dual personalities

Tag: children

The family that plays together stays together

by chuckofish

Studies show that spending leisure time with one’s family – be it playing a game of Scrabble or taking a road trip – enhances the quality of life and the relationships at home. No kidding.

Here are a few pictures of my older brother and his two children literally “playing” together when they gathered from across the country (and from Spain!) during the holidays.

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Fulbright scholar Foster and his old Pappy

Fulbright scholar Foster and his old Pappy

Picking and grinning with geologist daughter Ellen

Picking and grinning with geologist daughter Ellen

They have been playing together since they were little tykes and by now they are pretty good indeed.

Alas, we are not musicians in our family. My children did participate in band in middle school and two into high school, but none of them ultimately continued on with the clarinet, flute or violin. They all sang in the choir as well, but only the boy went on into high school with that. (He put the kobash on a Broadway career, because he thought it would be embarrassing.) I have encouraged him to re-join the adult choir at church, but, for now, that is but a pipe dream of his mother’s. Sigh.

We do not play board games in our family either. We tried that when the children were young, but the boy became hysterical when he lost, so we had to abandon games and we never went back for them. I have never been a game person myself–too many rules to learn.

But we have done plenty of playing I think. And by that I mean talking. We watch movies together and talk about them. Some families go hunting together or ski or fish. Some cook or hike. Or shop. Whatever.

It is the “together” that is important and not what you do I think. What do you do together as a family?

You know something, Wally? I’d rather do nothin’ with you than somethin’ with anybody else.
–Theodore “Beaver” Cleaver

Animals all, as it befell

by chuckofish

Illustration by Ernest Shepherd

Illustration by Ernest Shepard

It was a pretty sight, and a seasonable one, that met their eyes when they flung the door open. In the fore-court, lit by the dim rays of a horn lantern, some eight or ten little field mice stood in a semicircle, red worsted comforters round their throats, their fore-paws thrust deep into their pockets, their feet jigging for warmth. With bright beady eyes they glanced shyly at each other, sniggering a little, sniffing and applying coat-sleeves a good deal. As the door opened, one of the elder ones that carried the lantern was just saying, ‘Now then, one, two, three!’ and forthwith their shrill little voices uprose on the air, singing one of the old-time carols that their forefathers composed in fields that were fallow and held by frost, or when snow-bound in chimney corners, and handed down to be sung in the miry street to lamp-lit windows at Yule-time.

CAROL

Villagers all, this frosty tide,
Let your doors swing open wide,
Though wind may follow, and snow beside,
Yet draw us in by your fire to bide;
Joy shall be yours in the morning!

Here we stand in the cold and the sleet,
Blowing fingers and stamping feet,
Come from far away you to greet—
You by the fire and we in the street—
Bidding you joy in the morning!

For ere one half of the night was gone,
Sudden a star has led us on,
Raining bliss and benison—
Bliss to-morrow and more anon,
Joy for every morning!

Goodman Joseph toiled through the snow—
Saw the star o’er a stable low;
Mary she might not further go—
Welcome thatch, and litter below!
Joy was hers in the morning!

And then they heard the angels tell
‘Who were the first to cry NOWELL?
Animals all, as it befell,
In the stable where they did dwell!
Joy shall be theirs in the morning!’

The voices ceased, the singers, bashful but smiling, exchanged sidelong glances, and silence succeeded—but for a moment only. Then, from up above and far away, down the tunnel they had so lately travelled was borne to their ears in a faint musical hum the sound of distant bells ringing a joyful and clangorous peal.

The Wind In the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
You can read the whole chapter here.

Doesn’t everybody love this book? Even Theodore Roosevelt wrote a fan letter to Kenneth Grahame. You can read it here.

By the way, Kenneth Grahame bequeathed all the royalties from his works to ‘the University of Oxford for the benefit of the Bodleian Library’, an act of generosity that has enabled the Library to purchase many important books and manuscripts over the years. His wife Elspeth Grahame was a great supporter of the Friends of the Bodleian, and made important gifts to the Library through donation and bequest.

On a related note, a descendent of the original Sir Thomas Bodley, who “re-founded” the Oxford library in 1598, ended up in my flyover town and in the 1850s was one of the original members and founders of my own Grace Episcopal Church. There is a Bodley Road here in town as well. Isn’t that something?

But as you know, that is how my mind works.

“…Do you think she’s talented, deeply and importantly talented?”

by chuckofish

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Daughter #2 breezed into town last Tuesday and we had a wonderful time together. We shopped “small” in Kirkwood. We tried a trendy new restaurant in a converted gas station in a hipster south STL neighborhood. The food was amazing.

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We caught up with her old buddy who came over for dinner. (Daughter #2 cooked.)

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Edwina works for Anheuser-Busch–have Bud will travel.

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We over-ate at the boy’s house with his in-laws on Thanksgiving and then watched Planes, Trains and Automobiles together. This picture really says it all.

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We watched one of our favorite movies together. Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Perfect.

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And then it was time for her to return to Maryland.

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Will I ever learn to take these farewells in stride? I doubt it.

Let’s get this party started

by chuckofish

Daughter #2 arrived home yesterday safe and sound.

We stopped on the way home from the airport, as is our tradition, for margaritas.

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Then we went home, unpacked our pajama pants and got comfortable

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and watched our favorite misfit Christmas special.

RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER

Let the good times roll!

Quotations

by chuckofish

Mary

Every book is a quotation;
and every house is a quotation out of all forests, and mines, and stone quarries;
and every man [woman] is a quotation from all his ancestors.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, Representative Men (1850)

It never ceases to amaze me, especially in regards to my grown children, how right Emerson is.

Spending a few days with daughter #1 reminded me that she is such a quotation of this guy:

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and also this gal:

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What a lovely combination of grandparent quotations!

If you really want to hear about it

by chuckofish

Well, I don’t know about you, but I just love Central Park. It really is the coolest. I mean we have a large, beautiful municipal park in my flyover town too, but it quite pales next to New York’s.

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Someone had a brilliant idea back in the mid-1800s. Two men in particular, the poet and editor of the Evening Post, William Cullen Bryant, and the first American landscape architect, Andrew Jackson Downing, began to publicize the city’s need for a public park in 1844. All the big European cities had one, so why shouldn’t we? The state of New York appointed a Central Park Commission to oversee the development of the park, and in 1857 they held a landscape design contest.

Photo of American Elm trees from the Central Park Website

Photo of American Elm trees from the Central Park Website

In 1858 Frederick Law Olmsted and Calvert Vaux won the design competition with a plan they entitled the “Greensward Plan”. They really knocked themselves out. Construction began the same year, continued during the American Civil War, and was completed in 1873.

Central Park is the most visited urban park in the United States.

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You’ll find babbling brooks in the middle of this great metropolis!

Shakespeare "in the park"

Shakespeare “in the park”

And there’s Shakespeare and Burns and Sir Walter Scott and many more statues to see. However, there is no sense of the space being cluttered with objects, which I like a lot. We walked all around the reservoir and down to the skating rink. We climbed to the top of Belvedere Castle, which was not as strenuous as the Walter Scott monument in Edinburgh but I did have a flash-back because the stairs are very similar!

We saw many of the outcroppings of Manhattan schist which we have seen in our favorite movies.

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We walked over those famous bridges as well.

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Across the street from the park and a block or so from daughter #1’s apartment is the wonderful American Museum of Natural History. I had not been there since 1978. Happily, not much has changed!

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One of the largest and most celebrated museums in the world, the museum complex contains 27 interconnected buildings housing 45 permanent exhibition halls, in addition to a planetarium and a library. The museum collections contain over 32 billion specimens of plants, humans, animals, fossils, minerals, rocks, meteorites, and human cultural artifacts, of which only a small fraction can be displayed at any given time, and occupies 1,600,000 square feet. The Museum has a full-time scientific staff of 225, sponsors over 120 special field expeditions each year, and averages about five million visits annually.

Theodore Roosevelt and Indian mate guard the front door.

Theodore Roosevelt and Indian mate guard the front door.

Last Friday we saw many stuffed mammals, the big blue whale, dinosaur skeletons and bones,

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and the wonderful hall of Northwest Coast Indians, which is the oldest extant exhibit in the Museum. There were hundreds of children running around, but they did not bother me. They seemed to be enjoying themselves in this gloriously old-fashioned space–and why wouldn’t they?

Holden Caulfield, you’ll recall, was a big fan of this museum, so I thought about him when I was there.

The best thing, though, in that museum was that everything always stayed right where it was. Nobody’d move. You could go there a hundred thousand times, and that Eskimo would still be just finished catching those two fish, the birds would still be on their way south, the deers would still be drinking out of that water hole, with their pretty antlers and they’re pretty, skinny legs, and that squaw with the naked bosom would still be weaving that same blanket. Nobody’d be different. The only thing that would be different would be you. Not that you’d be so much older or anything. It wouldn’t be that, exactly. You’d just be different, that’s all. You’d have an overcoat this time. Or the kid that was your partner in line the last time had got scarlet fever and you’d have a new partner. Or you’d have a substitute taking the class, instead of Miss Aigletinger. Or you’d heard your mother and father having a terrific fight in the bathroom. Or you’d just passed by one of those puddles in the street with gasoline rainbows in them. I mean you’d be different in some way—I can’t explain what I mean. And even if I could, I’m not sure I’d feel like it.

― J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

I love this particular paragraph and so I have always had a soft spot in my heart for this museum. I know exactly what Holden means, don’t you? Some things should just not change. They are great they way they are. And because we are always changing, we need those stable places in our lives.

It is 25-degrees here in my flyover town this morning. Hope you are keeping warm today!

Postcards from New York

by chuckofish

Well, I am back from New York City! I had a terific time with daughter #1.

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New York is indeed a great and beautiful city. I especially love the Upper West Side and wonderful Central Park. And of course–spending time with daughter #1–priceless!

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More tomorrow after I’ve decompressed a bit!

Happy Trails

by chuckofish

Good-by is a prayer, a ringing cry. ‘You must not go – I cannot bear to have you go! But you shall not go alone, unwatched. God will be with you. God’s hand will cover you’ and even – underneath, hidden, but it is there, incorrigible – ‘I will be with you; I will watch you – always.’ It is a mother’s good-by.

–Anne Morrow Lindbergh, North to the Orient

Well, I got up at 4:30 this morning, after a fitful night’s sleep, to drive daughter #1 to the airport. I have a long day ahead of me at the salt mine, but c’est la vie, n’est-ce pas?

We managed to fit in every favorite hometown thing she wanted to do. Yes, we went to the zoo.

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We went to Grant’s Farm,

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the Missouri Botanical Garden,

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and squeezed in some estate-saling and outlet mall shopping.

We also ate out four times. We even went to church!

And the Cardinals won the National League pennant for the 19th time.

The Missouri Botanical Garden displays its Cardinal pride.

The Missouri Botanical Garden displays its Cardinal pride.

I am not too sad that daughter #1 has jetted back to her glamorous life in NYC, because I am going to visit her there in a few weeks for a quick weekend. Then daughter #2 will be home for Thanksgiving. In between my life will settle back into its old routine.

Thank goodness! I couldn’t keep up this pace for too much longer!

katieandmary

Back in the STL

by chuckofish

phil and mary 1

Daughter #1 flew into town from NYC yesterday with a full agenda of flyover activities in hand.

We’ve already checked off the zoo. And Steak ‘N Shake.

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I am looking forward to a whirlwind weekend! Have a good one.

And Go Cards!

Gathering leaves

by chuckofish

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It is that time of year when the leaves begin to fall and we begin to think about cleaning them up.

Gone are the days when we had lots of free help.

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Sigh.

The boy did come over on Sunday and he helped me achieve an ant apocalypse by destroying a giant ant hill that had been built over the course of some years in a low wall surrounding a tree in the front yard. He came over for brunch, but somehow he always ends up doing some much-needed man-work around the house/yard, for which I am most appreciative.

Here’s a poem to start off the week. Have a good one!

Spades take up leaves
No better than spoons,
And bags full of leaves
Are light as balloons.
I make a great noise
Of rustling all day
Like rabbit and deer
Running away.
But the mountains I raise
Elude my embrace,
Flowing over my arms
And into my face.
I may load and unload
Again and again
Till I fill the whole shed,
And what have I then?
Next to nothing for weight,
And since they grew duller
From contact with earth,
Next to nothing for color.
Next to nothing for use.
But a crop is a crop,
And who’s to say where
The harvest shall stop?”

― Robert Frost