dual personalities

On Saturday I went to yet another funeral–this time for someone who we all felt would live forever. (Her mother died last year at 101.)

I had known Marian for years and years. She was an exceptional Churchwoman–chair of countless important diocesan committees, vestry member, head of the church school. Plus, you know, she was president of the Vassar Club and the Junior League. She was confident and organized and energetic–in a word: awesome. When I was chairman of the Musee de Noel (a monstrous fundraising effort organized by the Vassar, Smith and Bryn Mawr clubs for many years) and had no help from the hapless and helpless president of the Smith Club, Marian was my right-hand man.

She also changed my life. We were in a small prayer group together and she took me aside once and said (in so many words): “Katie, you can see the glass as half empty or see it as half full. It’s as simple as that. It’s your choice.” Really, it was one of those bolt-from-heaven-slap-in-the-face moments where you realize you have to pay attention and make a change.

And I did. I trained myself to see the glass as half full. It can be done. It is hard for us melancholy Scot types, but not impossible.

Anyway, I had to go back to my old church for her funeral, which is always a bit of a stressful undertaking.

The church was packed–picture a good turn-out on Easter–and the service, which the bulletin termed a “Requiem for the Repose of the Soul of MFC” let out all the stops. Usually the minister says the “I am the resurrection and the life saith the Lord” opening section of the “Order for the Burial of the Dead” as he processes down the aisle, but their “world-class” choir chanted it. They also sang the psalms, as well as anthems at the communion and the commendation, and so it all felt sort of like a performance. But oh well. If anyone deserved such a service, it was Marian. We got to sing three hymns and it was Rite One–always a treat nowadays.

The rector gave the homily and although I do not like him, I liked what he said. This is another reminder to pay ATTENTION, because you never know when or from whom you will hear something meaningful. What he said was quite puritan-like I thought: We are living in a botched creation. Heaven is the world as God wants it to be. But we will be raised, restored and finished. As Christians, Heaven is our destination. Alleluia.

I have to say it was good to be back at old Grace Church on Sunday. In contrast to the well-oiled machine that is my old church, it was business as usual. For example, the Intercessor prayed “For those who rest in China and for all the dead” instead of “those who rest in Christ.” Good grief–let’s remember to wear our glasses next time, honey. It made me chuckle.

Blessings to Marian who fought the good fight of faith and who rests in Christ.