dual personalities

Month: February, 2018

Food for thought toward the end of winter

by chuckofish

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In the bitter cold of winter the trees stand bare and seem to be dead. But in the spring, they burst forth into leaf and flower, and the first fruits begin to appear. So it was with the Master’s death and resurrection, and so it is with all who faithfully bear the burden of suffering and death. Though they may seem crushed and dead, they will yet bear beautiful flowers and glorious fruits of eternal life.

–Sadhu Sundar Singh

Being means: not numbering and counting, but ripening like a tree, which doesn’t force its sap, and stands confidently in the storms of spring, not afraid that afterward summer may not come. It does come. But it comes only to those who are patient, who are there as if eternity lay before them, so unconcernedly silent and vast. I learn it every day of my life, learn it with pain I am grateful for: patience is everything!

–Rainer Maria Rilke

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Ah, the last day of February–it is warming up but the clouds are back. Our flyover weather guru Dave Murray tells us that the “see-saw pattern of the winter” will continue into at least the beginning of the spring season. It was ever thus. Yesterday I returned a book to our west campus library–walking the block and a half there and back without a coat. The wind whipped my hair around and I arrived back at my office with that wind-blown, right-off-the-range look–a disheveled old lady. Well, I do the best I can to stay “sheveled,” but sometimes it is a losing battle.

It seems comfortable to sink down on a sofa in a corner, to look, to listen. Then it happens that two figures standing with their backs against the window appear against the branches of a spreading tree. With a shock of emotion one feels ‘There are figures without features robed in beauty’. In the pause that follows while the ripples spread, the girl to whom one should be talking says to herself, ‘He is old’. But she is wrong. It is not age; it is that a drop has fallen; another drop. Time has given the arrangement another shake. Out we creep from the arch of the currant leaves, out into a wider world. The true order of things – this is our perpetual illusion – is now apparent. Thus in a moment, in a drawing-room, our life adjusts itself to the majestic march of day across the sky.

–Virginia Woolf, The Waves

Woodcuts are by Walter J. Phillips and Erich Buchwald-Zinnwald.

He that throws a stone at another, hits himself

by chuckofish

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Today on the Episcopal calendar of saints we celebrate the life of George Herbert, English poet and parson (1593-1633). Best known for his wonderful poetry, he also wrote a volume for parish clergy,  A Country Parson. Here is section  XXVIII, The Parson in Contempt, which seems very apropos today:

The Country Parson knows well, that both for the general ignominy which is cast upon the profession, and much more for those rules, which out of his choysest judgment he hath resolved to observe, and which are described in this Book, he must be despised; because this hath been the portion of God his Master, and of Gods Saints his Brethren, and this is foretold, that it shall be so still, until things be no more. Nevertheless, according to the Apostles rule, he endeavours that none shall despise him; especially in his own Parish he suffers it not to his utmost power; for that, where contempt is, there is no room for instruction. This he procures, first by his holy and unblameable life; which carries a reverence with it, even above contempt. Secondly, by a courteous carriage, & winning behaviour: he that will be respected, must respect; doing kindnesses, but receiving none; at least of those, who are apt to despise: for this argues a height and eminency of mind, which is not easily despised, except it degenerate to pride. Thirdly, by a bold and impartial reproof, even of the best in the Parish, when occasion requires: for this may produce hatred in those that are reproved, but never contempt either in them, or others. Lastly, if the contempt shall proceed so far as to do any thing punishable by law, as contempt is apt to do, if it be not thwarted, the Parson having a due respect both to the person, and to the cause, referreth the whole matter to the examination, and punishment of those which are in Authority, that so the sentence lighting upon one, the example may reach to all. But if the Contempt be not punishable by Law, or being so, the Parson think it in his discretion either unfit, or bootelesse to contend, then when any despises him, he takes it either in an humble way, saying nothing at all; or else in a slighting way, shewing that reproaches touch him no more, then a stone thrown against heaven, where he is, and lives; or in a sad way, grieved at his own, and others sins, which continually break Gods Laws, and dishonour him with those mouths, which he continually fills, and feeds: or else in a doctrinal way, saying to the contemner, Alas, why do you thus? you hurt your self, not me; he that throws a stone at another, hits himself; and so between gentle reasoning, and pitying, he overcomes the evil: or lastly, in a Triumphant way, being glad, and Joyful, that he is made conformable to his Master; and being in the world as he was, hath this undoubted pledge of his salvation. These are the five shields, wherewith the Godly receive the darts of the wicked; leaving anger, and retorting, and revenge to the children of the world, whom another’s ill mastereth, and leadeth captive without any resistance, even in resistance, to the same destruction. For while they resist the person that reviles, they resist not the evil which takes hold of them, and is far the worse enemy.

Speaking of saints, we don’t need to remind you that Dolly Parton is awesome, but this is very cool.

Have a good day!

“Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.”*

by chuckofish

After raining all week, it rained all day Saturday and our front yard was literally a lake. On Sunday morning, however, a great bright orb appeared in the sky, and proceeded to dry everything up. It was nice to see the sun after such a long time. Of course, there are now signs of spring everywhere.

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But we mustn’t get ahead of ourselves.

I re-read The Last Kind Words Saloon by Larry McMurtry. It is a very short novell(a) about Charles Goodnight, Wyatt Earp, Doc Holiday, Buffalo Bill, various women and Indians. McMurtry is long past his Lonesome Dove powers, but there is something about his books that soothes my soul. When I finished that, I started Goodbye My Lovely by my hero, Raymond Chandler. I have a whole pile of current novels to read, but I just can’t seem to want to read them.

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A couple of weeks ago, I gave my Valentine the DVD set of the three Godfather movies, because it had occurred to me that I had never actually seen The Godfather (1972) in its entirety. We watched it Saturday night. I remember when my parents went to see it. (I was deemed too young.) They didn’t love it, but they were somewhat impressed I think. It was new and different and shocking for the time.

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It holds up after all these years, but I can’t say I loved it or anything. I guess I just do not understand gangster movies or their appeal. They are about criminals, violent sick criminals. With whom am I supposed to identify? Much less care about? The OM says their appeal has to do with people’s vicarious desire to kill/do violence to their enemies without consequences. Really? Yikes. And why did Marlon Brando win an Oscar for that role? If anyone deserved an Oscar it was Al Pacino who was the center of the film. He is really good–you can follow the arc of his character, how he changes, how his eyes deaden, how he becomes a criminal. [According to IMDB, Pacino did not attend the Oscar ceremony in protest of perceived category fraud. As his performance reflected greater screen time than that of his co-star Marlon Brando, Pacino believed he should have received a nomination for Best Actor in a Leading Role. Well, welcome to Hollywood, Al. You were robbed.] The movie has a very good cast–James Caan, Robert Duvall, Diane Keaton. Well, now I’ve seen it.

I went to church on Sunday–rite I for Lent–and enjoyed the service except for an overabundance of virtue-signaling in the sermon by our associate rector. Saints preserve me. The ushers were also annoyingly loud out in the narthex during the sermon, and I was seriously contemplating going out to tell them to please shut the heck up, but was saved from having to do so when my friend Carla got up and went and did it first! You go, girl. We all know that guys want to usher so they don’t have to sit through the service, but gabbing in the narthex is not okay.

While I was sitting in church during this penitential season, I couldn’t help but think some more about The Godfather, especially the sickening baptism scene, the climax of the film. You remember: while the baptism of Michael Corleone’s goddaughter is being enacted in some ornate Catholic church, the elaborate murders of the heads of the five New York mafia families are  simultaneously going on, orchestrated by Michael.  In essence, he is being baptized twice: once as he renews his own baptismal vows, and secondly as he is “baptized” into organized crime as the new don.

This is all very well and brilliant film-making, blah, blah, blah, oh the irony. But no thank you. Just not my cup of tea I guess.

When I got home from church, I convinced the OM to take a drive down to Ted Drewes–our first of the year.

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My mocha concrete hit the spot. The OM did a little advertising for the boy.

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I spent quite some time washing some more 30-year old toys I unearthed, but sadly, the wee babes didn’t come over as planned–sad face–so I don’t have any cute pictures. C’est la vie. We roll with the punches.

So it’s back to the salt mine today. Have a good Monday.

*Clemenza in The Godfather

You close the door and start the motor, I roll the window down*

by chuckofish

No time for a post today — I’m off to Ogdensburg for the annual Clerks’ Records Review and then I have to rush home to attend a memorial service. In the meantime, enjoy this tune

and don’t spend too much time looking in the rear view mirror.

*Boy, “Drive Darling, Drive”

I’m gonna ride

by chuckofish

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It has been a gray, gloomy week and there seems to be more of the same in store for us in flyover country. Everyone says we need the rain and that is surely true, but, gee, a glimpse of the sun would be quite welcome.

This weekend I plan to hunker down and do some work around the old manse.

I think I will get out my unfinished needlepoint projects and choose one to work on.

Then I may catch up on John Crist videos. This was funny:

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Nice to know there are kids over-dosing on John Crist videos and not heroin. Speaking of obsessed, the wee babes are very into the Spirit Netflix show.

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Especially little Lottie.IMG_2599.jpegAnyway, if you have young children, you might want to check out this show on Netflix. I hear it is awesome.

It’s a whole thing. We even gave Lottie the Spirit plush toy for Valentine’s Day.

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Well…hopefully, they can tear themselves away long enough to come over to our house on Sunday for dinner.

Happy Friday!

“Even so, come, Lord Jesus.”

by chuckofish

I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last.

14 Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.

15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

16 I Jesus have sent mine angel to testify unto you these things in the churches. I am the root and the offspring of David, and the bright and morning star.

17 And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.

18 For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:

19 And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.

20 He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.

21 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.

–Revelation 22: 13–21 (the last page of the Bible)

Well, Billy Graham has died at the age of 99. He always said, “I’ve read the last page of the Bible, it’s all going to turn out all right.”

We know that he is where he longed to be. “My home is in Heaven. I’m just traveling through this world,” he said.

But we will miss him, won’t we? Just knowing he was still there was reassuring.

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I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.” (2 Timothy 4:7-8)

I am reminded of how Billy Graham went to visit the dying Steve McQueen and pray with him. As they parted, so the story goes, Steve said, “I’ll see you in Heaven.”

I’m sure there was quite a delegation there to greet Billy.

[Here is a nice testimony about Billy and Ruth. Be sure to read this story about Tommy James (of the Shondells) and his conversion experience. Here’s something from Wheaton College. Here’s what the Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church had to say about Billy Graham yesterday. And this is a classic.]

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“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”*

by chuckofish

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I have been super busy at work lately.

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Thankfully my office is a pleasant space filled with lovely things I have brought from home.

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And thankfully I like my job.

Each day I live I thank the Lord
I do the work I love;
And in it find a rich reward,
All price and praise above.
For few may do the work they love,
The fond unique employ,
That fits them as a hand a glove,
And gives them joy.

Oh gentlefolk, do you and you
Who toil for daily hire,
Consider that the job you do
Is to your heart’s desire?
Aye, though you are to it resigned,
And will no duty shirk,
Oh do you in your private mind
Adore your work?

Twice happy man whose job is joy,
Whose hand and heart combine,
In brave and excellent employ
As radiantly as mine!
But oh the weary, dreary day,
The wear and tear and irk
Of countless souls who cannot say:
‘I love my work.’

–Robert Service

And remember: “If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent place.”  (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet)

*Philippians 4:13

By night when others soundly slept

by chuckofish

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By night when others soundly slept

And hath at once both ease and Rest,

My waking eyes were open kept

And so to lie I found it best.

 

I sought him whom my Soul did Love,

With tears I sought him earnestly.

He bow’d his ear down from Above.

In vain I did not seek or cry.

 

My hungry Soul he fill’d with Good;

He in his Bottle put my tears,

My smarting wounds washt in his blood,

And banisht thence my Doubts and fears.

 

What to my Saviour shall I give

Who freely hath done this for me?

I’ll serve him here whilst I shall live

And Love him to Eternity.

–Anne Bradstreet (1647 or earlier)

The painting is by George Sotter (1979–1953)

Postcards from Mid-MO

by chuckofish

Our quick trip to Mid-Missouri–although the drive there was in a rainy/snowy mix all the way–was short but super fun.

We went to the state capitol, Jefferson City, which looks like a movie set of  a small town.

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We toured the capitol,

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which was deserted on Saturday. We wandered around and saw our favorite murals.

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Some nice guy unlocked the House lounge so we could see the Thomas Hart Benton murals.

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Daughter #1 used her secret code to get us into the Supreme Court building and we checked out her office.

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It was much nicer than she had led us to believe. I was glad to see that my favorite elephant planter had found a nice home there.

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I was also happy to see that the 10 Commandments are still outside.

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And also these guys.

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It was a rather cold and bleak midwinter day.

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But the sun came out and it cleared up around three o’clock. We took the OM back to daughter #1’s apartment to chillax (nap) and then we headed into bustling Columbia to check out a nice shop and the wine bar.

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When we finally packed up and made our way home, daughter #1 made pesto and we watched those favorite Simpsons episodes I wrote about last week. We watched some Olympics and then turned in around 9:30 pm–par for the course.

We headed home on Sunday morning.

I finished re-reading Dead Man’s Walk by Larry McMurtry–not as good certainly as Lonesome Dove, but a good adventure story which held my interest. Woodrow Call and Augustus McCrae fighting off hostile Indians is quite diverting in 2018 and I may read more in that genre. I need diversion.

Also diverting are the wee babes who came over on Sunday night. The wee laddie was a little under the weather with a cough and runny nose,

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Pappy has a grip on the wee laddie.

but that didn’t slow him down much. He reunited with his old friends the handles on the highboy.

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Who said, “The vandals took the handles”?

Little Lottie was on the go as well.

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They chased each other around the dining room and under the table. They ate meatloaf. We listened to their favorite song–“In the Bleak Midwinter”–such nascent Episcopalians.

Good times. Now we’re off to the salt mine again. Have a good week!

Don’t be afraid to write in a book — own it!

by chuckofish

Last week I wrote about the prologues of books. This week’s post will continue the theme, this time concentrating on dedications and doodles, and what we learn from them.

A few days ago, I received a box from my cousin Steve containing four books that had belonged to our grandfather and great-grandmother, and to a distant uncle by marriage.

This  1880 edition of Ben Hur belonged to George S. Smith, who married Sarah Pamela Rand in 1882, when they were both in their fifties. She was the daughter of Robert Rand and Laura Wheeler Rand. I believe that I read this copy of Ben Hur the summer I visited my aunt Susanne when I was about 13. I am delighted to see it again!

More unusual is the book, Up from Slavery, the autobiography of Booker T. Washington that Susie Louise Cameron gave to James Erskine, the uncle who raised her and her sister after their mother’s death. It is inscribed thus:

What an interesting gift choice. I was so intrigued that I started reading it, and I must say that I am incredibly impressed. Booker T. Washington was a profoundly thoughtful Christian man, who should be much more celebrated than he is. I’ll blog about him  next week. In the meantime, let’s turn to the two volumes that belonged to our grandfather, Bunker Cameron.

The first, Two Little Savages by Ernest Thompson Seton, he received from his sister when he was 13 years old.

The classic story of two farm boys, who build a teepee in the woods and decide to live off the land for a month, the book primarily teaches practical woodcraft. The well worn pages and slightly broken binding suggest that Bunker got a lot of use from the gift. Certainly, he was the type to enjoy “going native” in the Vermont woods. Two Little Savages is still in print and would make a perfect gift for anyone who wants to learn how to survive in the wild — or at least the backyard. Today’s youth could use more of this type of thing, don’t you agree?

Finally, we have a school text, Selections from Irving’s Sketch Book, in which we find these lovely doodles and comments:

Some things never change, especially the impulse to write our names and draw in our books . Notably,  none of the books I’ve inherited contain book plates. I suppose that before the advent of the stick-in, write-on kind we use now such extravagances were the province of the rich.

As for the rest of us, it’s fine to write in books as long as we don’t deface them (YES to light annotations, but NO to underlining and highlighting). When you give a book as a gift, you should always include a dedication. Such inscriptions give a book a provenance and add to its history. Your message will resonate long after the hand who wrote it is gone, and someday someone may wonder enough about the book’s previous owner to go find out who he/she was.

Books are wonderful artifacts. Treat them with respect and care, but don’t leave them on the shelf. Read them!