dual personalities

Category: family

Some prouder pageantry

by chuckofish

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A toast to our brother, whose birthday we celebrate today! I’m sure he will be celebrating Thoreau-style.

The stillness was intense and almost conscious, as if it were a natural Sabbath, and we fancied that the morning was the evening of a celestial day. The air was so elastic and crystalline that it had the same effect on the landscape that a glass has on a picture, to give it an ideal remoteness and perfection. The landscape was clothed in a mild and quiet light, in which the woods and fences checkered and partitioned it with new regularity, and rough and uneven fields stretched away with lawn-like smoothness to the horizon, and the clouds, finely distinct and picturesque, seemed a fit drapery to hang over fairy-land. The world seemed decked for some holiday or prouder pageantry, with silken streamers flying, and the course of our lives to wind on before us like a green lane into a country maze, at the season when fruit-trees are in blossom.

Why should not our whole life and its scenery be actually thus fair and distinct? All our lives want a suitable background. They should at least, like the life of the anchorite, be as impressive to behold as objects in the desert, a broken shaft or crumbling mound against a limitless horizon. Character always secures for itself this advantage, and is thus distinct and unrelated to near or trivial objects, whether things or persons.

–from “A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers” by Henry David Thoreau

Tout va bien

by chuckofish

Olivia de Havilland turns 100 today! You go, girl!

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Here she is with Leslie Howard. I know just how you feel, Olivia.

And it’s Friday and daughter #1 is arriving tonight for a three-day weekend visit! Hazzah!

The forecast is for thunderstorms, but who cares?

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At least we won’t be frying eggs on the pavement like we were last week.

We have no Big Plans beyond “toodling around” town in my Mini Cooper.

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This is a treat for her. (She lives in NYC and hardly ever gets to ride in a car!)

We’ll probably visit the needlepoint store and maybe we’ll look at wallpaper samples at Reineke’s.

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We’ll go out to lunch and go to our favorite flyover grocery store to stock up on the necessities.

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Maybe we’ll fit in Grant’s Farm and Ted Drewes and maybe not. But in between those predicted showers we’ll get the OM to barb-b-que some hamburgers. The boy and daughter #3 will drop by.

We’ll celebrate the 4th of July flyover-style with a big parade–which is now televised! Mimosas, anyone?

Sounds like a plan to me. It’s the little things, right?

And, hey, why do I not have one of these?

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Have a great long weekend and 4th of July!

“Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests”*

by chuckofish

How was your weekend? After a busy week at work, I was up for a down weekend.

We took the door off a bedroom doorway upstairs, so that we could fit the leather wing chair from downstairs through it. This was quite a process.

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We put the door back on.

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The OM and I went to Steak n’ Shake for lunch. The boy and daughter #3 came over for dinner.

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I went to a couple of estate sales. One was in our old neighborhood–a very nice old house, well-maintained (but not pretentiously so) and full of interesting stuff reflective of lives well lived. It is nice to see people’s collections and interests–even if they are not things that particularly interest me. They had a box of LP’s that was very familiar–the Kingston Trio!–and lots of books. I bought a couple of books and a plate.

The other home was in a neighborhood that was previously terra incognita to me until I started venturing out to estate sales. It is in a south county neighborhood where all the streets have names relating to General Grant and Julia Dent (Grantwood Village) so you can see how I would find it appealing. This particular house was clearly owned by someone who had probably worked at Anheuser-Busch his entire life in the brewing division and collected beer steins. They had traveled abroad and had a party basement with a full bar (with tap) that was wonderfully mid-century modern. There was absolutely nothing for me in this house, but, again, it was pleasant to be in a home where people had been happy. Somehow you can always tell.

I guess I am just a snoop at heart, but I do love to look into houses and make suppositions about the people who lived there.

We had a thunderstorm, thank heavens, and it rained for some time on Saturday afternoon. It was raining while I was talking to my DP on the phone and I saw what at first I thought was a large cat across the street at our neighbors house. Then I realized it was a fox nosing around. It  looked healthy enough, so I’m not sure why it was out and about in the  late afternoon, but it was very exciting to see.

Life goes on despite all the sound and fury in the world. It is always the little things, like seeing a fox or checking out some stranger’s beer stein collection or seeing the boy and his lovely wife, that make us the happiest. Good to remember.

Luke 9:58

Smoke in my nostrils*

by chuckofish

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How was your weekend? Did you celebrate Father’s Day? The OM and I went to Ted Drewes for frozen custard after an annoying church service on Sunday.

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Frozen custard always helps when it is too early to have a drink.

The boy and daughter #3 came over on Saturday night to celebrate Father’s Day. We barbequed hot dogs and beans. They brought over a leather wing chair-recliner from her grandparents’ house for the OM and now he will probably never get out of it again. We laughed a lot about that at his expense.

Earlier in the weekend he had hung up a shade in a bathroom, an endeavor that took 45 minutes of goddamits to finish, so he deserved all the rewards of the weekend.

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The shade was my reward. Happy Monday.

*Isaiah 65:5

Deep thoughts for Friday

by chuckofish

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Ah, it is Friday again. Per usual I have no big plans for the weekend. I will be working on filling my kitchen with good vibes (see here.)

Father’s Day is Sunday, so hopefully we will see the boy and daughter #3 at some point, but nothing is on the calendar yet. I guess it is time to wrap up some Old Spice!

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Anyway, here are a few things to think about to put you in the mood for celebrating with your OM:

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“Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.” (Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation)

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Our own pater was not one for handing out advice. (I could have used some.) In fact, he was not one for chatting with his kids. I guess that’s a pity, but certainly not uncommon. I had Ward Cleaver and John Wayne to stand in and I am not complaining.

As far as appropriate movies for the Father’s Day weekend, I would suggest:

To Kill a Mockingbird (1962) with Gregory Peck as one of the best fathers ever,

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The Bicycle Thief (1948) with Lamberto Maggiorani as a father who can’t catch a break in De Sica’s classic,

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East of Eden (1955) with Raymond Massey and James Dean as dueling father and son,

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or Rebel Without a Cause (1955) with Jim Backus and James Dean as dueling father and son,

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Big Jake (1971) starring John Wayne and two of his real-life sons and Christopher Mitchum (son of Robert) in pursuit of kidnappers,

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and Life is Beautiful (1997) with Roberto Benigni as the best father ever (next to Atticus Finch) who tries to protect his son emotionally and physically from Nazis in a concentration camp.

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There are plenty more, but these are the ones that come to mind.

Have a good weekend. See you on Monday when I will be able to say, “In the immortal words of Julius Cesar, ‘I left, I did nothing, I returned.’” (Larry David)

Grace and peace to you

by chuckofish

Did you have a wonderful three-day weekend? Mine was quite pleasant. I went to a couple of estate sales and I showed great restraint, which always makes my puritan soul happy.

I rescued one piece of vintage needlepoint–a little Victorian foot stool with K’s in the design.

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And I got a giant fern at the grocery store for $12.99.

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I went to church and read the prayers of the people. I had lunch with my BFFs and caught up with them before they head off to distant and exotic lands. I also caught up with laundry and cleaning and yard work–all the things that go with home ownership.

I finished Nashville Chrome by Rick Bass which is really more creative non-fiction than fiction. Halfway through I realized that “the Browns” were a real sibling singing group popular in the ’50s and ’60s, not a fictional group imagined by the author. (Jim Ed Brown also had a solo career–remember “Pop a Top”?)

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Anyway, the book is reasonably well written and readable–although Bass uses the word ‘incredibly’ as an adverb way too much, a real no-no in my book.

I watched a couple of good movies. Spotlight (2015) about “the true story of how the Boston Globe uncovered the massive scandal of child molestation and cover-up within the local Catholic Archdiocese, shaking the entire Catholic Church to its core,” which actually won the Best Picture Oscar this year, is quite good.

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Everyone in it is good and Billy Crudup gives a stand-out performance in a small part. It is directed with care and restraint by Tom McCarthy. Maybe a little too much restraint, if you ask me…but effective.

Anyway, I looked up Tom McCarthy to see what else he has done and so watched The Cobbler (2014)–a picture excoriated as the worst film of the year by critics. It was a total box office bomb and a disaster for its star Adam Sandler, but I liked it.

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It is the story of a fourth-generation Jewish cobbler on the lower East Side, who is bored with his life when he stumbles upon a magical heirloom that allows him to become other people and see the world in a different way. I have no idea why people hated it so much. Perhaps they expected something different from Adam Sandler–over-the-top vulgarity and crude, slap-stick humor? This movie has none of that. (I’m not sure it was even rated R.) It is thoughtful and sly with good performances all around. Dustin Hoffman even makes an appearance. Perhaps it hits a little too close to home? Well, I say, give it a try on Netflix Watch Instantly.

On Memorial Day the boy and daughter #3 came over for a BBQ. Although all the TV news stations said it would rain all weekend, it never rained until the OM went out to barbeque. Haha, no kidding.

C’est la vie. Happy Tuesday.

“I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)” *

by chuckofish

I’m back from my long weekend celebrating my niece’s wedding. It was fun being with my brother and his family.

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Chris with his son Foster

My dual personality was there with one of her sons.

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There was a lot of music.IMG_1896

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…and plenty of cousin time…

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Foster and the boy

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Cousins, including Ellen, the bride

Good times.

*e.e. cummings

Soldier, keep movin’ on*

by chuckofish

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All this rain and cool weather is doing great things for the iris and for our grass–is it ever green!

In other news, the OM and the boy and I are jetting off this afternoon to Pennsylvania where my niece will get hitched this Saturday. Daughters #1, 2 and 3 all have prior engagements (two graduations and another wedding) so they are not coming. C’est la vie.

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The wedding is in Meadville, the home of Allegheny College. William McKinley, you will recall, attended this college and Clarence Darrow and Ida Tarbell graduated from it. The wedding is taking place at the Unitarian-Universalist Church.

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Fun fact: The song “Bittersweet Motel” by the Vermont jam band, Phish, was inspired when keyboardist, Page McConnell, left a wedding in Meadville and drove down to the Pittsburgh Airport.

Halfway between Erie and Pittsburgh
You’re putting me through hell
On the highway to the Bittersweet Motel

When the only tool you have is a hammer
Everything looks like a nail
And your living at the Bittersweet Motel

Indeed, there is no quick and/or easy way to get there, so this will be an adventure in more ways than not. But I am up for an adventure this weekend…how about you?

Safe travels to all who are traveling. See you ’round campus, man!

*Toby Mac

“O Lord, how manifold are your works!” *

by chuckofish

Happy Pentecost! How was your weekend?

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We went to the last lacrosse game of the season on Friday after work and enjoyed sitting outside on a beautiful day, watching the game and the people around us. We never talked to the boy but the OM took a few pictures of him across the field with his giant lens.

On Saturday I went to several estate sales, including one in the lovely home of the brother of a former president of the U.S. His wife died a few months ago and I suppose he is down-sizing–you know, the kids took what they wanted and they were getting rid of the rest. The house was lovely and unpretentious, full of familiar things (books and LPs and monogrammed towels) and comfortable in an old school, slightly shabby way–just my style. They even had one of these–our family totem:

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(I didn’t buy his, because I have already given one to each of my children.) I did buy an old child’s chair, which had been chewed by a family dog, and a BCP.

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A good morning’s outing to be sure.

I finished Nightwoods by Charles Frazier and I highly recommend it. Good characters, tightly paced–well done. I am now reading Hope Leslie written by Catharine Maria Sedgwick in 1827, encouraged by daughter #2 who has read all of Sedgwick’s oeuvre for her dissertation. I am pleasantly surprised to report that Sedgwick is a regular Jane Austen, writing with a wry humor about “early times in Massachusetts.” Indeed the action takes place in the early seventeenth century and explores the “tumultuous relations between Puritans and Pequots.” I love this scene, described in a letter, where the fourteen-year old son pokes fun at an Anglican newcomer during a storm:

But Dame Grafton was beside herself. At one moment she fancied we should be the prey of the wild beast, and at the next, that she heard the alarm yell of the savages. Everell brought her, her prayer-book, and affecting a well-beseeming gravity, he begged her to look out the prayer for distressed women, in imminent danger of being scalped by North American Indians. The poor lady, distracted with terror, seized the book, and turned over leaf after leaf. Everell meanwhile affecting to aid her search. In vain I shook my head, reprovingly, at the boy–in vain I assured Mistress Grafton that I trusted we were in no danger; she was beyond the influence of reason; nothing allayed her fears, till chancing to catch a glance of Everell’s eye, she detected the lurking laughter, and rapping him soundly over the ears with her book, she left the room greatly enraged.

Now that is funny. “The prayer for distressed women, in imminent danger of being scalped by North American Indians.” I already like this Catherine Maria Sedgwick a lot.

The rest of the weekend was spent pleasantly puttering around, working in the yard, eating the donuts that my friend from Atlanta brought to me at work on Friday (he was in town for the air show)–note they are the “right” donuts–

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and going to a garden party in support of the Shakespeare Festival St. Louis.

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It was held at our friend’s 1867 house high up overlooking the mighty Mississippi…

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There was even a bassett hunt.

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Not bad for a stay-at-home introvert!

*Psalm 104

Dearest Mother dearest

by chuckofish

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So the OM asked me on Saturday if I wanted a fancy coffee cake or what on Mother’s Day and I said what I really would like is a donut. So he said he would go to Dunkin’ Donuts on Sunday morning. What kind of donut did I want? I said I would like a plain cake donut or a cake donut with chocolate frosting.

So on Sunday morning he duly left the house at 7 a.m. to go to Dunkin’ Donuts. He came back with half a dozen donuts: 2 blueberry, 2 glazed and 2 chocolate cake donuts with frosting.

What? When I questioned him about his selection, he said, “Well, that’s what they had.”

Sigh.

Anyway, I went to church where we were celebrating our confirmation class kids who were confirmed two weeks ago down at the Cathedral. It was a nice service and afterwards there was a reception and cake. I gave my mentee one of my favorite Frederick Buechner books and to my surprise, she gave me a present:

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A birdhouse that looks like a church! I was very touched. I’m sure Brigid and I will be lifelong friends.

The boy and daughter #3 came over for dinner. We bar-b-qued turkey burgers and drank leftover beer from my birthday party.

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Good times and a happy Mother’s Day.

(The painting is by Wassily Kandinsky, 1909)