dual personalities

Bloggers are fond of asking themselves this question. The glossy home magazines endlessly try to answer this question.

1. For me, a house has to look lived in. Clearly the home is a reflection of the people who live in it. So if the house doesn’t even looked lived in, how can it be beautiful? Thank goodness, perfection is not the answer.

2. A home needs lots of art on the walls. My mother taught me that you should only have “original” art on the first floor. Prints, posters and the like belong upstairs. I get that. She considered old family photographs as art. But definitely not new photographs, i.e. school pictures. Art is a very personal thing and it always amazes me when people have decorators pick art for them to hang on their walls.

3. I like a mix of antiques and new furniture. My mother abhorred “suites” of furniture, i.e. sets bought all together. She said that if you collect antiques or vintage furniture, nothing will match and you will have different periods and styles represented. And that’s okay.

4. I like plants. I probably have too many, but a punch of green in every room is a necessity. They also clean the air!

5. Books! I know a lot of people think books are dust-attracters and a waste of money when there are libraries and kindles out there, but, gee, a home is neither beautiful nor lived-in without books. You either get that or you don’t. However, using books as a decorating prop is a no-no in my opinion.

6. I love dishes–old, new, whatever. I like to display them. I remember frequently going to the furniture store (which was next door to the grocery store) with my mother to gaze at the china displays. We would say, “Oh, I like that pattern!” and “Oh, isn’t that one pretty?!” This, of course, is how you teach your children to appreciate beautiful things. It’s not about buying things, but learning to look at things and see them and discriminate between the beautiful and the average. It’s like going to art museums to look at the art and saying, “I like that!” You learn to have an opinion.

7. Fresh flowers.

8. Needlework: samplers, needlepoint pillows, lovely bed linens–especially when made by people we love.

This, of course, is my list and I do not mean to imply that someone who loves a match-matchy house with lots of family pictures in the living room and no books is wrong. As daughter #1 says, “It is just not my aesthetic.” People should decorate to suit themselves.

As you can tell, I was much influenced by my mother, who (I think) had great taste. She learned a lot from her mother, but she really had a sense of style that far surpassed anyone else in her family. Where did that come from? I don’t know. She understood what a “tableau” or “vignette” was long before they became decorating watchwords. She never had much money to spend on her home, but she did her best to make it beautiful.

The great Albert Hadley once said: “Decorating is not about making stage sets, it’s not about making pretty pictures for the magazines; it’s really about creating a quality of life, a beauty that nourishes the soul.”

I agree. My mother would have agreed too. Furthermore, I am grateful for my home and for the people who live/have lived in it. A sense of gratitude also adds to the beauty of a home, don’t you think?