dual personalities

Category: gratitude

“I simply gotta march/ My heart’s a drummer”*

by chuckofish

We had a beautiful day for our local Greentree Parade on Saturday.

IMG_4025.JPG

Vrooom, vrooom!

The wee laddie got quite a kick out of all the army trucks and tractors etc…

IMG_1052.jpegIMG_4028.JPGIMG_4033.JPGIMG_4036.JPG

And Lottiebelle made the round of laps…IMG_1044.jpegIMG_3225.JPGIMG_4041.JPG

After the parade we went home for Episcopal soufflé and Prosecco. Daughter #1 didn’t want birthday cake so we had donuts…IMG_3241 2.JPGThe wee laddie approved.

IMG_2169.jpeg

Daughter #1 liked her presents especially this one…

59017712068__D087EFD0-7A50-411E-8C1A-7969D73F5820.JPGIt was a fun day and a fun weekend and on Sunday I even managed to go to a couple of estate sales with daughter #1. I rescued a needlepoint  pillow!

IMG_4047.JPG

The good news for today is that the 15th Walt Longmire novel is being released and I should get it in the mail today!

Screen Shot 2019-09-16 at 4.05.56 PM.png

Whoopi-ti-yay!

See you on the trail.

*Bob Merrill/Jule Styne

Trust thyself.

by chuckofish

Daughter #1 here. It’s my birthday today! I’m old. And I’m going to let someone else devote a blog post to me/my birthday.

This weekend, I drove up to Columbia to hit some estate sales–and I hit the jackpot. An old professor’s house where the books were 50¢ and plentiful. I had to restrain myself because, as it is, I have eight boxes of books and dvds that have no home. I still walked away with a stack.

IMG_3164

I figure, I need to get these before they all get rewritten.

I also got this Wedgewood Elizabeth II Coronation commemorative ashtray which I couldn’t resist because it just cracked me up. I just love that it’s an ashtray, so passé.

IMG_3206

After perusing my purchases on Sunday evening, with Hallmark Movies & Mysteries on in the background, I was inspired to read Emerson’s Self-Reliance. It’ll cure what ails ya.

“Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life’s cultivation; but of the adoptive talent of another you have only an extemporaneous half possession.”

“It is easy to live in the world after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.”

“The secret of fortune is joy in our hands.”

I could really just copy and paste the whole thing here. It was just what I needed for Sunday night. And for this birthday week when, as usual, I have no plans and, not only do I have a busy and stressful day at work, I’m sure they won’t remember it is my birthday. That’s okay–I’ve got plans for the weekend and I can make my own joy.

I do think focusing on joy in the small things is something we can all work on. Life is hard, but it’s a gift, and even though it might not always feel like it, we are extremely lucky to be where we are. And that’s where I am as I head into a new year!

A broken record

by chuckofish

I know I sound like a broken record, but it has been a hard week and I am glad it is Friday again!

If you are looking for something to celebrate this weekend, Sunday is the 53rd anniversary of the television debut of Star Trek in 1966. In “The Man Trap” episode, the crew visit an outpost to conduct medical exams on the residents, only to be attacked by a shapeshifting alien creature seeking to extract salt from their bodies.

Screen Shot 2019-09-05 at 8.29.36 PM.png

Well, I’m always ready to toast these guys.

“The Man Trap” placed first in its timeslot, with Nielsen ratings of 25.2 during the first half-hour; some 46.7 percent of all televisions in use at the time were tuned in to the episode. I was in the fifth grade and I remember watching with my older brother who was in the 10th grade. I’m sure we thought it was pretty hokey (because it was), but we kept tuning in, didn’t we?

Please note that there is a big celebration planned for Dolly Parton’s 50th Anniversary of being an Opry Member. There’s going to be a week-long celebration of Dolly’s “impact on music and the Opry,” all leading up to her 50th anniversary performance on the Opry stage on Saturday, October 12, 2019. Unfortunately, I will have to pass on this, but it sounds like a real good time to me!

I have been readings essays by E.B. White this week and he was a big one for noticing the little things…the changing of seasons and the goings on of the flora and fauna around him. It is a good reminder of the old lesson to pay attention. Summer is coming to an end here in flyover country, although the temperatures are still pretty balmy. It’s getting dark earlier, but still the cacophony of lawnmowers and weed-whackers fills the air on a constant basis. Whenever I lay my head down for one of my frequent naps, the sound of a lawnmower revving up is sure to follow. It never fails.

Have a good weekend! Celebrate something!

Par for the course

by chuckofish

As predicted, I had a very quiet long weekend. Daughter #1 got a lot done while she was here, but I spent the weekend reading and napping. No matter how much I nap, though, I never feel less fatigued. This is problematic and annoying, but par for the chemo course.

I re-read Rest and Be Thankful by Helen MacInnes, published in 1949, a novel which I found not to be dated, still relevant and very enjoyable. I started Wildfire at Midnight by Mary Stewart (1956). We watched Hatari (1962) on two nights so we could maintain our 8:30 bedtime.

Screen Shot 2019-09-02 at 11.44.51 AM.png

You gotta love those baby elephants!

On Sunday night the boy brought the wee laddie over for a Labor Day barbecue. (Little Lottie was under the weather and stayed home with her mother.)

IMG_3114.JPG

IMG_3116.JPG

Best Book Ever

It is always fun/interesting to see one twin without the other. The wee laddie was well behaved and mellow, but we did have to have a lesson in not playing “catch” with the tator tots at the dinner table.

IMG_1791.jpeg

Daughter #1 headed back to Mid-MO on Monday morning and I continued with my reading/napping routine.

Can’t quite believe it’s September. I have a very busy week at work–here’s hoping I can get through it without too much ado. How is your week shaping up?

So brave a palace

by chuckofish

IMG_1149.jpeg

Well, the wee babes went back to school this week. They were pretty excited about it.

As you can see, Lottiebelle is already co-leading the class…

IMG_1190.JPG

Tomorrow the OM and I are heading down to Jefferson City to hang out at daughter #1’s new apartment. (Check out the new video on the JC Visitor’s Bureau webpage–JC is a happening place.) I’m sure we won’t be much actual help unpacking stuff etc, but we can lend moral support and give advice.

Screen Shot 2019-08-15 at 5.03.26 PM.png

Yeah, that lamp looks swell over there….

I am looking forward to a change of scenery!

Today I start a new, once-a-week chemo routine and I am hoping it is a bit easier than the last rotation. On verra bien.

For us the winds do blow,
The earth doth rest, heaven move, and fountains flow.
     Nothing we see but means our good,
     As our delight or as our treasure:
The whole is either our cupboard of food,
          Or cabinet of pleasure.

          The stars have us to bed;
Night draws the curtain, which the sun withdraws;
     Music and light attend our head.
     All things unto our flesh are kind
In their descent and being; to our mind
          In their ascent and cause.

          Each thing is full of duty:
Waters united are our navigation;
     Distinguishèd, our habitation;
     Below, our drink; above, our meat;
Both are our cleanliness.
  Hath one such beauty?
          Then how are all things neat?

          More servants wait on Man
Than he'll take notice of:  in every path
     He treads down that which doth befriend him
     When sickness makes him pale and wan.
O mighty love!  Man is one world, and hath
          Another to attend him.

          Since then, my God, thou hast
So brave a palace built, O dwell in it
     That it may dwell with thee at last!
     Till then, afford us so much wit,
That, as the world serves us, we may serve thee,
          And both thy servants be.
--George Herbert, from "Man"

Small things

by chuckofish

IMG_1109.jpeg

I did not get to see the wee babes this weekend, but I did see pictures of their visit to the National Museum of Transportation where they seemed to have had a super fun time. This museum has come a long way since we used to visit it as children. They even have a little train you can ride on, like at the zoo.

IMG_1084.jpeg

I hope they saw the…

Screen Shot 2019-08-12 at 9.01.03 PM.png

…I can only imagine that the wee laddie would lose his mind over this treasure!

Meanwhile the OM and I had a quiet weekend at home. We only ventured out to take a drive through Lone Elk Park where we saw a raccoon family, a couple of wild turkeys and some buffalo taking a siesta. It was pretty chill there.

“Again I resume the long
lesson: how small a thing
can be pleasing, how little
in this hard world it takes
to satisfy the mind
and bring it to its rest.”
― Wendell Berry, Sabbaths 

It is Tuesday now. Put down your phone and look up. Enjoy the small things. None of them are on a computer screen.

Party postcards

by chuckofish

IMG_4713.JPG

Our mother was a great believer in having parties–small parties with family and a few friends maybe–but parties nonetheless. When we were little, there were usually favors. I tried to continue this tradition with my own family. It encourages celebrating the little things as well as the big things in life and helps everyone keep a positive outlook.

Screen Shot 2019-08-05 at 1.25.04 PM.png

So when Herman Melville’s 200 birthday was coming up, it just seemed liked a great excuse to have a party. We gave everyone plenty of notice to start reading Moby-Dick (or, okay, something shorter) and we started planning.

IMG_1003.jpeg

We didn’t let a cancer diagnosis stop us. Daughters #1 and 2 took the reins, and by the time last weekend rolled around they had things well in hand. When DN arrived on Friday we were cooking with gas. Everything fell into place, although the caterers were late, but DN dealt with that, and when guests starting arriving, the Typee Punch was ready to go…

IMG_1001.jpeg

We toasted the great Melville and then ate dinner.

IMG_4754.JPG

IMG_4749.JPG

IMG_4717.JPG

We gathered again to listen to the great Gary play hornpipes on his mandolin…IMG_0996.jpeg

And then almost everybody read their own Melville selection, which represented a variety from Billy Budd and Bartleby to The Confidence Man and, of course, Moby-Dick. No one had chosen the same thing to read. DN read from a Melville essay about Hawthorne which included the often quoted “It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation” in context which I loved.

IMG_4758.JPG

IMG_4762.JPG

Our favorite Method Actor channels Stubb killing a whale

I think everyone had fun and I was flattered that my friends had humored me in my whimsy. And a few people went outside their comfort zones and read some Melville!

IMG_1004.jpeg

Huzzah. It takes very little, to have a lot of fun.

So keep reading…and keep celebrating!

IMG_4766.JPG

IMG_4764.JPG

And there were favors!

IMG_4008.JPG

IMG_4746.JPG

Nobody had more class than Melville. To do what he did in Moby-Dick, to tell a story and to risk putting so much material into it. If you could weigh a book, I don’t know any book that would be more full. It’s more full than War and Peace or Brothers Karamasov. It has Saint Elmo’s fire, and great whales, and grand arguments between heroes, and secret passions. It risks wandering far, far out into the globe. Melville took on the whole world, saw it all in a vision, and risked everything in prose that sings.  You have a sense from the very beginning that Melville had a vision in his mind of what this book was going to look like, and he trusted himself to follow through all the way. (–Ken Kesey, interviewed in “Ken Kesey, The Art of Fiction No. 136” by Robert Faggen in The Paris Review No. 130 (Spring 1994)

“What ho, Tashtego!”

by chuckofish

Screen Shot 2018-08-24 at 6.29.52 AM.png

Where did the week go? Daughter #2 and I went to work every day and got things done until about 1:00 and then went home and collapsed. This is my new normal. She made tasty dinners hoping I would eat them and I mostly did. We watched Lonesome Dove and Love With the Proper Stranger (1963).

Screen Shot 2019-07-31 at 9.38.23 PM.png

This movie was better than I remembered!

But we didn’t get much else done and that’s okay. DN arrives today while we are at chemo…

Screen Shot 2019-08-01 at 10.07.50 PM.png…and we will put him to work, busting up chifforobes etc. Daughter #1 rolls into town later this afternoon, and then we will all go into Melville party mode for the big day tomorrow.

Have a great weekend! Don’t forget to toast Herman Melville at least once!

PSA: Just a reminder that August is the month for TCM Summer Under the Stars, wherein each day of the month is devoted to a full 24 hours of films featuring a single outstanding actor or actress. Returning favorites include June Allyson, Fred Astaire, Humphrey Bogart, Marlon Brando, Kirk Douglas, Irene Dunne, Errol Flynn, Henry Fonda, Ava Gardner, Susan Hayward, Audrey Hepburn, Shirley MacLaine, Red Skelton, Ann Sothern and James Stewart.

Check out the full schedule here and start setting your DVR.

And please say a little prayer for the wee laddie who is having another corrective surgery on his eye this morning. 🙏🙏🙏

IMG_9165.jpeg

 

 

Let it rain, rain down on me*

by chuckofish

IMG-2578.JPG

I thought I was taller than you…

Well, your dual personalities had a lot of fun hanging out, not doing much, but just being together. And that’s what it’s all about, right?

My sister got to hang out with the wee babes, who are admittedly more fun than a barrel of monkeys…

IMG_0808.jpeg

Lottie go to the beach?

IMG_0813.jpeg

Come in the water, Wheeler! It feels great!

…and she went estate sale-ing with daughter #1 and to lunch at the Women’s Exchange, but the rest of the time, we were pretty mellow. And now I miss her. Sigh.

But things are bubbling over at work and daughter #2 arrives on Thursday, so dull  moments do not accrue.

“No stars gleam as brightly as those which glisten in the polar sky. No water tastes so sweet as that which springs amid the desert sand. And no faith is so precious as that which lives and triumphs through adversity. Tested faith brings experience. You would never have believed your own weakness had you not needed to pass through trials. And you would never have known God’s strength had His strength not been needed to carry you through.”
― Charles H. Spurgeon

Have a good Tuesday!

*Crowder

Hanging out

by chuckofish

IMG_0763.jpeg

Which DP is that? It must be “Great-Aunt Sarah”!

Well, the dual personalities have been hanging out and gabbing away for several days now…

IMG_0761.jpeg

…talking over the events and people of our shared lives. We haven’t dined out or visited any points of interest or gone shopping or anything.

IMG_0719.JPEG

And now, on to another round of chemo.

The question is not whether the things that happen to you are chance things or God’s things because, of course, they are both at once. There is no chance thing through which God cannot speak — even the walk from the house to the garage that you have walked ten thousand times before, even the moments when you cannot believe there is a God who speaks at all anywhere. He speaks, I believe, and the words he speaks are incarnate in the flesh and blood of our selves and of our own footsore and sacred journeys. We cannot live our lives constantly looking back, listening back, lest we be turned to pillars of longing and regret, but to live without listening at all is to live deaf to the fullness of the music. Sometimes we avoid listening for fear of what we may hear, sometimes for fear that we may hear nothing at all but the empty rattle of our own feet on the pavement. But be not affeard, says Caliban, nor is he the only one to say it. “Be not afraid,” says another, “for lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.” He says he is with us on our journeys. He says he has been with us since each of our journeys began. Listen for him. Listen to the sweet and bitter airs of your present and your past for the sound of him.

–Frederick Buechner, from The Sacred Journey