dual personalities

Tag: gratitude

November 17, 2022

Unspeakably profound

by chuckofish

This article got me thinking about babies and our children and how frivolously we speak of them in and out of the womb.

Indeed, “there is clearly more going on than just a remarkable natural process. It is mysterious and miraculous that a creature would be able to reproduce itself.” Entirely new beings! As a grandmother I have relished watching my three grandchildren grow and change and progress. I paid attention to this with my own kids, but I was always so busy and distracted that I probably didn’t notice all that I should. A grandmother can focus more.

It is amazing to see Katie’s vocabulary expand and her ability to express herself increase daily. She is so similar to her mother and her aunt in looks and demeanor, and yet, she is her own little person.

Of course, our twins, born three months prematurely and spending three full months in the NICU, really are modern-day miracles. Even at a pound and a half, they were fearfully and wonderfully made. The fact that they are bright, healthy, normal kindergartners blows my mind every day.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” (Psalm 139:13-16)

The other day I quoted from an article where the author said that we live in an age marked by infantile ingratitude. Don’t fall into the trap of being ungrateful. Be grateful for your parents who bore you and to the God who created you. As Walt Whitman wrote, “As to me I know of nothing else but miracles.”

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November 15, 2022

Come, ye thankful people, come

by chuckofish

In November we like to be especially aware of all for which we are thankful. It is good to start a list.

My Bible study group. It has been great to be in this group of ladies from my new church and a real entry therein. Because it is a sharing group, I have gotten to know so many of them and visa versa. I especially enjoy being with the young women. They are so engaged in the gospel and so intent on their prayer lives. I have never known women like this. It is a rarity in this world, no doubt. I have so much to learn. This is my last week until the new year. I will miss it.

The Bible. Since I began my search for a new denomination in earnest several years ago, and started listening to Tim Keller, R.C. Sproul et al, I have learned that to be immersed in the Bible and regular in study, is of the utmost importance. Daily Bible reading really does ground you. I have 47 days to go until I finish reading the entire Bible. And do you know what I’ll do on January 1, 2023? Start all over again.

Your word is a lamp to my feet
And a light to my path.

–Psalm 119:105

The internet. It is the downfall of civilization (no exaggeration intended) as we know it, but it can be very helpful and enlightening. I especially appreciate writers who are much smarter and more articulate than I, like this guy. “We live in an age marked by infantile ingratitude. And if [he] is right, that means we live in an age when we do not really know how to live at all. Ingratitude has dehumanized us.” Truer words were never spoken.

Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness,
And for His wonderful works to the children of men!

–Psalm 107:15

Also the internet provides this kind of diversion. (Thank you, Anne.)

And I thought this was funny.

My aging and increasingly creaking body. I am grateful that I am still able to go up and down stairs and do multiple loads of laundry. I can still vacuum my home and take out the trash. I can’t do some things, but I can still do a lot. I don’t mind asking for help when I need it.

I am still feeling the effects of the cold which has had me in its clutches for nearly three weeks. I am getting better, but man, I really take for granted how great it is to be healthy until I’m not.

Jesus Christ said to all Christians without exception, “Let him who would be my disciple carry his cross, and follow me.” The broad way leads to perdition. We must follow the narrow way which few enter. We must be born again, renounce ourselves, hate ourselves, become a child, be poor in spirit, weep to be comforted and not be of the world which is cursed because of its scandels.

These truths frighten people, and this is because they only know what religion exacts without knowing what it offers, and they ignore the spirit of love which makes everything easy. They do not know that it leads to the highest perfection by a feeling of peace and love which sweetens all the struggle.

Those who are wholly God’s are always happy. They know by experience that the yoke of the Lord is “easy and light,” that we find in him “rest for the soul,” and that he comforts those who are weary and overburdened, as he himself has said.

François Fénelon (1651-1715)
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October 28, 2022

To walk in the way of duty

by chuckofish

Another Saturday night, January 1738-39, I had such a sense, how sweet and blessed a thing it was, to walk in the way of duty, to do that which was right and meet to be done, and agreeable to the holy mind of God; that it caused me to break forth into a kind of loud weeping, which held me some time; so that I was forced to shut myself up, and fasten the doors. I could not but as it were cry out, “How happy are they which do that which is right in the sight of God! They are blessed indeed, they are the happy ones!” I had at the same time, a very affecting sense, how meet and suitable it was that God should govern the world, and order all things according to his own pleasure; and I rejoiced in it, that God reigned, and that his will was done.

–Jonathan Edwards, Personal Narrative
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October 13, 2022

The way is clear

by chuckofish

Well, we finally got some rain after about a month without any and the storm was quite a whopper! But much needed and appreciated.

In other news, a 2,554-pound pumpkin won the record as the heaviest pumpkin in U.S. history! The super squash was grown near Buffalo, New York, this year. But wait! Just one week later, a new pumpkin king was crowned. A 2,560-pound pumpkin won a contest in Northern California, beating the first squash by six pounds. Who knew the competition was so fierce?

This article about the sin of contempt is very pertinent these days. It is a sin I grapple with daily. “But contempt is the silent killer of Christian charity. It has no place in the heart of a follower of Jesus.”

I had lunch the other day with two friends who are 93 and 82. We jokingly agreed that we are all very thankful to wake up every morning and know what day it is. But a lot of people forget that God commands us to be thankful: give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thessalonians 5:18) As Darryl Dash writes, “To refuse to give thanks to God is, in some sense, the essence of sin, one of the greatest problems plaguing humanity (Romans 1: 21). Acknowledging God and giving thanks to him is no trifling matter.”

So may the Lord make me truly thankful for the big things (family, health, home, church) and for the smaller things, such as:

  • a house full of books and movies…
  • the internet, which can be a blessing. I stumbled upon this on the desiringGod website…
  • our memories

And a poem by Wendell Berry:

And, finally, a toast to Angela Lansbury who has died at age 96. I think I’ll watch either The World of Henry Orient (1964) or The Court Jester (1955)–both great favorites of mine in which she appeared.

(The pumpkin photo is from the WORLD News Group.)

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January 19, 2022

In him we live and move and have our being

by chuckofish

Yesterday I caught up on all the stuff I do to keep the home fires burning. However, I also caught up on a new puzzle I was working on before I left and that took up an alarming amount of time.

Zut alors!

Tonight we will toast per usual our January 19th birthday girls–our mother…

and Dolly Parton,

who share a birthday with the fictional character Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Our three favorite role models.

This was an interesting article about the problem with leaving the Church. “We can’t comprehend the love of Christ individually. There may be a time to leave the local congregation but never a time to leave the church.”

Genesis 1.21: like I always say about elephants, evolution cannot begin to explain whales.

This is wonderful. (Thank you, Anne.)

And I loved this scene from the book of Acts (17: 22-31) which I read in my daily reading:

So Paul, standing in the midst of the Areopagus, said: “Men of Athens, I perceive that in every way you are very religious.  For as I passed along and observed the objects of your worship, I found also an altar with this inscription: ‘To the unknown god.’ What therefore you worship as unknown, this I proclaim to you.  The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything.  And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us, for

“‘In him we live and move and have our being’;

as even some of your own poets have said,

“‘For we are indeed his offspring.’

 Being then God’s offspring, we ought not to think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone, an image formed by the art and imagination of man. The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent, because he has fixed a day on which he will judge the world in righteousness by a man whom he has appointed; and of this he has given assurance to all by raising him from the dead.”

When I was going through an old file, I found this New Yorker cartoon, torn out of a magazine in 1979.

Don’t forget to stop and look out the window today (but brush your hair first). There is a lot of Life going on out there: squirrels and birds and weather and the UPS man stopping by.

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November 29, 2021

Thankful postcards

by chuckofish

Our cup runneth over with thankfulness for a lovely week spent with family.

Katie hopped right into the fray and did remarkably well in the chaos that is our life. We had many uproarious frolics…

…and fun times playing with her Aunt…

(Twinsies)

and with her cousins…

Thanksgiving was lovely and low-key with everyone pitching in so no one had to slave in the kitchen.

We hosted a happy hour on Friday so our friends could come over and hang out with our visitors…

DN did the charcuterie board–shazam!
(The other dual personalities)

When daughter # 2 and DN and baby Katie left on Saturday morning at 4:30 am–they made it back to Maryland in 14 hours!–daughter #1 and I threw ourselves into decorating the house for Christmas to assuage our melancholy…

And finally on Sunday after church, we celebrated the boy’s birthday!

(Two brown-eyed handsome men)

What a week! Now everyone is headed back to the salt mines and I will start cleaning up!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow;

Praise him, all creatures here below;

Praise him above, ye heavenly host:

Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

Amen.

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November 16, 2021

Who makes much of miracles?

by chuckofish

In yesterday’s blog post I described a fun overnight visit to my daughter in Jefferson City. I was thinking more about it and it occurred to me that there was nothing particularly “Instagrammable” or blog-worthy about it. It was very ordinary indeed. But isn’t it in the ordinary that we see the beauty and blessings of God’s world?

Sure, it would have been great to eat dinner at the Gasparilla Inn in Boca Grande or sit on a patio overlooking Lake Como sipping a cocktail. But for me, eating lunch at the Grand on High Street in our state capitol is really just as pleasant. Driving around that small midwestern town and seeing the park and the local university was just as fun as sightseeing in Washington D.C. My point being that wherever you are, there you are, and your glass is either half full or half empty.

My glass is half full. I wake up every morning and thank God that His mercies are new every morning. (Some days it takes me a moment or two to remember what day it is or what month, but I get there eventually.) And there is usually a pot of coffee going that the OM made before I got up. And I know that nothing extraordinary will happen to me today–at least I hope not–but the memory of holding my grandchildren’s tiny hands as we crossed the church parking lot on Sunday will keep me going all week.

Well, I am going to tidy up and get ready for a houseful of family at Thanksgiving. I am thankful for a sweet son-in-law who is driving his family 700 miles to be here. I am thankful for a sweet daughter-in-law who is making special matching holiday pajamas for the cousins–a family tradition on her side of the family. We’ll have cheesy potato casserole and green beans and crescent rolls and Dierberg’s will prepare the turkey breast. And even if there is no canned jellied cranberry this year because of the sorry state of commerce in our country (I noted the absence of this staple today at Dierberg’s), we’ll survive. If the whole meal implodes, we’ll be fine. Because it’s not just about the yummy food and the perfect table settings. We have plenty to be thankful for.

Yes, it is November and we like to count our blessings extra hard in the run-up to Thanksgiving. I encourage you to do this as well. But keep in mind that being grateful means little if you do not know and acknowledge to whom you are grateful. So praise God from whom all blessings flow/Praise Him, all creatures here below/Praise Him above, ye heavenly host/Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

And take note of all the miracles in your life!

Why, who makes much of a miracle?
As to me I know of nothing else but miracles,
Whether I walk the streets of Manhattan,
Or dart my sight over the roofs of houses toward the sky,
Or wade with naked feet along the beach just in the edge of the water,
Or stand under trees in the woods,
Or talk by day with any one I love, or sleep in the bed at night with any one I love,
Or sit at table at dinner with the rest,
Or look at strangers opposite me riding in the car,
Or watch honey-bees busy around the hive of a summer forenoon,
Or animals feeding in the fields,
Or birds, or the wonderfulness of insects in the air,
Or the wonderfulness of the sundown, or of stars shining so quiet and bright,
Or the exquisite delicate thin curve of the new moon in spring;
These with the rest, one and all, are to me miracles,
The whole referring, yet each distinct and in its place.

To me every hour of the light and dark is a miracle,
Every cubic inch of space is a miracle,
Every square yard of the surface of the earth is spread with the same,
Every foot of the interior swarms with the same.

To me the sea is a continual miracle,
The fishes that swim—the rocks—the motion of the waves—the
        ships with men in them,
What stranger miracles are there?

–Walt Whitman

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July 12, 2021

“We will feast in the house of Zion”*

by chuckofish

Well, we had quite a three-day weekend–lots of drama and some severe weather thrown in for good measure.

The OM and I drove over to Jeff City on Friday where we bought a new car. We have a habit of thinking about a thing for two years and then, on what appears to be the spur of the moment, doing something big. This is what happened once again this week. Inspired by the video daughter #1 produced about the Riley Brothers car dealership in JC (the ones who sustained huge damage two years ago in the JC tornado), the OM finally made a decision re replacing his old Honda Accord.

While he dealt with finalizing and picking up the car, I went home with daughter #1 to her apartment and tried to put together a new bed which had been delivered that morning. We also talked for several hours about the pros and cons of a big job offer she got. This was a lot of drama for one day. I won’t go into the details, but we finally threw our hands up into the air, abandoned the bed unfinished, left her apartment in disarray, and drove home to St. Louis. The OM followed in his new car.

That night we drank two bottles of wine, listened to music and discussed more pros and cons of the job offer. Then we slept through a huge storm in which 60-70 mph winds downed big trees and power lines and left us without electricity.

Photo from KSDK.com

(The steeple was blown off this 150 year old church (STL PD photo)–Zut alors!)

We wanted the wee twins to come over the next day and help us pick up sticks and other detritus in our yard, but they had to go to a birthday party, so we had to do it ourselves.

The boy and his famille came over after the party to check out the OM’s new car.

The wee laddie said, “Pappy has a cool Caddy!” and set his seal of approval. (My “Cooper” is still his favorite.)

We ate a late lunch from Chick fil-A by candlelight.

After they went home, daughter #1 and I headed over to Club Taco to hang out on the patio…

The OM texted us when the electricity came back on (17 hours later) and we went home with a big sigh of relief.

After church on Sunday morning, daughter #1 headed home to put her chaotic apartment back in order. I caught up on the phone with my DP and daughter #2 and then the OM and I took a ride through Lone Elk Park. We saw this raccoon and her three kits…

…and a few lazy elk, but not much was going on there. Then I watched some PGA on TV and settled in for the evening, grateful for electricity, fair weather, family, and friends.

“I SHALL NOT WANT,” the psalm says. Is that true? There are lots of things we go on wanting, go on lacking, whether we believe in God or not. They are not just material things like a new roof or a better paying job, but things like good health, things like happiness for our children, things like being understood and appreciated, like relief from pain, like some measure of inner peace not just for ourselves but for the people we love and for whom we pray. Believers and unbelievers alike we go on wanting plenty our whole lives through. We long for what never seems to come. We pray for what never seems to be clearly given. But when the psalm says “I shall not want,” maybe it is speaking the utter truth anyhow. Maybe it means that if we keep our eyes open, if we keep our hearts and lives open, we will at least never be in want of the one thing we want more than anything else. Maybe it means that whatever else is withheld, the shepherd never withholds himself, and he is what we want more than anything else. 

–Frederick Buechner, The Clown in the Belfry

*Sandra McCracken

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June 21, 2021

“Scorning the Pomp of must and shall my father moved through dooms of feel”*

by chuckofish

So Father’s Day was on Sunday. It did cause me to pause a moment and reflect on my own pater familias, who died almost 30 years ago. The only picture I have of him with his family is this one, taken no doubt to send to his own mother.

I have no photo of him with just me. Although we spent a lot of time together because we went back and forth to school every day, I don’t remember any conversations we had. As relationships go, it was pretty shallow. I have no idea if he was proud of me. He certainly never told me so. I just assumed he loved me. I mean, I didn’t feel unloved, like so many people nowadays seem to feel. I was proud of him. At least until I found out he was an alcoholic at age 11, and then I was embarrassed and probably ashamed. I was an anxious child, and that knowledge didn’t help.

I survived and I am grateful to him for several things. He went to work every day and earned a living and managed to put three children through college. After that, he kind of fell apart. He passed on some pretty good genes. He stayed married to our mother. He did the best he could, considering his own father semi-abandoned him and his mother to go cover the Spanish Civil War or something like that. What did he know? At least I had John Wayne and Ward Cleaver. What kind of role models to kids have today?

Well, maybe I learned something from the way I grew up. It may have been a negative lesson, but the results, I think, have been positive.

Saturday was Juneteenth, which I blogged about back in 2013. Everyone is talking about it now, but of course, we were ahead of everyone.

I watched The Professionals (1966) to celebrate. This has become a personal tradition. (I ❤️ Woody Strode.)

This is worth your time reading. He articulates what I am always trying to say. “Our secular world groans as well but doesn’t know where to find hope. Secular solutions only exacerbate the problem, leaving us wanting.”

The weather has been hot, hot, hot–St. Louis style hot. Whenever I go out to pull some weeds, trim some ivy or plant some annuals, I wilt like arugula and have to retreat inside. C’est la vie. Today is the longest day in the year, but things should be cooling off after the big storms we had over the weekend. I am grateful we did not lose our power like some unfortunate people.

So a belated Happy Fathers Day to all you good fathers out there and grace to you, and peace, from God our Father.

Let’s go, Daddy-o!

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

*e.e. cummings

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June 14, 2021

“Let the world deride or pity/I will glory in thy name”*

by chuckofish

It was so nice to worship in a full church on Sunday where everyone lustily sang the hymns (mask-free) and listened to the 45 minute sermon. Hallelujah!

In other news, daughter #1 came home on Thursday in order to attend my flyover university retirement event along with the OM and the boy. Because of COVID, events such as this are now limited to 30 people, must be held outside and food cannot be served. Let the festivities begin. There was a giant TV screen set up in the courtyard so a 30-minute video could be shown celebrating moi. However the sun was shining and so the video was unviewable. Everyone huddled under the spindly trees in order to catch a breeze in the humid 95-degree swelter and there was no water served. They gave me a cut crystal vase engraved with “Twenty Years”…

and I couldn’t help thinking of this:

Afterwards we went home and ate lunch and that was nice. The boy and the OM went back to work and daughter #1 and I headed to Club Taco to sit outside and drink Margaritas. It was still very hot though so after awhile we went home and sat in the air conditioning. Ah, summer in St. Louis.

On Friday I had to work (and will continue to do so for the next two weeks.) The boy and his family came over for pizza on Friday night for a frolic before they headed to Florida early on Saturday morning. They made it after an 18-hour drive (held up in Atlanta traffic I guess).

Jealous!

Daughter #1 and I went to an open house at Mudd’s Grove (1859) where our local historical society is housed. We ran into several acquaintances and we had actual conversations with them. It was kind of weird, I must say. No masks!

We went out to lunch (!) and to an estate sale and had what we used to think was just a normal Saturday. Delightful.

While we were out, the OM went to the hardware store and bought a pressure washer. Remember when I joked about that last year? Well, we have one now and, after church on Sunday, we washed our front walk and porch. I have to say, it was pretty fun.

Now I have another busy week. I will pray that I bring glory to God, in word, thought and deed. I will thank God that his mercies are new to me each morning and that his grace is sufficient for all situations I may encounter.

*John Newton (1779)

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