dual personalities

Tag: family

May 27, 2024

The chalice of courage

by chuckofish

I have been thinking about Gen. Douglas MacArthur and listened once again to his farewell speech to West Point, arguably one of the best speeches of the 20th Century.

In twenty campaigns, on a hundred battlefields, around a thousand campfires, I have witnessed that enduring fortitude, that patriotic self-abnegation, and that invincible determination which have carved his status in the hearts of his people. From one end of the world to the other he has drained deep the chalice of courage.

Let’s all take a few moments to think about that patriotic self-abnegation and the men (and women) who made the ultimate sacrifice in the service of their country.

(Here’s a photo of my grandfather on the right with his younger brother who was killed in the Argonne Forest in 1918.)

If you have half an hour, listen to the speech.

As I have said before, Memorial Day is not just an excuse to have a day off and barbecue with family and friends–although we did that yesterday.

There was no mention of Memorial Day at our church which I found interesting but not really surprising. It was just a regular service and two of the four hymns made me cry like a baby. I was a mess. C’est la vie. Our new young pastor finished the Letter to Titus in his sermon and he was on fire, which was pretty impressive considering it was Titus. But that goes to show that any scripture is worthy of our study and exegesis.

In the afternoon the boy and his family, daughter #1 and her friend Liz and her husband and kids gathered with us for family fun and frolic. We started off outside…

…but we had to move inside when it started to thunder and rain. Our twins showed their twins how to have fun at Mamu’s house…

The menfolk had to move the barbecue into the garage, and by the time we were almost ready to sit down to eat, the tornado sirens were blaring, the wind was blowing and the air had turned that green color we know so well. I went to check what was going on outside and Lottie was like, “Mamu, what are you DOING?!” (She was all for heading to the basement immediately.) I said, “Oh it’s nothing to worry about!” and daughter #3 agreed, “If it starts to hail, we’ll reconsider.”

In no time Lottie had the little ones set up with pillows under the dining room table…

As we sat down to eat (at the table), it started to hail. But the hail was only dime-sized, so we went on and ate our dinner.

All’s well that ends well. That’s life in flyover country.

This is a moving tribute about Sacred Duty: A Soldier’s Tour at Arlington National Cemetery. Lest we forget.

Meanwhile, tonight I’ll be watching They Were Expendable (1945) which has become my Memorial Day tradition.

This is just a great movie. Great action scenes and the romance between Donna Reed and John Wayne is one of the sweetest in cinema history. And General MacArthur makes an appearance.

“That we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain; that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom; and that government, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”

–President Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg Address, 1863

2 Comments
May 23, 2024

Tidying up

by chuckofish

At my granddaughter’s pre-school, they worked on a questionnaire on the last day. In the section “When I grow up”, the 3-4 year olds were asked the question, “What will you do for fun?” Katie answered, “Tidy up.”

I laughed out loud. I’m sure her lovely mother (and probably the pre-school teachers) makes everything fun, à la Mary Poppins, even tidying up, but oh my goodness. She is a girl after my own heart.

I spent the morning tidying up. It is what I do. That and “desk work” as my Aunt Susanne used to say. I have never been one for deep cleaning, but tidying up, yes.

Life is seemingly full of chaos, so tidying up gives us the illusion of some control. We need that illusion. That is why we make our beds in the morning and hang up our clothes. Indeed, studies show that children thrive when there is order, routine and, yes, rules.

For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.

–1 Corinthians 14:33

So relax. Keep tidying up.

And in weather news…

4 Comments
May 20, 2024

Ultimate lacrosse and more

by chuckofish

After getting up early and going to buy flowers at Trader Joe’s and taking them to church where I arranged them for Sunday services, I went with daughter #1 to watch Lottie play lacrosse…

It was quite hot as you can see!

The young bud found a friend while he cooled off under a tree…

After that early start to the day, I took it easy! I read another D.E. Stevenson book (published in 1957)…

…and enjoyed it very much!

On Sunday I went to the early service so I could go to the bud’s last lacrosse game. We had a good sermon on Titus 3:1-8 and another really good Sunday School class. Then it was back to the lacrosse field to sit in the almost 90-degree heat! The bud (and most of the players) was less than enthused.

Summer in STL is upon us I’m afraid.

Meanwhile Katie and Ida were introduced to Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood–they were spellbound.

I will spare you a rant about Scottie Scheffler and the Louisville PD, but this about says it all. And this is perfect:

Absolutely insane! #freescottie

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

–Horatio G. Spafford, 1873

    Have a good week!

    5 Comments
    May 16, 2024

    Be that as it may

    by chuckofish

    The sun came out yesterday! Let the good times roll! However, the din from the cicadas has been so loud as to preclude sitting on the patio or even in the Florida room. I kid you not. When the boy and the little bud came over yesterday afternoon while Lottie was in dance class, they were totally amazed by the number in our yard, covering the ground and on the bushes and in the trees.

    Meanwhile the peonies are blooming in central Illinois…

    Last week you may recall that I recommended watching Tim Challies’ 10-part video tour “Epic”–a journey through Christian history. Since then, I have watched all 10 episodes: 24 countries, 6 continents, 75 flights, 80 museums! I will never travel to all of these countries, so I really appreciated the opportunity to do so–even vicariously and somewhat superficially–with Tim. Each episode is only 25 minutes long. You can do it a few days and it is well worth it.

    Tim ends the last episode with a stop in Kansas City and the Spurgeon Library at the Midwest Baptist Theological Seminary. It’s right around the corner! We should visit!

    (The photo at the top is the boy and daughter #1 at our old house circa 1989.)

    6 Comments
    May 13, 2024

    Ahoy, hoy

    by chuckofish

    Such a busy weekend! Now I will have to recover–and it’s raining again. Well, maybe the cicadas will be washed away (I wish).

    I won an auction for a dresser for daughter #2…

    …so I had to figure out how to pick it up and transport it home. I traded cars with the OM and met daughter #1 at the house on Friday afternoon. We manhandled it into the SUV–we are women, hear us roar!–and made it home where we got it into the garage. Phew! We celebrated by going to happy hour. Later the OM went to Chick-fil-a and brought home dinner. We deserved it.

    I know I sound like a broken record, but it amazes me how no one wants dressers anymore. Is this because everyone has custom closets? (I doubt it.) Or that bedrooms in new-build houses are too small? Anyway, it is possible to find a nice mid-century, made-in-North Carolina, wooden dresser for a song–I paid $40. There may be a few scratches, but nothing that a Tibet Almond Stick won’t fix. Certainly better than anything you can find at IKEA or really anywhere these days.

    On Saturday I got up early and went to daughter #1’s DAR chapter meeting where she was installed as the new Regent…

    …and awards were given to talented high school students…

    (My photos are the worst, but you get the idea.) It was very nice and I am proud of daughter #1 for taking on this big responsibility.

    I went to the early service at church on Sunday so that I could get an early start on the day. Our new young pastor was on fire and gave a really good sermon on Titus 2:11-15. Once again I am inspired to give up irreverent babble and pursue a self-controlled, upright and godly life in the present in-between age. The church was full and the singing was enthusiastic. I was content.

    It was a beautiful day, so in the afternoon daughter #1 drove us to our favorite winery in Jefferson County. We sat in the sun and sipped wine while listening to the musical stylings of a jazz/rock (?) quartet. Listening to live music outside in the fresh air is always fun, even if it does all sound the same.

    Daughter #2 and DN had the same idea…

    The boy and his family watched the bud play lacrosse and then worked in their yard because that’s what daughter #3 wanted and Moms rule on Mother’s Day. I am certainly cool with that. We all had a fun Mother’s Day.

    Earlier in the week daughter #2 went to a Mother’s Day tea at Katie’s pre-school where they went flyover all-out to make their Moms feel special.

    Ya gotta love it!

    P.S. The OM and I also went to a party for a young church friend who is graduating from WashU law school today. He is from Oklahoma and a fine young man. He gives me hope for the future.

    3 Comments
    May 6, 2024

    Auld lang syne

    by chuckofish

    It was a rainy, busy weekend. I went to two of the five (!) scheduled reunion events and I enjoyed myself. However, I reached my level of introvert overload very quickly and baled pretty early both times.

    The highlight of my weekend was when my two oldest friends…

    …came over to my house for lunch on Saturday and we gabbed away for three hours and laughed til we cried. I’m not sure if we lived up to Saint Paul’s direction to “older women” to be “reverent in behavior” and “not slanderers”, but at least we were not drinking. (Titus 2:3) We did not talk about the distant past, but about other more important things. We agreed that it is, indeed, the small things that bring us joy. We are happy to be alive and kickin’ and do not worry about being skinny and wearing false eyelashes. We’re glad to have the same husbands we started out with and children that still talk to us.

    At church on Sunday we had another really wonderful class on Stories as Apologetics–this week on J.R.R. Tolkien and the problem of evil in the LOTR trilogy. Our leader talked about Boethian’s view of Evil vs. The Manichaean (Gnostic) view of Evil and how Good seems to be to be absent in LOTR but isn’t. It is like being back in college for an hour a week. Our sermon was on Titus 2:1-10 and I felt convicted (see above) of my sin and lack of self control, which I readily admit is a good thing.

    Daughter #1 came over on Sunday afternoon and we drank a margarita in honor of Cinco de Mayo and ate the guacamole that the OM had made for the church Pig Roast on Saturday. Unfortunately, the Pig Roast had to be moved inside because of rain. (We skipped it.)

    I watched Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017) with the Rock, Kevin Hart and Jack Black. It is hilarious. No bad language, minimal vulgarity, a clever plot, and good lessons about teamwork and using your gifts–what more can you ask for?

    Also, I love these pics of little Lottie playing against 10-year olds! You go, girl!

    …and the bud too…

    What a badass.

    Have a good Monday!

    4 Comments
    April 29, 2024

    Where the (water) lilies bloom

    by chuckofish

    I was very happy to see that the water lily is blooming in daughter #2’s fish pond!

    Very exciting indeed. Almost as exciting as going to Costco for the first time where “We can buy anything we’d ever want here!”

    The weekend here started off cold and rainy and then turned warm and rainy and that always means severe weather. We dodged another bullet, but it was an unsettled weekend. Par for the course.

    On Saturday the OM and I went to a secular “Celebration of Life” of an old friend who died suddenly in an accident at home. He was one of the first people we met when me moved to Kirkwood 28 years ago. He was the father of three boys, one who was our son’s best friend in elementary school. He was the coach of the soccer team and the basketball team and a scouter. He always reminded me of Henry Fonda. His family went to our old church, but over the years they had drifted away from the Episcopal Church and from organized religion. It was a sad gathering on many levels and yet another reminder that we are all mortal and that our number can come up any day.

    So put your house in order. And by that I mean your spiritual house as well. You also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.

    “Stay dressed for action and keep your lamps burning, 36 and be like men who are waiting for their master to come home from the wedding feast, so that they may open the door to him at once when he comes and knocks. 37 Blessed are those servants whom the master finds awake when he comes. Truly, I say to you, he will dress himself for service and have them recline at table, and he will come and serve them. 38 If he comes in the second watch, or in the third, and finds them awake, blessed are those servants! 39 But know this, that if the master of the house had known at what hour the thief was coming, he would not have left his house to be broken into. 40 You also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.”

    –Luke 12:35-40

    On Sunday we had a good sermon on Church Discipline based on Titus 1:10-16. We also had an excellent Sunday School class about the Epic of Gilgamesh, which pre-dates the Bible. I love that the adult Sunday School classes are always full and people are interested in learning new/old things.

    Meanwhile Mr. Smith spent the night last night because daughter #1 had to get up early and fly to Wyoming.

    So I am taking him to the kennel today. (This is the same kennel where we boarded our dog back in the 1960s! They have been in business since 1935. Isn’t that something?) He will have a nice spa vacay while daughter #1 works hard to keep him supplied with Newman’s Own dog treats.

    Enjoy your Monday!

    5 Comments
    April 25, 2024

    Calmly We Walk through This April’s Day*

    by chuckofish

    We had a rainy day on Tuesday, so the road crew was absent from our street and work stalled. Damn and blast. Yesterday was a beautiful day, but the workmen were slow in getting started and basically did nothing. We’ll see what happens today.

    Since I was given two archival boxes for my birthday, I have been reading through piles of old letters before filing them away. They really are a window into the souls of our ancestors. I especially enjoy the ones my maternal grandmother wrote to my mother when she lived far away in flyover exile.

    Tomorrow morning I have a hair appointment. Have I ever mentioned that I have let my hair grow since last Sept. and it is a “French Twist”? Ellen Coghlin told me I looked 20 years older and tried to get me to cut it. But long it is. I am nearly 65 and willing to look it. I am sure Ellen’s dyed, buffant hairdo does not make her look any younger! And her wrinkles are many.

    Women do not change, do they? Well, I am with my grandmother. I am 68 and willing to look it.

    Today we note the birthday of Maud Hart Lovelace (1892 – 1980), an American writer best known for the Betsy-Tacy series. My daughters were big fans of these books back in the day and now daughter #2 is reading them aloud to three-year old Katie, who loves them. She then “reads” them aloud to her sister and to the world at large. Since she has begun atttending a Lutheran pre-school two mornings a week, Jesus has been introduced as a character in her interpretive readings.

    I approve.

    *Delmore Schwartz, read the poem here.

    Each minute bursts in the burning room,   

    The great globe reels in the solar fire,   

    Spinning the trivial and unique away.

    (How all things flash! How all things flare!)   

    What am I now that I was then?   

    May memory restore again and again   

    The smallest color of the smallest day:   

    Time is the school in which we learn,   

    Time is the fire in which we burn.

    4 Comments
    April 22, 2024

    While the nearer waters roll

    by chuckofish

    How was your weekend? Mine was quiet, but there were donuts on my birthday.

    It was good to be back in church after missing last weekend. We had a really good sermon from a guest preacher on John 21:1-17 and we started a new Sunday School class on stories as apologetics.

    Daughter #1 returned from a quick trip to Florida and she hosted the family for my birthday on Sunday afternoon for happy hour and ice cream cake.

    We walked to the neighborhood park where the twins frolicked and Mr. Smith kept watch.

    He conked out early after his busy day…

    …and so did I.

    This is a good article about losing loved ones and having regrets, in which the author includes this wonderful quote from Jonathan Edwards:

    In every heart in heaven, love dwells and reigns. The heart of God is the original seat or subject of love. Divine love is in him…from God, love flows out toward all the inhabitants of heaven…the angels and saints all love each other. All the members of the glorious society of heaven are sincerely united. There is not a single secret or open enemy among them all. Not a heart is there that is not full of love, and not a solitary inhabitant that is not beloved by all the others. And as all are lovely, so all see each other’s loveliness with full complacence and delight. Every soul goes out in love to every other; and among all the blessed inhabitants, love is mutual, and full, and eternal.

    Enjoy your Monday!

    4 Comments
    April 19, 2024

    Newer every day*

    by chuckofish

    TGIF. It has been a stressful week for this old retired lady. I have had a lot to do, on top of our ongoing street renovation stress.

    So I am going to channel Katie’s vibe this weekend and chill as much as possible.

    However, we do have a birthday to celebrate (mine) amidst other distractions.

    I had my last bible study meeting of the “semester” yesterday–we finished part one (chapters 1-13) of Matthew. I really enjoy this group of old and young ladies who take their prayer work seriously and study very hard. We had a nice potluck salad lunch afterwards. Indeed, I feel very blessed to be in this group. I am grateful that God has been so patient with me over the years and that he has put me in this good place.

    This is a wonderful story from the book God’s Smuggler about Christians communicating. I have heard of this book, but have not read it. I will soon.

    And did you see that an elephant escaped from a circus in Butte, Montana this week and ran through town? The trainer managed to get her under control and there was no need for law enforcement intervention. I guess people in Montana take such things in stride.

    So happy birthday to me and here’s to another trip around the sun!

    *Emily Dickinson, “We turn not older with years, but newer every day.” (from a letter to a cousin, 1874

    4 Comments