dual personalities

Tag: family

“Flow gently, sweet Afton, disturb not her dream”*

by chuckofish

As my dual personality mentioned last weekend, this is the birthday month of our grandmother Catherine Carnahan Cameron. I have searched high and low and cannot come up with the date of her birth in 1900, but it was probably this week. She also died in September, a few days after her 67th birthday.

You will recall that my great-grandparents had five children, the youngest of which was our maternal grandmother. Named after her two grandmothers, Mary Hough and Catherine Rand Carnahan, she was considered the family beauty–and by one of her sisters to be spoiled.

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Catherine in 1917

My mother and her sisters always rejected this latter claim vociferously. They did not take kindly to anyone criticizing their mother.

She was brought up a strict Baptist in a deeply religious family. Her family observed the sabbath and no smoking, drinking, dancing, etc. was allowed ever. Not surprisingly, she fell in love with our wild grandfather and eloped with him in September of 1921.

She was raised to be a lady, but she was also trained to take care of herself and she believed in women’s equality. She never worked at a paid job, but she was the treasurer of every women’s club she belonged to (and she was quite a club-woman) and the first female treasurer of her large Baptist church in Worcester, MA. She also kept the books of her husband’s lumber company, and it is my belief that when Bunker faltered–as he did from time to time– she pulled the business through the hard years of the depression and WWII.

She had her own money and her own (female) stockbroker. She had a female doctor and a female lawyer. She believed, however, that a married woman with children should stay home. Today she would probably be the president of some bank. I have no idea what became of that accounting gene, but it got lost in my branch of the family!

I wish I had known my grandmother better. We always lived far away in flyover country and only got back to Massachusetts once in a blue moon. She and my grandfather only visited us once and they stayed for just a few days–our grandmother had meetings back at home she didn’t want to miss. Our mother was devoted to her and missed her a lot. On the other hand, I think she liked “doing her own thing”. She would have had a hard time living up to her mother’s high standards. I remember she told me once that her mother always wore a girdle, stockings and high heels every day. Well.

Catherine Cameron (right) in New Hampshire in 1963

Catherine Cameron (right) in New Hampshire in 1963

Catherine did her best to keep in touch via letter, but our mother was a terrible letter-writer, and it must have been frustrating for her. Frequently my grandmother would write to me, because I wrote her back. I think she meant this as a bit of a dig to our mother, hoping to encourage her to improve her habits.  It didn’t work.

She was not an outwardly warm person, but once she sent me the spoon I had admired when visiting her house and had insisted on using every morning to eat my cereal. I thought that showed that she had noticed and that she cared.

I still have that spoon–of course.

P.S. My movie pick for tonight is Ninotchka (1939) in honor of Greta Garbo whose birthday was yesterday.

Garbo with Melvyn Douglas finding love in Paris

Garbo with Melvyn Douglas finding love in Paris

If you haven’t seen Ninotchka, you are in for a treat! It’s the one where “Garbo laughs!” Directed by Ernst Lubitsch and written by Billy Wilder and Charles Brackett, it is one of the great comedies of all time. Garbo plays a stern Russian (Communist) woman sent to Paris on official business who finds herself attracted to a man who represents everything she is supposed to detest. If you have seen it, you are in for a treat, because its humor is as timeless as Garbo’s beauty.

Our mother loved this movie and raved about it to us growing up. We finally got an opportunity to see it when they were showing it at some film series at Washington University. We walked up to the campus to see it and I think our mother was a little nervous, fearing that she had built it up too much. But, of course, we all loved it too.

*Robert Burns, Sweet Afton

 

“Don’t look at your feet to see if you are doing it right. Just dance.”*

by chuckofish

So did everyone watch Dancing With the Stars on Monday  night? As you know, I am not a fan of reality television, but I do sometimes get caught up in watch DWTS.

Since I was already depressed by daughter #1’s exit to the big city, I figured I would be a couch potato and check out DWTS. And I admit–I enjoyed it! Yes,  it is pretty low-brow, but one can’t read the Psalms by candlelight every night. Also, I had the 4-way texting thing going with my children, which definitely raises the enjoyment level ten-fold. Even daughter #1, who was at work, had it on, because it is, after all, an ABC show! (The boy was watching some game, but he threw in a comment or two about Lolo Jones.)

Okay, so my faves are:

of course, Sadie Robertson, Duck Dynasty heiress. She is another untrained natural, like Kellie Pickler, who is great to watch. (And I love her parents in the audience.)

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Sadie and her dad

Jonathan Bennett, the cutie from Mean Girls whom my daughters derided, but it is probably a case of methinks-the-lady-doth-protest-too-much;

and Alfonso Ribeiro was quite the dancer–and props for not doing the Carleton!

But I am very disappointed that Lolo Jones didn’t make it to the second week. She is so beautiful and talented! And that is what is so stupid about this show–she is off and Betsy Johnson, Tommy Chong and Michael Waltrip are still on!

For now, I am on Team Sadie. How about you?

*Anne Lamott

“You’re lucky if you get time to sneeze in this goddam phenomenal world.” *

by chuckofish

I am very grateful that daughter #1 came home for a whole nine days. She is one busy lady, as you know, and so for her to come home is a big deal.

But I guess in this “goddam phenomenal world” it is still a treat to sit on the couch and watch a lot of Buffy with your mother.

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It is certainly a treat for me.

Besides celebrating her birthday,

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we had beers at the Boathouse with the boy.

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We watched our hometown parade.

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KHS marching band–huzzah!

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As usual, the Methodists were the coolest

As usual, the Methodists were the coolest

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We hung out with the church ladies

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and we watched the hometown band perform at the hometown festival.

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Andrew and Mark, we remember you when!

We went to church and afterwards we visited some old pals at Grant’s Farm.

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We watched Rio Bravo (1959)

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AND El Dorado (1966).

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Yes, the apple does not fall far from this nerd tree. Thank goodness.

*Franny and Zooey

 

“Velvet I can wish you for the collar of your coat”*

by chuckofish

marysleepingAs you know, daughter #1, the over-worked television producer, has been taking it easy at home this week, relaxing as one only truly can at home.

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“The Song” by William Merritt Chase

We are having fun watching reality TV and visiting our incredible flyover grocery stores. Tonight we will celebrate her Big Birthday with a backyard bar-b-que, the OM grilling, and with the boy and his bride attending. Beforehand, daughter #1 and I plan to pre-game at Grant’s Farm

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“The Lantern Bearers” by Maxfield Parrish

Good times. Happy Birthday to our cupcake of love!

*”More I Cannot Wish You” from Guys and Dolls

For the wonder state we’ll sing a song*

by chuckofish

On Sunday Daughter #1 and I drove down to Bentonville, Arkansas

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Love those Missouri rest stops.

and visited the Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art.

The museum, founded by Alice Walton and designed by Moshe Safdie, officially opened on November 11, 2011. I had heard rave reviews of it from several people so I have been anxious to go. And I like road trips–even when I am the driver.

Bentonville is, indeed, a lovely town, built around a square in the southern tradition, with a monument to Confederate Soldiers in the center.

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The town appears to be thriving–supported by copious amounts of Wal-Mart money–but it is a real town, not a Disney immitation. It is lushly landscaped and full of friendly locals who say hello and smile.

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The Museum itself is impressive.

An "Official" photo of the museum at night when it looks best.

An “official” photo of the museum at night when it looks best.

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Another professional photo–but here the murky water cannot be hidden.

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My photo.

The design is “cool” but the concrete is not aging well–it never does. I am not a fan of the “brutalist” look. I mean, three years old and it looks terrible! Oh well. The inside is beautiful and full of an impressive art collection. We saw many wonderful American paintings–many famous ones that it was a thrill to see up close.

"Kindred Spirits" by Asher B. Durand

“Kindred Spirits” by Asher B. Durand

Daughter #1 and I had a marvelous time driving, talking, eating, drinking, looking at art, buying postcards, walking on the lovely nature trails. And that’s what the trip was really all about.

*”The Arkansas Traveler”

Tout va bien

by chuckofish

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So I am back from adventuring in Arkansas with daughter #1. But you will have to wait til tomorrow to hear about it I’m afraid. Suffice it to say, we had a super fun time. And I drove the whole way–363 miles, 5 hours each way!

Yay me.

She’ll be coming ’round the mountain

by chuckofish

Mary on Bike

So daughter #1 is coming home tomorrow for a little flyover R&R. She is also celebrating a big birthday.

Good times ahead.

P.S. We must note that Joan Rivers has died, but I couldn’t say it better than daughter #1 did on her blog. RIP, Joan.

Upward and onward

by chuckofish

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I went to a funeral this weekend. It was at the church where I grew up and it was filled with a familiar crowd of people. The man who died was the father of four, all classmates of mine, the OM and my dual personality. There were 14 grandchildren and one great-grandchild–a fine, handsome family–good people.

It was the Rite I version of the Episcopal service without communion and included three hymns, one being “Once to Every Man and Nation” which I had not sung in a long time.

Once to every man and nation, comes the moment to decide,
In the strife of truth with falsehood, for the good or evil side;
Some great cause, some great decision, offering each the bloom or blight,
And the choice goes by forever, ’twixt that darkness and that light.

Then to side with truth is noble, when we share her wretched crust,
Ere her cause bring fame and profit, and ’tis prosperous to be just;
Then it is the brave man chooses while the coward stands aside,
Till the multitude make virtue of the faith they had denied.

By the light of burning martyrs, Christ, Thy bleeding feet we track,
Toiling up new Calv’ries ever with the cross that turns not back;
New occasions teach new duties, time makes ancient good uncouth,
They must upward still and onward, who would keep abreast of truth.

Though the cause of evil prosper, yet the truth alone is strong;
Though her portion be the scaffold, and upon the throne be wrong;
Yet that scaffold sways the future, and behind the dim unknown,
Standeth God within the shadow, keeping watch above His own.

Old James Russell Lowell–I gotta love you.

But I bet the clergy were cringing. This hymn is not even in our hymnal any more. It was printed in the leaflet. As I recall we used to sing it occasionally at my school–it was in that hymnal. Well, time makes ancient good uncouth…

Back at church on Sunday I was heartened to hear our rector give a sermon on the Gospel, which was Matthew 16:13-20, where Jesus asks Peter “Who do you say that I am?” For once, Peter gets it right: “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” The rector talked about how many professing Christians are really atheists who do not live their beliefs or actually walk the walk. But the bottom line, which he did not address, is that many Christians, including many members of the clergy, don’t seem to believe in anything anymore. You know, it’s all just a nice story. Jesus was just a social reformer trying to create a just society. They love “the symbolism of the Resurrection.” And as one fatuous misguided intern wrote in our diocesan newspaper, our “religion is just about being in one big love affair with God and Creation.” Ugh.

Well, it was good to be back in the pew after a few weeks off and it was fun to see the families and little kids back at church. We had ice cream to celebrate.

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And our organist/choirmaster took the ALS challenge and was doused with ice water after church. Oh boy.

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Before

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After

True summer weather (finally) descended on us last week with temperatures pushing 100 and the heat index out of sight. But summer is coming to an end…Labor Day is a week from today! Good grief, Charlie Brown. Our (relatively) lazy days are getting busier and busier.

Can autumn be far behind?

Tout va bien.

 

“Fame you’ll be famous, as famous as can be, with everyone watching you win on TV, Except when they don’t because sometimes they won’t…”*

by chuckofish

Read the newspaper. What does it say? All bad. It’s all bad. People have forgotten what life is all about. They’ve forgotten what it is to be alive. They need to be reminded. They need to be reminded of what they have and what they can lose. What I feel is the joy of life, the gift of life, the freedom of life, the wonderment of life!

Leonard Lowe, Awakenings (1990)

Well, I am very sad about the suicide of Robin Williams earlier in the week. He seems to have succumbed to despair.

Robin and I go a long way back–all the way to “Mork and Mindy” which I watched when I was a graduate student in 1979. I thought he was hilarious.

I have written before about the kinship I always felt with him, of how he was my brother’s doppelganger, born weeks apart in 1951. Years would go by when I wouldn’t see my own brother, but I would see Robin. And then he played “Mrs. Doubtfire” and reminded me of my mother! It was that inner Scotsman, I guess, full of melancholy and sweetness. Indeed, he was like kin and so his death seems not so much like the death of a movie star, but like a brother. Perhaps you think that is silly, but it is how I feel. It is possible to feel very close to writers, poets, and yes, even movie stars.

I watched Awakenings last night–this movie is pure gold–and it is all about appreciating Life and reminding oneself often of the great gift that it is. So it is doubly heart-breaking to know that Robin Williams had lost sight of this.

 

“Does anything in nature despair except man? An animal with a foot caught in a trap does not seem to despair. It is too busy trying to survive. It is all closed in, to a kind of still, intense waiting. Is this a key? Keep busy with survival. Imitate the trees. Learn to lose in order to recover, and remember that nothing stays the same for long, not even pain, psychic pain. Sit it out. Let it all pass. Let it go.”

–May Sarton, Journal of Solitude

May Sarton is right. Hang in there.

*Dr. Seuss

Would you like to swing on a star? Carry moonbeams home in a jar…

by chuckofish

MCC girl scout campI worked hard this weekend around the house and on my bathroom project, so I regret that I did not have the strength of mind or body to write a lengthy blog post.

Instead, here is a summery picture of our dear mother (third from the left, middle row) when she was a camp counselor at the Newburgh, NY Girl Scout camp, Palisades Interstate Park, New York circa 1943. (She wrote all that information on the back of the picture,  but did not include a date!)

Our mother loved the Girl Scouts and she loved summer camp. I’m sure she was disappointed that my dual personality and I attended a school that did not have a GS troop. She would have loved being an adult scouter. Although on second thought, times had changed by then, and I think she would have hated all that cookie-selling business. It was really camp that she loved.

Oh well, c’est la vie.