dual personalities

Well, it’s Tuesday evening again. I’ve been channeling Andy Sipowicz on a bad day all week. And I don’t have a successful project to share with you. Earlier, my mother and I were Face-timing with Susie and Katie. Katie was enjoying her “happy hour” milk which we she was skillfully drinking with one hand since the other hand held an old cell phone. “Happy hour sounds like a good idea,” I thought.

Last week, my mother included a quote from Jonathan Edwards about maintaining a holy calm. I am a total failure in that. And the more I try to get better, the more the world seems to test me.

It’s the cement shoes that get me.

In moods like this, it is usually a good idea to find something that brings you joy. Well, I’ve got the answer. This song is sure to put a smile on your face, even if it is a short one. This video is a masterpiece.

I really want to design a line of cross-stitch patterns that are lines from this song. You know, designed to look like old-timey samplers, but the text reads, “Don’t follow leaders, watch your parking meters.” Or should it be pawking metaws?

Other lines in my series would include:

“I’m on the pavement
Thinking about the government”

“You don’t need a weatherman
To know which way the wind blows”

“The pump don’t work
’Cause the vandals took the handles”

And finally,

“Don’t wear sandals
Try to avoid the scandals”

Just thinking about this has really lightened my mood. Which lines would you cross-stitch?

*Post title is from NYPD Blue.

Today is my BFF’s birthday, so I decided to post a photo of her teenage crush Garry Unger, the captain of the St. Louis Blues during the 1970s. Here he is in all his sartorial splendor:

I don’t think that needs further comment, so I’ll just say Happy Birthday, dear friend! May the next year be full of happy, boisterous clothing and fun times!

In other news, I went to the movies last weekend to see Channing Tatum in Dog. I give this movie two thumbs up. It has a good script, good music, is never maudlin, and has excellent pacing that manages to shift between funny and sad without overdoing either.

Above all, it boasts two great actors, Channing Tatum and Lulu the dog. Maybe I liked it because it was the first movie I’ve come across in a long time that wasn’t full of explosions and physics defying CGI, and because its message could appeal to anyone of any background. What a breath of fresh air.

Have a great weekend!

As the Madcaps say, “Create bright and happy moments inside your home that are antidotes to the world outside.” (They’re the source of my post title, too). This weekend, I really channeled my inner Jason and John and gussied up a plain, old lampshade and turned it into a pattern-filled delight for my living room.

At some point, on the internet or instagram, I saw a tutorial where someone made a bunch of bias binding strips and glued them to a lampshade to look like it was pleated fabric. Inspired by that tutorial and the below photo, I decided to attempt replicating the look. Please note, I have that Ralph Lauren blue and white lamp–it was a great find I made at the Home Goods at 100th and Columbus Avenue on the Upper West Side (back in the day, I like to call it the suburbs because there was a Whole Foods, a TJ Maxx, and a Home Goods on that block).

Anyway, I ordered some block print fabric on Etsy and got to work cutting strips. The tutorial called for bias strips, but the fabric was light-weight enough that there was enough stretch without cutting on the bias (which is kind of a pain). I then used a bias tape maker to iron the fabric into bias strips. There is something incredibly soothing about sewing a mile and a half long strip of bias tape (that might be an exaggeration, but it was long).

Next, I began gluing the strips to the lampshade, placing them so that it looked as if made from one piece of pleated fabric.

It was a time-intensive process, but thankfully there was an Aurora Teagarden Mysteries marathon on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries to keep me entertained.

Once I finished gluing the strips around the outside, I trimmed the excess off at the top and bottom and began gluing a strip across the top and bottom on both sides of the shade. I used the wonder clips to hold it in place while it dried.

And here’s the finished product!

I have to say, I am not skilled with the hot glue gun (and have the scald marks on my fingers to prove it) but I am so pleased with how this turned out. I think it looks much more expensive than it was. And I don’t think it looks super homemade.

What do you think?

Is it Friday? I’m sorry to say that I completely lost track of the days and forgot that it is my turn to post. Here goes, but be warned that my extempore wit isn’t what it used to be.

Last weekend I won this pretty little inlaid mirror at a local auction.

Much as I love a good auction, I am increasingly put off by skyrocketing buyer’s premiums (up to 30%!) and exorbitant shipping fees, so it was nice to be able to support the auctioneer in the next town, whose fees are much more modest (about 12%). I rescued the little mirror for a pittance and it now sits on the dresser I bought in Vermont a few weeks ago. I also put new drapes in the bedroom in which the dresser resides, but I’ll wait until the room gets painted and everything looks nice before I post any pictures.

Aside from the auction excitement, I read more Joseph Conrad: Amy Foster, The Secret Sharer, and the Shadow Line. Of the three, I liked the Shadow Line the best — it was quite exciting. The Secret Sharer was psychological and mysterious, but ultimately not that satisfying, and Amy Foster just left me baffled. I’ve seen the 1997 film version, Swept from the Sea, starring Vincent Perez, Rachel Weisz and Ian McKellan. They turned Conrad’s ambiguous tale into a straightforward romance, albeit not one as lurid as the poster suggests.

It is a pretty good movie, but it takes liberties with the story by (forgivably) transforming the squat, wispy-haired Amy into Rachel Weisz and (unnecessarily) adding Ian McKellan’s homosexual attraction to Vincent Perez. I rather wish film-makers would leave Conrad alone.

Now I’m indulging myself with a late Mary Stewart book, Touch not the Cat, which although not her best, is certainly pleasant reading. It features a crumbling mansion, mental telepathy and moderate peril — perfect for the end of spring break. What are you reading?