Friends | dual personalities

November 14, 2024

A sheep of thine own fold, a lamb of thine own flock, a sinner of thine own redeeming

by chuckofish

A couple of days ago I received a letter from a man in California writing to tell me his father had died. Bob was one of my former students at my flyover university institute. After a successful career at IBM, he had diligently pursued his hobby of photography and he was, among other things, our unofficial photographer, taking pictures at all events. When he moved to California with his wife in 2010, we had a luncheon for him at our faculty club and he was so touched that we had honored him that way. He was a truly humble man, a man who “went down to his house justified” for sure.

I am blessed to have known quite a few “Bobs” in my life and in my career. They believe(d) in duty, honor, supporting their family and their country, volunteering their time and talent. They were curious lifelong leaners. I remember once running into Bob and his wife on a Saturday trip to WalMart and they were excited because they had worked all morning in the yard and were going to reward themselves with lunch at Steak ‘n Shake. Small pleasures that are earned are best!

I can picture Bob giving his son a list of people to contact after he died to let them know he had passed away. He was organized like that and serious. He had hand addressed the envelope himself. He wanted us to know he hadn’t forgotten us. Nor, hopefully, we him.

Into paradise may the angels lead thee; and at thy coming may the martyrs receive thee, and bring thee into the holy city Jerusalem.

(The painting is by William Mellor, 1851-1931.)

4 Comments

October 10, 2024

Bric-à-brac

by chuckofish

Hard to believe it is October 10th already and we are well on our way to Halloween (or, if you prefer, Reformation Day) and the slide to the end of the year!

Yesterday I had lunch with my friend Ben at his fancy retirement community. We were joined by three other friends who live there which made it almost a party. It was quite enjoyable and a reminder that old friends are best. We talked about poetry and old times and avoided politics.

Speaking of celebrating, today we toast the great Yul Brynner on the anniversary of his death in 1985. Yul was without peer and we will enjoy watching one of his movies.

Shall it be The King and I (1956) or The Magnificent Seven (1960) or The Ten Commandments (1956)?

We are experiencing absolutely beautiful weather here in flyover country and I feel almost guilty considering what those south and east of us are enduring. There but for the grace of God…Here’s an inspiring article about God’s Grace working through the church in the wake of Hurricane Helene.

Daughter #2 sent this picture and it made me chuckle:

And finally, this made me laugh–100 raccoons! ‘Somehow the word got out in raccoon land and they all showed up to her house expecting a meal,’ Kevin McCarty, a spokesperson for the Kitsap County Sheriff, said.

Have a good day and keep praying.

6 Comments

January 15, 2018

“Speak, for your servant is listening.”*

by chuckofish

Visit then this soul of mine, pierce the gloom of sin and grief!

Fill me, radiancy divine; scatter all my unbelief;

More and more thyself display, shining to the perfect day.

–Charles Wesley, hymn #7

Boy, do I love a three-day weekend! Don’t you? Daughter #1 stopped overnight Friday on her way to Indianapolis to meet up with some old college friends who also had had exciting careers in NYC and then moved back to the midwest. Then she stopped last night on her way back to central Missouri. How fun is that? We watched The World of Henry Orient (1964)–“an Upper East Side” movie and one of our faves. It is by far my favorite Peter Sellers movie and the girls in this film are dear to my heart.

(Like all trailers, this one does not quite convey the true idea/flavor of the movie.)

In between I met with my girlfriends to plan a bridal shower in March. Bells are ringing (again)! I puttered around the house putting stuff away. This is what I do and this is what brings me joy.

We had a guest preacher at church on Sunday–the Bishop’s Deputy for Gun Violence Prevention. I thought, oh brother, are we in for it, but he actually preached on MLK (his feast day is April 4, whatever) and tied it into the OT reading. Okay, then.

The wee babes came over on Sunday night for dinner and to show us their new haircuts.

That face!

Their mother loves to take them to have their locks shorn–I’m not sure why and neither are they.

But mine is not to reason why. They are adorable regardless.

Here are a few things from the internet:

This was interesting. #6 is particularly true–especially for those of us with scary RBF**: “Remember to smile. It will brighten your aspect and your voice, and serve as a corrective to the inevitable facial droop.”

I couldn’t agree more with this. Bravo.

Have a great week.

Thanks be to Thee, my Lord Jesus Christ, for all the benefits which Thou has given me, for all the pains and insults which Thou hast borne for me, O most merciful Redeemer, Friend and brother, may I know Thee more clearly, love Thee more dearly, and follow Thee more nearly, day by day.

–St. Richard of Chichester

*I Samuel 3:10

**Resting Bitch Face

3 Comments

October 12, 2015

Sing a song of seasons!*

by chuckofish

I had a very busy weekend. I went to a “Vintage Market Days” fair with my friends.

I went to an estate sale where I bought this little guy.

I bought a pumpkin at the neighborhood Methodist Church.

They were rockin’ it big time this year with face painting and a bouncy house and music–the whole nine yards. I just bought a pumpkin and regretted once again that I am not cool enough to be a Methodist.

I went out to dinner with the OM and some old friends. When we got home Bullitt was on TV, so I enjoyed an hour of Steve before falling asleep.

I went to church an hour early so that I could meet my “mentee” in the youth group room at church with the other confirmation mentors. I babbled like an idiot. Mine is a well-adjusted eighth grader who plays tennis and likes math–way ahead of me at that age–although I must say they all seemed so young and vulnerable. Especially the boys.

After church I cleaned my house up and made Episcopal Soufflé for my buddies who came over for dinner.

And now I’m back at the salt mine! Phew. Have a good week.

*Robert Louis Stevenson

4 Comments

May 4, 2015

Weekend adventures

by chuckofish

On Saturday my girlfriends took me on a belated birthday adventure to the Shaw Nature Reserve in Grey Summit, which is part of the Missouri Botanical Garden. We walked around the Whitmire Wildflower Garden.

As you can see–absolutely beautiful!

From here we ventured to Washington, Missouri to have lunch at the Blue Duck Restaurant where we sat outside and enjoyed a lovely lunch and a view of the Missouri River.

To top off the day we stopped at–where else–an antique mall. Just perfect. Thanks, ladies!

Old ladies attempting a selfie. Haha.

Inspired by our adventure, I worked in the yard on Sunday and planted some geraniums in pots. My mother always thought geraniums were a bit bourgeois, and perhaps they are. Nevertheless, I like them. Don’t you? They are so low-maintenance and generous.

I also went to the Annual St. Louis Fine Print, Rare Book & Paper Arts Fair, presented by the Mercantile Library up at UMSL on Friday evening. It was right up my alley. All the exhibitors had great stuff, but nothing that my budget could handle. I bought a few used books at the Mercantile Library table and was quite content.

And on Sunday the OM and I went to Ted Drewe’s. A good weekend. How was your’s?

Have a good Monday!

5 Comments

June 4, 2014

“You give such charming parties, Mr. Charles.”*

by chuckofish

Oh boy, quelle weekend! Never have I been to such a multi-day nuptial event. It was so well organized and perfect and, at the same time, unpretentious. But I shouldn’t be surprised. That sort of describes my friend whose daughter got married.

[Let me interject here that I did not spend my time taking pictures. A few times I hauled out my iPhone to snap something when I remembered my blog, but mostly I forgot. I took my good camera to the Botanical Garden and that was it. Mea culpa.]

My two daughters and I rendesvous-ed in College Park, spending one night at daughter #1’s cool pad where we toasted the weekend with custom cocktails by Nate, which was appropriate, because we proceeded to toast everything all weekend. It was that kind of weekend. Daughter #2 cooked and that is always a reason to celebrate as well.

We shoved off bright and early on Friday morning in order to reach Norfolk in time for the 2nd party (we missed the first one on Thursday night) which was a luncheon and cruise onboard a three-masted schooner.

Yes, amazing, right? We reacquainted ourselves with old friends.

After tooling around Norfolk Harbor for a couple of hours, we headed back to our waterside hotel and all fell deeply asleep. (I dreamed that the old man–who, by the way, was at a conference and not the wedding–held an estate sale and sold all my stuff, but that’s another story.)

We awoke in time to get dressed to go out to dinner before changing again for party #3 at a private club down the street. Sorry, I only recorded the view out the window.

The next day we headed to the Norfolk Botanical Garden which was fabulous. We walked all around and then hopped on the tram for a second time around.

See the turtle?

Adorable that we packed the same outfit, right?

After departing the Garden we found a great place to have lunch and drank a pitcher of Sangria. Then we proceeded to get ready for the main event.

Don’t worry–we were hydrating.

We boarded a double decker tour bus for the church and the lovely ceremony. Do I have a picture of the bride and groom? Of course not. (But there was no picture taking in the church anyway.) Oh well, take my word for it–they were like the couple on the top of the cake.

We got back on the bus and headed to the reception at the Yacht Club. Picture perfect and a band that played everything from Motown to Pharrell. The guests danced for hours. I think I did too.

There was an after party, but I did not attend. I bid adieu to the young folks who have more stamina than I. The next day we packed our bags

and headed over to party #4–brunch at the lovely home of the bride’s parents.

The bride’s mother was planning to go to work the next day. Hello.

Thankfully we are a bit out of focus.

We hopped in the car and hit the road again. Sigh.

The Thin Man (1934) of course

6 Comments

May 5, 2014

“If I dressed like that, I’d have to kick my own ass.”*

by chuckofish

So I survived my reunion.

I must say, it was even fun. (The wine flowed freely.)

Friday night we all got together for a gabfest. The decibel level was out of this world. There was cake too!

On Saturday two of my good friends ventured down to my flyover town and we ate lunch outside at a restaurant across from the train station and watched the trains go by. Then, at their insistence, we went to Ted Drewes for concretes which they do not have back east.

They were impressed, of course.

Saturday night we MI gals celebrated together with our Country Day compatriots (40 years ago the two schools were happily separate) at the beautiful and palatial home of one of their classmates. It was a fun party too.

Even the OM had fun. And why wouldn’t he?

The OM enjoys the highly stimulating environment

He had more fun than last year at his own reunion.

In other news I went to church and got to read the first lesson, which was a good one from the book of Acts in which Peter exhorts the Jews to repent! Right up my alley. Afterwards the boy came over and we caught up. Then I talked to daughters # 1 and 2 on the phone–more gabbing!

I worked in the yard and my little pumpkin project seems to be moving forward.

I hope the marigolds will scare away nibblers.

How was your weekend?

•Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)

5 Comments

May 2, 2014

Palmam qui meruit ferat*

by chuckofish

Here are the Junior and Senior Kindergarten classes of Mary Institute in 1960-61. (Click on the picture to enlarge it.)

I am the dark-haired squirt in the middle of the front row. There are 23 of us in the Jr. K class. Fourteen of us original girls graduated in a class of fifty thirteen years later.

I hear that there will be 36 of us attending our 40th reunion this weekend. Oy.

So wish me luck this weekend. Why are reunions so stressful? I think we all need to pat ourselves on the back for surviving high school and moving on.

In other news, my pumpkin seedlings are coming along nicely and will be ready to plant soon.

I still love to watch the miracle of seeds planted in soil push their way up through the dirt. Just like in Jr. Kindergarten!

Have a good weekend!

* “Let whoever earns the palm bear it.”

8 Comments

February 3, 2014

‘If Candlemas be bright and clear There’ll be two winters in that year’*

by chuckofish

It rained all day Saturday, so I stayed home and puttered around the house. I would probably not have ventured out at all, but the old man and I had tickets to attend the “Elegant Italian Dinner” at our church.

Every year the youth of the parish (and their parents) put on this dinner to raise money for their annual spring mission trip. Frighteningly, this was the nineteenth such dinner. All three of my children participated in this dinner and so did I–usually in the kitchen, serving up the plates and washing dishes.

So now it is nice to go and sit at a table with friends and be on the receiving end.

Everyone comes to this party and by Everyone I mean even the Old Man.

It is always the same menu: salad and lasagna and Italian bread with some fancy desserts thrown in. “Elegant” means they use real china and hang up some strings of twinkly white lights in Albright Hall. There are checkered tableclothes and candles in chianti bottles. You get the picture. The teenage waiters wear white shirts, black pants and bow ties. Oh my.

Everyone goes home at 9 o’clock. And, thank you, I would rather attend this function than any society ball or self-aggrandizing academic ceremony you can name.

On Sunday we watched the Super Bowl with some other like-minded, football-indifferent friends. I rooted for Peyton Manning and his Broncos, but was uninvested really in the outcome. (Ever since the Rams lost that heart-breaker in Super Bowl XXXVI and Kurt Warner moved to Phoenix, I haven’t cared much about football.) It was a major bummer, nevertheless, that Peyton’s team lost and lost Big Time, but oh well. It is just football. We enjoyed seeing our hometown Clydesdales in the latest AB commercial. However, my favorite (besides the Oikos Full House reunion) was the Go Daddy commercial with the running bodybuilders.

Now our local weather wizards are saying we’ll have more snow this week. But Candlemas was dark and dreary, so I hope that means that we will NOT have two winters. However, I see that Punxsutawney Phil predicted six more weeks of winter, much to the chagrin of everyone hoping for an early spring. Conflicting superstitions. C’est la vie.

How was your weekend?

* Charles Causley

12 Comments

January 22, 2014

Tout va bien

by chuckofish

One of my favorite bloggers was cogitating the other day on the question: “If you could give one piece of advice to your teenage self, what would it be?” This is pretty funny considering old Leandra is still in her early twenties.

Looking back over a much longer expanse of years (!), I would have plenty to say to the poor, pitiful, mini-skirted me of the 1970s.

Striped knee socks were cool! Really.

My 40th high school reunion is coming up this May, so I have actually been thinking about it.

First and Foremost: Do not worry so much about what other people think of you! My dual personality never worried about this, and for years she would say to me in a tone of mild disgust, “Why do you care what other people think?” Well, I don’t know why, but I just did. Some people are born caring about that.

It is, however, another one of those things you can train yourself not to do. But it takes years and a lot of effort. Well into my fifties now, I have pretty much succeeded in doing so and not caring is, indeed, freeing.

I think Holden Caulfield suffered from this too:

“I was sixteen then, and I’m seventeen now, and sometimes I act like I’m about thirteen. Sometimes, I act a lot older than I am–I really do. But people never notice it. People never notice anything.”*

I could relate back then, and I still do. Isn’t it natural to want recognition? I certainly did as a teenager. Other people always seemed to get the credit. Our headmaster once even thanked another girl for heading up some event for which I was co-chair. He was a doofus, but it was typical. Oh well, c’est la vie. By the time I graduated from high school, I couldn’t wait to leave, and that is as it should be.

I have learned though that ultimately none of it matters. Not in the long run. And the old saying about how you can get a lot done if you don’t care who gets the credit, is SO true. I embrace it.

Is this what Jung meant when he wrote, “The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it.”

What would you tell your teenage self?

* The Catcher in the Rye

7 Comments

Tag: Friends

by chuckofish

by chuckofish

by chuckofish

by chuckofish

by chuckofish

by chuckofish

by chuckofish

by chuckofish

by chuckofish

by chuckofish