Spirituality | dual personalities

June 11, 2015

“A good man, full of the Holy Spirit and faith.” *

by chuckofish

Today the Episcopal Church observes the feast day of St. Barnabas, the early Christian fondly nicknamed Son of Encouragement (Acts 4:37). He befriended Saul of Tarsus after his conversion and introduced him to the skeptical leaders back in Jerusalem: “But Barnabas took him, brought him to the apostles, and described for them how on the road he had seen the Lord, who had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had spoken boldly in the name of Jesus.” (Acts 9:27)

After that he and Paul (formerly Saul) undertook several missionary journeys together.

Willem de Poorter’s “St. Paul and Barnabas in Lystra”

Eventually the two disagreed about whether to take Barnabas’ cousin/nephew John Mark, whom Paul thought was a quitter, on another trip. The dispute ended with Paul taking Silas as his companion and journeying through Syria and Cilicia, while Barnabas took John Mark to visit Cyprus.

You see, even back then, church people were arguing and separating and going off in a huff. Why should we be surprised when this happens today?

Acts 15:38

I always liked old Barnabas. I’m sure he had to put up with a lot from Paul, who wasn’t always the easiest person/apostle to get along with. I always thought it was sad that their friendship ended the way it did. I’m sure we can all take a lesson from it.

St. Barnabas, with John his sister’s son,
Set sail for Cyprus; leaving in their wake
That chosen Vessel, who for Jesus’ sake
Proclaimed the Gentiles and the Jews at one.
Divided while united, each must run
His mighty course not hell should overtake;
And pressing toward the mark must own the ache
Of love, and sigh for heaven not yet begun.
For saints in life-long exile yearn to touch
Warm human hands, and commune face to face;
But these we know not ever met again:
Yet once St. Paul at distance overmuch
Just sighted Cyprus; and once more in vain
Neared it and passed;–not there his landing-place.

–Christina Rossetti

*Acts 11:24

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May 14, 2015

The road ahead

by chuckofish

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

–Thomas Merton (1915-1968)

The painting is “Spring Sky” by Eric Sloane

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May 12, 2015

“Are you implying that I am unhinged?”*

by chuckofish

My days do have a certain similarity to them. Anyone with a nine-to-five job knows what that is like.

But they are never exactly the same.

It is a good idea to embrace that thought and to make note of the differences. To notice.

For instance, I saw these beauties while going to a meeting on my flyover campus.

And I watched Murder Ahoy (1964) starring the wonderful Dame Margaret Rutherford as Miss Marple.

She is just the best, isn’t she?

All this examining of my day got me thinking about the consciousness examen prayer “technique” which is a simple prayer that can “deepen our awareness of the presence of God and aid our spiritual growth as His disciples.”

1. Feel the stillness in the darkness and try to find God’s presence in it.

2. Gratefully review the events of the day–the good, the bad, and the ugly.

3. What emotions bubble up as you do this? Pay attention to them.

4. Pick out one event from your day and pray from it.

5. When you are finished praying, close silently with a few minute’s rest in God’s presence.

(Read more here.)

I would have to get a lot more disciplined to do this on a regular basis, but it’s not a bad idea. In the meantime, at least I’ll try to pay attention.

*Miss Marple–definitely not unhinged.

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May 5, 2015

Positing the paradox

by chuckofish

Today is Soren Kierkegaard’s birthday (May 5, 1813 – November 11, 1855). Old Soren has always been a favorite of mine.

It is the duty of the human understanding to understand that there are things which it cannot understand, and what those things are. Human understanding has vulgarly occupied itself with nothing but understanding, but if it would only take the trouble to understand itself at the same time it would simply have to posit the paradox.

–Journals, 1847

Kierkegaard is like Thoreau or Emerson in that people take quotes out of context and think he is great (and that they are great for thinking so).

I have no doubt that he would hate that. Let’s try reading one of his books–the whole thing.

“Then faith’s paradox is this: that the single individual is higher than the universal, that the single individual determines his relation to the universal through his relation to God, not his relation to God through his relation through the universal…Unless this is how it is, faith has no place in existence; and faith is then a temptation.”

Well, at the very least I will toast him tonight. Join me, won’t you?

P.S. Why is Kierkegaard not listed on the Episcopal calendar of saints? If it were up to me, he would be.

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April 30, 2015

Into your hands

by chuckofish

Here’s a morning prayer to get you going for the day:

I thank You, my heavenly Father, through Jesus Christ, Your dear Son, that You have kept me this night from all harm and danger; and I pray that You would keep me this day also from sin and every evil, that all my doings and life may please You. For into Your hands I commend myself, my body and soul, and all things. Let Your holy angel be with me, that the evil foe may have no power over me. Amen.

–Martin Luther

How do you like that Playmobil Martin Luther? The OM gave him to me for my birthday!

Have a good Thursday.

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April 28, 2015

Note to self

by chuckofish

Bryce Canyon, Utah

There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every person. And it can never be filled by any created thing. It can only be filled by God, made known through Jesus Christ.

–Blaise Pascal (1623-1662), Pensées

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April 27, 2015

“I know my own and my own know me.”*

by chuckofish

Sunday was Good Shepherd Sunday and so all the hymns and the lessons and the psalm (23) were about Christ, the Good Shepherd.

Window in the Home Moravian Church, Winston-Salem, NC

We even sang one of my favorite hymns from my childhood–“The King of Love My Shepherd Is” with the correct St. Columba tune–which was quite a treat for me.

Sunday was also a beautiful spring day and so I tried to get some work done in the yard–spreading mulch etc.–and I did accomplish a little before my knees started to warn me to take a break. I have learned that it is the better part of valor to quit while ahead, especially when there is more to do later in the day. Yes, I had an actual social event to go to later in the evening and also a “visitation” to attend at a local funeral home on the way.

Life with a capital “L”.

Speaking of Life, the birds who insisted on building a nest on top of the cage we built around the kitchen exhaust fan to keep them from building a nest inside the fan, have hatched their eggs and are now feeding the hatchlings.

Hello, nature.

Unstoppable.

Earlier in the weekend the boy dropped by to borrow the OM’s tuxedo so he could go to the CHS Prom with his HS teacher wife–as chaperones. He says he never got to take her to the Prom when they were teenagers, so they enjoy going every year now that they are old married folks.

Pretty darn cute.

Have a good Monday!

*John 10:14

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April 24, 2015

Kickin’ up dust

by chuckofish

“I have come to believe that by and large the human family all has the same secrets, which are both very telling and very important to tell. They are telling in the sense that they tell what is perhaps the central paradox of our condition—that what we hunger for perhaps more than anything else is to be known in our full humanness, and yet that is often just what we also fear more than anything else. It is important to tell at least from time to time the secret of who we truly and fully are—even if we tell it only to ourselves—because otherwise we run the risk of losing track of who we truly and fully are and little by little come to accept instead the highly edited version which we put forth in hope that the world will find it more acceptable than the real thing. It is important to tell our secrets too because it makes it easier that way to see where we have been in our lives and where we are going. It also makes it easier for other people to tell us a secret or two of their own, and exchanges like that have a lot to do with what being a family is all about and what being human is all about.”

–Frederick Buechner, Telling Secrets

Have a good weekend. Try to find some time to be quiet and think. Turn off the computer. Take a break from social media.

Read some Buechner. Read this.

Watch A Thousand Clowns (1965): Remind yourself why you were “born a human being and not a chair.”

I plan to read some more old letters which I have unearthed in my ongoing basement reorganization/clean-up. Here’s a tidbit from a letter my mother wrote in 1979 when I was in graduate school and my dual personality was at Smith:

It’s around 5 o’clock and I wish you were here to share some sherry and nibblies with me and have a good chat. It’s times like this when I miss you the most. I haven’t had any sherry since you left–it’s the sort of thing I have to have with someone in order to enjoy it.

Some things never change! (Although I have no problem drinking by myself!) Ah, a toast to mothers everywhere who miss their daughters!

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April 16, 2015

Good grief, Charlie Brown

by chuckofish

One of the blogs I follow–Interesting Literature–had a post on 10 Rare But Useful Words Everyone Should Know. The first word is “UHTCEARE“ meaning ‘lying awake before dawn worrying’. I think this should be on my license plate or something. I mean, I do that all the time. All the time.

Do you?

I try to remember the “have no anxiety about anything” commandment:

Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6)

And Jesus was very clear when he said:

Therefore I say unto you, Be not anxious for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than the food, and the body than the raiment? (Matthew 6:25)

And, of course, there is my favorite:

“Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:34)

I know that if I just trust in the Lord, all will be well. But we puritan types have a hard time letting go of taking responsibility.

Well, I guess we can take some solace in the fact that old St. Paul probably had some sleepless nights too:

I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. ¹⁶Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷So then it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. ¹⁸For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. ¹⁹For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. ²⁰Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. (Romans 7: 15-20)

Sigh. In the early morning when I cannot go back to sleep, I sometimes just get up and read.

I am working on being more happy-go-lucky.

Any suggestions?

4 Comments

April 6, 2015

“The world is more than we know.”*

by chuckofish

Did you have a wonderful Easter?

We had a lovely weekend, full of family,

and friends and church-going goodness.

The weather was Easter-appropriate, so we have nothing here to complain about–even if it is supposed to storm all week. C’est la vie.

The magnolias, forsythia et al are bursting forth. Yard bags are filling up. We sat out on the patio and soaked up the vitamin D. Of course, I had hoped to be finished with my basement clean-up/reorganization project by now, but oh well. Projects like this always are bigger than first anticipated. I soldier on. I may have to (literally) light a fire under the OM, but we will keep going.

Next weekend daughter #1 will be home for a visit! She is running in a half marathon, so we will be adventurous and cheer her on downtown (signs, balloons, etc.) Can’t wait!

Have a good week and try to carry forward all the good Easter mojo.

From the Heidelberg Catechism:

Question 45: What does the “resurrection” of Christ profit us?

Answer: First, by his resurrection he has overcome death, that he might make us partakers of that righteousness which he had purchased for us by his death; secondly, we are also by his power raised up to a new life; and lastly, the resurrection of Christ is a sure pledge of our blessed resurrection.

Footnotes: [For “first”] 1 Cor.15:16 For if the dead rise not, then is not Christ raised: Rom.4:25 Who was delivered for our offences, and was raised again for our justification. 1 Pet.1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, [for “secondly’] Rom.6:4 Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. Col.3:1 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Col.3:3 For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. Eph.2:5 Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) Eph.2:6 And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus: [for “lastly”] 1 Cor.15:12 Now if Christ be preached that he rose from the dead, how say some among you that there is no resurrection of the dead? 1 Cor.15:20 But now is Christ risen from the dead, and become the firstfruits of them that slept. 1 Cor.15:21 For since by man came death, by man came also the resurrection of the dead. Rom.8:11 But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.

P.S. Wolf Hall was great!

*Esther in Ben Hur (1959)

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