Spirituality | dual personalities

“The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.”*

by chuckofish

It is that time of year when the Monarch Butterflies appear in flyover country. These pictures are from a friend’s blog. Cool, right?

“Marvelous!” he repeated, looking up at me. “Look! The beauty–but that is nothing–look at the accuracy, the harmony. And so fragile! And so strong! And so exact! This is Nature–the balance of colossal forces. Every star is so–and every blade of grass stands so–and the mighty Kosmos perfect equilibrium produces–this. This wonder; this masterpiece of Nature–the great artist.”

―Joseph Conrad, Lord Jim

Photos by Don Sessions

*Psalm 19:1 (KJV)

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Within our inward temple

by chuckofish

What powerful Spirit lives within!
What active Angel doth inhabit here!
What heavenly light inspires my skin,
Which doth so like a Deity appear!
A living Temple of all ages, I
Within me see
A Temple of Eternity!
All Kingdoms I descry
In me.

An inward Omnipresence here
Mysteriously like His within me stands,
Whose knowledge is a Sacred Sphere
That in itself at once includes all lands.
There is some Angel that within me can
Both talk and move,
And walk and fly and see and love,
A man on earth, a man
Above.

Dull walls of clay my Spirit leaves,
And in a foreign Kingdom doth appear,
This great Apostle it receives,
Admires His works and sees them, standing here,
Within myself from East to West I move
As if I were
At once a Cherubim and Sphere,
Or was at once above
And here.

The Soul’s a messenger whereby
Within our inward Temple we may be
Even like the very Deity
In all the parts of His Eternity.
O live within and leave unwieldy dross!
Flesh is but clay!
O fly my Soul and haste away
To Jesus’ Throne or Cross!
Obey!

–Thomas Traherne, An Hymn Upon St. Bartholomew’s Day

In commemoration of his poems and spiritual writings, Thomas Traherne is included in the anglican calendar of saints. Today is his feast day (in the Episcopal Church) and this is the collect for the day:

“Creator of wonder and majesty, who didst inspire thy poet Thomas Traherne with mystical insight to see thy glory in the natural world and in the faces of men and women around us: Help us to know thee in thy creation and in our neighbors, and to understand our obligations to both, that we may ever grow into the people thou hast created us to be; through our Savior Jesus Christ, who with thee and the Holy Spirit liveth and reigneth, one God, in everlasting light. Amen.”

The stained glass window is one of the four Traherne Windows in Audley Chapel, Hereford Cathedral, created by stained-glass artist Tom Denny in 2007.

And I just thought this was really nice:

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September 26, 2016

Grant us strength and courage*

by chuckofish

⁶Of course, there is great gain in godliness combined with contentment; ⁷for we brought nothing into the world, so that we can take nothing out of it; ⁸but if we have food and clothing, we will be content with these. ⁹But those who want to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. ¹⁰For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, and in their eagerness to be rich some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pains.

¹¹But as for you, man of God, shun all this; pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, gentleness.¹²Fight the good fight of the faith; take hold of the eternal life, to which you were called and for which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

There was a lot of uncomfortable scripture in Sunday’s lectionary starting with the “Alas for those at ease in Zion” cautionary speech from Amos, continuing with Paul’s strong words to Timothy, and concluding with the difficult parable of the rich man and Lazarus. Our rector soft-peddled most of it, urging us to “see in love” and to notice the needy etc. All very well and good, but Amos, Paul and Jesus would have rolled their eyes.

During the Prayers of the People one of the acolytes fainted/had a seizure. Since I sit up front on the epistle side of the church, I had a birds-eye view of the whole thing and it was pretty unsettling. I was unsettled to begin with, because I had just heard that three members of the vestry had resigned, including one person who is a regular pillar of the church.

On the one hand, I was happy that I am so out of it that I had no inkling of any drama going on, but it was unsettling nonetheless. I really hate drama at church.

Our U-verse was out on Friday night, so I was forced to watch a DVD and put Longmire off until we were back online the next day. I watched I’m Not There (2007)–or “Ruminations on the life of Bob Dylan, where six characters embody a different aspect of the musician’s life.”

Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett, Heath Ledger, among others, play the different Bobs. It was interesting, but seemed overly gimmick-y. The best thing about it was the real Dylan playing on the soundtrack.

The boy came over on Saturday and we watched the Cards–Cubs game which was fun.

We won 10-4 so that was especially good too.

And I saw these on Etsy:

Now it is Monday and a very busy work week looms. All will be well, right?

*BCP, Post-communion Prayer

6 Comments

September 14, 2016

The Lord is my refuge

by chuckofish

The boy is okay.
1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High

    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,

    my God, in whom I trust.”

³Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
⁴He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
⁵You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
⁶nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
⁷A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
⁸You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
¹⁰no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
¹¹For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
¹²they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
¹³You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
¹⁵He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

–Psalm 91 (NIV)

The OM and I are heading back home today. Daughter #3 and her mother are staying in Indianapolis with the boy ’til they release him on Friday or Saturday. We were very impressed with the University Hospital in Indianapolis and the A Team that operated on the boy. All is well.

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September 12, 2016

“My ransomed soul he leadeth”*

by chuckofish

I had a rather long to-do list this weekend, and I checked off most everything on it. This included getting my hair cut, going to several estate sales, going to Lowe’s, cleaning up my closet, doing a little yard work, and going to church. Pretty typical.

[Daughter #1 celebrated her birthday in NYC with daughter #2. They had fun (see picture) and cake!]

I started reading The Lamplighter by Maria Susanna Cummins, which daughter #2 sent me. (Sentimental novels of the mid-19th century are a concentration of her doctoral studies.)

Published in 1854, The Lamplighter, Cummins’s first novel, was an immediate best-seller, selling 20,000 copies in twenty days. The work sold 40,000 in eight weeks, and within five months it had sold 65,000. At the time it was second in sales only to Harriet Beecher Stowe’s Uncle Tom’s Cabin. It sold over 100,000 copies in Britain and was translated into multiple different languages.

I am enjoying it immensely. Although Nathaniel Hawthorne may have sneered at it, there is a reason so many people gobbled it up. It is well-written, diverting and instructive, and to the average person struggling along in the daily grind, uplifting.

[Gerty’s] especial favorite was a little work on astronomy, which puzzled her more than all the rest put together, but which delighted her in the same proportion; for it made some things clear, and all the rest, though a mystery still, was to her a beautiful mystery, and one which she fully meant some time to explore to the uttermost. And this ambition to learn more, and understand better, by and by, was, after all, the greatest good she derived. Awaken a child’s ambition, and implant in her a taste for literature, and more is gained than by years of school-room drudgery, where the heart works not in unison with the head.

Agreed.

At church the Gospel lesson was about Christ eating with sinners and the Pharisees grumbling about it. The Apostle Paul reminded us that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, he foremost among them. In the OT lesson, God changed his mind, at Moses’ prompting, and forgave the slackers in the wilderness. Most of us are grumbling Pharisees ourselves, and it is good to be reminded of it. It is good to be reminded of it weekly and to say this prayer of confession:

Most merciful God,
we confess that we have sinned against you
in thought, word, and deed,
by what we have done,
and by what we have left undone.
We have not loved you with our whole heart;
we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves.
We are truly sorry and we humbly repent.
For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ,
have mercy on us and forgive us;
that we may delight in your will,
and walk in your ways,
to the glory of your Name. Amen.

We will forget soon enough and once again be grumbling Pharisees.

Later today the OM and I are driving to Indianapolis where the boy is having surgery tomorrow at Indiana University Hospital. All trace of his cancer is gone, but there is still a tumor and they will remove it. If all goes well, we will return on Wednesday. Please keep us all in your prayers.

*Hymn 410

4 Comments

August 31, 2016

R.I.P. Gene Wilder

by chuckofish

We bid adieu this week to Gene Wilder. You know how I felt about him. He was one of those funny, funny people with sad, sad eyes. The Chaplin film “City Lights,” he said, had “made the biggest impression on me as an actor; it was funny, then sad, then both at the same time.”

On Monday I went to a funeral of an old friend who died on Saturday. According to Jewish law, the body must be interred as soon as practical from the time of death, so his funeral was on Monday. The temple was packed. The funeral consisted of prayers, a eulogy by the rabbi, and testimony from all of the deceased man’s grandchildren, who all clearly idolized and loved their “Boppa”. The cantor sang Psalm 23. Since there is no explicit afterlife in Judaism, the focus was on what a great life he had (he was rich as Croesus), how his family loved him, and how he loved learning (he did). He was a generous man.

I thought of Gene Wilder, whose funeral will no doubt be similar.

May the prayers and supplications

of all Israel

be accepted by their Father who is in Heaven; and say, Amen

Later in the day, I went to my friend’s penthouse to sit shiva with his family and friends. I spoke to his children and told them how much I would miss their father. He was a gentleman of the old school–polite, humble, curious, and detached.

I thought of Gene Wilder. I will miss him too.

4 Comments

August 18, 2016

“My comfort and salvation, Lord, shall surely come from Thee.”*

by chuckofish

Today on the Episcopal Church calendar we remember with a lesser feast the life of William Porcher Dubose (April 11, 1836 – August 18, 1918) .

Dubose served as a Confederate soldier and chaplain in Virginia and was captured and imprisoned at Fort Delaware. During Reconstruction he was an Episcopal minister in Abbeville and Winnsboro, S.C., and became a theologian at the University of the South in Sewanee, Tennessee in 1871. Indeed, according to the Standing Commission on Liturgy and Music, he was “probably the most original and creative thinker the American Episcopal Church has ever produced…He was not widely traveled, and not widely known, until, at the age of 56, he published the first of several books on theology that made him respected, not only in his own country, but also in England and France.”

You can read more about him here. Read the comments section for a long-winded, back-and-forth argument about whether Dubose should be disqualified from the Calendar because of his Confederate ties and his “support” of the KKK during Reconstruction and on and on. Or don’t bother. Whatever.

Here is a quote from a letter written by Dubose to his first wife Annie toward the end of the Civil War where he admits his imperfections:

“I have just commenced today our reading of the Old Testament. I will have to skip all the intervening chapters and begin afresh at the lesson for the day. You must read by the lessons and also keep in mind during the week the Collect, Epistle, and Gospel. It will be sweet to know that we are reading and thinking together. My traveling etc. threw me a little off my balance and I am just recovering again. How is it that we will so often stray away from God when it is so sweet to be near Him and so full of discomfort and wretchedness to be far from Him? If our hope rested on our own faithfulness how miserable we’d be! But blessed be God, it rests upon His faithfulness and not ours. Is not God’s patience and forbearance a mystery! I am almost tempted sometimes to feel that it is useless to try Him again. I have been so often faithless to my most sacred vows. Then I feel I cannot live without Him and I always find Him more ready to receive me. Oh how I wish I could be more consistent and steadfast. The hymn beginning ‘Jesus my strength, my hope’ is a very sweet one to me.”

I have no doubt that God is patient with and forebears even self-righteous comment-writers of the 21st century.

*Jesus, my Strength, my Hope, Charles Wesley, 1742

5 Comments

August 15, 2016

In a gadda da vida, baby

by chuckofish

Weekends that follow a weekend when one of my daughters has visited are always a little sad. You know, she was here and we were doing that, and now she is not here. And it was a rainy weekend to boot!

But I am not one to sit in a slough of despond, so I got busy. Since Gary is coming back this week to paint the living room and paper the dining room, I had to put away all the dishes in my china cabinet and pack up various shelves full of dishes etc. And there were also a lot of very dusty books to move. Good grief what a job!

I suppose it is a good job to do every once in awhile (and should no doubt be done more frequently) in order to dust off the books and be reminded what we have!

I also got a new pair of Tom’s on sale which made me happy.

I read the second lesson in church, a good long one from Hebrews (11:29–12:2) about how we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses, something I believe in strongly. The Gospel was from Luke (12:49–56) where Jesus is at his politically-incorrect best, calling everyone a hypocrite and saying he “came to bring fire to the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled!” Our lady priest reminded us that there is no room for compromise in the Gospel and that the sweet Jesus people like to imagine is a fiction. (I think Zooey had something to say about that to Franny.)

Our organist/choirmaster has been on vacation for several weeks and so the organist substitute was the lady who always reminds me of Helen Feesh on the Simpsons.

I mean seriously.

I left right after the service and got back to work taking down drapes (more dust) and such.

Over the weekend I read Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance, which my dual personality had recommended. Now I recommend it to you. Hard to put down.

In the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep I picked up a book by Eudora Welty and was reminded how really great she is.

It is our inward journey that leads us through time–forward or back, seldom in a straight line, most often spiraling. Each of us is moving, changing, with respect to others. As we discover, we remember; remembering, we discover; and most intensely do we experience this when our separate journeys converge. Our living experience at those meeting points is one of the charged dramatic fields of fiction. (One Writer’s Beginnings)

Sigh. Now it is Monday and it’s back to the salt mines–have a good week!

8 Comments

August 12, 2016

10,000 Reasons

by chuckofish

The sun comes up
It’s a new day dawning
It’s time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass
And whatever lies before me
Let me be singing
When the evening comes

As you know, I listen to Christian radio in the morning as I drive to work. (Stop rolling your eyes). It keeps me focused and positive, especially during this freakazoid election cycle.

Anyway, listening to Matt Redman’s song “10,00 Reasons,” based on Psalm 103, reminded me of how important it is to remember all the reasons to praise the Lord. It may not always seem like there are 10,000 (or even 10) reasons to praise the Lord, but there are.

You might want to make a list. Here is a start: 1. Frederick Buechner turned 90 in July!

2. You have a thousand books on your shelves at home to read.

3. You could barbeque tonight if you so desired.

4. There are still people in the world who make exquisite things like this.

5. GIFs like this make me laugh:

6. Good things are coming.

7. The geraniums are still going strong.

8. The Bible is online and you can look up scripture at will and in your choice of translation.

Over the weekend (another blessing) I’ll be working on my list. How about you?

Bless the Lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His Holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I’ll worship Your Holy name

Have a good weekend!

(The painting at the top is by Karen Mathison Schmidt via Pinterest.)

4 Comments

August 1, 2016

“Not everything in life could be considered material for a sermon…”*

by chuckofish

I had sad news over the weekend. My old friend and rector, the Rev. Ken Semon, died last week as the result of a biking accident at the age of 70. (You can read about it here.)

After leaving flyover country twenty years ago, he had answered a call in Arizona and was still working as an Episcopal priest in Santa Fe at the Church of the Holy Faith, the oldest Episcopal Church in New Mexico. He was really the finest minister and one of the best people I have ever known.

He was also a fraternity brother of Harrison Ford at Ripon College, a fanatical skiier, a PhD in English Literature, and a convert to Christianity. Maybe because he came to Christianity by choice and not by birth, he took it very seriously. A little too high church for my tastes, he was nevertheless a true Christian in every way and in my mind a rather saintly person.

It is appropriate that I have been reading Sidney Chambers and The Shadow of Death, the first book in the Grantchester mystery series, upon which the PBS series is based.

The author James Runcie is the son of the Rt. Rev. Robert Runcie, Archbishop of Canterbury from 198o–1991, and the protagonist, Sidney Chambers, is based on his father. You will recall that Robert Runcie served as a tank commander in WWII and earned the Military Cross for two feats of bravery in March 1945. He was also the only tank commander to capture a submarine.

Anyway, the Rt. Rev. Runcie came to my old church as the Holy Week preacher in the 1990s when Ken Semon was the rector. Runcie was a nice man and a good preacher. (I had lunch with his wife and I thought she was a bit of a pill.) It is nice to know that his son must also be a good guy and an Anglican.

I am enjoying this book a lot and I recommend it.

…but the plain fact was that even before he had involved himself in this criminal investigation he had had too many things on his plate. His standards were slipping and the daily renewal of his faith had been put on the back burner. He thought of the General Confession: ‘We have left undone those things which we ought to have done; and we have done those things which we ought not to have done…’

He started to make a list, and at the top of the list, as he had been advised at theological college, was the thing that he least wanted to do. ‘Always start with what you dread the most,’ he had been told. ‘Then the rest will seem less daunting.’ ‘Easier said than done,’ thought Sidney as he looked at the first item on the list of duties.

As you know, I do not believe in coincidence. I believe in the whispering voice saying, “You’re doing fine.”

Into paradise may the angels lead thee, Ken, and at thy coming may the martyrs receive thee, and bring thee into the holy city Jerusalem.

*Canon Sidney Chambers, “Grantchester” by James Runcie

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dual personalities

Category: Spirituality

October 6, 2016

“The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.”*

by chuckofish

September 27, 2016

Within our inward temple

by chuckofish

September 26, 2016

Grant us strength and courage*

by chuckofish

September 14, 2016

The Lord is my refuge

by chuckofish

September 12, 2016

“My ransomed soul he leadeth”*

by chuckofish

August 31, 2016

R.I.P. Gene Wilder

by chuckofish

August 18, 2016

“My comfort and salvation, Lord, shall surely come from Thee.”*

by chuckofish

August 15, 2016

In a gadda da vida, baby

by chuckofish

August 12, 2016

10,000 Reasons

by chuckofish

August 1, 2016

“Not everything in life could be considered material for a sermon…”*

by chuckofish