family | dual personalities

Grace abounding

by chuckofish

Well, we are experiencing some beautiful fall weather and I am grateful. The weekend was beautiful.

On Saturday I gave a talk on the history of the Santa Fe Trail to a group of DAR ladies. Daughter #1 accompanied me and provided tech support, because as I’ve learned in my years in academia, one always needs tech support (plus multiple back-ups, several PowerPoint versions of your talk, dongles, thumb drives etc. etc. etc.)

Everything went smoothly and I guess the ladies enjoyed it. I was pinch-hitting for someone in Kansas City in the Missouri River Outfitters chapter of the Santa Fe Trail Association of which I am a member–obviously I’m the only chapter member who lives in St. Louis!

This experience did motivate me to look into the National Society of the Daughters of the American Revolution. My maternal grandmother was a pillar of the DAR and now that I am retired, it might be something I could get interested in. It was the DAR, after all, who originally took on the important task of preserving the Santa Fe Trail and placing markers along the way, thus saving the trail from literally blowing away in the wind. The DAR in Kansas began the monumental task of marking the Trail in Kansas in 1902. Soon chapters of the DAR in Missouri, Colorado, and New Mexico followed suit and marked the Trail in their respective states. Pink granite markers were placed where one could see the original ruts or swales, or where traders still living indicated the location of the route. Four Madonna of the Trail statues honor the women who traveled the trail. Just another example of private citizens (and women at that) organizing a project, raising money and seeing it through to completion.

We are hoping to make the trek soon to Franklin, Missouri, the original site of the beginning of the trail…

…that is, before Franklin was washed away by a flood in 1827. Then the trailhead moved west to Westport Landing.

We got up early on Sunday and made a Tater Tot breakfast casserole before going to church to meet the boy and the wee babes for the 6th week in a row! They are really enjoying Sunday School. Lottie corrected my pronunciation of Naaman. (You remember him. He was the commander of the Syrian army who was healed of his leprosy by Elijah.) After brunch, daughter #1 headed back to JC and the twins went home to wreck havoc there.

We did get to FaceTime with our precious Katiebelle who is also (obviously) brilliant:

It was a nice quiet weekend.

Now as the week progresses, remember what the @madcapcottage boys say: “Be optimistic. Be happy. Don’t live with fear. Act like a kid. Create new chapters. Ditch the pessimists in your life. And always wear bunny ears whenever the opportunity arises.” Hear, hear!

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November 1, 2021

“Talk about your childhood wishes/You can even eat the dishes”*

by chuckofish

I have been thinking about Halloween and how back in the day, the getting of candy was really the big deal. No one had candy at home. Candy was something we got on special occasions and on Saturday mornings when we went to Spicer’s and spent a nickel on penny candy. Five pieces, which we picked out carefully, in a little brown bag. So a holiday like Halloween was about candy and the hoarding of it thereafter. Our mother made some pretty great costumes early on, but later, when we got older, costumes were secondary and frequently were thrown together at the last minute. It was the free candy that we wanted. Those mini candy bars were a seasonal treat and not available at other times of the year like they are now.

I remember when I was in kindergarten or first grade and I was going over to my best friend Trudy Glick’s house to Trick-or-Treat. She lived in a mansion on a street with other very large houses spaced far apart from each other. My older brother felt sorry for me because obviously we wouldn’t be going to very many houses. Anticipating quite a haul in our own neighborhood, he uncharacteristically and magnanimously actually said he would share his candy with me. Imagine our surprise when the denizens of Dromara Lane gave out full sized candy bars and I came home with a heaping bag of goodies. No apples or cookies or raisins. Lesson learned. (I have no memory of sharing with him, but maybe I did.)

Later, in college, Halloween was an excuse to wear makeup and to try to look sultry…

Now we just turn off the lights and ignore anyone who comes to the door.

Over the weekend we watched our share of “scary” movies: Signs (2002), Night Creatures (1962)–recommended by Paul Zahl–and The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh (1964). Both Night Creatures and The Scarecrow are based on a book by Russell Thorndike, Dr. Syn. I have to admit, I prefer the Disney version. Those historical movies from the early sixties, filmed in England and sometimes starring Patrick McGoohan, were very good. The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh really holds up. And who doesn’t love a story about an Anglican vicar who has a side hustle as a smuggler so he can steal from the government to help the poor…and, of course, the title song?

We all went to church on Sunday. As a special Reformation Day treat, the men’s ensemble (a sextet) sang “A Mighty Fortress is Our God” at the beginning of the service. At the conclusion the wee laddie turned to me and whispered, “That song was awesome!” and he applauded. Luckily, he was not the only one so moved. We had brunch together at home afterwards, which I hope will be our new Sunday routine.

I served Episcopal Souffle, but I may have to change the name now. Calvinist souffle?

We did not get to see the wee twins in their Halloween costumes, but we saw a lot of pictures.

Lottie was a mermaid (striped shirt optional) and the bud was Kion from the Lion King.

Daughter #3 whipped up the costumes as requested. Very wunderbar.

Meanwhile baby Katie sat out Halloween…

…and looked adorable doing so.

Today is All Saints’ Day, at least in the Anglican world. But it is still a good reminder to pause and think about all those saints who have influenced our lives.

On All Saints’ Day, it is not just the saints of the church that we should remember in our prayers, but all the foolish ones and wise ones, the shy ones and overbearing ones, the broken ones and whole ones, the despots and tosspots and crackpots of our lives who, one way or another, have been our particular fathers and mothers and saints, and whom we loved without knowing we loved them and by whom we were helped to whatever little we may have, or ever hope to have, of some kind of seedy sainthood of our own.
Frederick Buechner, The Sacred Journey

Have a great week!

*Willy Wonka

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October 18, 2021

A bushel and a peck

by chuckofish

How was your weekend? Mine turned out to be very busy and with way more socializing than I am used to.

The OM and I spent five hours going to the Newcomer Classes at our new church (on Friday night and Saturday morning). It was time well spent, but it was a lot for my aging brain to take in.

“This is why Paul upholds the teaching of the gospel in such a forceful way … Seeing such an example and such a picture of man’s great weakness and fickleness, Paul states that the truth of the gospel must supersede anything that we may devise … he is showing us that we ought to know the substance of the doctrine which is brought to us in the name of God, so that our faith can be fully grounded upon it. Then we will not be tossed about with every wind, nor will we wander about aimlessly, changing our opinions a hundred times a day; we will persist in this doctrine until the end. This, in brief, is what we must remember.”
–John Calvin, Sermon on Galatians

On Saturday afternoon I brought in all the plants from the Florida Room and attempted to find suitable winter homes for them throughout my house. Exhausting. Then I took a quick nap before going out to celebrate our 41st (!) anniversary with some old friends at a nice restaurant.

On Sunday, instead of going to church with the boy and the wee twins as planned, the OM and I drove to Jefferson City where daughter #1 had purchased a Power Wheels Raptor for the twins at Walmart (spoiler alert: combo birthday/Christmas present from all of us)…

…but, curses, had discovered that it would not fit in her Mazda. (There is a lot of backstory here, but I will not go into it. Suffice it to say, we have been looking high and low for the aforementioned truck, so when she found one, she jumped on it.) So we drove to JC, picked her up and hustled over to Walmart where they were holding it. Two nice young men brought it out to the OM’s SUV…

…only to discover that it was too big for his car! Luckily we were in mid-MO where the two young men took it upon themselves to make it fit. They took it out of the box and persuaded it to fit. Bravo.

We thanked them kindly and headed to Steak ‘n Shake for lunch. Then we bid adieu to daughter #1 and drove back to our flyover town and managed to unload the Raptor into the garage, where we will put it back together at some later date.

What a weekend! I must say, it was a beautiful weekend, weather-wise–crisp and cool. I watched Circus World (1964) starring John Wayne, Claudia Cardinale and Rita Hayworth on Sunday night, which rounded out the weekend nicely.

5 Comments

September 13, 2021

“Crown him as your Captain”*

by chuckofish

We celebrated daughter #1’s birthday by going to our favorite winery in Hillsboro. Now that we are experts, we know what to bring and how to set up for a picnic.

Accommodations were made for the small fry.

Pappy and the wee laddie went for a walk to check out the excavator down the hill and the pond around the bend.

When we had enough lovely sunshine and live music (and wine)…

…we packed up…

…and headed back to our flyover hometown where we ate “donut cake” and Aunt Mary opened presents.

It was a fun day.

I went to church in the morning after daughter #1 headed back to mid-MO. I was reminded once again that worship is a restorative act. It really is. Our clergy team is starting a new sermon series on the Letter to the Romans and I am looking forward to it. No one does exegesis like the Presbyterians.

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile. For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed—a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith.”
Romans 1:16-17

In closing I encourage you to watch this video about a fine young man who lost his life on 9/11 helping to save people in the south tower. He reminds me of the boy, a lacrosse player who had an eerily similar name and the same initials. (Kleenex essential)

Have a good week. Pray that you might bring glory to God in thought, word and deed.

In your hearts enthrone him; there let him subdue
All that is not holy, all that is not true;
Crown him as your Captain in temptation’s hour:
Let his will enfold you in its light and pow’r.
–Hymn #163, Caroline M. Noel, 1870

3 Comments

September 6, 2021

“Take my life and let it be/consecrated, Lord, to thee”*

by chuckofish

Happy Labor Day!

“I don’t give jobs, I hire men.” This scene from McClintock seems relevant.

^“Only, let every one lead the life which the Lord has assigned to him, and in which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. “
I Cor. 7:17

The sermon yesterday was on I Corinthians 7:17-24. The preacher was Dr. Daniel Doriani, a well known Presbyterian in our community and a blogger at TGC. It was excellent–all about how God calls us to faith and union with Christ and to places and roles, about living faithfully in our callings and where God has put us. You can read his Work: Foundational Truths for Uncertain Times here. Again, it is wonderful to leave church feeling ebullient and ready to face the week. It has been literally years since I felt that way after church.

Meanwhile, Miss Katie needs to “work” on her table manners…

Speaking of nutballs, we had not seen the wee babes for a couple of weeks, so we were glad they could come over for a Labor Day BBQ with their parents on Sunday. It was a beautiful day, sunny and in the 70s with low humidity. We sat outside and enjoyed the sunshine. When we came inside they wreaked havoc as usual.

In other news, daughter #1 and I went to one estate sale on Saturday where I found an old issue of the From Mary to You alumnae magazine from 1969 which I bought for a dollar and thoroughly enjoyed reading. There was a photo of our pater in a coonskin cap being uncharacteristically goofy in his AP U.S. class…

and a photo of moi in a seventh grade play …

I think that is my friend Harriet second from the left with a veil. I am second from the right (I think). I have no memory of this play, ‘The Paduan Berets’ by Pirandello. Zut alors! Weren’t we sophisticated? (Actually, no, not really.)

So if you have the day off today, enjoy it.

Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.
I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
Ecclesiastes 9:10-11

*Hymn #585, Frances R. Havergal, 1874

2 Comments

August 23, 2021

“In the tempests of life, on its wide heaving sea, thou blest Rock of Ages, I’m hiding in thee”*

by chuckofish

How was your weekend? It was blazing hot here (well, not that hot) but at least there were no damaging storms to wreck havoc and make a big mess.

On Friday, the boy brought the twins over for a visit. Lottie complained about being hot…

while the wee laddie got busy emptying out the garage.

After a couple of hours, we did go inside where we ate some pretzels and cooled off.

Daughter #1 drove home that late afternoon after a busy week in JC for some downtime in our flyover town. On Saturday we were very successful at an estate sale and I bought a classic Forshaw wrought iron table and chairs for our patio. I have been on the lookout for a nice set for a couple of years, so I was very pleased. And what a bargain! The boy picked them up on Sunday morning before he opened his store and we went to church. How nice to have a son with a truck who so cheerfully pitches in!

Later on Sunday the boy came back for tacos with the wee babes. (Daughter #3 was getting ready for the first day of school today.)

Lottie still balked at playing outside, but Aunt Mary was there this time to make it all okay.

Fun times.

But it occurred to me the other day that I was way behind in pre-Christmas planning/present stockpiling. For some reason, I feel very unmotivated this year. I’m not sure why. Uncertainty about the world order? Feeling anxious about the end times? Wondering what God is requiring of me today?

When as the grass the wicked grow,
when sinners flourish here below,
then is there endless ruin nigh,
but you, O Lord, are throned on high;
Your foes shall fall before your might, the wicked shall be put to flight.
Hymn #635

Yes, I remind myself constantly, our Lord is throned on high.

Cheer up, Christian! Things are not left to chance: no blind fate rules the world. God hath purposes, and those purposes are fulfilled. God hath plans, and those plans are wise, and never can be dislocated.
Charles Spurgeon

*William O. Cushing, 1876

4 Comments

August 9, 2021

Postcards from flyover country

by chuckofish

We had a super fun long weekend with daughter #2, DN and Katiebelle visiting.

We got the cousins together for a backyard splash party…

I got this cute sprinkler for the wee babes…

…but, of course, their aunt in Texas had just bought them this sprinkler…

(which do you think they preferred?)

C’est la vie…we hung out…

and looked out the window (better than TV)…

…and we prepared for our big party celebrating the 200th birthday of Missouri statehood on Saturday…

We had a party tent!

..where our friends Gary and Don played…

We were living in the moment and no one took many pictures, but it was fun and no one passed out from the heat. (We were glad the the big thunderstorm held off until the next night.) Someone showed the wee laddie how to use the party pump on the keg of beer and he spent a long time filling up cups and passing them out to guests (whether they wanted one or not) after playing with his surprisingly anti-social sister got old.

My oldest friend came in from Virginia for the festivities (but no one took a picture of us!) and that was wonderful. We had a nice visit after everyone went home.

Family and old friends…that’s what it’s all about, right?

Daughter #2, DN and sweet Katie made it out of town before the big storm hit, but daughter #1 decided to wait to drive back to JC until Monday morning. We tried to watch the closing ceremony of the Tokyo Olympics, but we didn’t make it very long.

Gee, where can I get one of those caftans?

Grace and peace to you today and in the week ahead.

3 Comments

August 6, 2021

Tra la la

by chuckofish

What’s the story, Morning Glory? What’s the word, Hummingbird?

Well, we’re all here, hanging out in flyover country.

Toasting with Margaritas at Club Taco.

Frolicking on the lawn. Life is good.

Today we’ll get the wading pool out and the wee cousins will come over. And in between we’ll get ready for our party tomorrow.

Have a great weekend! Make good choices.

2 Comments

July 29, 2021

“The summer wind came blowin’ in”*

by chuckofish

I hope your week is going well. We are experiencing heat advisories, but this is nothing new in my neck of the woods. It’s July, after all. I went to the grocery store and experienced, once again, that hot hit of heat when exiting the store. I remember as a child feeling that and also the getting into our heat box of a car (no air-conditioning) and returning to our house, also without air conditioning. Truly every summer of my youth was a long, hot summer. I am grateful for my air conditioned car and home, but sometimes I like to go out to our Florida Room and experience the summer heat of my childhood again and breathe the fresh air.

Yesterday was the 9th wedding anniversary of the boy and daughter #3. They have been a couple since 2009, and as you know, they were engaged at aged three while in preschool together.

Everything has not been all sunshine and roses for the handsome couple and they have truly been through a lot together…

…cancer, preemie twins in the NICU for three months, owning a store during COVID–but they’ve weathered it all admirably. I certainly admire them. They are a fine example of sticking together through thick and thin and smiling along the way.

“In sharp contrast with our culture, the Bible teaches that the essence of marriage is a sacrificial commitment to the good of the other. That means that love is more fundamentally action than emotion. But in talking this way, there is a danger of falling into the opposite error that characterized many ancient and traditional societies. It is possible to see marriage as merely a social transaction, a way of doing your duty to family, tribe and society. Traditional societies made the family the ultimate value in life, and so marriage was a mere transaction that helped your family’s interest. By contrast, contemporary Western societies make the individual’s happiness the ultimate value, and so marriage becomes primarily an experience of romantic fulfillment. But the Bible sees GOD as the supreme good – not the individual or the family – and that gives us a view of marriage that intimately unites feelings AND duty, passion AND promise. That is because at the heart of the Biblical idea of marriage is the covenant.”
Timothy Keller

May God continue to bless you two and your wee family.

And God bless our nephew Foster who got hitched to Goksen in Izmir, Turkey earlier in the month and also my DP’s son Chris whose postponed wedding has been re-scheduled and is in less than two weeks. Mazel Tov to you all and to your parents as well.

And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.
John 1: 16

*Johnny Mercer

7 Comments

July 19, 2021

“Sun and moon, bow down before him, dwellers now in time and space”*

by chuckofish

Well, I have to say these Presbyterians I worship with now sure can belt out a hymn–four hymns, in fact, every service. Everyone sings, even the teenagers! Hallelujah, brothers and sisters. It surprises me every week. What a nice surprise!

The twins came over twice this weekend. On Friday morning we entertained each other while daughter #3 did something. Lottie, ever the chatterbox, brought me up to date on all the goings on in her life. The wee laddie, who plays his cards much closer to the chest, concentrated on his cars.

On Saturday we celebrated the OM’s birthday. His favorite present was a DVD from daughter #1 of his favorite movie Ford vs Ferrari (2019).

Yes, I know, we look like Mr and Mrs Crypt Keeper, but even in our decrepitude, we had fun and it was even balmy enough for us to sit out on the driveway.