dual personalities

Month: May, 2021

May 17, 2021

“Got some things to tell ya. Not a thing to sell ya.”*

by chuckofish

How was your weekend? Daughter #1 came home on Friday afternoon and we convinced the OM to take us out to dinner. We sat inside at Amigo’s and had a margarita and quesadillas while he ate enough for three people. We girded our loins for the following day when we babysat the wee twins for a full 4 1/2 hours. (This may not sound like a long time–but multiply everything by 2 and you might get an idea of the chaos.)

We had fun playing,

FaceTiming with Cousin Katie (waving furiously),

eating lunch, playing some more,

A “roll”-over accident–get it?–the kid is a laugh riot.

and finally, camping out in the tv room to watch Disney’s Tarzan (their new favorite),

We also put together our large 49-piece puzzle map of the U.S.A.

This led to a discussion of geography and the wee laddie corrected me when I foolishly said there are 5 continents. “There are 7 continents,” he said and then he sang me a little song naming them. Miss Lottiebelle is a chatterbox with something to say about everything, but he comes in with the zingers.

After the movie, we went outside, despite the fact that it was drizzling, because we had reached our limit of inside antics. We threw the frisbee around, played a little field hockey, checked out the ants under the Hosta, sat in the back of the Cooper, and blew bubbles. The boy picked them up right on schedule and we retired inside to clean up the living room and drink a bottle of Rosé while listening to angsty tunes from the 2000s.

On Sunday we went to church where we reassured ourselves with Romans 8:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? 

As it turned out, the boy didn’t go into work, so the babes did not come over after all. Daughter #1 headed back to mid-Mo and I headed to bed, where I read and talked on the phone and napped. I think I am recovered sufficiently to work today.

And here are Josh and Carson with another cover from 1973.

*Riverboat Shuffle by Hoagy Carmichael

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May 14, 2021

“who knows if the moon’s a balloon?”*

by chuckofish

The Iris are insane again this year. And look at my Christmas Cactus–zut alors!

What a lovely spring we have had–albeit a rainy one. And my prayer plant has doubled in size since I got it last Mother’s Day!

Daughter #1 mentioned in her post this week that the bar is set real low these days regarding movies and television. Who can disagree? That is why I advise you to watch an old movie whenever possible. And by “old movie” I don’t mean a movie from the 1990s! This week, for instance I watched three films from yesteryear: The Sea Chase (1955), Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation (1962) and Sergeant Rutledge (1960). All were very enjoyable.

The Sea Chase takes place at the beginning of WWII and John Wayne plays a “good” German (i.e. non-Nazi) who is nonetheless set on taking his ship back to Germany from Australia by way of South America while being pursued by the British navy. Lana Turner plays some kind of agent with whom Wayne is saddled. Even after weeks of living in a closet on an all-male freighter, she looks perfect, but would we want it any other way? No one is surprised when they fall for each other. For once, Turner is matched with someone she doesn’t overwhelm and it is a good yarn.

Mr Hobbs Takes a Vacation is one of those family movies from the 1960s that is easy to watch and mildly amusing. But the screenplay is by Nunnally Johnson, the music by Henry Mancini and it is directed by Henry Koster–all pros who knew what they were doing and did it well. The result is more sophisticated than you might think. James Stewart and Maureen O’Hara make a good pair.

Twisting at the yacht club with the kids

Sergeant Rutledge, directed by John Ford, stars the inimitable Woody Strode as a Buffalo Soldier falsely accused of the rape and murder of a white woman. The story begins in a courtroom and it is told through flashbacks. It is an edgy film and Woody delivers big time in the climactic scene where he declares, “It was because the Ninth Cavalry was my home, my real freedom, and my self-respect, and the way I was desertin’ it, I wasn’t nuthin’ worse than a swamp-runnin’ nigger, and I ain’t that! Do you hear me? I’m a man!”

Anyway, you will not waste your time watching these movies.

It was a long, busy week and I am ready for it to be Friday! Daughter #3 is going to be out of town this weekend, so we will be helping out the boy by watching the wee twins on Saturday. The weather looks sketchy, so we’ll have to be creative. Keep us in your prayers.

By the way, I’m still laughing about Myrna Tellingheusen.

*e.e. cummings

who knows if the moon’s
a balloon,coming out of a keen city
in the sky–filled with pretty people?
(and if you and i should

get into it,if they
should take me and take you into their balloon,
why then
we’d go up higher with all the pretty people

than houses and steeples and clouds:
go sailing
away and away sailing into a keen
city which nobody’s ever visited,where

always
it’s
Spring)and everyone’s
in love and flowers pick themselves

4 Comments
May 13, 2021

We made it to Thursday!

by chuckofish

It has been a doozy of a week — making it to Thursday is a real accomplishment. We did have a lovely Mother’s Day weekend, with wine and sunshine and a new, plush bathrobe gifted for me. I am very happy to be a mom and to spend all of my time with my happy little family:

How could I not be?

This week has tested us, though. I felt sick on Monday and was totally down for the count on Tuesday (I took an actual sick day! Working, even from home, was too much). Then it took a full 24 hours to get through to my doctor for a prescription I knew I needed. Between the nurse’s line, patient portal, crossed wires with the wrong doctor… it was insanity. I am feeling better now, but yeesh.

But Katie has been in good spirits. Cruising along the coffee table to grab all the coasters — what fun. Grabbing her toes after a diaper change? HELLO!

So I will focus on the positives (Katie’s giggles) and ignore the negatives (modern technology that is supposed to make things better but really makes them way, way worse). It isn’t hard when the giggles are nonstop!

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May 12, 2021

“A woman with a lot of ideas can never have too much fabric.”*

by chuckofish

Today’s post is a real hodge podge. What can I say? Click here for a joke.

On Sunday, after driving back to Jefferson City, I printed a new pattern and set to work crawling on the floor to tape it together and cut it out. I put the self-timer on my phone to use, as well. Aren’t you so impressed? You’ll notice the kneeler I bought at the dollar store after the last time I did this. It actually really helped (when I used it).

The end sewing result is not terribly photogenic, but I am confident the next version will be better than the first attempt.

I’ve also discovered this twitter account that brings tears to my laughing eyes.

Because of course a parody account of a certain type of old lady is what makes me feel heard. [insert the eye roll emoji].

I’ve been reading Salinger, which also makes me feel heard.

“It isn’t just Wally. It could be a girl, for goodness’ sake. I mean if he were a girl–somebody in my dorm, for example–he’d have been painting scenery in some stock company all summer. Or bicycled through Wales. Or taken an apartment in New York and worked for a magazine or an advertising company. It’s everybody, I mean. Everything everybody does is so–I don’t know–not necessarily wrong, or even mean, or even stupid necessarily. But just so tiny and meaningless and–sad-making. And the worst part is, if you go bohemian or something crazy like that, you’re conforming just as much as everybody else, only in a different way.”

Franny & Zooey

In things that did not make me feel heard news, I recently watched A Rainy Day in New York, a Woody Allen for Amazon movie that was finally released in 2020 (the release was held up because of Me Too, okay). I’d say the movie is pretty standard Woody Allen. Hollywood Golden Boy Timothee Chalamet played the Woody Allen part (again, okay). The movie was enjoyable for the scenic, cleaned up New York shots but also weird because of some odd filming choices that I suspect only someone who has worked in production would be bothered by. The whole thing had the feeling of being phoned in. However, I still kind of enjoyed it. The bar is real low these days.

*@PearlsfromMyrna twitter

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May 11, 2021

Look homeward, angel

by chuckofish

Today is the birthday of American author Stanley Elkin, who taught at my flyover university for many years. He also lived two houses down from us growing up. I babysat for his children Bernie and Molly from time to time when I was in high school. His wife Joan was nice. I remember they had the cover of every book he wrote blown up to poster size and framed, which I thought was a little over the top, but to each his own.

Here’s a little film about Stanley which shows our street (I think) at about 1:01.

And here he is sitting in front of his house (photo by Esquire).

He rode a motorcycle until he was diagnosed with MS, and then he slowed down quite a bit.

Anyway, the English Department at WashU must have been quite the place back then–what with Stanley and William Gass and Howard Nemerov. The Gasses lived in our neighborhood too and Nemerov famously walked down our street on his way to work. But some of my friends didn’t like driving to my neighborhood–too sketchy.

Different perspectives.

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May 10, 2021

“I don’t have a tummy ache, I just have a tummy button.”*

by chuckofish

How was your weekend? Mine was pleasantly eventful. I took Friday afternoon off and had lunch with my pals, sitting outside–such a treat. Then daughter #1 came home and we sat outside at Club Taco, nursing a margarita and listening to the musical stylings of “Dusty Rhodes.” (Like him, but not him.) Then we made our way home and the OM provided dinner while we listened to more music.

On Saturday we went to lunch for the first time in ages (sitting inside) at the Sappington House. We moved on to the South County Antique Mall–50,000 square feet of “unique items”–where we walked up and down many miles of booths perusing the vintage junk. We headed home empty-handed to get ready for the wee babes and their parents who came over for a barbecue. Unfortunately, the day was rainy and cold, so we had to be indoors the whole time. Several mishaps ensued, but we had fun and nothing (and nobody) got broken.

I received many lovely and thoughtful gifts from my children, including these beautiful flowers from daughter #2:

But of course what warmed the cockles of this grandma’s heart was reading the “All About My Grandma” questionnaires that the twins had filled out. I was glad to know that Lottie thinks I am 200 years old and that she loves her grandma because “She is beautiful.” The wee laddie, on the other hand, loves me because I “do nothing.” Precious moments.

There was cake too!

In other news, there was a Black Bear sighting in Kirkwood on the grounds of Ursuline Academy which is a stone’s throw from our house! It moved on to Webster Hills Methodist Church where we buy pumpkins. I mean really. I do not need bears in my backyard. First armadillos, now bears. What is happening? (Update: the bear moved on to Brentwood and was tranquilized in a tree.)

The only bear I’m comfortable with…

Happy Monday! Keep an eye out for bears!

*WRC jr (having eaten a lot of cake)

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May 7, 2021

“Find beauty wherever you are.”

by chuckofish

We are thinking about Mother’s Day and we wish all mothers and grandmothers and lovely aunts a happy day. We will be celebrating with the boy and his family on Saturday night so that daughter #3 can spend Sunday with the wee babes doing fun things all day. We’ll FaceTime with daughter #2 and Baby Katie on Sunday.

Here’s a poem by May Sarton that reminds me of my mother:

For My Mother

Once more
I summon you
Out of the past
With poignant love,
You who nourished the poet
And the lover.
I see your gray eyes
Looking out to sea
In those Rockport summers,
Keeping a distance
Within the closeness
Which was never intrusive
Opening out
Into the world.
And what I remember
Is how we laughed
Till we cried
Swept into merriment
Especially when times were hard.
And what I remember
Is how you never stopped creating
And how people sent me
Dresses you had designed
With rich embroidery
In brilliant colors
Because they could not bear
To give them away
Or cast them aside.
I summon you now
Not to think of
The ceaseless battle
With pain and ill health,
The frailty and the anguish.
No, today I remember
The creator,
The lion-hearted.

Today is Truman Day in Missouri, honoring Harry S Truman, the only U.S. president born in our great state. Anyway, I thought I would share one of the videos daughter #1 has been working on for Small Business Month in MO. I think the woman in this story articulates very well how I feel about living in the Midwest–“a pretty good simple life”–which is to say, a good goal to have. You have to find the beauty wherever you are. If you look, it is there.

“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”

1 TIMOTHY 6:6–10

I watched a good movie the other night: The Great Debaters (2007) (on Hulu), directed by and starring Denzel Washington. I had never heard of it, but I trust Denzel not to be in a terrible. movie. It is based on the true story of Melvin B. Tolson, a professor at the (historically black) Wiley College in Texas. In 1935, he inspired students to form the school’s first debate team, which, in a nearly-undefeated season, sees the first debate between U.S. students from white and Negro colleges and ends with an invitation to face Harvard University’s national champions. Inspiring and true.

Have a great weekend! Call your mother.

The painting is by Hugh Cameron (1835-1918).

4 Comments
May 6, 2021

The countdown to one year

by chuckofish

Katie turned eleven months old on Monday! This feels significantly closer to one year than ten months did. It certainly feels like a countdown is beginning, doubly so because Katie will start daycare just after her first birthday. I think I am feeling deeply stressed and subconsciously sad about this fact.

I mean, I know I am. Lately, I have literally dreamt at night about how cute she is. 12 hours a day is not enough time to marvel in the cuteness!!

At the same time, if I have to have a job, I guess will be happy to have a normal workday back. And I think Katie will do well to have a play setting that is not doubling as her parents’ offices.

“Oh I’m sorry, was my cup-banging disturbing your Zoom call? Try muting yourself.”
“Mom’s talking about her boss again.”

But that is enough work talk. We will get through these last few weeks of incessant multi-tasking — and I’m sure when it’s over, we will look back on it fondly!

4 Comments
May 5, 2021

Country before country was cool.

by chuckofish

As my mother explained on the blog, last Tuesday, I drove from St. Louis to Springfield and then from Springfield to Jefferson City. It was quite the haul–but really not that bad. And, of course, I heard a lot of country radio. Once you get passed Rolla, the radio stations come and go quickly, so I did a lot of scanning. And heard a lot of small town stations. I had never heard this song–but don’t worry, I happened upon it TWICE on the drive.

This song poses a good question: what is your country song? Of course to answer that, you have to decide your genre. Afterall, we all know:

Is your country song a drinking song, a broken heart song, one of those songs with a lot of words that for some reason your brain remembers even though you can’t remember what you wanted to write down when you went to look for a pen, a story song, a gospel song that also counts as tithing, or Shania Twain? Well, let’s go girls.

Sidenote: Can I also just say that I hope your song is not Fancy!

Anyway, while on my drive, I observed another theme: songs about being country. I mean, really celebrating it, like these guys. But are you familiar with this gem? Yep, heard this on my drive.

Just look at those jeans. And that hair. Country’s favorite Texapino, as he called himself back in the day. Anyway, I suspect, we’ll be hearing a lot more songs like Thomas Rhett’s newest single in the future:

So, what’s your country song? Lately, my life feels a lot like a Hillbilly Highway. But, I’m not complaining.

8 Comments
May 4, 2021

Come, ye rains, then if ye will

by chuckofish

There is May in books forever;

May will part from Spenser never;

May’s in Milton, May’s in Prior,

May’s in Chaucer, Thomson, Dyer;

May’s in all the Italian books:—

She has old and modern nooks,

Where she sleeps with nymphs and elves,

In happy places they call shelves,

And will rise and dress your rooms

With a drapery thick with blooms.

Come, ye rains, then if ye will,

May’s at home, and with me still;

But come rather, thou, good weather,

And find us in the fields together.

–Leigh Hunt, May and the Poets

We are at peak lushness here in flyover country. Can’t wait for the Iris to pop!

I am back to reading Jorge Luis Borges:

That One 

Oh days devoted to the useless burden
of putting out of mind the biography
of a minor poet of the Southem Hemisphere,
to whom the fates or perhaps the stars have given
a body which will leave behind no child,
and blindness, which is semi-darkness and jail,
and old age, which is the dawn of death,
and fame, which absolutely nobody deserves,
and the practice of weaving hendecasyllables,
and an old love of encyclopedias
and fine handmade maps and smooth ivory,
and an incurable nostalgia for the Latin,
and bits of memories of Edinburgh and Geneva
and the loss of memory of names and dates,
and the cult of the East, which the varied peoples
of the teeming East do not themselves share,
and evening trembling with hope or expectation,
and the disease of entymology,
and the iron of Anglo-Saxon syllables,
and the moon, that always catches us by surprise,
and that worse of all bad habits, Buenos Aires,
and the subtle flavor of water, the taste of grapes,
and chocolate, oh Mexican delicacy,
and a few coins and an old hourglass,
and that an evening, like so many others,
be given over to these lines of verse.

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