dual personalities

Category: Spirituality

A child of God

by chuckofish

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There is no promise that everything will be rosy. The first thing is not to play savior of the world but to keep living in the world as a child of God. I see all these things happening, but I do not allow them to seduce me into the darkness. I live in the world but belong to God. If you live a life of watching and waiting, you will know what kind of call you have. You are not called to solve every problem in the world.

–Henri Nouwen

The woodcut is “Light Through the Trees” by Hajime Namiki

Freed and forgiven

by chuckofish

Time for a little Wednesday gospel inspiration.

Turn it up and sing loud.

Let us conduct ourselves becomingly

by chuckofish

Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not kill, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this sentence, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 10 Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law. 11 Besides this you know what hour it is, how it is full time now for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed; 12 the night is far gone, the day is at hand. Let us then cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light; 13 let us conduct ourselves becomingly as in the day, not in reveling and drunkenness, not in debauchery and licentiousness, not in quarreling and jealousy. 14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.

(Romans 13:8-14)

On Sunday I read the second lesson in church. This made me very happy, because it was a great passage, especially that line about “salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed;  the night is far gone, the day is at hand.”

In other news I went to the auction as planned on Saturday and made a few purchases. I rescued a little drypoint etching by Ernst Oppler (1867-1929) which no one wanted, but which I really like.

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I also bid on and won an English Pembroke table with drop leaves which is quite nice. There were other nice things, but I restrained myself. I loaded up the amazing Mini Cooper and trundled home.

I spent the rest of the weekend puttering around the old manse, doing laundry, vacuuming, dusting, and reading the newest Longmire out in the Florida room. I finished it and now will have to wait ’til the next installment which should come out in about a year! It was quite a cliffhanger too…

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The OM left for a conference in Philadelphia on Sunday, so I had to make dinner for the boy and daughter #3. I managed to throw something together (toasted ravioli); the babes had some orange food.

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I must also note that today is daughter #1’s birthday! We won’t be able to celebrate together until two weeks from now, but we’ll toast her tonight for sure!MWC.jpeg

You’ve come a long way, baby!

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Here’s to a wonderful year! (And a good week!)

And, oh, what’s that you say? The Cards are only 2 games back from first place?

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Of course, they are.  Screen Shot 2017-09-10 at 8.16.25 PM.png

“Forgiveness is one of the first things”

by chuckofish

This struck me as pertinent today. What do you think?

…[W]ho talks about forgiveness these days, other than the people who come to this place, or to places like this? What politician, what public person, do we hear standing up and saying that we must forgive? The message we are likely to hear is one of blame, of how this person or that person must be held to account for something bad that has happened. It is a message of retribution–that is all it is–a message of pure retribution, sometimes dressed up in concern about victims and public safety and matters of that sort. But if you do not forgive, and you think all the time about getting even, or punishing somebody who has done you a wrong, what are you achieving? You are not going to make that person better by hating or punishing him; oh no, that will not happen…

My brothers and sisters: do not be afraid to profess forgiveness. Do not be afraid to tell people who urge you to seek retribution or revenge that there is no place for any of that in your heart. Do not be embarrassed to say that you believe in love, and that you believe that water can wash away the sins of the world, and that you are prepared to put this message of forgiveness right at the heart of the world. My brothers and sisters, do not be afraid to say any of this, even if people laugh at you, or say that you are old-fashioned, or foolish, or that you believe things that cannot be believed. Do not worry about any of that–because love and forgiveness are more powerful than any of those cynical, mocking words and will always be so. Always.

–The Anglican bishop of Botswana in Precious and Grace by Alexander McCall Smith

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The (real-life) Anglican Holy Cross Cathedral in Gaborone, Botswana

A tisket, a tasket

by chuckofish

Daughter #1 is coming home for the long weekend, and for a moment last night I thought, “Oh, another trip to the airport!” And then I thought, “No! She’s driving home!” Yippee!

Earlier in the week daughter #2 got the online file of the pictures of her wedding from her photographer. She is plowing through them. What a job! It all seems like a long time ago, you know?

Screen Shot 2017-08-31 at 9.09.01 AM.pngThe wee babes were so much smaller!

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Two months later, little Lottiebelle seems so grown up!

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But will her daddy ever catch up on his sleep? Maybe he’ll get a chance this weekend! Of course, he’ll be chasing this little guy around…

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In other news, today the Episcopal church remembers David Pendleton Oakerhater (also known as O-kuh-ha-tuh and Making Medicine), who was a Deacon and Missionary, on their calendar of lesser feasts and fasts. Oakerhater was an honored Cheyenne warrior who fought in the Indian Wars of the late nineteenth century.

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While a prisoner of war in St. Augustine, Florida, he was converted to Christ. After being released, he was baptized, taking the name David Pendleton in honor of his sponsors Sen. and Mrs. George Pendleton, and studied for holy orders in the Episcopal Diocese of Central New York.

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(Side note: Senator Pendleton was the one who pushed a bill through Congress to found  the Carlisle Indian Industrial School in Pennsylvania.)  In 1881 Oakerhater was ordained deacon and returned to his tribe in the Indian Territory, accompanied by his mentor, the Rev. John Wicks. Oakerhater addressed his former comrades-in-arms, “…You remember when I led you out to war I went first and what I told you was true. Now, I have been away to the East and I have learned about another captain, the Lord Jesus Christ, and He is my Leader. He goes first, and all He tells me is true. I come back to my people to tell you to go with me now on this new road, into a war that makes peace…”

Wicks retired in 1884 because of ill health, but Oakerhater continued, winning hundreds to Christ. His people called him “God”s Warrior” and “Peace Chief.” He established the Whirlwind School near Fay, Oklahoma, a landmark in the education of the Cheyenne. For nearly half a century David Pendleton Oakerhater was a tower of strength and a symbol of the new faith to his Native American brethren. He died in 1931.

O God of unsearchable wisdom and mercy, you chose a captive warrior, David Oakerhater, to be your servant, and sent him to be a missionary to his own people, and to execute the office of deacon among them: Liberate us, who commemorate him today, from bondage to self, and empower us for service to you and to the neighbors you have given us; through Jesus Christ, the captain of our salvation; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God for ever and ever. Amen.

You can read portions of the BCP in Cheyenne here.

Have a great long weekend!

Like a twig

by chuckofish

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I have had a very busy month, and, indeed, a busy summer. Work has been especially stressful. I prefer my summers more low-key, but sometimes we don’t have a choice and we try to go with the flow.

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Neal: Oh, I know. You just go with the flow. Del: Like a twig on the shoulders of a mighty stream.

When I was in high school and college a busy social life was a sign of popularity. I was never very busy back then, so later, when my life got busier, I embraced it.

But last week Joyce Meyer reminded me that we are not called to be busy. We are called to be fruitful.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness…(Galatians 5:22-23)

So how are you doing with the fruit? 

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Are you triggered by many things these days? I have to say, this is a favorite and oft-used emoji on my group text these days. I need to work on that.

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek His grace. And then when this day is done I will place my head on my pillow and rest.”
― Max Lucado

Steadfast resolution

by chuckofish

We had perfect flyover weather this weekend–and to think, it was 108-degrees last Saturday! Anyway, we had a pleasant weekend, although we did very little. I went to a few estate sales and got a few things,

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including this book which I have been looking for for quite some time.

I also found a nice Hitchcock table and four chairs for daughter #1 who will now have room in her flyover apartment for such things!

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After taking the table apart, the OM and I wrestled everything into my Mini Cooper and his Accord and were pretty proud of ourselves for doing so.

I also sat outside and read a good deal of Longmire #9, which was excellent. It includes exchanges like this:

I opened the volume to the title page and read: “The Works of Hubert Howe Bancroft, Volume XXV, History of Nevada, Colorado, and Wyoming 1890.” I gently closed the heavy, leather-bound hardback and rested it against my chest. “Is this book for sale?”

She smiled at me with all the warmth of a Moroccan rug salesman. “Do you know what it’s worth?”

“I do.”

“Twenty-five dollars.”

I studied the marbled edges of the pages. “That’s not what it’s worth.”

“I wasn’t negotiating a price; I was simply trying to see if you knew the value.” She sighed deeply and picked up another from one of the towers near her. “I’m past the point of caring what things cost; I just want to know that beautiful and important objects are in the hands of people who will appreciate them.”

…I stood there holding the two books and looking at the piles around us–they were like literary land mines just waiting to explode minds…

And this:

He smiled, and a line settled alongside the upturned corner of his  mouth as he popped the lid on the center console–he knew all my caches and cliches–and pulled out an extra box of shells. “What other weapons do we have?”

I started the Bullet and pulled the gear selector down into drive. “Steadfast resolution.” I turned and looked at him, not as if he would take the option, but it had to be said. “If you want out now would be the time.”

He actually laughed as he reloaded the round. “I try never to miss an episode of Steadfast Resolution–it is my favorite program.”

Having finished Longmire #9, I am now reading Cheyenne Autumn by Mari Sandoz, a classic novel published in 1953 about the 1,500-mile flight of the Northern Cheyenne from the Indian Territory back to their home in the Yellowstone region in 1878–because Henry Standing Bear put it on his list of 10 Books to Read. Is it weird to take literary suggestions from fictional characters?

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I don’t think so either.

Meanwhile we continued to receive adorable pictures of the wee babes in Florida

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We also heard from daughters #1 and #2 enjoying one last weekend together in NYC!

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I went to church because I was reading and was treated to this lesson:

26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.  28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.  30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?  32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?  33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.  35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  36 As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”  37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  (Romans 8:26-39)

I don’t know about you, but I cannot read verses 35-39 without a tear coming to my eye. Great stuff.

Have a great week!

There ain’t nothing gonna steal my joy*

by chuckofish

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I am looking forward to catching up on some sleep this weekend, how about you?

I have no plans, and the wee babes are in Florida.

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IMG_1418.jpgThey appear to be enjoying themselves…but I miss them!

By the way, today is the anniversary of the wee babes’ parents’ wedding! It’s been five years since they tied the knot. They’ve been through a lot and we’re very proud of them.

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God the Holy Trinity make you strong in faith and love,
defend you on every side, and guide you in truth and peace;
and the blessing of God almighty,
the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,
be among you and remain with you always.

Amen!

Have a great weekend!

“Stay calm, have courage and wait for signs”*

by chuckofish

Screen Shot 2017-07-09 at 2.01.32 PM.pngWell, there is bound to be a big let-down after a big event that you have planned for so long…IMG_5623.JPG.jpegIMG_5935.JPGIMG_5933.JPGIMG_5934.JPGIMG_5936.JPGIMG_5940.JPG…and I am in the middle of it. Good grief, two weeks of non-stop socializing with family and friends and people staying in your house…IMG_5585.JPG.jpeg

IMG_5596.JPG.jpegBut c’est la vie. This past weekend I did very little but straighten up the house and do laundry. I still have more straightening to do, but I made a lot of progress.

I also spent a good amount of time with my new best friend Walt Longmire, who has joined the ranks of my small club of Best Fictional Characters Ever (Holden Caulfield, Philip Marlowe, Dick Summers…). The book (NOT to be confused with the television show) I just finished was As the Crow Flies, which ends with Walt’s daughter getting married in a traditional Cheyenne ceremony.

…the two birds I’d noticed were crows circling right above the meadow, the primaries of their wing tips spread like fingers as they rode the thermals that lifted them into the cloudless sky.

Maybe it was an omen, but I decided to take it as a good one. I’d heard that crows mate for life and are known to raise their young for as long as five years.

Sometimes you don’t get that long.

I thought about Audrey Plain Feather and how her life hadn’t turned out the way she’d hoped–maybe nobody’s did.

My wife Martha’s hadn’t. Mine hadn’t. Even Henry’s hadn’t.

Maybe Cady’s would.

It’s hopes like this that you cling to at major turning points in your life and, more important, the lives of your children. You keep going, and you hope for the best, and sometimes, maybe not very often, your hopes come true.

I also watched Red Beard (1965) directed by Akira Kurosawa and starring Toshiro Mifune. I had read about this film on the Mockingbird website and knew it was a favorite movie of the Rev. John Zahl, but had never seen it or really heard much about it. Indeed,  the British Film Institute’s 2015 list of “10 Essential Kurosawa Films” did not feature Red Beard. But there is a Criterion Films DVD and so I got it from Netflix.

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And let me tell you, this is a great, great movie! It poses the question, “Why is there so much suffering in the world?” The answer is illusive, as we know, but there is solace to be found in knowing that there are, indeed, good people in the world. This is the lesson learned by several characters in the movie including the protagonist, a young, arrogant doctor played by Yuzo Kayama. Red Beard, Toshira Mifune, is one of the good people.  He has learned to overcome his own arrogance in order to love people where they are and to help them. It reminded me of Sunday’s Gospel, where Jesus says, “Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11: 30)

Indeed, the movie is about love and grace and is absolutely amazing. There are so many great scenes–I tear up just thinking about them!–such as the scene where the clinic serving women scream the name of the dying child (“Chobu!”) down the well to pull his soul back from the dead. Do not put off seeing this great movie because it is three hours long and you think you are not in the mood for a “downer” movie. It is inspiring. Also, I was struck by the acting in this movie, which is so, so good and rather subdued by Japanese standards.

Anyway, I just loved it and highly recommend it to you. I watched it alone, of course. The OM left after half an hour to water the shrubs. I guess he wasn’t in the mood.

But, hello. Someone left this “toast prop” at my house!

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It’s the simple things, right?

*Cheyenne motto

“Trouble with you is The trouble with me”*

by chuckofish

I spent the weekend cleaning my house so it will be spic and span for all the people who will be arriving this week for the nuptials on Saturday.

The OM and I did make it down to Forest Park on Saturday morning…

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to go to the new exhibit at the Art Museum before it opens to the general public.

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It was pretty special, and I enjoyed our cultural outing.

1-Reigning-Men-1024x682.jpgWe stopped at First Watch on the way home and I enjoyed my avocado toast. Then we headed home and back to gussying up the homestead.

The weather, of course, was absolutely perfect this weekend. God knows (literally) what next weekend will be like. C’est la vie.

I went to church because I was filling in for a friend as the intercessor. They have switched over to Enriching Our Worship, the modern “supplement” to the BCP, for the summer. “The liturgy is intended to expand the language, images and metaphors used in worship in a more contemporary and gender inclusive way.” Just shoot me. I guess I will be taking the rest of the summer off. I’m sure no one will miss me or my rolling eyes.

We watched Long Strange Trip (2017), the Amazon documentary about the Grateful Dead.

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I like the Grateful Dead as much as the next person my age, and Jerry Garcia was a fellow Episcopalian after all, but I was frankly shocked to find out the extent of his drug addiction and the longterm use of psychedelic drugs by the band. As usual, I am not cool enough to understand the Dead. I wasn’t in high school and nothing has changed.

Anyway, I can’t really recommend the documentary. The OM watched the whole four hours (!) but I baled and went back to Absaroka County and reading about Walt Longmire, who, as we know, is more my cup of tea.

And this little guy can now turn over from his back to his tummy. Brilliant.

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Enjoy your Monday. Nate and Susie arrive today!

*Casey Jones, Robert C. Hunter, Jerome J. Garcia