May | 2013 | dual personalities

May 20, 2013

And then we were all in one place

by chuckofish

Sunday was Pentecost, and coincidentally, Grace Church officially merged with another parish, so it was an extra big deal for all concerned. However, when I got to church, some new person was sitting in “my pew” (!) so I had to look around for another place to sit. You see how it is.

I moved down the row and sat with my old friend Ron, an 80-year old African-American retired Army Colonel. It was a good choice as we happily made barbed comments throughout the overly-long 2-hour service which included four baptisms–in Ron’s words, “The worst logistical hash-up” of the year–and a brass quartet which intruded on our post-communion prayer time–“so much for our moment of quiet contemplation.” Ron and I were, of course, the only members on our knees in prayer, because for some unknown reason which neither of us understands, kneeling has been phased out of our liturgy. When I asked Ron after the service if he knew why that was, he did not, but commented that “in that other church, they have a Pope who decides those things.” We were on the same page for sure.

Although the choir was off-key most of the time and the brass quartet hit some really sour notes, it was a happy and welcoming occasion. But enough already–I skipped the church picnic afterwards and came home to water my plants and finish up my DIY bathroom project.

Somehow I convinced my old man to take me down to Ted Drewes for some frozen goodness.

It is already in the “hot and humid” range here in flyover land and I refuse to turn on the airco before June, so frozen custard it is.

How was your weekend?

6 Comments

May 18, 2013

Yul and the Gang

by chuckofish

My son, James (not Jim), is home for a visit and in need of some real, home-cooked food — none of that “prepared by a chef, cooked by you” frozen fair for these hungry boys. [Please note: Boy #2, who is missing from the photo, returns from London tomorrow!]

See how hungry they look?

What better opportunity to try out my Yul Brynner Cookbook?

The recipes in the book (supposedly) reflect Yul’s heritage: Russian, Japanese, Gypsy, Swiss, French, Chinese, and Thai. Oh, my! Since we’re fond of curry and don’t mind a little heat to it, I chose “sauteed chicken with hot curry” from the Thai section.

Yul liked his curry REALLY HOT. The recipe calls for 6-8 dried chillies! Fortunately, I know better than to follow even Yul Brynner’s recipes slavishly, so I just put in a couple of shakes of red pepper flakes. Aside from the peppers, the recipe is really quite simple and (when modified) very delicious accompanied by Naan bread and a cooling Adirondack Lager. Trust me, you would not want to put 6-8 chillies in this curry!

I give Yul Brynner, chef extraordinaire, two thumbs up! And this is what I imagine he’d think of our blog:

For my next Yul Brynner movie night I’ll have to prepare something from the Gypsy section of the book. I think Yul would approve, don’t you?

6 Comments

May 17, 2013

Words of Wisdom

by chuckofish

It is that time of year again. Graduation time–which means commencement speeches. Ugh. It is the time of year when the least appropriate people (entertainers and comedians and politicians) make advisorial speeches. Aaron Sorkin. Jane Lynch. Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart. But people want to be entertained. They want snappy one-liners.

I thought I might find some good ones for a blog post, but just try googling “commencement address”. You come up with nothing but tripe.

At daughter #2’s graduation last year, the best her top-10 university could come up with was some cartoonist.

I remember nothing noteworthy from his speech.

Shirley Chisholm, the first African-American woman elected to Congress, was the speaker at my graduation from Smith College.

I remember nothing from her speech.

Betty Friedan, a leading figure in the women’s movement in the U.S., spoke at my sister’s Smith gradation in 1981.

I remember I thought she gave a good talk–there were some good take-aways and she refrained from haranguing us. Unfortunately, I can no longer remember any of what she said.

The highly touted speech at Kenyon College by David Foster Wallace in 2005 is, in the last analysis, just depressing. He tells the graduates to be conscious and aware, which is what I’m always saying: Pay attention! But he doesn’t tell them to be grateful. No wonder he hung himself a few years later.

As always, my expectations have been and remain, too high.

My nephew Foster making a thought-provoking and rousing senior speech at his high school graduation–the exception to the rule.

Well, don’t forget to wear your sunscreen.

6 Comments

May 16, 2013

Now learn

by chuckofish

“Now learn,” she commanded herself, “learn at last that anywhere you may expect grace.” And she was filled with happiness like a girl at this new proof that the traits she lived for were everywhere, that the world was ready.”

–Thornton Wilder, The Bridge of San Luis Rey

2 Comments

May 15, 2013

He said it

by chuckofish

“The multitude of books is a great evil. There is no measure or limit to this fever of writing; everyone must be an author; some out of vanity to acquire celebrity; others for the sake of lucre or gain.”

–Martin Luther, Table Talk (1569)

Sadly, four hundred and fifty years later, this is still the case. I can hardly bear to go into a big bookstore these days. It is too depressing to see the mess that is produced.

However, there are still some bright lights out there. I see that there is a new Fred Vargas mystery coming out in June.

I do love Commissaire Adamsberg, the chief of police in Paris’s seventh arrondissement!

And there is a new Alexander McCall Smith #1 Ladies Detective Agency book coming out in November.

I like the title of this new one!

Hilary Mantel is working feverishly to finish the third and final installment of her Thomas Cromwell trilogy–one fears before she is too ill to write. Ugh.

Anything else I can look forward to?

3 Comments

May 14, 2013

Oh, the shark, babe

by chuckofish

Today is Bobby Darin’s birthday!

Darin (May 14, 1936 – December 20, 1973), you will recall, was an American singer, songwriter, and actor of film and television. He performed in a range of music genres, including pop, rock, jazz, folk, and country.

When I was growing up, we had a 45-record of Darin’s 1959 hit “Mack the Knife”, which our mother loved. We accused her of listening to it too much and teased her about her uncharacteristic affection for Bobby Darin. My sister and I even had a dance routine worked out with specific hand gestures, which we would perform for years to come (and may have as recently as the boy’s wedding). Of course, we thought it was spectacularly silly and made much fun of Bobby Darin. But truth be told, we secretly liked him a lot.

He made some not-so-classic films with his wife Sandra Dee, but I do love Come September (1960), which stars Rock Hudson and Gina Lollobrigida and, in a small part, Leslie Howard’s son, Ronald Howard.

Awkward, to say the least…

Bobby Darin was best when playing young, finger-snapping hipsters and he was not so great in serious roles. He memorably over-acted in the part of a shell-shocked soldier in Captain Newman, M.D. (1963) with Gregory Peck and Angie Dickinson, and was even nominated for an Academy Award. He didn’t win, of course, but it must have been a thrill for him. (At the Cannes Film Festival he won the French Film Critics Award for best actor. Zut alors!)

Singing was his real forte though and he became world famous for such hits as “Splish Splash”, “Dream Lover” and “Beyond the Sea”. He died much too young at age 37. Here he is singing his great #1 hit “Mack the Knife”.

P.S. Darin had a custom car built called the “Dream Car”, designed by Andy DiDia, which is on display at the St. Louis Museum of Transportation. It is, like its owner, pretty darn cool.

4 Comments

May 13, 2013

R.I.P. Ray Harryhausen

by chuckofish

Ray Harryhausen, a special effects master whose sword-fighting skeletons, six-tentacled octopus, and other fantastical creations were loved by generations of movie fans, died last week on May 7. He was 92.

The great-grandson of African explorer David Livingstone, Harryhausen was born in Los Angeles on June 19, 1920. As a boy, he saw the 1925 silent fantasy “The Lost World,” Willis O’Brien’s stop-motion movie about dinosaurs in a South American jungle. His future was assured in 1933 when he saw “King Kong” at Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood.

My favorite movie with visual effects by Harryhausen is The Valley of Gwangi (1969), starring our hometown boy, James Franciscus. It also boasts a musical score by the wonderful Jerome Moross. You gotta love a movie where “cowboys battle monsters in the lost world of Forbidden Valley” and the hero gets to say, “There’s a big lizard back there and he’s headed this way!” There is even a fight between a circus elephant and the TRex.

This movie is definitely worth a look-see. Here’s the trailer:

1 Comment

May 12, 2013

A few of my favorite film mothers

by chuckofish

who are guaranteed to inspire a sense of well-being or possibly tears on Mother’s Day (in no particular order).

1. Lillian Gish as the stalwart mother of Burt Lancaster, Audrey Hepburn, Audie Murphy, and Doug McClure in The Unforgiven. Her dying speech manages to be sad and comforting at the same time.

2. The wonderfully dotty Josephine Hull as Veta Louise Simmons, mother of Myrtle Mae and sister of Elwood P. Dowd (Jimmy Stewart), in Harvey. Did we not tease our mother about a certain likeness to her?

3. Myrna Loy as a supportive and loving wife and mother in The Best Years of our Lives. She and Frederick March are a lovely couple, but then, Myra is always wonderful.

4. Jo Van Fleet as Paul Newman’s mother in Cool Hand Luke. She and Paul Newman make a perfect doomed mother/son pair. Her sad, chain-smoking, self-aware portrayal is spot on.

5. And of course, one of my role models, Morticia Addams, played to serene perfection by Angelica Houston.

Who would you add to the list?

2 Comments

May 11, 2013

White and red

by chuckofish

Trillium grows all over the woods around our cabin.

It’s an endangered plant in New York (and, indeed, much of North America) — I suppose because it does not reproduce easily, is not aggressive, and invites New Age herbalists to dig it up (shame on them). We are always thrilled to find this modest, delicate plant scattered around our woods.

Do you have any Trillium in your woods?

[Note: look for a longer post tomorrow. Today is graduation and I’m in for a long (interminably long) ceremony this afternoon and must do chores first.]

3 Comments

May 10, 2013

The citadel of the family*

by chuckofish

Mother’s Day approaches. This is a bittersweet holiday for me, since it has been 25 years since I had a mother with whom to celebrate.

But the blogosphere has been a-buzz with “What has your mother taught you?” posts, and I think it is still a valuable exercise to consider this question. And, of course, I do love lists. So here are some of the things that my mother taught me:

Keep it simple.

Holidays call for parties. Parties are always best when there are favors.

When you act like a lady, people treat you like a lady.

Going out for lunch is the best.

Going for a drive can help you take your mind off your problems.

Talk to children like adults.

Children like routine and boundaries, but try to be spontaneous once in awhile.

Furniture should not “match” and “suites” of furniture are indeed tacky. If you have antiques, they will not all be from the same period. It is okay to mix it up a little!

Hugging is good.

Children owe their parents nothing. They did not ask to be born. (She was the opposite of a Jewish mother.) Of course, this attitude makes you realize you owe your parents everything.

She was a bit of a snob, but she hated the expression “white trash”. No person is trash.

You never really know a person until you’ve walked around in their shoes for awhile.

Be Kind. Be kind. Be kind.

She must have been disappointed by my mean-girl persona at times, but I think she understood that it was a jungle at my private school. I remember once I complained about the girl who sat in the assigned desk in front of me (in first grade no less), who would turn around and put her “fat arm” on my desk. My mother said, “My heart bleeds for her.” I was surprised. There was no sympathy for me who had to put up with this unappealing girl. Of course, I immediately felt ashamed of my intolerance and I still cringe at the memory. I never liked that girl though.

My mother was not perfect and she taught me a few things which I had to un-learn over the years as well. But on the whole, she was a truly wonderful mother and I miss her every day.

What did you learn from your mother?

Here’s a lovely last-minute gift idea list from La Dolce Vita blog. Good ideas, but, no, I do not want to go see Baz Luhrmann’s The Great Gatsby with Leo.

Happy Mother’s Day and read this quote–It kind of says it all:

*”She seemed to know, to accept, to welcome her position, the citadel of the family, the strong place that could not be taken. And since old Tom and the children could not know hurt or fear unless she acknowledged hurt and fear, she had practiced denying them in herself. And since, when a joyful thing happened, they looked to see whether joy was on her, it was her habit to build up laughter out of inadequate materials. But better than joy was calm. Imperturbability could be depended upon. And from her great and humble position in the family she had taken dignity and a clean calm beauty. From her position as healer, her hands had grown sure and cool and quiet; from her position as arbiter she had become as remote and faultless in judgment as a goddess. She seemed to know that if she swayed the family shook, and if she ever really deeply wavered or despaired the family would fall, the family will to function would be gone.”
― John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath

8 Comments

Month: May, 2013

by chuckofish

by chuckofish

by chuckofish

by chuckofish

by chuckofish

by chuckofish

by chuckofish

by chuckofish

by chuckofish

by chuckofish