family | dual personalities

May 12, 2026

Morning by morning new mercies I see

by chuckofish

Another beautiful day in flyover land–perfect for running errands, which I did in preparation for hitting the road today. Yes, I am heading again to the prairie! Pray for smooth travels in the speedwagon, good weather and good health to everyone involved!

I also went over to my friend Eleanor’s house yesterday to watch a movie on her bigscreen TV (she has a new, even bigger TV now). We watched Hamnet (2025). I had low expectations for the movie and it was, in reality, much worse than imagined. Dark, unremittingly dreary. Hardly anyone smiles during the entire movie. I knew it would be very earthy–yes, we get to watch Agnes give birth three times in 16th century England where everyone is portrayed as unclean and disheveled. There is lots of screaming and groaning then and then again when her children are older and have bubonic plague. I guess this is what passes for great acting these days. But it is a one-note movie. The pace never changes. It asks the question, did Shakespeare write Hamlet as a way to process his grief over his son Hamnet’s death? The answer would be yes, but the movie never presents Will Shakespeare as a person remotely capable of doing so.

“What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty! In form and moving how express and admirable! In action how like an Angel! in apprehension how like a god! The beauty of the world! The paragon of animals! And yet to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me; no, nor Woman neither; though by your smiling you seem to say so…” (Hamlet, Act 2 Scene 2)

And, of course, there is no spiritual element in the movie. Agnes is basically a pagan woman of the wood. Please.

If I had been watching it at home, I would have turned it off, but, alas, I could not.

In the meantime, I could really relate to this article by a Garden & Gun editor about hints for traveling with your boomer Mom. On a trip to Ireland, the author and her mother even took a side trip to Cong after watching The Quiet Man. If they are “unhinged” then so are we.

Enjoy your Tuesday!

4 Comments

May 11, 2026

Dwellers all in time and space

by chuckofish

Quelle busy weekend? How about you?

Friday I went out to lunch with some old work friends and then went to Mudd’s Grove to pick up some stuff. I went to Lowe’s and bought some Petunias which I planted in pots. In the late afternoon daughter #1 and I drove out to the boy’s house for a BBQ with the fam. Mmmm, smashburgers! More socializing than I usually do in a whole week!

On Saturday morning I got up and went to our last DAR meeting until the fall. It was also daughter #1’s last meeting as Regent! We also installed new officers–I’m the chapter Chaplain now–and gave out awards to deserving students from Ritenour and Jennings High Schools and to the mayor of Kirkwood. A couple of veterans were also recognized. It was a big morning. Daughter #1 and I headed to our favorite winery afterwards to celebrate.

As I have said before, this is a favorite spring/summer activity: it was lovely to sit in the beautiful sunshine in Hillsboro, MO and listen to live music and drink wine. It was hopping, so we were glad we brought our back-up folding chairs, portable table and picnic blanket. We have learned to be prepared!

On Sunday I went to church with the boy and the twins. The middle-school-aged son of our music director played Schumann’s Kinderszenen, Op. 15: I. Von fremden Ländern und Menschen as the prelude to worship:

It was a treat even the twins appreciated! Our pastor continued his sermon series on Joshua (20-21) and we sang good hymns. I went to a good adult ed class on evangelism. The boy and the twins went home to spend the day with their sweet mother and I went to brunch with daughter #1.

And daughter #2 was feted by her family…

My cup runneth over.

Angels, help us to adore Him,
Ye behold Him face to face;
Sun and moon, bow down before Him;
Dwellers all in time and space,
Praise Him, praise Him, alleluia!
Praise with us the God of grace.

–Henry F. Lyte, 1834

3 Comments

May 8, 2026

Safely through another week

by chuckofish

It’s Friday again–can you believe it? I have a busy day ahead of me with multiple things to do. The weekend will be pretty busy as well. Unfortunately it is supposed to rain, but we had a lovely, cool week, so I can’t really complain.

Don’t forget that Sunday is Mother’s Day! If you are lucky enough to still have a mother, give her a call or take her out to lunch after church. If you don’t, think about your mother and all that you owe her. Even if she wasn’t a paragon of maternal virtue, she gave you life. And remember all those women–sisters, wives, aunts, old ladies who sit in your pew and wonder where you are when you’re not there–who have helped and nurtured and supported you through the years.

In the meantime here are some good things to read…

This is a helpful essay about raising children to be “reality respecters”: “If we believe God made the world and our children, we’ll teach them that the only way to be in touch with reality is to look at the world the way God looks at it. As a believing parent, I have a duty to teach my children to question whether their feelings fit the way things are.”

This is interesting: At the recent World Architecture Festival—an annual international gathering of leading figures where prestigious prizes are awarded—the biggest prize of all was awarded to a church. But what a hideous structure! “It looks like a prison chapel designed by Screwtape to cause all who enter in to abandon hope. I do believe it would make Soviet atheist architects proud. Most of all, here is what a church should look like if Christ never rose from the dead.” It’s almost as ugly as this.

And here’s a poem by John Newton, “Saturday Evening”.

Safely through another week,
God has brought us on our way;
Let us now a blessing seek,
On th’ approaching Sabbath-day:
Day of all the week the best,
Emblem of eternal rest.

4 Comments

May 5, 2026

Fast and Furious

by chuckofish

Today we toast William George Beers (May 5, 1841 – December 26, 1900) who was a Canadian dentist who founded Canada’s first dental journal and served as the founding dean of the Dental College of the Province of Quebec. In addition, he is referred to as the “father of modern lacrosse” for his work establishing the first set of playing rules for the game.

In 1860, Beers began to codify the first written rules of the modern game. Prior to this, all rules of the game needed to be decided prior to each game. Some of the rules established by Beers were the size of, and the use of a rubber lacrosse ball, that the lacrosse stick could be any length, but the pocket needed to be flat in the absence of a ball, length of the field to 200 yards (180 m), size of the goal and goal crease, twelve members of a team on the field at a time, and the length of a match to first to reach five goals, or lead by three. In the process of standardizing the game, Beers removed the spiritual and ritual components present in its predecessor, the First Nations game of baggataway, and was unapologetic in its appropriation: “Just as we claim as Canadian the rivers and lakes and land once owned exclusively by Indians, so we now claim their field game as the national field game of our dominion”.

Did you know that field lacrosse was a medal sport in the 1904 and the 1908 Summer Olympics? It will be again in 2028! This time around the appropriation of lacrosse from the Native Americans will no doubt have to be recognized by some sort of “game acknowledgement”, but c’est la vie.

(Ball Players by George Catlin)

Recently an ADT tech came to my house to update my alarm system and he noticed this photo on my wall. He asked if it was my son and if he played lacrosse. I said, yes, it was, and he said that he played lacrosse and we had a nice conversation about the sport. He had learned to play at Matthews-Dickey Boys Club in the city and then played at Lutheran North. Character-building, I tell ya! It’s a small world.

Praise the Lord.

1 Comment

May 4, 2026

There, but for the Grace of God, go we

by chuckofish

How was your weekend? Our flyover weather was gloriously beautiful, but my weekend was pretty quiet. I finished reading The Little Ark by Jan de Hartog and I was genuinely moved by it, especially the way the Dutch people step up to help in a catastrophe…

On Saturday I got up and went to Trader Joe’s to buy flowers for Sunday. The flower corner was mobbed–mostly with teenage girls. Is it prom season or something? I could hardly fight my way through to see the flowers and I just grabbed some blue hydrangeas, some lilies and a little baby’s breath and hightailed it out of there. I went to church and arranged them and I think they looked pretty.

While I waited around for the Women’s Spring Luncheon at 11:00, I stapled some handouts for the young ladies organizing the event. We had soup and salad and breadsticks and my friend Mary Beth gave the talk on spiritual gifts. Afterwards I went to an estate sale at a nice house, but I didn’t find anything to buy/rescue. C’est la vie.

Meanwhile daughter#1 kept me in the prairie loop!

On Sunday, I went to church with the boy and the twins where we sang two of Lottie’s favorite hymns, including Ida’s favorite:

We sang with vigor!

The sermon was on Joshua 14:1-19:51 which covered a lot of territory, but it was excellent. Then I went to adult ed and then to the grocery store to pick up my staples (egg salad, bread, Chex Mix, and carrot sticks). Then on to the bud’s lacrosse game. He took some face-offs!

After catching up with the boy and daughter #3 I was off to the kennel to pick up Mr. Smith! We came home and collapsed and waited for daughter #1 to return.

She is home now and picked up Mr. Smith. We had a glass of wine in the Florida Room. All is well–today I have nothing on my agenda but some “desk work”.

P.S. We have a member of our church who is a neurosurgeon and he also plays the violin. On Sunday, as the prelude to our Call to Worship he played Elgar’s “Nimrod” of the Enigma Variations. It is pretty great, and always worth a listen:

2 Comments

April 29, 2026

No matter how hopeless, no matter how far*

by chuckofish

The other night I watched Man of La Mancha (1972) on TCM for want of anything else to watch. A film adaption of the hit Broadway musical, it is not a great movie. However, while I watched, I remembered going to the Cinerama Theater to see it with my mother and sister. I was a junior in high school. We were big Peter O’Toole fans at the time and we enjoyed it. My mother reacted very emotionally to it, weeping at the end when Cervantes goes up the prison stairs with the loyal Sancho to meet the Inquisition tribunal.

When the movie was over, after pulling ourselves together, we did something I don’t ever remember doing before or since–we went to Famous-Barr and bought the movie soundtrack on the way home! We listened to that record so much I practically knew it by heart. Peter O’Toole was (sadly) dubbed in his singing scenes, but the record included several short scenes which included his dialog. “I shall impersonate a man!” That dialog came back to me so clearly watching the movie!

The lyrics to “The Impossible Dream” may seem corny to some now, but they weren’t then. It is still a pretty great song.

I forgot to mention that Monday was the birthday of cousin Ulysses S. Grant (1822-85).

Yes, Grant was not cut out for politics–too humble, too honest, too trusting. I do love USG. Let’s all take a moment.

Also, I somehow missed that they recently filmed Antiques Roadshow at Grant’s Farm here in town. The first episode of three at Grant’s Farm aired on Monday. You can watch it here.

And this made me laugh:

*The Impossible Dream

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April 20, 2026

A perfect weekend

by chuckofish

How was your weekend? Mine was, as anticipated, super special. The prairie fam rolled into town on Friday and DN barbecued hamburgers. It was great to have the house filled to the brim and chaotic.

We had so much fun at my birthday luncheon on Saturday!

My cup runneth over.

I made it to church on Sunday morning and so did the boy and the twins. We heard a good sermon on Joshua 10:40-43, 11:16-23–for the Lord God of Israel fought for Israel!–and sang good hymns. In the afternoon daughter #1 and I drove to our favorite winery in Hillsboro and drank wine in the beautiful sunshine and listened to live music–our favorite ’70s playlist. Is there anything better than that? The answer is not much.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
his love endures forever.

–I Chronicles 16:34

5 Comments

April 17, 2026

“With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.”*

by chuckofish

It’s Friday again! The prairie fam will arrive later today. Tomorrow daughters #1 and 2 are throwing me a birthday luncheon for my lady friends and granddaughters (plus Wes). They threw me a party when I turned 60–hard to believe that was 10 years ago!

Anyway, it will be a fun and busy weekend.

Here’s a birthday poem by Robert Service written on 16th January, 1949–“Seventy-and-five!”:

I thank whatever gods may be
For all the happiness that’s mine;
That I am festive, fit and free
To savour women, wit and wine;
That I may game of golf enjoy,
And have a formidable drive:
In short, that I’m a gay old boy
Though I be
Seventy-and-five.

My daughter thinks. because I’m old
(I’m not a crock, when all is said),
I mustn’t let my feet get cold,
And should wear woollen socks in bed;
A worsted night-cap too, forsooth!
To humour her I won’t contrive:
A man is in his second youth
When he is
Seventy-and-five.

At four-score years old age begins,
And not till then, I warn my wife;
At eighty I’ll recant my sins,
And live a staid and sober life.
But meantime let me whoop it up,
And tell the world that I’m alive:
Fill to the brim the bubbly cup –
Here’s health to
Seventy-and-five!

As a reformed Presbyterian, I have recanted my sins and I’ll admit I do live a rather staid and sober life, but I still know how to whoop it up. And I plan to this weekend!

And Mr. Smith was a naughty boy and thought it was very funny…

(BTW, the beautiful Iris is from Don’s garden–mine are still buds!)

*William Shakespeare

1 Comment

April 14, 2026

More precious than rubies

by chuckofish

Today is daughter #2’s birthday! We will celebrate on Friday when the whole prairie gang comes into town for my birthday–the first time since before Wes was born! In the meantime, happy birthday, precious Susiebelle!

Yesterday I delivered a “meal train” dinner to a fellow parishioner who was recovering from a shoulder replacement. She is an almost 90-year old lady–a tiny woman originally from Texas who has a concealed carry license and who really reminded me of another little lady from Texas I used to know. She talked my ear off for an hour! We had a great time. Another lesson learned by this poor introvert.

Here’s a poem for daughter #2 by Mary Oliver, The Black Walnut Tree:

My mother and I debate:
we could sell
the black walnut tree
to the lumberman,
and pay off the mortgage.
Likely some storm anyway
will churn down its dark boughs,
smashing the house. We talk
slowly, two women trying
in a difficult time to be wise.
Roots in the cellar drains,
I say, and she replies
that the leaves are getting heavier
every year, and the fruit
harder to gather away.
But something brighter than money
moves in our blood–an edge
sharp and quick as a trowel
that wants us to dig and sow.
So we talk, but we don’t do
anything. That night I dream
of my fathers out of Bohemia
filling the blue fields
of fresh and generous Ohio
with leaves and vines and orchards.
What my mother and I both know
is that we’d crawl with shame
in the emptiness we’d made
in our own and our fathers’ backyard.
So the black walnut tree
swings through another year
of sun and leaping winds,
of leaves and bounding fruit,
and, month after month, the whip-
crack of the mortgage.

And for those of us old enough to remember:

3 Comments

April 13, 2026

Then sings my soul

by chuckofish

How was your weekend? Daughter #1 and I went to a couple of good estate sales on Saturday and got a random selection of items–an X-acto knife, a Christmas wreath holder, an extension cord–you know, the usual. We had to walk a mile to the first house in Grantwood Village, the nice neighborhood bordering Grant’s Farm. The other house was around the corner from my house, but we still had to do some walking to get there. Got my steps in on Saturday! I went home and rested, knowing that I had a big night ahead of me.

For Christmas daughter #1 gave everyone tickets to see…

We headed down to Chaifetz (on the campus of St. Louis University) and got there a good 45 minutes early–there was a lot of traffic or we would have been there an hour early. The boy and the twins, like good Presbyterians, arrived right as the concert started.

It had been a long time since I had been to a concert in such a large venue! (Springsteen in ’87?) It was pretty exciting!

Zach Williams was wonderful–I got really choked up when he started his first song–Jesus Loves–but that is who I am now. It was great to see Mac Powell and Third Day who were also in fine form. We were great fans in the late ’90s/early aughts.

The twins, I think, had a really good time at their first Christian rock concert, especially the bud who is a rock fan–Free Bird is his fave.

Lottie had played in two lacrosse games that day and was a bit tired, but she was eventually singing along with everyone else.

Anyway, I had a really fun time out of my comfort zone and that is a lesson for us all.

We were out late, but I made it to church at the regular time and heard an excellent sermon on Joshua 10:1-27: The Lord fights for his people! I really love Joshua a lot–one of those truly great “mighty men of valor”. Speaking of mighty men of valor, Mike Matheny‘s grandchild was getting baptized–but at the 11:00 service! I looked around before I left after Adult Ed, but I didn’t see him. 😭 C’est la vie.

We started a new 5-week Adult Ed term. It was hard to choose a class, but I went with “Amusing Ourselves to Death” about social media, mostly because I like the man leading the class. It should be interesting.

After church I headed out to the bud’s lacrosse game…