dual personalities

I remember how delighted I felt when I first heard that line from “Modern Major-General”. It seemed an impossible claim and therefore perfect for Gilbert and Sullivan’s Pirates of Penzance. Decades later, though I’ve spent countless hours studying cuneiform, I still can’t write a washing bill. Being able to read a language is much different from being able to write or speak it (at least for me!). The few people who can compose in Akkadian have my complete admiration. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that one of them, Martin Worthington of Trinity College, Dublin, has written dialogue in Akkadian for Eternals, the upcoming Marvel movie. Fortunately for the cast, only a few scenes involve speaking the ancient language. I couldn’t find a clip, but you can read about it here. Below you can see Marvel’s fanciful (and wildly inaccurate) vision of ancient Babylon, complete with the Ishtar Gate as part of the outer wall. Someone had fun on the computer…

Much as I’d like to hear the A-list actors uttering Akkadian, I’m not planning on seeing the film which supposedly clocks in at a mere 2 hours and 37 minutes. I’ll wait for the right scenes to hit Youtube, thank you very much.

A more fun and accessible Akkadian movie hit Assyriological circles a couple of years ago when students at Cambridge University in the UK, then under the tutelage of the same Martin Worthington who worked on Eternals, produced a wonderful version of The Poor Man of Nippur. Many famous Assyriologists make cameo appearances (and, no, famous Assyriologists is not a contradiction in terms). Give it a watch; it’ll transport you back in time to the first millennium BC, albeit in a Medieval setting. Be sure to enable the subtitles by hitting the cc button at the bottom.

Here are the opening lines of the poem:

There once was a man of Nippur, poor and needy,

His name was Gimil-Ninurta, a wretched man.

He dwelt in his city Nippur in abject misery:

He had no silver, as befits his people,

He had no gold, as befits humankind,

His larder wanted for pure grain.

His insides burned, craving for bread,

His face was wretched, craving meat and good drink,

Every day, for want of a meal, he went to sleep hungry.

trans. B. R. Foster, Before the Muses, p. 931

Though it might remind you a little of Job, this story goes on to show how our clever protagonist Gimil-Ninurta gets the better of his oppressors. It is a folk tale, not a religious lesson, but it still has a lot to tell us about the ancient Near East. We might also learn to count our blessings, use our heads, and roll with the punches.

Have a grand weekend!