dual personalities

On Thursday I met a friend after work to go see Mission Impossible. I expected to pass a pleasant evening watching car chases and listening to Tom Cruise make quips while imperiled. It was not to be. The discovery that our movie had already gone left us with a choice between Crazy Rich Asians and The Meg. I know which one I would have picked, but my friend insisted that Crazy Rich Asians is the talk of the town and we should see it. I acquiesced, thinking that a mild romance would probably be less over-the top dumb than The Meg. I should have gone with Jason Stathem.

But I get ahead of myself. Crazy Rich Asians is making a splash. The BBC, The Washington Post and the New York Times all devote long articles to its importance as a breakthrough movie for Asian Americans, who have been so underrepresented in Hollywood. Yet, the movie has also elicited criticism from Asians for (among other things) under-representing the ethnic diversity of Singapore, where most of the action takes place. If you’re interested, the BBC article explains all the controversy. The point I wish to make is that, rather than discuss the movie’s merits, all the coverage concentrates on racial identity politics. All of it.

I can understand why Asian Americans would celebrate an all-Asian movie. What I don’t understand is why — in the name of heaven — they couldn’t find a better movie to make! Crazy Rich Asians is a stupid cliché. As a Hallmark movie it would have been groan-worthy, if mildly entertaining. As a cultural emblem it’s simply an embarrassment.

First of all, a ten year old could have come up with a better plot. And the fact that the movie is adapted from a novel is no excuse. It’s just Cinderella. Here’s a brief summary: brilliant, beautiful, hard-working Chinese-American Rachel Chu, the daughter of a poor but hard-working single mom, is the youngest-ever Professor of Economics at NYU. She is in love with handsome, Nick Young, who is Chinese, though he sports a British accent because he went to boarding school there. Unbeknownst to Rachel, Nick hails from one of the richest families in Singapore. Our devoted hero convinces Rachel to go to Singapore with him for his best friend’s wedding. Trouble ensues when Rachel meets Nick’s disapproving mother (Michelle Yeoh). After much heartbreak and predictable subplots involving goofy comic relief and mean rich girls, everything turns out exactly as expected.

Requisite goofy friend, gay relative, and nerdy brother of goofy friend — oh, and twin children

Second, and more important, the way this movie idolizes excess is simply gross.  It revels in clothes, gratuitous expenditure and wild parties in opulent settings as if that’s what we all aspire to have. One member of the family buys a pair of earrings for a million and half dollars as a matter of routine. Then she hides her purchases from her husband because he is from the working class and doesn’t understand. To no one’s surprise, that marriage breaks up. One does not get the impression the movie is attempting subtle social commentary either.

The bachelor party is on a container ship in the middle of the ocean. Everyone gets to it on a fleet of helicopters.

The best friend’s wedding is set in a church that has been turned into a jungle for the occasion.

The bachelorette party takes place at a private resort, where the ladies are treated to a shopping spree at the resort’s exclusive boutique followed by a sumptuous spa routine.

Gold lamé and rich girls screaming in anticipation of shopping

Mind you, the movie did pass my “I didn’t hate myself for watching it” test, but that bar is very low — the Meg probably would have passed as well. Still, all the actors did a good job and Singapore at night was pretty. The bottom line: If you want to watch a Cinderella remake that glorifies privileged rich people, by all means see Crazy Rich Asians. If you are looking for something original or interesting, do not.