dual personalities

Category: Spirituality

March 9, 2023

What are you reading?

by chuckofish

Blessed is the King

who comes in the name of the Lord.

Assist us mercifully with your help,

O Lord God of our salvation,

That we may enter with joy

upon the contemplation of your mighty acts…

–BCP

Here are two books that I am reading in these weeks leading up to Easter. I find it helpful to have some structure in my reading and these two books fit the bill. The Powlinson devotional was put together by his wife after his death in 2019, using his journals and other writings. What a blessing to have this book from this dear fellow who was also the most renowned and respected biblical counselor of our time.

As you know, I am also reading the book of Daniel in my Bible Study group. I am enjoying it a lot. There are so many comparisons one can make with our present cultural situation. The writing is on the wall: “Mene, Mene, Tekel, and Parsin.” (5:25) You have been weighed in the balance and found wanting.

Here are some links that might interest you, including this good one from Tim Challies: “But I wonder: Do we really mean it? Are we really “ever, only, all for thee?” Do we really surrender all? Or do we surrender merely some or most? Do we offer him the best of what we have or those bits we know we can do okay without?”

And I liked “24 Lessons from 24 Years of Marriage.”

Ligonier has a new 5-Minutes in Church History daily podcast. You can listen to it here.

And Lauren Daigle has a new album coming out in May. You can listen to the first song here.

Enjoy your Thursday! Read a good book, listen to Jesus, do a puzzle, and take heart and remember–God, as always, is sovereign.

2 Comments
June 15, 2020

“Blessed be the Lord who daily loadeth us with benefits.”*

by chuckofish

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FaceTiming with Mamu and Aunt Mary

This is as close as I got to baby Katiebelle this weekend, but we communicated as best we could. She is truly a cupcake of love.

Daughter #1 came into town for Happy Hour and we pretended we were at Grant’s Farm, eating big soft pretzels and drinking an Anheuser-Busch product in the courtyard of the Bauernhof.

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You gotta make your own fun.

We went to our first estate sale in many moons (wearing masks, of course) and investigated a new neighborhood, but didn’t find any treasures we couldn’t live without. We drove to JoAnn’s Fabrics, but there was a line outside of people waiting to get in (!) so we kept going. The OM ordered a new Cozy Coupe at Target and we picked it up curbside and brought it home for him to put together, which he did with a modicum of cursing.

The updated model is pretty darn cute. Can’t wait for the wee bud to try it out next weekend. Lottiebelle will get her turn, of course, but in reality she prefers to boss her brother around tell her brother where to drive (“Go there!”)

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Driving the old ’88 model

It was a nice weekend, but it’s back to the salt mine and trying to figure out how we’re going to handle taking our courses online in a few weeks. Stressful, to say the least. As always, there was help in the week’s lectionary:

Since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand; and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. Indeed, rarely will anyone die for a righteous person– though perhaps for a good person someone might actually dare to die. But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us. (Romans 5: 1-8)

Bonus flashback: Remember when Lottiebelle was the same size as the Bitty Baby?

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*Psalm 68:19

5 Comments
April 10, 2020

“Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord.”*

by chuckofish

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Today is Good Friday and I am taking the day off. Yes, I am still home–where else would I be?–but I am not checking my work email and reading spreadsheets or attending Zoom meetings. I will try to focus on the day, starting with John 13: 31–18:1 and moving on through the readings of the day. We’ll see how far I get.

For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. (Romans 7:15)

Today is also the birthday of Lew Wallace (April 10, 1827 – February 15, 1905)…

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…Civil War General, Governor of the territory of New Mexico when it was quite a hotspot, and author of Ben-Hur. I will toast him tonight as I watch Ben-Hur (1959), which as you know, is a Good Friday tradition in my family.

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Also I will note that tomorrow is the anniversary of the day Michael Curtiz died in 1962. He was an amazing director, one of the best. He was “the classic example of a studio director in that he could turn his hand to almost anything. He could go from any genre to another, and somehow this Hungarian knew exactly how those genres worked.” (film historian David Thomson)

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From Captain Blood (1935) to The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938) to The Santa Fe Trail (1939) to Casablanca (1941) to Mildred Pierce (1945) to Life With Father (1947) to White Christmas (1954) and King Creole (1958)–you can’t go wrong. Here’s a list of his impressive filmography.

Curtiz didn’t direct any religious or biblical epics, but he did direct The Egyptian (1954) which was based on an international best seller by Mika Waltari published in the 1940s. I might have to check it out.

Screen Shot 2020-04-09 at 10.41.24 AM.pngMeanwhile the Babylon Bee continues to amuse:

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Way harsh, but not unfair.

Have a blessed Easter. Celebrate it in whatever way makes your heart sing! Even if it’s just on your computer, celebrate it! Eat some Episcopal soufflé, pop the prosecco and watch Ben-Hur!  Alleluia, Christ is risen indeed.

“O death, where is thy victory?
O death, where is thy sting?”  The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

(I Cor. 15:55-57)

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*Ezekiel 37:4

5 Comments
February 26, 2020

Sackcloth and ashes

by chuckofish

Daughter #1 usually posts on Wednesdays, but since she is on the road, traveling around the state, I am pressed into service.

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The OM and I went to the pancake supper at church last night as we usually do on Shrove Tuesday. No wild parties for us. Just pancakes–good times.

Now, on to Lent.

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Here are some wise words from Frederick Buechner to get us thinking for the 40 days of Lent:

In many cultures there is an ancient custom of giving a tenth of each year’s income to some holy use. For Christians, to observe the forty days of Lent is to do the same thing with roughly a tenth of each year’s days. After being baptized by John in the river Jordan, Jesus went off alone into the wilderness, where he spent forty days asking himself the question what it meant to be Jesus. During Lent, Christians are supposed to ask one way or another what it means to be themselves.

If you had to bet everything you have on whether there is a God or whether there isn’t, which side would get your money and why?

When you look at your face in the mirror, what do you see in it that you most like and what do you see in it that you most deplore?

If you had only one last message to leave to the handful of people who are most important to you, what would it be in twenty-five words or less?

Of all the things you have done in your life, which is the one you would most like to undo? Which is the one that makes you happiest to remember?

Is there any person in the world or any cause that, if circumstances called for it, you would be willing to die for?

If this were the last day of your life, what would you do with it?

To hear yourself try to answer questions like these is to begin to hear something not only of who you are, but of both what you are becoming and what you are failing to become. It can be a pretty depressing business all in all, but if sackcloth and ashes are at the start of it, something like Easter may be at the end.

— Whistling in the Dark

Well, there’s some food for thought.

4 Comments
February 25, 2020

“A lamp shining in a dark place”

by chuckofish

We did not follow cleverly devised myths when we made known to you the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but we had been eyewitnesses of his majesty…So we have the prophetic message more fully confirmed. You will do well to be attentive to this as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts. First of all you must understand this, that no prophecy of scripture is a matter of one’s own interpretation, because no prophecy ever came by human will, but men and women moved by the Holy Spirit spoke from God.

–2 Peter 1:16-21

I read this scripture passage in church on Sunday. I wish it had been possible to underscore certain parts–no prophecy of scripture is a matter of one’s own interpretation–but I am not that good a reader! (And we all know there is really nothing worse than a lay reader who tries to make a point.)

My weekend was pretty quiet. I went to four estate sales on Saturday and wore myself out. I didn’t even get anything! But it was fun to be out on a sunny day. On Sunday after church I puttered around the house, doing laundry, vacuuming and catching up on ‘desk work.’

I took a nap before the wee babes descended on us…but it turns out that we wore them out:

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They should have taken a nap!

I finished reading The Chain by Paul Wellman. I am definitely going to look into other fiction from the 1940s…

Screen Shot 2020-02-24 at 4.39.48 PM.pngI have actually read a few of these and some I have heard of because they were made into movies. But who has ever heard of Frank Yerby? Well, turns out he was actually the first African-American to have a book purchased for screen adaptation by a Hollywood studio, when 20th Century Fox optioned The Foxes of Harrow, which was the first novel by an African-American to sell more than a million copies!

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“Three women threaten to destroy Stephen Fox and his Louisiana empire in the passionate days before the Civil War.”

Why isn’t Yerby more famous? 

Anyway, before I check the above titles out, I am going to read the newest Adamsberg mystery by Fred Vargas, The Poison Will Remain. The plot has to do with brown recluse spiders!

And here’s some mid-week inspo from our pal Zach Williams:

Enjoy your Tuesday!

5 Comments
February 4, 2020

A little fishing village where there are no phones

by chuckofish

The name of the author is the first to go
followed obediently by the title, the plot,
the heartbreaking conclusion, the entire novel
which suddenly becomes one you have never read,
never even heard of,

as if, one by one, the memories you used to harbor
decided to retire to the southern hemisphere of the brain,
to a little fishing village where there are no phones.

Long ago you kissed the names of the nine Muses goodbye
and watched the quadratic equation pack its bag,
and even now as you memorize the order of the planets,

something else is slipping away, a state flower perhaps,
the address of an uncle, the capital of Paraguay.

Whatever it is you are struggling to remember
it is not poised on the tip of your tongue,
not even lurking in some obscure corner of your spleen.

It has floated away down a dark mythological river
whose name begins with an L as far as you can recall,

well on your own way to oblivion where you will join those
who have even forgotten how to swim and how to ride a bicycle.

No wonder you rise in the middle of the night
to look up the date of a famous battle in a book on war.
No wonder the moon in the window seems to have drifted
out of a love poem that you used to know by heart.

–Billy Collins

Older readers will relate to this poem. I certainly do. Billy Collins wrote it when he was 58 and he is still going strong twenty years later, so take heart, right?

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In other news, my vestry retreat went well. It always helps when half the group stops at the Hofbrauhaus in Belleville, Illinois for happy  hour on the way to the retreat. (This is an Episcopal Church vestry after all.)

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I got home in time on Saturday to relax and recover, and on Sunday I got my laundry/ chores/puttering done. But I could definitely have used another day off. The wee babes came over for dinner with their parents and we had a merry time. At one point we were discussing the fact that the governor was in Florida for the Super Bowl and Lottie told me that her Noni and Papa (the other grandparents) were in Florida. I said, yes, I know. There are a lot of people in Florida. She looked at me and repeated what she had said, definitely with a tone.

I am a blockhead.

We did not watch the Super Bowl. Instead, after everyone had gone home, the OM and I watched The Matrix (1999) at the recommendation of the boy. I had never seen it! I enjoyed it, although I cannot say I really understood what was going on most of the time.Screen Shot 2020-02-03 at 1.43.34 PM.pngWell, I am trying to enjoy the warm spell we are experiencing until the next wintry mix assails us on Wednesday. Par for the course in flyover country!

Keep re-reading those books you’ve forgotten.

“We deliberately forget because forgetting is a blessing. On both an emotional level and a spiritual level, forgetting is a natural part of the human experience and a natural function of the human brain. It is a feature, not a bug, one that saves us from being owned by our memories. Can a world that never forgets be a world that truly forgives?”
― Tim Challies, The Next Story: Life and Faith after the Digital Explosion

Painting by Jacob D. Wagner (American, 1852-1898)
6 Comments
January 21, 2020

What are you reading (and watching)?

by chuckofish

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I received some good books for Christmas and have picked up a few since then. I just finished The Great Fire by Shirley Hazzard, which won the National Book award in 1980. I like her and it is a joy to read her prose and this story, which takes place in the Far East right after WWII, is thought-provoking. I am also reading the story of Elihu Washburne, who was the U.S. minister to France during the siege of Paris in 1871. It is an amazing story–which I had all but forgotten (if I ever actually knew). Washburne stayed at his post while the Prussians laid siege to Paris and afterward when the revolutionaries of the Commune embarked on a reign of terror that filled the streets with blood. Zut alors!

I didn’t do much over my long weekend. I vacuumed and straightened and drove some flattened boxes to the recycling center. I went to church.

To the church of God which is at Corinth, to those sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints together with all those who in every place call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, both their Lord and ours: 3 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 4 I give thanks to God always for you because of the grace of God which was given you in Christ Jesus, 5 that in every way you were enriched in him with all speech and all knowledge— 6 even as the testimony to Christ was confirmed among you— 7 so that you are not lacking in any spiritual gift, as you wait for the revealing of our Lord Jesus Christ; 8 who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. (I Corinthians 1:2-9)

The OM and I watched some movies–Tall in the Saddle (1944)–which has a witty script and lots of action, not to mention a very appealing John Wayne.

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We also watched Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (2019) directed by Quentin Tarantino. This movie is two hours and 40 minutes long and full of problems, but I have to say I enjoyed it. And it wasn’t all that violent, at least until the end.

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The director has indulged himself–he could have (and should have) tightened it up, but most of the PC criticisms are groundless. The New Yorker called it “obscenely regressive”–please, it takes place in 1969 in Hollywood, what do  you expect? As if looking back and portraying a moment in history as he saw it is obscene. I guess the obscene part is reveling in it, rather than condemning it, right? I’m not sure what Tarantino’s ultimate point was, but my takeaway is (spoiler alert), if the Manson crew had broken into the house next door to Sharon Tate’s and instead attacked a stuntman, a fading western actor, a pitt bull, and an Italian actress, the outcome would indeed have been different. If this is glorifying white men, so be it.

We also re-watched Ford vs. Ferrari (2019) because it is the OM’s new favorite movie. I enjoyed it too. Matt Damon and Christian Bale were definitely overlooked by the Academy, but Big Surprise.

The wee babes were both sick so they missed taco night on Sunday, but the boy came over and talked about movies and other grown up stuff, which was a treat for me.

By the way, do you know how Martin Luther King got his name? I didn’t either. (I just assumed his parents gave him the name as an infant.)

Perhaps you know the story: In 1934 the Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta sent its pastor Michael King, Sr. to attend a Baptist World Alliance Meeting in Berlin. The trip included a whirlwind visit to a number of other sites, but apparently the time in Germany (just as the National Socialists were starting their rise) had such an impact on Michael that he decided to rename himself and his 5-year-old son after the Great Reformer. Thus, father and son became Martin Luther King, Sr. and Jr.

That is cool and I thought this was interesting.

Today I am scheduled to have my last radiation treatment. So picture me ringing that bell for a second time. Praise Jesus.

11 Comments
January 17, 2020

“So lift your head and keep singing/ Praise the Lord”

by chuckofish

As of this morning, I only have two more radiation treatments! I should be finished next week on Tuesday. Praise the Lord. 🙏🙏🙏

Earlier in the week a friend from my former church gave me a prayer shawl which she had made. They have a Knitting Ministry at this church–their mission being “to offer fellow parishioners and friends tangible and spiritual love, comfort and prayers through the knitted objects that they make–Mantles of Comfort, Baby Blankets of Love and Chemo Caps.” I was touched to receive this mantle of comfort. I do feel “uplifted and affirmed.”

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Sunday is our mother’s birthday (along with Dolly Parton and Buffy the Vampire Slayer) so I thought I would feature this photo of her and my older brother from the Worcester Sunday Telegram in 1954.

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These days I am am looking a lot like my 3-year old brother here. At least my eyebrows and eyelashes have started to come back. Praise the Lord. 🙏🙏🙏

Thankfully the weekend is upon us. We are probably in for more bad weather, but in the words of the Puritan Anne Bradstreet, “If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.”

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I’m in.

*Mat Maher

3 Comments
January 14, 2020

“And then one day, I’ll cross the river”*

by chuckofish

It rained, it snowed, it sleeted (a little), so I stayed in most of the weekend. However, I did go to two funerals. The first was to the OM’s Aunt Freida’s at a big Assembly of God church. It was about as far from an Episcopal service as you can get, but it was very nice, and I got choked up several times, especially when singing the two hymns, “Because He Lives” and “It is Well with My Soul”. There were no congregational prayers and only one psalm (the 23rd) which the minister read. The sermon consisted of a lot of scripture passages (of which I approved) woven together and there were “reflections” by two elderly church lady friends who regaled us with stories of Freida. The congregation sat and watched, only rising to sing the two hymns. Lunch followed.

The second memorial service was for a dear friend who was a devout Christian Scientist. The service consisted of a hymn sung by the congregation, scripture passages and quotes by Mary Baker Eddy read by a daughter, a soloist singing “The Lord’s Prayer”, and his adult children singing the 23rd Psalm. At one point people were invited to say a few words about Art–a tribute–spontaneously. College friends from The Principia, students from the Sunday School class he taught for over 40 years, members of his church–even I felt moved to say something. I said that as the mother of an Eagle Scout I know that it is important for a Boy Scout to be cheerful and that Art was a good scout. He embodied the scripture, “This is the day which the Lord has made; let us be glad and rejoice in it.” Indeed, Art was one in a million. Starting off at IBM as a salesman, he had eventually started a fast food restaurant that became a national chain. He was a Boy Scout leader, a world traveler, a fisherman, a singer. He was a facilitator at our flyover institute for many years until his memory failed and he couldn’t do it anymore. He was a much loved man. I do not know much about Christian Scientists, but I was struck by the love that abounded in this assembly and in his family.

So two very different services for two saints.

Speaking of saints, the OM and I watched A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (2019). It is not a terrible movie, but it is not a good one.

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It is badly directed by Marielle Heller in an inappropriately solemn and reverential way. Mr. Rogers is treated as if he were some pocket saint…

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…and not the happy-go-lucky, slightly nerdly, but joyful guy he was.

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He may have been a saint, but the tone was all wrong. Tom Hanks obviously watched hours of videos, trying to get the mannerisms down and he does, but he has slowed everything down until he comes across like some saint savant. I thought he missed the mark. The fact that Fred Rogers was an ordained Presbyterian minister is never mentioned, but I will give the screenwriter credit for at least mentioning that he read scripture daily and prayed for people by name. They even show him kneeling at his bedside in prayer. But again, this is to demonstrate how different he was from everyone else, and how saintly. The real Mr. Rogers would have scoffed at this.

Furthermore, the movie moves at an excruciatingly slow pace and is never enlivened by any humor. Surely they could have included some funny moments. But scriptwriters and directors these days just do not know how to construct a film. This movie was a fail and it does not surprise me that it is a box office disappointment. [However, I will note that the OM enjoyed this movie and was obviously moved by the story of the journalist and his estranged father–until I ruined it for him by pointing out all the things that were wrong with the movie. So go figure.]

So my weekend was full of saints, but I missed the baptism of this little Episcopalian by the wee laddie’s godfather, because I went to the 8:00 a.m. service.

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Do you renounce Satan and all the spiritual forces
of wickedness that rebel against God, Riley Mae?

You can’t have it all.

* “Because He Lives” by Bill and Gloria Gaither

7 Comments
January 7, 2020

The thoughts you think

by chuckofish

This made me laugh…

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newyorksocialdiary@instagram.com

And I have to agree with this…

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vegaslady42@instagram.com

I am not on Facebook or Twitter, but I do have an Instagram account, so I know about wasting time. But as you can see, it is not all a waste of time.

Classes have started up again at my flyover institute. Busy, busy again. Thankfully I got all my Christmas decorations taken down and stored away over the weekend. The OM and the boy even took the extra leaf out of the dining room table and the wee laddie freaked out, screaming that they were breaking the table (“my table”). Who knew he felt so strongly about the table? Life can be very disturbing.

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The wee babes are back in school too. It’s good to get back to a normal routine.

And lest we forget:

“When bad news is riding high and despair in fashion, when loud mouths and corruption seem to own center stage, when some keep crying that the country is going to the dogs, remember it’s always been going to the dogs in the eyes of some, and that 90 percent, or more, of the people are good people, generous-hearted, law-abiding, good citizens who get to work on time, do a good job, love their country, pay their taxes, care about their neighbors, care about their children’s education, and believe, rightly, as you do, in the ideals upon which our way of life is founded.”

― David McCullough, The American Spirit: Who We Are and What We Stand For

Yes.

5 Comments