dual personalities

Tag: babies

November 17, 2022

Unspeakably profound

by chuckofish

This article got me thinking about babies and our children and how frivolously we speak of them in and out of the womb.

Indeed, “there is clearly more going on than just a remarkable natural process. It is mysterious and miraculous that a creature would be able to reproduce itself.” Entirely new beings! As a grandmother I have relished watching my three grandchildren grow and change and progress. I paid attention to this with my own kids, but I was always so busy and distracted that I probably didn’t notice all that I should. A grandmother can focus more.

It is amazing to see Katie’s vocabulary expand and her ability to express herself increase daily. She is so similar to her mother and her aunt in looks and demeanor, and yet, she is her own little person.

Of course, our twins, born three months prematurely and spending three full months in the NICU, really are modern-day miracles. Even at a pound and a half, they were fearfully and wonderfully made. The fact that they are bright, healthy, normal kindergartners blows my mind every day.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” (Psalm 139:13-16)

The other day I quoted from an article where the author said that we live in an age marked by infantile ingratitude. Don’t fall into the trap of being ungrateful. Be grateful for your parents who bore you and to the God who created you. As Walt Whitman wrote, “As to me I know of nothing else but miracles.”

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April 13, 2021

“Some days are diamonds/ Some days are rocks”*

by chuckofish

Mood

Hope you are having a diamond of a day, able to enjoy the weather and read a little poetry.

The Real Prayers are not the Words, but the Attention that Comes First

The little hawk leaned sideways and, tilted, rode
the wind. Its eye at this distance looked like green
glass; its feet were the color of butter. Speed, obviously,
was joy. But then, so was the sudden, slow circle
it carved into the slightly silvery air, and the squaring
of its shoulders, and the pulling into itself the long,
sharp-edged wings, and the fall into the grass where it
tussled a moment, like a bundle of brown leaves, and
then, again, lifted itself into the air, that butter-color
clenched in order to hold a small, still body, and it flew
off as my mind sang out oh all that loose, blue rink
of sky, where does it go to, and why?        

–Mary Oliver

Today is the birthday of writer Eudora Welty (1909–2001) whom I have admired for many years. It is always a good day to take down one of her books from a shelf and open and read.

“The events in our lives happen in a sequence in time, but in their significance to ourselves they find their own order, a timetable not necessarily – perhaps not possibly – chronological. The time as we know it subjectively is often the chronology that stories and novels follow: it is the continuous thread of revelation.”

Eudora Welty, One Writer’s Beginnings

I will also note that tomorrow is daughter #2’s birthday.

We will celebrate her birthday in 10 days when she and baby Katie visit for a long weekend. Of course, we can’t wait to hold that baby, but I can’t wait to hold my baby…

…who was a precious bundle of joy not so long ago and is now a beautiful and talented young woman.

Sunrise, sunset. Time is the continuous thread of revelation.

The watercolor is by Louis Michel Eilshemius, painted between 1888 and 1910. (Detroit Institute of Arts)

*Tom Petty, Walls

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December 21, 2020

Postcards from the weekend

by chuckofish

Team gray quilted sweatshirts

The weekend whizzed by. We jumped into our Christmas break with much baby gazing.

The cousins got acquainted. The wee laddie let “Baby Katie” hold his Hot Wheels and when she put one in her mouth, he said, “Don’t put that in your mouth! That’s a car!”

“Peace, brother!”

Katie learned about dance parties with Aunt Mary.

(My beautiful baby with her baby.)

Carla and Becky drove by for a socially distanced outdoor viewing of the wee babe.

Katie checked out the nativity figures and we actually managed to decorate the tree.

We washed a lot of dishes and did many loads of laundry. “She puts the toot in cutie patootie!”

Five days ’til Christmas! We’ll keep baby gazing and counting our blessings. Don’t forget to check out the sky tonight!

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October 28, 2020

Keep swinging

by chuckofish

Once again daughter #1 has been busy criss-crossing the state,

so I am once again filling in on Wednesday with more blather from my world.

I had one of those days yesterday that started at 7:30 am and finished at 7:00 pm! One of those days when the computer guy was at our house for 5 hours. Aaargh. And it rained all day. When I finally sat down in front of the tv and put on The Wind and the Lion (1975), I promptly fell asleep.

So all I have today is this scene from Frasier about Politics: Frasier finds the perfect candidate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCqrOXcJ7wk

And for good measure (and because she’s adorable) here’s a picture of Katiebelle.

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September 28, 2020

“Between my finger and my thumb The squat pen rests”*

by chuckofish

My weekend sped by in a blur. I managed to finish Craig Johnson’s newest Longmire mystery, Next to Last Stand, so that daughter #1 could take it home with her. It was very enjoyable and, as usual, it made me want to pack it all in and move to Wyoming.

I could live here.

(At least part of the year…It does get cold in the winter.)

We worked more in the basement and found more Beanie Babies–monkeys!

We sorted through other boxes of toys and books and games. The wee babes are making out like bandits with new found treasures every week. A snow globe with penguins for Lottie…

…and this c. 1990 Little Tikes “sanitation truck” for the bud were huge hits this weekend. (We were missing the garbage man, but we found a substitute.)

This old wooden train is always a fave.

We are making progress. In one backward step, we went to an estate sale and bought some books (!) for which I have no bookshelf space, but c’est la vie.

When the wee babes came over on Saturday (their parents were going to a party–outside with social distancing, I’m sure) we watched Aladdin (1992) after playtime exhausted us. I had not seen it in probably 25 years. It was no doubt too intense for three-year olds, but they had already seen it, so I am not responsible for traumatizing them. Lottie put a blanket over her head during the scary parts.

When the babes went home, we finally got to have our weekly margaritas and relax. They were very much appreciated.

Sunday afternoon I listened to some podcasts and worked on my elephant needlepoint. One podcast I am listening to and enjoying is Poetry For All with Abram Van Engen, who is an associate professor of English at my flyover university, and another professor from Illinois Wesleyan University. This podcast is not just “for those who love poetry, but those who feel hesitant about it, even those who dislike it altogether.” Try it; you might like it! I find that poetry is good for what ails you.

It is going to be a stressful week for me and I will take it one day at a time. Amen. Praise God.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
    therefore I will wait for him.

Lamentations 3:22-24

*Seamus Heaney, “Digging”

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September 14, 2020

“Thou art giving and forgiving, ever blessing, ever blest”*

by chuckofish

Plexiglass dividers between the seats are so flattering.

I think daughter #1 had a pretty great birthday what with an after-school trip to the zoo with the wee babes and a party at home afterwards (just the fam).

The zoo train is the best.
But sometimes there are bad smells at the zoo. C’est la vie.

On Saturday after FaceTiming with wee Katie, daughter #1 and I really got down to business in the basement.

We went through bins and consolidated a lot of stuff, throwing away a lot on the way.

It was glorious. We still have more to go through, but I am very pleased. There is nothing like getting organized to soothe the soul.

After a trip to the recycling center with a load of cardboard, we stopped at Club Taco for to-go margaritas and guacamole. Then we settled in for a long music session, listening to a cache of CDs from the 1990s we found in the basement.

Good times.

More cowbell!

One of the scripture lessons on Sunday was from Romans:

Welcome those who are weak in faith, but not for the purpose of
quarreling over opinions. Some believe in eating anything, while the
weak eat only vegetables. Those who eat must not despise those who
abstain, and those who abstain must not pass judgment on those who
eat; for God has welcomed them. Who are you to pass judgment on
servants of another? It is before their own lord that they stand or fall.
And they will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make them stand.
Some judge one day to be better than another, while others judge all
days to be alike. Let all be fully convinced in their own minds. Those
who observe the day, observe it in honor of the Lord. Also those who
eat, eat in honor of the Lord, since they give thanks to God; while
those who abstain, abstain in honor of the Lord and give thanks to
God.
We do not live to ourselves, and we do not die to ourselves. If we
live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then,
whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. For to this end
Christ died and lived again, so that he might be Lord of both the dead
and the living.
Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister? Or you, why
do you despise your brother or sister? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. For it is written,
“As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me,
and every tongue shall give praise to God.”
So then, each of us will be accountable to God. (14:1-12)

Let’s try to get through the week without passing judgment on our brothers and sisters, shall we? I know it’s hard, but c’mon.

*Henry Van Dyke, “Hymn to Joy” (Van Dyke wrote this poem in 1907 while staying at the home of Williams College president Harry Augustus Garfield. He was serving as a guest preacher at Williams at the time. He told his host that the local Berkshire Mountains had been his inspiration.)

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August 31, 2020

“You’ve got to take the bitter with the sweet”*

by chuckofish

On Saturday the OM and I decided to take a drive down to Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery on the Mississippi River at Lemay, MO. Both our fathers are buried there, so we found their graves.

I was glad to be reminded that my father’s grave was located on Grant Drive with a nice view. (You will recall that U.S. Grant was assigned to Jefferson Barracks after graduating from West Point in 1843.) ANC III was a proud veteran of two wars and I think he would be pleased with his resting place.

We didn’t tarry.

The muffled drum’s sad roll has beat
The soldier’s last tattoo;
No more on life’s parade shall meet
That brave and fallen few.
On Fame’s eternal camping-ground
Their silent tents are spread,
And Glory guards, with solemn round,
The bivouac of the dead.

From “Bivouac of the Dead” by Theodore O’Hara (1820 – 1867)

In other news I was sad to note the passing of Julia Evans Reed who fought the good fight but lost it finally on Friday. She was a journalist and wrote for Garden & Gun in recent years. She appreciated old things and history, her southern heritage, old friends and good parties. And she was a good writer. Also lost to cancer was Chadwick Bozeman, who soldiered on through surgeries and chemotherapy to make several movies, most notably Black Panther (2018), exhibiting extraordinary courage.

Into paradise may the angels lead thee and at thy coming may the martyrs receive thee, and bring thee into the holy city Jerusalem. (BCP, Burial of the Dead, Rite I)

On a happier note, daughter #2 dressed wee Katiebelle in a smocked dress my mother made for daughter #1 and had a photo shoot. Note the wee babe is wearing the cherry bloomers and matching booties her aunt made to complete the ensemble.

Here is daughter #1 wearing the dress on Christmas in 1984 with her grandma who made it.

Sunrise, sunset.

One of the lessons in Sunday’s liturgy was this wonderful passage from Romans:

Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor. Do not lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints; extend hospitality to strangers.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly; do not claim to be wiser than you are. Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God; for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” No, “if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Words to live by. I especially like the part about leaving room for the wrath of God. Trust that he is in control. Everything will work out.

*Carole King

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July 12, 2020

I drove my Cooper

by chuckofish

This weekend the wee babes came over to play while their Mommy went to the sofa store and the wee laddie found my toy Mini Cooper high up on a bookshelf (quelle eagle eye.) No amount of telling him that it was off limits would prevail, so I said, fine, play with it. (Am I becoming a push-over?) He played with “my Cooper,” along with his “special cars”…

…and his “special book”.

When it was time to go home, however, he made quite a scene when told the Mini Cooper had to stay at Mamu’s house. (I am not a complete push-over.) He was tired, but he put up quite a fight. Later when his Dad got home from work and asked him what he had done that day, he told him all about “my Cooper.” His Dad asked if he played with the Beanie Babies etc and he said, “Yeah, and I drove my Cooper. I love that car.”

I was glad that daughter #1 had come home for happy hour, so that she could help wrangle the nutballs. We deserved those margaritas we had when they left.

Later the OM ordered take out from Amigo’s and we watched The Pajama Game (1957) and sang along with Doris Day and John Raitt.

On Sunday morning I drove my Cooper to an estate sale where I got some needlepoint coasters (can a person ever have too many coasters?) and a book. Daughter #1 found some sewing paraphernalia. She headed back to mid-Mo soon thereafter.

I FaceTimed with the infant and her Mommy. Life is quiet and our joys are simple.

I leave you with these thoughts about Life from Frederick Buechner:

The Temptation is always to reduce it to size. A bowl of cherries. A rat race. Amino acids. Even to call it a mystery smacks of reductionism. It is the mystery. As far as anybody seems to know, the vast majority of things in the universe do not have whatever life is. Sticks, stones, stars, space—they simply are. A few things are and are somehow alive to it. They have broken through into Something, or Something has broken through into them. Even a jellyfish, a butternut squash. They’re in it with us. We’re all in it together, or it in us.

Life is it. Life is with. After lecturing learnedly on miracles, a great theologian was asked to give a specific example of one. “There is only one miracle,” he answered. “It is life.” 

Have you wept at anything during the past year? 

Has your heart beat faster at the sight of young beauty? 

Have you thought seriously about the fact that someday you are going to die? 

More often than not, do you really listen when people are speaking to you instead of just waiting for your turn to speak? 

Is there anybody you know in whose place, if one of you had to suffer great pain, you would volunteer yourself? 

If your answer to all or most of these questions is no, the chances are that you’re dead.

4 Comments
June 22, 2020

i am a little church

by chuckofish

i am a little church(no great cathedral)
far from the splendor and squalor of hurrying cities
--i do not worry if briefer days grow briefest,
i am not sorry when sun and rain make april
 
my life is the life of the reaper and the sower;
my prayers are prayers of earth's own clumsily striving
(finding and losing and laughing and crying)children
whose any sadness or joy is my grief or my gladness
 
around me surges a miracle of unceasing
birth and glory and death and resurrection:
over my sleeping self float flaming symbols
of hope,and i wake to a perfect patience of mountains
 
i am a little church(far from the frantic
world with its rapture and anguish)at peace with nature
–i do not worry if longer nights grow longest;
i am not sorry when silence becomes singing
 
winter by spring,i lift my diminutive spire to
merciful Him Whose only now is forever:
standing erect in the deathless truth of His presence
(welcoming humbly His light and proudly His darkness)

–e.e. cummings

How was your weekend? The boy and daughter #3 brought the wee babes over for a frolic on Saturday morning to celebrate Father’s Day. They mostly played with daughter #1 who was home and happily accompanied them upstairs to explore. Funnily enough they had come over on Friday morning as well (so their parents could go sofa shopping without them) and I played with them upstairs. They reminded me of Goldilocks, wishing to try out all the beds in the house.

Not that they like to nap; they like to “pretend” to nap. When we were in my room, we discussed the wallpaper and how the scenes are Chinese.

Lottiebelle looked at it and thought and then said, “Panda bears are from China.”

https://gfycat.com/constantflusteredkouprey

Their father told me that when he mentioned to the wee laddie that Olympus Mons is the great mountain of Mars (they are very into planets), the WL said, “No, Daddy, Olympus Mons is a volcano.” Are these three-year-olds not amazing? These babes who weighed less than 1.5 1bs. at birth! Think about that for awhile.

Also, I will note, that they can now go up and down stairs without holding on to a railing while holding an armload of stuffed animals/and/or/cars. This is frightening to say the least.

Meanwhile the newest wee babe continues to thrive and gain weight.

It is fun and fascinating to watch these babes grow and learn and to see my own children as parents and aunts and uncles.

Meanwhile we amused ourselves by listening/singing along to a lot of Bob Dylan–always a stress reliever. We also watched The Detective (1968) with Frank Sinatra. (I had not seen it after all.) It may have been edgy in 1968 with its subplots involving homosexuals and a sex addict wife–but it is not now. Also Frank Sinatra phoned in his performance and was terrible, not to mention (way) too old for the part. Maybe it might have worked with Paul Newman or James Garner. Whatever.

I also did laundry, vacuumed, found some baby clothes my mother made for my children and washed them, and went to an estate sale where I bought some books and rescued a needlepoint pillow.

Not bad for a weekend. Now it is back to the salt mine of working remotely where I lift my diminutive spire to merciful Him Whose only now is forever. Have a good week!

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June 15, 2020

“Blessed be the Lord who daily loadeth us with benefits.”*

by chuckofish

IMG_4299

FaceTiming with Mamu and Aunt Mary

This is as close as I got to baby Katiebelle this weekend, but we communicated as best we could. She is truly a cupcake of love.

Daughter #1 came into town for Happy Hour and we pretended we were at Grant’s Farm, eating big soft pretzels and drinking an Anheuser-Busch product in the courtyard of the Bauernhof.

IMG_4301

You gotta make your own fun.

We went to our first estate sale in many moons (wearing masks, of course) and investigated a new neighborhood, but didn’t find any treasures we couldn’t live without. We drove to JoAnn’s Fabrics, but there was a line outside of people waiting to get in (!) so we kept going. The OM ordered a new Cozy Coupe at Target and we picked it up curbside and brought it home for him to put together, which he did with a modicum of cursing.

The updated model is pretty darn cute. Can’t wait for the wee bud to try it out next weekend. Lottiebelle will get her turn, of course, but in reality she prefers to boss her brother around tell her brother where to drive (“Go there!”)

IMG_1363

Driving the old ’88 model

It was a nice weekend, but it’s back to the salt mine and trying to figure out how we’re going to handle taking our courses online in a few weeks. Stressful, to say the least. As always, there was help in the week’s lectionary:

Since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand; and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. Indeed, rarely will anyone die for a righteous person– though perhaps for a good person someone might actually dare to die. But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us. (Romans 5: 1-8)

Bonus flashback: Remember when Lottiebelle was the same size as the Bitty Baby?

Screen Shot 2020-06-05 at 7.54.25 AM

*Psalm 68:19

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