family | dual personalities

January 5, 2015

Arise, shine, for your light has come

by chuckofish

Well, what a two weeks this has been! It has been filled with trees, lights, decorations,

trips to the airport,

multiple church services, social events, family,

friends and guests,

dance parties, and way too much food and drink.

But I took very few pictures. I will try to do better as I return to my routine. I am a routine person after all. Meanwhile, it is back to school today! Arise, shine–the days are getting longer after all. Thank goodness.

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December 22, 2014

“Who in these latter days was born for blessing to a world forlorn”*

by chuckofish

Advent Four. In the gospel lesson Mary is visited by the angel Gabriel, who says, “Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you.” Mary, not surprisingly, is perplexed by this and “pondered what kind of greeting this might be.” Our assisting priest, who gave the sermon, informed us that the word “ponder” is only used twice in the gospels, both times referring to Mary. He advised us to do more of our own pondering, but not to worry when the Big Questions remain unanswered. He reminded us that we don’t have to wait for complete understanding to act in faith. I get that.

I will miss our assisting priest–who is technically retired–as he heads off to Florida for several months. His sermons actually make sense. C’est la vie.

Since daughter #2 came home on Friday, I have been busier than probably in the entire prior four weeks (combined).

Best friends since Vacation Bible School

No kidding. Well, I expect to be busy when we have a full house at this time of year. And that’s okay.

I will do my best to fit in some ponder-time during the twelve days of Christmas, but I ain’t makin’ any promises, y’hear? There will be plenty of time in January for pondering.

By the way, I just finished a ponder-worthy book: Beyond Black by Hilary Mantel.

A.S. Byatt described it as “a terrible and swirling horror comedy about a very fat medium on the perimeter of the M25, haunted by mean and nasty spirits veering between damnation and the trivial.” Mantel really is a genius and this book is pretty disturbing. She reminds me of Shirley Jackson–brilliant and slightly cracked and a great, great writer. I highly recommend it.

* Hymn 63

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December 19, 2014

“Home is the nicest word there is.” *

by chuckofish

This girl is flying home today.

(The dog is not coming along.)

Is there anything better than that?

Yay.

*Laura Ingalls Wilder

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December 18, 2014

Happy birthday, dear dual personality!

by chuckofish

Christmas c. 1985

I chose this photo because I thought my dual personality looks pretty*. But then I noticed how serious she looks. This girl wasn’t always so serious–even though she was a stressed-out graduate student at the time! (If I recall correctly, she wasn’t feeling well this Christmas. Soon, in fact, she would be down with pneumonia!) Maybe she hadn’t gotten what she wanted for her birthday. Or maybe it was that whole birthday/Christmas thing.

Perhaps her older sister was annoying her. Perhaps her darling one-year old niece was screaming in the background. Who knows?

Anyway, today is her birthday and we hope she is celebrating in style and that good food and wine and presents for pretty girls are involved.

Hopefully she is not cooking! As always I wish I could be with her!

“For there is no friend like a sister

In calm or stormy weather;

To cheer one on the tedious way,

To fetch one if one goes astray,

To lift one if one totters down,

To strengthen whilst one stands.”

–Christina Rossetti, Goblin Market

*Note that there is a shadow behind her head that makes her hair look much more bouffant than it actually was!

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December 15, 2014

Sleepers, wake!*

by chuckofish

Advent Three. The second lesson was I Thessalonians 5: 16-24, which you will recall I blogged about last month.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise the words of prophets, but test everything; hold fast to what is good; abstain from every form of evil. May the God of peace himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept sound and blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do this. (NRSV)

You would think that it would be easy to rejoice during this particular holiday season as we await the birth of our saviour. But it isn’t, is it? We feel harried and under the gun. We try so hard and no one seems to notice. We aren’t included causing us to feel left out and once again like our 8th grade personas. We miss our loved ones and feel lonely. Sigh.

Well, I say turn off Facebook and turn to your prayer book (or Walt Whitman) instead. Take a walk. Give thanks that you can. Have a glass of wine. Give thanks in all circumstances.

It’s all good.

*Hymn #61

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December 8, 2014

Comfortable in Babylon

by chuckofish

On Sunday our preacher (the Associate Rector who is pretty good) reminded us that we post-modern Christians are like Isaiah’s Jews in exile in Babylon. He warned us against becoming too comfortable in this world, especially during Advent. Good point.

I try to keep in mind that Jesus is indeed the reason for the season. I try not to go overboard on buying presents and decorating the house. But December is the month when the Puritan in me takes a vacation.

I think this is because so much of the Christmas season is tied up in memory and in remembering our childhood Christmases. In tradition: This is how we always did it.

So happy in 1959

Our mother loved Christmas. She loved the decorations, the presents, the wrapping of presents, the writing of special poems for cards, the mailing of packages, the making of fruit cakes. It was a big deal at our house.

Happy again in 1962

Not to decorate the house and have two trees and all that goes with them would seem like treachery somehow. That may seem like a strong word, but that’s how I feel. I am always surprised by people who no longer put up a tree in their empty nest. Why bother? Well, because.

The Scrooge in me does get annoyed with the houses that have their lights done professionally in the neighborhoods where one-upmanship seems to be rampant. And I never get started before Thanksgiving. The big tree will never go up until a week before Christmas. I do have standards.

Home is definitely the place to be for the holidays–even if only in your dreams.

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December 4, 2014

Way back Wednesday

by chuckofish

This must have been the year our mother was in a rush to get everything done and so she didn’t have time to dress us up in going-to-visit-Santa finery. Don’t I look special though?

And by special I mean “special.”

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December 1, 2014

“‘Sleepers, wake!’ A voice astounds us”*

by chuckofish

I had a lovely long holiday weekend. How about you?

I ate a delicious Thanksgiving meal and celebrated the boy’s birthday the next day with tortellini and salad and leftover pie.

I watched 22 Jump Street, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, The Wizard of Oz, La Belle et La Bête (1946) and Miracle on 34th Street (1947)–all of which I enjoyed immensely.

I went to church twice on Sunday. I debated going to the morning service, knowing that I would be going back at 4:00 p.m. for Advent Lessons & Carols, but I thought I should go because it was the first Sunday in Advent and that means Rite I! As you know, I am one of the few people who still enjoys saying “And with thy spirit” instead of “And also with you”–so I went and I’m glad I did.

The service started off with The Great Litany (BCP p. 148-153) with all the great “Good Lord, deliver us” stuff, i.e. “From all inordinate and sinful affections; and from all the deceits of the world, the flesh, and the devil” and also “From all false doctrine, heresy, and schism; from hardness of heart, and contempt of thy Word and commandment.” It is so easy nowadays to forget about “the crafts and assaults of the devil,” isn’t it? Well, Good Lord, deliver me!

Our rector gave his usual nonsensical sermon, full of misquoting and mispronouncing, but I must say, that listening to him week after week has taught me a lesson in humility. While I am listening (and wincing), I inevitably come away with something. He is a brave soul to get up every week and try. He is no Phillips Brooks–although he attempted to quote him–and that’s okay.

After church I prevailed upon the OM to assist me in hanging the outside Christmas lights on our humble abode. The boy usually does this for us, but he was working on Sunday, and as the temperate weather was forecasted to end, I thought we better get to it. Of course, it was much more complicated without the nimble and manly boy, who executed this job previously with nary a grumble. It took us twice as long and the OM blurted out quite a few goddammits while breaking more than a few light bulbs and bumping his head. Anyway, the lights are up.

Advent Lessons & Carols was lovely too. We sang all the good Advent hymns we didn’t sing in the morning. I got to read the second lesson–Isaiah 40:1-8 which is “Comfort, O comfort my people…”. The best (or at least most adorable) reader was a little third grader who read Zechariah 2:10-13 with a lisp right out of central casting. “For lo, I will come and dwell in your midst…”–she had a little trouble with “midst” (and who doesn’t)–but so cute.

Photo from the Grace Church Facebook page.

Afterwards we had the annual Advent dinner and “craft”. I passed on the craft. I got hugs from the boy’s old friends, Michael visiting from NYC and Weezer visiting from L.A. It was a win-win.

Have a great week!

*Hymn 61, The Hymnal 1982

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November 27, 2014

Count your blessings or “Are you saying I could be stuck in Wichita?”

by chuckofish

N.C. Wyeth

Whether you are entertaining a large group or a very small one like me, enjoy the day.

We’ll miss daughters #1 and #2 who are staying put this holiday.

We’ll miss you! Can’t wait ’til Christmas!

In the meantime we’ll raise a glass (or two) to absent friends and loved ones! And then we’ll watch our favorite Thanksgiving movie starring these two guys:

I mean what would Thanksgiving be without Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987)? Meanwhile, I’m still a million bucks shy of bein’ a millionaire…

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November 26, 2014

Come, ye thankful people, come

by chuckofish

Raise the song of harvest home!

I am working a half day today. Then I will get ready for tomorrow’s feast.

I have already started to set the table.

I like to mix up my china, using some of my own fine china pattern (Autumn) and some of my mother’s pattern (Nydia)–both Lenox. And I love this vintage Vera tablecloth! So autumnal.