monday. And I have to admit, I also liked Archbishop Dolan remembering Gen. George Patton’s instructions to his soldiers as they began the Battle of the Bulge eight decades ago:

“Pray! Pray when fighting. Pray alone. Pray with others. Pray by night. Pray by day.”

Pray.