dual personalities

Category: family

June 29, 2015

Postcards from Gasparilla

by chuckofish

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From our first night to our last,

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we had the best time!

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Our week in Boca Grande was filled with good food (thank you, daughter #2)

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good drink (thank you, daughter #1)

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and ice cream,

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hair braiding,

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beach time,

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and pool time,

IMGP1286and lots of gab, gab, gabbing.

We pretty much did everything we did on our previous visit, but with just the three of us girls, we simplified the formula to basically: floating in the pool, walking on the  beach, eating, drinking, and watching movies/Freaks and Geeks and various other Netflix offerings. Although daughter #2 did some online grading, I never looked at a computer or even my iphone. It was great.

On Saturday we headed to the airport, bid adieu to each other and flew off to our separate homes in three states.

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Sigh.

7 Comments
June 8, 2015

The small joys

by chuckofish

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“…Hilary enjoyed himself, just as he had enjoyed himself drinking the port. Increasingly, as he got older, he enjoyed things. As his personal humility deepened, so did his awareness of the amazing bounty of God…so many things…The mellow warmth of the port, the pleasure of the game, the sight of Lucilla’s lovely old face in the firelight, and David’s fine hands holding the cards, his awareness of Margaret’s endearing simplicity, and the contentment of the two old dogs dozing on the hearth…One by one the small joys fell. Only to Hilary no joy was small; each had its own mystery, aflame with the glory of God.”

—Pilgrim’s Inn

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This weekend I finished re-reading Pilgrim’s Inn by Elizabeth Goudge, an old favorite written in 1948 about an English family after the war. It seems a bit dated now, but I found it quite satisfying and I recommend it. The fact that it and her other novels are still in print tells you something.

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The boy and daughter #3 came over for dinner on Sunday night after returning from a week in South Carolina and we heard all about their adventures.

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Summer has arrived here in flyover country–we topped 90 degrees on Sunday. But spring was long and lovely and the heat and humidity are inevitable. Why complain?

Here are some fun videos (and here) from the Total Lacrosse YouTube channel featuring the boy testing and touting Warrior equipment.

You going to the gun show?

You going to the gun show?

Have a great Monday!

5 Comments
May 26, 2015

Long weekend: and then we were all in one place*

by chuckofish

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Long weekends are the best, right? Especially if you have out-of-town guests.

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My nephew Chris and his friend Nicole stopped overnight on their cross-country trip from upstate New York to the Ghost Ranch in New Mexico.

The boy and daughter #3 came over for dinner and a movie,

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but I forgot to take a picture. It was fun, as you can imagine.

The weather, despite dire predictions to the contrary, was lovely and I spent a lot of time puttering around the yard and lounging in the Florida room with a good book.

In other news, let’s not forget that today is John Wayne’s birthday–so “slap some bacon on a biscuit and let’s go! We’re burning daylight!”

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Happy Tuesday and a 4-day week!

*”And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place.” (Acts 2:1 KJV)

4 Comments
May 19, 2015

“The little toy dog is covered with dust, But sturdy and staunch he stands”*

by chuckofish

Did you hear about this?

According to the New York Times, F. A. O. Schwarz, the legendary toy store on Fifth Avenue, will close its doors July 15, “a victim of rising rents and ultraluxury retailing in New York City’s hottest shopping district.”

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The store has been a fixture in New York for 145 years! “In 1870, Frederick August Otto Schwarz opened a toy store, Schwarz Brothers — Importers, at 765 Broadway. In 1876 he opened a second shop farther uptown. The two stores combined in a move to Union Square, and the store was renamed F. A. O. Schwarz. The store moved a number of times, and to its current location in 1986.” (NYT)

Our father was a big fan of F.A.O. Schwarz and I grew up knowing it was the toy mecca of the U.S.A. When I finally visited the store in my college years I wasn’t that impressed, but whatever. Newell was a toy person and loved Steiff animals.  For years I slept with a Steiff tiger which my father bought for me when I was born. (I have no doubt that my mother rolled her eyes, knowing he had spent way more than she knew was practical.)  “Tiggy” was retired when I was about 12 because he was becoming quite worn, but he always adorned my pillow.

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I’m sure it is from our father that we three children inherited our attachment to toys–and stuffed animals in particular–that has plagued us our whole lives. At any rate, I find it very difficult to part with them. I will leave it to my children to figure out what to do with them.

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Ah, the proverbial tip of the iceberg (which is housed in our basement). Oh good lord.

This is how my mind works.

*Little Boy Blue by Eugene Field

6 Comments
May 11, 2015

“As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love.”*

by chuckofish

On Mother’s Day I went to church by myself per usual. Afterwards I stopped by Dunkin’ Donuts for a Mother’s Day treat which I shared with the OM.

donutsI picked some peonies from the garden.

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I enjoyed opening the cards and treats which my daughters sent.

On Friday I had gone to the Art Museum and picked up some tickets for the Bingham show which closes next weekend, so I dragged the OM along on Sunday afternoon.

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George Caleb Bingham, American, 1811–1879 The Jolly Flatboatmen (1), 1846 oil on canvas Manoogian Collection, on loan to National Gallery of Art

Good times on the old Missouri River.

I had reminded the boy that Sunday was Mother’s Day and it might be nice if he had his mother over for dinner. So we went to his house for dinner with lovely daughter #3.

I was home in time for the finale of Wolf Hall.

The lesson of this tale is that sometimes you have to do things alone or for yourself. And sometimes you just have to get the ball rolling. The trick is not minding and being grateful that you can. I had a lovely day.

And I thought this Oscar compilation was great.

*John 15:9

4 Comments
May 8, 2015

Windows open

by chuckofish

May is white clouds behind pine trees

Puffed out and marching upon a blue sky.

May is green as no other,

May is much sun through small leaves,

May is soft earth,

And appleblossoms,

and windows open to a south wind.

–Amy Lowell

I found this poem torn out of a magazine and stuck in my mother’s notebook about gardens where she had painstakingly copied out poems about gardens and bible quotations and other quotes.

Also stuck in it was this photo:

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You can click on it to enlarge the picture.

Her mother and grandfather are on the right. They are visiting their relatives (the Wheeler-Rand-Smiths) who owned the farm. My mother is the little dark-haired girl with the baby carriage and her older sister Susanne is to the right. I don’t know whose baby my grandmother is holding, because her youngest daughter was born in 1933 and this must be 1928-29, judging from my mother’s age (3?). The other women and the blonde children are members of the family (the Frohawks) who lived on the farm and farmed it.

My mother spent her summers on this farm in North Charlestown, N.H. and, boy, did she love it and the Frohawks. At that time, the farm had been in her family for 150 years. We heard about it all the time growing up. I would have liked to spend my summers there, but it had been sold after the war and was gone with the wind.

Sigh.

Anyway, also tucked into the notebook was this cartoon, which I am sure I had sent her.

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It is still my mantra. So have a pious, thrifty, hardworking day…and weekend!

4 Comments
April 24, 2015

Kickin’ up dust

by chuckofish

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“I have come to believe that by and large the human family all has the same secrets, which are both very telling and very important to tell. They are telling in the sense that they tell what is perhaps the central paradox of our condition—that what we hunger for perhaps more than anything else is to be known in our full humanness, and yet that is often just what we also fear more than anything else. It is important to tell at least from time to time the secret of who we truly and fully are—even if we tell it only to ourselves—because otherwise we run the risk of losing track of who we truly and fully are and little by little come to accept instead the highly edited version which we put forth in hope that the world will find it more acceptable than the real thing. It is important to tell our secrets too because it makes it easier that way to see where we have been in our lives and where we are going. It also makes it easier for other people to tell us a secret or two of their own, and exchanges like that have a lot to do with what being a family is all about and what being human is all about.”

–Frederick Buechner, Telling Secrets

Have a good weekend. Try to find some time to be quiet and think. Turn off the computer. Take a break from social media.

Read some Buechner. Read this.

Watch A Thousand Clowns (1965): Remind yourself why you were “born a human being and not a chair.”

I plan to read some more old letters which I have unearthed in my ongoing basement reorganization/clean-up. Here’s a tidbit from a letter my mother wrote in 1979 when I was in graduate school and my dual personality was at Smith:

It’s around 5 o’clock and I wish you were here to share some sherry and nibblies with me and have a good chat. It’s times like this when I miss you the  most. I haven’t had any sherry since you left–it’s the sort of thing I have to have with someone in order to enjoy it.

Some things never change! (Although I have no problem drinking by myself!) Ah, a toast to mothers everywhere who miss their daughters!

4 Comments
April 21, 2015

“I don’t feel very different, she said”*

by chuckofish

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I had a nice birthday. At my age, I do not need (or expect) much. A nice sign:

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a cake:

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…dinner cooked by someone else, a few thoughtful gifts, and I am more than happy.

I had a new movie to watch and a new book to read–what more could I want? World peace?

I had a pleasant and quiet weekend too, although I did get a little bummed out when I went to an estate sale and discovered it was indeed the home of a friend who died last year. Her husband must be down-sizing, and I get that, but, really, couldn’t her married sons have stored her stuff? Did they have to sell it all? Her monogrammed towels? Her sewing projects? Her teacups and golf trophies? All those Christmas decorations? It was depressing and it put me in a bad mood.

I went to church, because I was reading the second lesson (“Little children, let no one deceive you. Everyone who does what is right is righteous, just as he is righteous….”). I had signed up to give the altar flowers that day, so I was pleased to see this in the bulletin:

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I like to see my parents (and friend Irene) remembered a couple of times a year. The flowers were pretty too.

Sunday was a rainy day, so I changed my after-church plans and headed back home to my basement clean-up. I found another box of stuff from days gone by–college notebooks and letters from the year I was a house counselor at a boarding school in Virginia. These were letters I wrote to my fiancé back in flyover country, and I must say, they were pretty hilarious. I had forgotten so much about that year. Which makes me think (again) how much will be forgotten because no one writes letters any more. Sigh. Anyway, I enjoyed my afternoon remembering those bygone days of my youth.

So one more birthday has come and gone. I’ve come a long way, baby, right?

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My big brother is decked out with a gun belt, knife, kerchief, and a cool canteen.

P.S. Did you spy with your little eye the Playmobil Martin Luther in the top photo? Awesome. Someone reads this blog closely!

*”Back When We Were Beautiful” by Emmylou Harris

4 Comments
April 14, 2015

Happy birthday, Susiebelle!

by chuckofish

susie4 1Today is daughter #2’s 25th birthday! Hurrah for a quarter century!

Since all the rest of us were gathered together this past weekend toasting her sister and her running accomplishments, I felt that she might be feeling a little left out.

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But I’m sure she found something fun to do.

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Even if she’s in the living room doing her ‘homework’, chances are she’s enjoying herself.

“But oh! shipmates! on the starboard hand of every woe, there is a sure delight; and higher the top of that delight, than the bottom of the woe is deep.” (HM, Moby-Dick)

So we’ll be toasting you tonight, belle! (No fancy cocktails like you’ll be drinking, but something–“We’ve got pinot!”) Wish we were all there with you!

3 Comments
April 13, 2015

Go, Mary, Go!

by chuckofish

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Quelle weekend! So much activity–and driving–to the airport and downtown twice! Oh my.

I was outside my comfort zone several times. But it was all good.

After picking daughter #1 at the airport bright and early and getting her checked in downtown for the race, we sat out in the sun and watched lacrosse. The Hounds were triumphant 21-0 in a rout of embarrassing proportion.

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But a win is a win. They were gentlemen about it.

We got up at 4 a.m. on Sunday in order to get daughter #1 downtown and into her corral by 6:15. We watched 15,000 people run the half marathon,

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Still smiling near the finish!

and cheered and held our signs up like lunatics.

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Daughter #1 finished the race in 02:13:27–faster than she expected–and you bet we drank free beer at 9:30 in the morning–only in St. Louis!

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We celebrated back in terra cognita with breakfast at Schneithorst’s afterwards and, of course, there were several other runners there sporting handsome medals.

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It’s such a small town.

9 Comments