dual personalities

Category: inspiration

September 18, 2018

Under the surface

by chuckofish

“That’s the strangest thing about this life, about being in the ministry. People change the subject when they see you coming. And then sometimes those very same people come into your study and tell you the most remarkable things. There’s a lot under the surface of life, everyone knows that. A lot of malice and dread and guilt, and so much loneliness, where you wouldn’t really expect to find it, either.”

–Marilynne Robinson, Gilead

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Good luck and vaya con dios, Michael.

“Had he, during the course of his ministry, changed a single life? He recalled the words of a woman overheard when he was leaving his last parish. ‘Father Martin is a priest of whom no one ever speaks ill.’ It seemed to him now the most damning of indictments.”

–P.D. James, Death in Holy Orders

“Let the preacher tell the truth. Let him make audible the silence of the news of the world with the sound turned off so that in the silence we can hear the tragic truth of the Gospel, which is that the world where God is absent is a dark and echoing emptiness; and the comic truth of the Gospel, which is that it is into the depths of his absence that God makes himself present in such unlikely ways and to such unlikely people that old Sarah and Abraham and maybe when the time comes even Pilate and Job and Lear and Henry Ward Beecher and you and I laugh till the tears run down our cheeks. And finally let him preach this overwhelming of tragedy by comedy, of darkness by light, of the ordinary by the extraordinary, as the tale that is too good not to be true because to dismiss it as untrue is to dismiss along with it that catch of the breath, that beat and lifting of the heart near to or even accompanied by tears, which I believe is the deepest intuition of truth that we have.”

― Frederick Buechner, Telling the Truth: The Gospel as Tragedy, Comedy and Fairy Tale 

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September 13, 2018

Look up child

by chuckofish

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“After the day is gone we shall go out, breathe deeply, and look up – and there the stars will be, unchanged, unchangeable.”
― H. A. Rey, “The Stars”

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September 12, 2018

Even our tears belong to ritual

by chuckofish

The First Day of School

I

My child and I hold hands on the way to school,
And when I leave him at the first-grade door
He cries a little but is brave; he does
Let go. My selfish tears remind me how
I cried before that door a life ago.
I may have had a hard time letting go.

Each fall the children must endure together
What every child also endures alone:
Learning the alphabet, the integers,
Three dozen bits and pieces of a stuff
So arbitrary, so peremptory,
That worlds invisible and visible

Bow down before it, as in Joseph’s dream
The sheaves bowed down and then the stars bowed down
Before the dreaming of a little boy.
That dream got him such hatred of his brothers
As cost the greater part of life to mend,
And yet great kindness came of it in the end.

II

A school is where they grind the grain of thought,
And grind the children who must mind the thought.
It may be those two grindings are but one,
As from the alphabet come Shakespeare’s Plays,
As from the integers comes Euler’s Law,
As from the whole, inseperably, the lives,

The shrunken lives that have not been set free
By law or by poetic phantasy.
But may they be. My child has disappeared
Behind the schoolroom door. And should I live
To see his coming forth, a life away,
I know my hope, but do not know its form

Nor hope to know it. May the fathers he finds
Among his teachers have a care of him
More than his father could. How that will look
I do not know, I do not need to know.
Even our tears belong to ritual.
But may great kindness come of it in the end.

–Howard Nemerov

Boy, do I remember sending my children off to school back in the day.

You are so careful with your children and then one day you just say goodbye and they go off to school. You can’t protect them anymore, once they’re out of your house, not from mean kids and not from overzealous teachers with opinions. They are on their own.

When they were in elementary school, my kids walked to school and I would see them off at the back door with their backpacks and their lunches. Put on the full armour of God, I would pray.

…Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. (Ephesians 6: 14–18)

Sometimes I would say outloud, “Remember! You can go over the top for Jesus!”–which I had read was the last thing Tony Campolo’s mother would say to him as a child leaving the house on the way to school. We would chuckle about this, but I believed that sending them out on a positive note was important. And I never stopped praying for them.

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September 10, 2018

“For waters shall break forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert…”*

by chuckofish

It rained most of the weekend and I stayed in and recuperated from a hectic week and the flu. Indeed, I have no pictures of semi-exciting adventures and/or adorable wee babes since they stayed home and did the same. Instead I  read the new Longmire book which arrived in the mail on Friday.IMG_3423.JPG

It did not disappoint.

I did get out of the house long enough to go to church on Sunday and it was nice to get back into the old routine. The OM and I went to Steak ‘N Shake for lunch afterwards. I picked up the house and did laundry. Since the temperature had fallen into the 70s I tried to do some yard work, but after 15 minutes I had strained my back, so I quit and retreated to Longmire.

We watched a good movie, which I found scrounging around on Amazon Prime, called Marilyn Hotchkiss’ Ballroom Dancing & Charm School (2005). Directed by Randall Miller, it stars Robert Carlyle and John Goodman and features a host of semi-has-been actors like Melissa Tomei, Mary Steenburgen, Sean Astin, Sonia Braga, Donnie Wahlberg, Ernie Hudson, etc., who were all excellent.

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I really liked it!

“Dance is a very powerful drug, if embraced judiciously; to reap its rewards, one must shoulder its challenges with intrepid countenance.” Frank Keene, a grieving baker in a near catatonic state, happens on a car accident. The loquacious and insightful victim, Steve Mills, is on his way to an appointment in Pasadena with a years-ago acquaintance; he asks Frank to go in his place. It’s a dance class. Frank goes, to find Steve’s friend. The story moves back and forth [between] Steve’s childhood, the scene of the accident, and the aftermath of Frank’s first Lindy hop. (IMDB)

It is rare these days to see a movie devoid of vulgarity, violence and political statements. It is just a good, uplifting story about real people. Give it a try–you’ll be glad you did!

*Isaiah 35:6

 

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September 5, 2018

Protected, directed, corrected

by chuckofish

Thank you, Denzel Washington! Well said.

Watch the whole thing, but try not to be distracted by the woman to the left of Denzel, who is looking at her phone throughout his speech. Can you imagine not paying attention to Denzel Washington giving the commencement address? I mean really.

Denzel made this speech at Dillard University, a private, historically black, liberal arts college in New Orleans, Louisiana in 2015.

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August 31, 2018

“Don’t point that finger at me unless you intend to use it.”*

by chuckofish

Woohoo, three-day weekend coming up!

I have no Big Plans but daughter #1 will be driving in from mid-MO.

We’ll barbecue, because…

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Maybe we’ll have a dance party…hopefully with the wee babes!

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No doubt we’ll watch a movie…

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Maybe we should watch a Neil Simon movie and toast him since he died this week at 91. The Odd Couple (1968) is always a solid choice and funnier than you remember.

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I can’t take it anymore, Felix, I’m cracking up. Everything you do irritates me. And when you’re not here, the things I know you’re gonna do when you come in irritate me. You leave me little notes on my pillow. Told you 158 times I can’t stand little notes on my pillow. “We’re all out of cornflakes. F.U.” Took me three hours to figure out F.U. was Felix Ungar!

Murder By Death (1976) is also quite funny–a satire of all those Agatha Christie-type mysteries featuring all the famous detectives you can think of. As I recall, David Niven and Maggie Smith steal the show as “Dick and Dora Charleston”.

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We can all relate to Truman Capote’s character, Lionel Twain, when he says:

You’ve tricked and fooled your readers for years. You’ve tortured us all with surprise endings that made no sense. You’ve introduced characters in the last five pages that were never in the book before. You’ve withheld clues and information that made it impossible for us to guess who did it. But now, the tables are turned. Millions of angry mystery readers are now getting their revenge. When the world learns I’ve outsmarted you, they’ll be selling your $1.95 books for twelve cents.

[Here’s an interesting article about Neil Simon and his influence on American society.]

Well, whatever you choose to do this long weekend, I hope you have a good one! Take a real break from your work and remember:

When we start being too impressed by the results of our work, we slowly come to the erroneous conviction that life is one large scoreboard where someone is listing the points to measure our worth. And before we are fully aware of it, we have sold our soul to the many grade-givers. That means we are not only in the world, but also of the world. Then we become what the world makes us. We are intelligent because someone gives us a high grade. We are helpful because someone says thanks. We are likable because someone likes us. And we are important because someone considers us indispensable. In short, we are worthwhile because we have successes. And the more we allow our accomplishments — the results of our actions — to become the criteria of our self-esteem, the more we are going to walk on our mental and spiritual toes, never sure if we will be able to live up to the expectations which we created by our last successes. In many people’s lives, there is a nearly diabolic chain in which their anxieties grow according to their successes. This dark power has driven many of the greatest artists into self-destruction.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen, Out of Solitude: Three Meditations on the Christian Life

*Oscar Madison in The Odd Couple

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August 30, 2018

The camp-fires of the past

by chuckofish

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A soft veil dims the tender skies,
And half conceals from pensive eyes
The bronzing tokens of the fall;
A calmness broods upon the hills,
And summer’s parting dream distills
A charm of silence over all.The stacks of corn, in brown array,
Stand waiting through the placid day,
Like tattered wigwams on the plain;
The tribes that find a shelter there
Are phantom peoples, forms of air,
And ghosts of vanished joy and pain.

At evening when the crimson crest
Of sunset passes down the West,
I hear the whispering host returning;
On far-off fields, by elm and oak,
I see the lights, I smell the smoke,–
The Camp-fires of the Past are burning.

–“Indian Summer” by Henry Van Dyke

The painting is “Summer in the Blue Ridge” by Hugh Bolton Jones. Hugh Bolton Jones (1848-1927) was an American landscape painter. He grew up in Baltimore, Maryland, where he received his early training as an artist. While studying in New York he was strongly influenced by Frederic Edwin Church of the Hudson River School.

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August 29, 2018

How I spent my summer

by chuckofish

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Can it be true? Are we really in the last week of August, the home stretch of summer? Say it ain’t so! Well, I can really relate to Sally, can’t you?

I read some good books (but no Tolstoy) and, although I watched no game shows, I watched a lot of old movies.

PpT1TDw.gifI went to quite a few estate sales.

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We finished our kitchen “update,” but did not make much progress in our basement clean-up. (This project moves to the fall list.)

We went to one baseball game.

We barbecued quite a few times and watched the wee babes get bigger.

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We enjoyed visits from two nephews, one niece, one BFF, two darling daughters, and DN.

I voted in the primary.

I took 5 days of vacation and got out of town, but the rest of the time, I was working! Contrary to popular belief, we do not slow down in the summer.

Pretty lame maybe, but pretty great too, if you ask me.

Therefore, my brothers and sisters, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, my beloved. (Philippians 4:1)

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August 22, 2018

Men and angels sing

by chuckofish

Today is the 170th wedding anniversary of Julia Dent and Ulysses Grant, who were married on a hot evening in her father’s townhouse at Fourth and Cerre streets in St. Louis in 1848. Anticipating the extreme heat, Julia had planned to wear a simple, cool muslin gown for the ceremony, but Mrs. John J. O’Fallon, a family friend, brought her a watered-silk gown with a tulle veil. Another friend, Mrs. Henry Shurlds, provided fresh jessamine blossoms. [No photo available, darn it.]

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Since Col. Frederick Dent’s house was relatively small, the guest list was held to the Dents’ oldest and closest St. Louis friends. Julia’s attendants were her sister Nellie, her cousin Julia Boggs, and Sarah Walker. Among Grant’s groomsmen were Lt. Cadmus Wilcox and Bernard Pratte III, both of whom were later to surrender to Gen. U.S. Grant at Appomattox.

Here are some pictures of the Dent home as it aged through the years…

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Sigh. Well, the least we can do is toast old Julia and Lyss on their anniversary. They were, by all accounts, a happy couple, deeply committed to each other and their family.

Side note from the Small World Department: one of my DP’s best friends growing up was a descendant of the aforementioned O’Fallons. According to Wikipedia, John J. O’Fallon (1791 – December 17, 1865) was a businessman, philanthropist, and military officer. During the 19th century he rose to become the wealthiest person in St. Louis. He is the namesake of O’Fallon, Illinois (incorporated in 1874) as well as O’Fallon, Missouri, and the nephew of William Clark (of Lewis and Clark). O’Fallon and Frederick Dent were both founders of the Episcopal Church in St. Louis. Nice to know that there are still O’Fallons in town.

Speaking of childhood friends, yesterday I went to the funeral of the mother of one of mine. She was 98, so it was sparsely attended, but there was a dedicated phalanx of very old, very thin, very erect, well-coiffed women in St. John suits. I felt underdressed and under-coiffed in my work attire, but c’est la vie. The service, held at the church I attended as a child, was the Episcopal short-version, Beverly having stipulated that her service run no longer than 25 minutes. Indeed, Beverly was still Beverly up until the end: the minister said that in the emergency room the night before she died, Beverly had taken umbrage with the nurses for messing up her hair. I had to chuckle picturing that. By the way, this is the lady who was the originator of the “Smell the pine in your nostrils” trope, so beloved in my family.

Well, I tried my best to speak the prayers loudly and sing audibly, since hardly anyone else was able to, but the singing was a challenge. By the fifth verse of Onward Christian Soldiers, I was very ready to throw in the towel. I was glad I went, however, as it was a pleasure to sit in this light-filled sanctuary and remember back to my youth when I giggled my way through Sunday School with this particular friend.

Into your hands, O merciful Savior, we commend your servant Beverly. Acknowledge, we humbly beseech you, a sheep of your own fold, a lamb of your own flock, a sinner of your own redeeming. Receive her into the arms of your mercy, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the glorious company of the saints of light.

I heard this old song on the radio going to work the other day and thought I’d share it.

(BTW, that is not DN playing the drums, although I did do a double-take when I was watching this video.)

(Information regarding Julia Dent’s wedding from Frances Hurd Stadler, St. Louis Day By Day)

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August 16, 2018

Blow ye winds heigh ho

by chuckofish

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Boy, did I have a day yesterday. Our online registration system crashed! On the first day of fall registration!  Not good.

Technology. Zut alors!

On the flip side of the day, daughter #2 passed her oral defense of her dissertation with flying colors and we are very proud of her!

IMG_1331.JPGWe always knew she was a smart cookie, but now it’s official. Champagne corks were popping in Maryland and will pop again next week when she and DN visit us in our flyover town.

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Until then, after I’ve toasted daughter #2 a few more times,

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it’s back to the salt mine, hoping that the tech guys fixed everything overnight…

Oh, and here’s a good true story about Eddie Rickenbacker.

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