dual personalities

Tag: family

Swiftly fly the years

by chuckofish

As some of you know, I am a big fan of Fiddler on the Roof—ever since the boy played Tevye so masterfully in the eighth grade. Oy.

fiddler

Can I help it if that old chestnut “Sunrise/Sunset” frequently comes to mind?

Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly flow the days
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers
Blossoming even as we gaze

Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly fly the years
One season following another
Laden with happiness and tears

Well, this was the case when I came across this photo on Facebook of glamorous twenty-somethings celebrating a birthday this weekend in NYC:

Two Marys, an Allan and a Jane

Two Marys, an Allan and a Jane

Talk about blossoming into sunflowers! Here are three of them a few years earlier (the youngest was not born yet):

Two Marys and an Allan circa 1987

Two Marys and an Allan circa 1987

C’mon, a mother is allowed to get a little misty-eyed now and then.

(I have blogged about “the Marys” before here). Oy.

She’s a pilgrim living in the modern time

by chuckofish

Oh my goodness. I got some good new music for my birthday! Thank you to my dual personality who gave me This Empty Northern Hemisphere by Gregory Alan Isakov.

Gregory Alan Isakov is a singer-songwriter. Born in Johannesburg, South Africa, he emigrated to the United States as a child, and was raised in Philadelphia. I sure do like him!

Meanwhile Calhoun County has been declared a disaster area. (Flooding on the line.)

And this guy is under water again:

UPI.com

UPI.com

Here is the statue of Lewis and Clark and their big ol’ dog when the river is not flooding:

"Captain's Return," by Harry Weber

“Captain’s Return,” by Harry Weber

Ah, but where was I? Good music for my birthday. But don’t worry–I will tie it all together:

“The world is so empty if one thinks only of mountains, rivers and cities; but to know someone who thinks and feels with us, and who, though distant, is close to us in spirit, this makes the earth for us an inhabited garden.”

― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Time like an ever rolling stream

by chuckofish

straw

I had a lovely birthday weekend filled with good meals, yummy treats, red wine, new books, DVDs and CDs, friends and family.

dunkin

By the end of the weekend I was exhausted and really need another day to recover…but, alas, it’s off to the salt mines for me this morning.

I will leave you with this picture of the boy and his bride, chaperoning the high school prom! Although they have known each other since they were three years old, they never went to a prom together…until Saturday. Aren’t they cute? The boy is a regular 007!

prom

How was your weekend? Happy Monday!

You don’t say!

by chuckofish

Here’s something very interesting I found on the wonderful Design Mom blog. This article in The New York Times tells us that new research shows that “the single most important thing you can do for your family may be the simplest of all: develop a strong family narrative.”

Well, duh.

Kids who know a lot about their families “tend to do better when they face challenges.”

This does not surprise me, but it’s nice, I suppose, to have it officially validated.

The Camerons were a devout family who kept the sabbath.

The Camerons were a devout family who kept the sabbath.

The more children know about their family’s history, the stronger their sense of self-control, the higher their self-esteem. The researchers were “blown away” by this. Not I.

We agree with this ancestor who famously said, "God grants liberty only to those who love it, and are always ready to guard and defend it."

We agree with this ancestor who famously said, “God grants liberty only to those who love it, and are always ready to guard and defend it.”

The “oscillating family narrative” is the healthiest, the article goes on to say. You know, we’ve had our set-backs, but this family has always stuck together through thick and thin…That kind of thing.

Pretty Ida Mae Hough died when she was nineteen.

Pretty Ida Mae Hough died when she was nineteen.

The key is really just talking to your kids. It’s hard to imagine that people don’t actually do that, but I guess they don’t.

The article goes on to advise that families work on ways to convey a sense of history: holidays, vacations, big family get-togethers. This got me thinking about our own little family traditions, such as “Compton Family Fun Night,” which consisted of every Friday going to Steak ‘N Shake for dinner and then on to Sam’s Club to buy groceries in bulk. We got the idea for the name from “Tanner Family Fun Night” on Full House, of course.

Role models

Role models

The Tanners would always do something super-fun like going roller skating or to an arcade. But it just goes to show you that all that is unnecessary–a trip to the big box store, if labeled “Fun Night”–can be just that. Good times, man!

Well-adjusted kids with plenty of self-esteem...

Well-adjusted kids with plenty of self-esteem…

You can see how this works in an elementary school child’s psyche. It gives a positive and fun spin to routine activities that thereby become special to your family. All is okay in the world.

Another “tradition” in our family is that when pulling into our street and/or driveway I would always say “Home again, home again, jiggety jig!” I did this because my mother always did. I think she did because her mother did. (I still think it every time I get home. Yes, I am that crazy old lady.) I have no doubt that at least one of my children will unconsciously do it as well.

In our family we have always loved our ancestors. Anyone who reads this blog knows that! It’s not that our ancestors are better than anyone else’s. It’s that they are ours. In all their eccentricities, they belong to us.

An elderly John Simpson Hough wearing Kit Carson's hunting coat which he willed to John back in the good ol' days.

An elderly John Simpson Hough wearing Kit Carson’s hunting coat which he willed to John back in the good ol’ days.

We do know where we come from. And, see, that’s a good thing!

Fat Baby Friday

by chuckofish

RPC1

Fat Baby Friday returns! Here’s a picture of my life partner circa 1955. Poor kid looks like a turtle trying to right himself.

RPC2

Here he is a year or so later bright-eyed and ready for boarding school. Sunrise, sunset. Where do the years go?

Have a great weekend!

Welcome, happy morning!

by chuckofish

Easter turned out to be a lovely day in our flyover town. Warm and sunny. The boy and his bride joined us at church. We were surrounded by small children. They were adorable in their Women’s Exchange finery, but very distracting. I didn’t get a whole lot out of the service, but oh well. It was nice just to be in a (full) church with my family (such as it is with the daughters so far away).

The boy’s Best Man was in town with his girlfriend and they were also at church.

friends

After church we went to Easter brunch at the boy’s in-laws. I brought the dollar rolls and the sticky buns. I did not give the boy a basket this year since he is all grown up, but I had to give him some of these:

wrc

I worked in the yard a little when I got home, but since I hurt my back last weekend shoveling snow(!), I couldn’t do much. But it was nice to be outside, soaking up the vitamin D.

I spent a good part of this Easter weekend watching Ben Hur. My husband surprised me with the fancy 50th Anniversary boxed set (on super sale since that was 4 years ago!) Blu-Ray edition of the film–complete with a book about the making of the movie, a facsimile of Charlton Heston’s diary and a whole disc of special features.

IMGP0664

Never since the old Lord of the Rings days have I felt like such a nerd. But a happy nerd.

How was your weekend?

Here is the King’s College Cambridge version of one of my favorite Easter hymns which we never sing at church.. It does not include verse 4–my favorite–but I could not find the Radney Foster rendition.

“In my opinion, too much attention to weather makes for instability of character.” *

by chuckofish

In weather news the National Weather Service said 12.4 inches fell here on Sunday, beating the one-day record for St. Louis of 12.1 inches set one hundred years ago on March 24, 1912. Woohoo! The high Monday reached the mid 30s, compared with a high of 76 degrees a year ago on that date and 59 the normal high on March 25.

Yesterday I decided to venture forth into our flyover landscape which was draped in the fluffy white stuff. I decided that such an expedition warranted the wearing of my size 5 1/2 Fabiano hiking boots that I wore everyday when I was a junior at Williams College back in the day. They are one of the few things that still fits from my college days–haha! As you can imagine, I do not have many occasions to wear them anymore.

boots

Tromping about in the snow is one of my favorite things to do, and there was much to see in the winter wonderland that is our yard.

This is a flower pot on the front porch:

snowhole

I wonder how the birds are who live in this rhododendron bush?

heavysnow

This chair looks like it is upholstered in snow!

photo-4

I guess these guys will have to wait a little longer to adorn the garden.

photo-3

“You wake up on a winter morning and pull up the shade, and what lay there the evening before is no longer there–the sodden gray yard, the dog droppings, the tire tracks in the frozen mud, the broken lawn chair you forgot to take in last fall. All this has disappeared overnight, and what you look out on is not the snow of Narnia but the snow of home, which is no less shimmering and white as it falls. The earth is covered with it, and it is falling still in silence so deep that you can hear its silence. It is snow to be shoveled, to make driving even worse than usual, snow to be joked about and cursed at, but unless the child in you is entirely dead, it is snow, too, that can make the heart beat faster when it catches you by surprise that way, before your defenses are up. It is snow that can awaken memories of things more wonderful than anything you ever knew or dreamed.”

― Frederick Buechner, Telling the Truth: The Gospel as Tragedy, Comedy, and Fairy Tale

The dual personalities frolicking in the snow circa 1964

The dual personalities frolicking in the snow with their older brother circa 1964

Let it snow! We’ll be roasting here before you know it.

*Elizabeth Goudge, The Little White Horse

Rock of ages

by chuckofish

5StPeterLadue

Yesterday I went to a “Service of Thanksgiving” for the life of the father of a friend of mine who died the day after his 95th birthday. The funeral was at the church we went to together when I was growing up. They stayed; we left. I have been a member of two churches since, but I am seriously considering going back. I like the plain windows that let the sunshine in and the total lack of iconography.

Anyway, this man had an amazing life. According to his obit in the paper, he was president of his senior class and “the lead in several high school musicals”. He graduated from college in 1939 (!) and then spent 5 years in the U.S. Army during WWII. He finished the war as a Major, having taken part in D-Day and the Battle of the Bulge. He had a very successful career and served as the president of his country club and on the vestry of his church (where he was a member for over 60 years), as well as on multiple boards.

I knew him as a cheerful, kind man, who always knew my name. He was an authority figure who knew his duty. He took care of his family, was present, but not overly involved. His children were all devoted to him.

Best friends in third grade--1965--I was giggling in this picture as I usually was when in her company.

Best friends in third grade–1965–I was giggling in this picture as I usually was when in her company.

His wife, of course, did not work. She kept the home fires burning. Their house was impeccable and so was she. She still is!

Times have changed. It’s a different world. Maybe it’s better, maybe not. I can’t help wondering who is going to take the place of men like this. I knew lots of men like him back in the day. I miss them.

P.S. The funeral was your basic Episcopal memorial service (sans communion). Included were excellent scripture choices (KJV) and good hymns, although the organist charged through them like he was in a hurry. But oh well.

I sing a song of the saints of God,
Patient and brave and true,
Who toiled and fought and lived and died
For the Lord they loved and knew.
And one was a doctor, and one was a queen,
And one was a shepherdess on the green;
They were all of them saints of God, and I mean,
God helping, to be one too.

They loved their Lord so dear, so dear,
And his love made them strong;
And they followed the right for Jesus’ sake
The whole of their good lives long.
And one was a soldier, and one was a priest,
And one was slain by a fierce wild beast;
And there’s not any reason, no, not the least,
Why I shouldn’t be one too.

They lived not only in ages past,
There are hundreds of thousands still.
The world is bright with the joyous saints
Who love to do Jesus’ will.
You can meet them in school, or in lanes, or at sea,
In church, or in trains, or in shops, or at tea;
For the saints of God are just folk like me,
And I mean to be one too.

Tout va bien

by chuckofish

IMGP0433

“Maybe it’s all utterly meaningless. Maybe it’s all unutterably meaningful. If you want to know which, pay attention to what it means to be truly human in a world that half the time we’re in love with and half the time scares the hell out of us. Any fiction that helps us pay attention to that is religious fiction. The unexpected sound of your name on somebody’s lips. The good dream. The strange coincidence. The moment that brings tears to your eyes. The person who brings life to your life. Even the smallest events hold the greatest clues.”
–Frederick Buechner

Use it or lose it

by chuckofish

Today’s lesson is one I have learned over the years: stop saving things for later! Use them now. I learn this every weekend anew when I go to estate sales and there are linens galore that have been put away “for later” or for “company” and then never used.

I was reminded of this again when I received a vintage linen kitchen towel in the mail that I had won on eBay. (Yes, I also collect these.)

towel1

It had clearly never been used. It even sported the original Woodward and Lothrop price tag pinned to it. How long has it been since they pinned on price tags? Or, for that matter, since anything cost a dollar? Or since Woodward and Lothrop closed its doors?

tag1

I say, use the good china! Light the candles! Bring out the cloth napkins! When my kids were growing up, we always did. It gives meals a certain gravitas and everyday elegance which is lacking in our do-it-fast, throw-away world. There is no denying that even McDonalds hamburgers taste better on Wedgwood.

On another note, I went to the book fair at our local Unitarian Church this weekend. It is my experience that Unitarians and “ethical humanists” in general, have the best book sales, and once again I came away with two bulging bags of books. Some of them are duplicates and I will send them off to daughters #1 and #2.

book1

But quite a few I bought for myself. Ah, such a satisfying (and cheap) indulgence!

books2

It is, however, difficult to decide what to read after reading three novels by Willa Cather. I mean how do you follow that? I may have to resort to some mindless fun like this:

elmoreL

In other news, the boy, who is the head coach of the J.V. lacrosse team of one of our local public high schools–one known, let us say, more for its academic prowess than for its sports prowess–led his team to victory (in overtime) in their first game. (And the game was against a R.C. school, known conversely for being a sporting powerhouse.)

lax

Way to go, Hounds! (Greyhounds, that is, not Hounds of Hell–that would be the other team. But now I am mixing up my religious orders. Mea culpa.)

What did you do this weekend?