dual personalities

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day — a day for young people to exchange candy, flowers and declarations of love. For some of us, long familiarity and the numbing effects of lockdown have banished all thoughts of romance. Until yesterday I forgot about Valentine’s Day; I sent no cards or goodies to my sons and bought none for the DH. This post must serve as my Valentine’s message to them.

I love my guys more than I can say — and that’s the problem, isn’t it? How can I express that effectively? “Love is not a big enough word.” There’s no better example of this very human problem than Cyrano de Bergerac, which I highly recommend reading and/or watching. The 1990 film version starring Gerard Depardieu is wonderful; the production values are superb and Depardieu makes the perfect Cyrano.

A swashbuckling hero with a gigantic nose, Cyrano is a poet and doomed romantic. He speaks in verse and takes down his enemies with a pungent insult or saber thrust. A glance from the one he loves sends him into poetic raptures:

“I – I am going to be a storm – a flame –
I need to fight whole armies alone;
I have ten hearts; I have a hundred arms;
I feel too strong to war with mortals –
BRING ME GIANTS!”

Alas, he does not believe that his beloved Roxane could ever return his feelings.

Enter the young, dashing Christian de Neuvillette who has the looks but not the words to woo the beautiful Roxane.

Wanting his love to be happy, Cyrano writes the script for Christian, and Roxane doesn’t suspect a thing. You know the rest…or if you don’t, you should watch the movie! You can’t get much more romantic than Edmond Rostand’s Cyrano.

Beyond the romance, the play has a lot to say about self-determination, art, and wounded souls. Cyrano makes his living as a musketeer and he is famous for his fighting ability, but he is a poet above all. Rather than sell out by writing for a patron, he chooses to remain unencumbered, even if that means he lives in solitude and poverty. For Cyrano, freedom is much more important than either fame or fashion:

“I may not cut a stylish figure,
but I hold my soul erect.
I wear my deeds as ribbons,
my wit is sharper than the finest mustache,
and when I walk among men,
I make truths ring like spurs.”

I leave the deeper aspects of the play for you to explore. We’ve drifted off topic and should return to the problem at hand, the difficulty involved in verbal expressions of love. Remember, you don’t have to be witty and clever, for when feelings are real “… the moment comes, and pity those for whom it never comes, when love resents clever ripostes and nimble repartee, instead of what is deeply felt and nobly told.” In other words, do the best you can and make your “truth ring like spurs”.*

I know what I’m going to watch tonight. Have a Happy Valentine’s Day with those you love! For additional recommendations, see the Melville Minute (the paper is now behind a paywall but you can access it through a private browser. Shush, don’t tell!).

*All quotes from Edmond Rostand’s Cyrano de Bergerac. Movies stills found on Google image.

I think we all know who our #1 Valentine is this year, yes?

Katie dear has been just the sweetest this week, smiling lots and snuggling in for pseudo-hugs. She is rapidly advancing toward mobility, and everyone keeps warning us that it’s “game over” then. I don’t think I will resent my daughter for crawling, but whatever. For now, she wriggles and wiggles and rolls around plenty. She seems genuinely delighted by playing with her toys, looking in the mirror, and turning her head upside down.

Well, I love her deeply. Infinite amounts, yet more and more each day. Del Griffith really sums it up.

Bonus anecdote: she and I have had some fun times in the car recently, running errands while listening to Shania Twain.

I was thrilled to remember this song, which spoke to me deeply.

Did you catch that, DN?

I’m sorry, but I’ve been watching Season 1 of Modern Family and really enjoying it. I know the dad is annoying–but without commercials and with the ability to fast forward, this show is really bringing me a lot of joy.

I mean, how can you resist Cam??

In other news, my sewing skills continue to progress. With Baby Katie as the chief recipient. Two weekends ago, I made a bonnet for the sweet babe. My mom sent me a blog post about “cottagecore” being a thing–because she is hip to the latest trends and has to inform me. Not going to lie, it’s real cute.

I know you’re impressed. Spoiler alert, it’s even cuter on!!

This weekend, I made a dress. I know. I surprise myself.

This hasn’t been shipped to Maryland yet, so you’ll have to stay tuned for a picture. But I anticipate Danny Tanner vibes.

I also made this boxy pouch. I love the fabric.

What should I name my Etsy shop? Just kidding.

I’m going home to St. Louis for the long weekend (it’s a four-day weekend for State employees because Lincoln Day falls on Friday) so yay rah for that. I guess that means limited sewing updates for next week.

To close, I was reading old blog posts and I stumbled across this quote from The Alamo that really spoke to me this week:

“It was like I was empty. Well, I’m not empty anymore. That’s what’s important, to feel useful in this old world, to hit a lick against what’s wrong for what’s right even though you get walloped for saying that word. Now I may sound like a Bible beater yelling up a revival at a river crossing camp meeting, but that don’t change the truth none. There’s right and there’s wrong. You got to do one or the other. You do the one and you’re living. You do the other and you may be walking around, but you’re dead as a beaver hat.”

Davy Crockett (John Wayne) in The Alamo (1960)

The DH and I recently used a couple of Amazon gift cards we received at Christmas to purchase a new toaster oven and a Keurig. Since there was no counter space for the Keurig in our little kitchen, we had to purchase a tiny little table for it and rearrange the appliances accordingly (the microwave moved left). I think it all worked out pretty well — it’s certainly a functional arrangement — although I do wish I could fit the doors back on the sideboard.

I must say that I love the Keurig. We are tea drinkers most of the time but we want a coffee occasionally and this makes it fast and easy. True, we wouldn’t pass as environmentalists (wasteful Keurig pods!). Nor can we count ourselves among the truly ardent “use it until it disintegrates” crowd, but we are a lot better than most people. After all, we have a house full of antiques, we don’t redecorate to keep up with fashion, and books are the only thing we buy in excess. Unlike computers, phones, TVs and other electronics, books last.

I like my modern conveniences but they have a muffling effect. Doing things the hard way is important; labor intensive tasks prevent us from atrophy both of the mind and body. Recall Arthur C. Clarke’s prescient warning: “Before you become too entranced with gorgeous gadgets and mesmerizing video displays, let me remind you that information is not knowledge, knowledge is not wisdom, and wisdom is not foresight. Each grows out of the other, and we need them all.” Achieving knowledge, wisdom and foresight takes a hell of a lot of effort, and that effort — both the mental and physical kind — is what makes life worth living. Without it, we are just passive blobs.

It’s time for this passive blob to get moving — at least as far as the Keurig 🙂